Maxi Died Yesterday

Hello everyone who has been kind enough to stop by and read when I had the Post."Maxi is dying". Many heartfelt thanks also to those of you who were able to write a loving, encouraging word to me.
Yesterday morning (Oct. 15th) I had an appointment to take my Max to the vet to be "put to sleep." Well, I wlke up next to him on the sofa, could not bear to leave the room Thursday night, and found him laying on the floor in front of me. He let out two sorrowful Meow's and I picked him up and wrapped him in a blanket. I sat with him, he was dying. I have never experienced anything like this. His crying, breathing hard, I kept stroking him telling him it was ok to go. We called the vet to ask if we could come right over. I ran to get dressed, and as soon as I came back and relieved my husband of the holding a dying cat, Maxi let out two more loud howls, and then his poor little body went limp. I have never felt such a hole in my heart. I had the feeling the night before that this may happen. Did not want to have to take him for the Euthinasia that morning. I guess he said goodbye to me on his terms, THANK GOD, and he crossed over to the happy place where kitties, puppies, and all the other furry pets we all may have, go.
I know that you all here can understand, I walk in circles, go out and stare at his grave, cry, cry and cry more. Just don't know what to do. Feel like everything here is different now. The other cats were in the room when he died, They are all acting different, of course.
That empty space here at home is just unbearable right now. I just want him to come home, not have cancer, meow to me, shed all over me.
It is amazing how such a little kittie leaving can make such a huge void in a house.
Love,
Suzanne

My Maxi Is Dying...

Hi to all who may read this,
My name is Suzanne..or rather Maxi's (my big black kitty)"girlfriend. Max is almost 7..(Dec. 19th would be his next birthday). He has been diagnosed with terminal cancer, swollen lymph nodes all over his body and hard as it is to even type here, I am taking him for his last car ride on Friday morning...Oct. 15th, 2004. He has been with me since his mother gave birth to he and his 2 other brothers and his sister boo-boo kitty. My parents have the two brothers, I still have boo-boo. Max has been the most vocal and adoring cat ever. When I was single and a boyfriend or even just a male friend would come to visit, Max would stake his territory quickly. It got to be a joke among my friends that he was the only man in my life. I since got married this year and Max has tried to bond...I know do not know how to deal with the pain, loss, guilt and remose of my faithful companion, confidante, admirer when I was sick, how do I say goodbye? I cry non stop, and do not know how I am going to deal with this on Friday. Any help, any suggestions, and can anyone relate to this thought of "how will the other three cats deal with him not being here anymore"?
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Suzanne