My Sweet Boy, Spunky, Just Died

I have a 17 lb, black, mixed poodle/terrier - 12 years old...and he died suddenly Saturday morning. His name is Spunky, 'cuz that's his personality.

I have done nothing but cry and sleep for 3 days now. Each morning I don't want to get out of bed, but I do because I take care of my daughter's two big dogs and a cat, and they have to go potty and be fed. I'll have my coffee and think of all the things I can do today. Go to the market, cook soup, straighten up this house, call a friend for a cup of coffee, water, put away the rest of the xmas stuff.....but then I start to cry because Spunky didn't bark me awake this morning at 8 or 8:30 - depending on how hungry he is (and he was ALWAYS hungry).

Then I'll cry after my coffee and roll 'cuz he's not here to lick the crumbs off the plate where the roll was - he loved doing that.

Then I'll cry because I don't see his waggly little butt walking away from me toward the bed, where he goes under (it's his cave) and takes his morning nap.

In about an hour or two I'll cry again because it's time to take him out to go potty and when I call him he sticks his little head out from under the bed and the bed skirt sort of makes a sort of scarf around his face - then out comes the rest of him wiggling and waggling and heading for the door.

This goes on all morning - the routine that doesn't happen - until I've cried myself into exhaustion and go to sleep for a couple of hours., and I never did get out the house.

My daughter and her boyfriend came over after work today and insisted I go out for dinner with them. I'm so glad I did.

My goal is to get out of this house tomorrow. I'd already made plans for lunch with some friends and I'm going to do it.

I miss him so much I can hardly stand it. He was my little guy - my little friend - my sweet baby,

Thanks for being here and listening.