Lost My Boy Jake And Need Help Coping

HI everyone,

I'm new to this site and I am really hoping that some of you who have gone through this can give me
some comforting words. I lost my German Shepherd Jake on the 10th of September to Bloat. I never
dreamed when I took him in to the animal hospital that I wouldn't be bringing him back home. He had surgery
and the doc said that it was going to be touch and go because there was damage to his liver. He called me
on Wednesday morning to tell me that my Jake had passed. I feel so guilty, if I had gotten him there sooner
maybe he would have made it, and I wasn't there with him when he died... I didn't get to say goodbye to him.
It hurts so much, he was my buddie. He went everywhere I went. He slept on the floor beside my bed. I still
look for him to come bouncing through the room with his big ole ears. Jake would have been three years old
this January, he was so young. After Jake passed I went down to the vets office immediately because I just
wanted to see him to hold him. I told the vet that one day I will see my Jake again and when I get to heaven
he will be there waiting for me at the gates. Its the only comfort I have right now.
Friends and relatives are having a really hard time identifying with my pain, they don't understand why
I cannot move on and just "get over it" How can I? I lost my best friend!
My vet was so upset over losing Jake he was crying when he called me. He was a great friend not only to me
but everyone who knew him. He was so loving, I just don't understand why, why my sweet boy had to go?

He is now resting peacefully on our land and my husband made him a beautiful white cross with his name on it.
I still can't handle going out to the grave because all I picture is my babys lifeless body being put into the ground.
I don't know how to post pictures here, but as soon as I learn how to do that I will post a picture of my sweet boy
so you all can see his beautiful face.

Thank you all for listening to me

Luv4myJaKe