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hope2heal
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Joined: 14-October 08
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Last Seen: 11th February 2010 - 12:34 PM
Local Time: Oct 31 2024, 07:18 PM
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28 Jan 2010
Hi--
I want to remain a member of L-S, but I just don't want to receive EVERY single new post that comes in each day; my personal Windows Mailbox is just overflowing with L-S Posts and it's driving me crazy. PLEASE HELP! Thank you
13 Nov 2008
Has anyone ever sworn off getting another animal altogether?
I've loved animals my entire life, was especially fond of dogs, but honestly don't see myself having one ever again. I can't go through this pain again. I can't believe I made the mistakes I did with my dog. I can't imagine carrying this guilt around for the rest of my life. People say I have to let it go and that with time it will soften. I've lost many other pets--3 dogs included-- but no loss has been this devastating. It pains me to see dogs anymore, on TV or with friends or relatives. Life has been a nightmare since my dog died. Has anyone decided they had to keep animals out of their life after a loss, and found they can be okay with it?
14 Oct 2008
I had to put my dog to sleep in July and I am overwhelmed with guilt, for NOT FOLLOWING UP after my dog continued to show symptoms. We only had her for 2 1/2 years. She was a rescue dog, approx. 7 yrs old. In mid-spring she seemed hesitant in urinating (I thought it was maybe because we had lots of rain--which she hated--and foxes coming in the yard marking territory--she would pee faster when I took her out front); then drinking seemed a little less. I took her to the vet and she tested negative for a UTI (she was on immunosuppressant drugs to keep an auto immune illness in check; had had 2 UTIs before). Vet just said urine was highly alkaline and had crystals. I asked if that could be from diet he said sometimes; gave no recommendations. I was always catching grief from spouse re: vet bills; I know that had some influence in my not looking further into this. My gut kept telling me something was not right but I kept dismissing it. I was always on top of things for her EVERY other time, but currently feeling quite a strain in my marriage. It sickens me now, after doing research I believe she may have had kidney stones or some blockage, and slowly became toxic and organs shut down. Here I was planning to finally take her back in to the vet the week following July 4th but she suddenly crashed. Hospital gave diagnosis of Immune Mediated Hemolytic Anemia (she had become anemic, but I wonder if it's because her liver probably shut down. Hospital didn't check her liver numbers so I'll never know for sure I suppose). (I was so upset at hospital I didn't remember to tell them about peeing symptom.)
I feel like no one here has or would do such a horrible thing. I feel I let my dog down, that I LET HER DIE! HOW could I DO such a thing? Why didn't I research her symptoms more? Here I am now, doing it AFTER she's gone. I always knew that kidney failure was excessive drinking and urinating, so that was another factor in my dismissing it. BUT I do remember having the thought before of Could there be a blockage? and I apparently DISMISSED IT! My dog was having symptoms for WEEKS and I tried to explain it away to myself, Well she's drinking less, so there's less pee...BLAH BLAH BLAH. I can't understand why I did that. I would never have intentionally hurt her, yet I feel like I just let her go. I had an uncertain feeling, but didn't follow through. I can't get past this. I'm attending a Pet Loss Support group which I've found to be somewhat helpful. Have made a couple friends there who are very kind but I sometimes wonder if they must think I'm just an awful person. It hurts so much to see my dog's photos; she always looked so human. I see her face looking at me and feel I let her down so badly. I can't have her back now. How could I let her slip away? |
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