I Lost Another Baby

As some of you know I lost my Cuddley(18 yrs old) this year on May 24th. Well I lost his brother Beethovan( would of been 17 in August) on June 11th. My heart can't handle the pain of losing both of them so close to eachother. !8 days apart. Beethovan just couldn't go on anymore. That morning he dropped a little poop on the rug and acted like he had to throw up, shortly after that he started to have trouble breathing. We took him in to the vet right away. When we got there he was panting. On the ride there he wanted to sit next to me, I was holding him but he seemed to be uncomfortable, so I put him next to me. He looked up at me and let out a small meow, with a look in his eyes, asking me to please help him. I told him mommy knows....you don't feel good, soon everything will be better. While the vet was getting the shot ready, he was laying on a comfy quilt that they had put on the table, I had him covered with his blankie( he was cold) he lifted his paw up to me to hold when he seen her come around the table. He always loved to have his eyes rubbed with a kleenex, so I held his little paw and rubbed his eyes with a kleenex, as she was giving him the shot. As I watched his life slip away.... I wispered to him how much I love him and how much I always will. I wispered him out of this world. Cuddley and Beethovan were the last of the seven cats I brought out here with me in 1989. The final chapter was closed on June 11th at 9:56 a.m. The house is so empty now. I do have my Mantha kitty 1 Yr old and my dog Chance 3 yrs old, but I miss my boys so much. It's been 20 years since I've had just one cat in the house. As Cuddley had his thing with the water bowl at night, Beethovan had his with the couch. He always had to sit by the arm of the couch. When ever I was sitting there he would let me know he wanted to sit there, he would sit there and wait for the moment when he could steal it away. As soon as I got up he would hurry and steal my place. That first night without him, I moved over so I could rub his place on the couch. We have 2 recliners in the t.v. room, one big one and a small one for my grandson. Whenever my husband went to watch t.v., if Beethovan was in the big recliner, my hubby would sit in the small recliner(talk about a site). He didn't want to disturbe Beethovan. I've been so upest over them I've caused my medical problem to flare up. Now I'll be on meds for a week. I'm so depressed, I knew Beethovan wasn't going to make it thru the month, but I still wasn't prepared for it. I'm so tired and exhausted, I just can't get a good nights sleep.

My Cuddley Cat Passed Away

Yesterday at 3:23 p.m. my Cuddley Cat passed away, he was 18 y/o. I miss him so much. I had him from the minute he was born. I had a sleepless night last night....I just kept seeing him laying on the couch slowly dieing while we( him and I ) waited for our ride to the vet. I could of drove but I didn't want to lay him in the seat, I wanted to hold him as long as I could....for I knew I wouldn't have him to hold to much longer, and I wanted him to know that mommy wasn't going to leave him, not for a second. My heart aches for him. Last year we were told he had a heart murmer, his little heart was tired and so was he, he just couldn't go on anymore. I kept telling him when he would try to meow it was ok to let go. By the time we got to the vet he was almost gone. I knew Dr. Lynn couldn't save him and I didn't want him laying like that for a day or so. So she gave him the shot. Then the tears flowed and haven't stopped. Sunday he was fine, Monday he was gone....18 years of true love, gone in a blink of an eye. Last night as I was getting ready to go to bed I had to do one more thing for Cuddley. Every night he would let me know that the water bowl wasn't full enough. He always had to have the water filled to the tip top of the bowl. So, I filled that bowl one more time for Cuddley. As I filled it I told him, here you go my boy, filled to the tip top for ya. We buried him up on the bank in our yard. He's up there with his mom, dad, a brother, and two sisters. I have his last brother left(Beethovan) he'll be 17. I brought all seven of them with me when I moved here to AZ back in 1989. My heart is so empty, but yet feels so heavy. I didn't want to do anything today, but having 9 other pets I had to do my things. 6 of those pets are geese, I had to clean their pools. I feel so depressed and lonely for my boy. My pain showes, I loved him and still do with all my heart.