1 Week

I can't believe its been a whole week since i kissed that soft little belly.I guess your daddy and i agreed without saying so to not speak of you today, and it was so hard as we only have one another and I the folks here.noone calls noone cares and when i did mention you the other day while out i actully got an eyeroll i wanted to sceam, i dont know what is wrong with people! and i am begining not to care, the people i have been around have not given me any joy that i can remmember as opposed to you my baby that gave me so much joy everyday, i miss playing hide and seek with you and i hate that i can walk down the hall unacostted noone jumpimg out at me. Sydney just stays in bed with whoever is sleeping shes fine but i am sure she misses you too. i cant believe i even miss the litter pan we do not need 2 now and so Sdyney has to do both in the one pan,you girls were so funny using one for pee and the other for foo-stinky, its just insane the things that are gone like being able to answer "the grey one did it" when anything happens not having to shut the bedroom door so daddy can sleep without you two chasing each other over his head, no walking you to the mailbox, and i lit a candle today and was able to leave the room and not worry about the baby getting at it.even trowing away a cig pack has changed i cant bear to wad them up i just toss them away cause i know you wont be fighting me for them.and i cant help but wish i could help daddy more i see him mist up often and i know i can talk to him whenever i want but i see his heart breaking so i am trying to not as much i wil just try and talk here more, he put his every morning milk cup away with a stern warning for me not to throw it out. i really just dont know what were gonna do we boith miss you so much its so hard,the word moving even came up.I just hope you knew how much we wanted to save you, we would have done anything not to lose you anything but let you suffer.i cant see to type anymore i love you baby,im sure i will come here often

My Baby

I just have to say what happened ,I have a few friends and more family,and but for my husband none of them understand nor do they seem to care. I have had one out of all say I am sorry to hear....I just need to tell it to someone who understands so here goes.
Kasey was only 9mo.s old She wa a supprise for my Husband (he'd never had a kitten) when I went to pick her up she was so tiny and to young to leave mom but she was in a bad situation and I just could not leave her! So home she came and she just lit up the house! We had Sydney (4) our other cat and Shorty (3) Our parakeet that we got for Sydney.But Kasey Just seemed to be the completion of our little family! Anyway life wa just one big love fest in our house. My husband and I had had 7 really hard years trying to be together I had gotten Sydney while he was forced to be in Austrlia for 6 long mo.s (imagrations woes for 7 years)any way,everything was comming together. 3 weeks ago out of the blue Shorty passed we were crushed we love that little bird.We had a little service for him. and planted a rose.And I held on to Kasey alot I have been unable to work for 7 mo.s so she was my constant companion.She had and extra digit so I taught her to shake,she fetched just like a dog, and we went for walks she took to a leash right away.On moday a week after Shorty had passed we took both girls in to be spayed I remmeber we both were so nervous about leaving them but they came out fine and Sydey was even better all of the sudden she love her little sister and Kasey had always loved her in 2 days they were all better.On sat. we were talking about how lucky we were! on sunday I gave the girls there snack at 9:00 at 9:45 I said to hubby as he was leaving Kasey looks like shes having trouble breathing @ 12 I was on the phone telling him to come give me the car to take her to the er. We had talked about it we figured I was just being a nervous because of Shorty So even though I was upset I kept thinking that I was just being hysterical that she had a hairball or at worst an infection from the surgery.It turned out to be one of the longest nights of my life.She went from crying for her snack to 3 hours later having no hope.With-in an hour I was getting Kaseys daddy from work so he could hear and then we left for them to do more test! It was wosre then they thought its was feline lukemia and no hope only torture for her if we tried to save her which we did fight over abit I just could not let my baby suffer hubby wanted to take her home just one more night with her, when they brought her in she was having such trouble breathing (and we had had them Tap her lungs just an hour before) it was awful. We had a few minutes with her I let her have all the Baby beef (favorite snack) she could eat which was not alot then we held her while they gave her the shot.I dont remmemeber ever feeling pain like that! Being responsable for that tiny life slipping away,and I have never seen pain like that in Ty's eyes(hubby)I have lost precious pets before a few were very tragic and trumatic but I am not copeing with this at all By the time I found this place its been 4 days and I just am not healing. Did not help when the er called yesterday and threatend not to do as we wished with her if we did not pay the bill immediatly. they called her it and well what a mess..anyway if you made it all the way thru this I thank you so much so listening I came home from the hospital and wrote a poem for her but this is so long I may post it later. thanks
KaseysMom

My Babys Gone

I just found this site and please forgive me if this is not right. I just have to talk about the nightmare that came out of the blue. Is this the right place?