I Lost My "lil Girl" Last Nite

Hi, I had Lily for 17 yrs. and she had a tumor for the past week and a half and my vet said she couldn't operate because of her age and she was also battling kidney disease. I felt the time was right (Sunday nite) last nite to put her to sleep because she had difficulty breathing and I remember my vet saying that when that happens, it's time to end her suffering. I went to the emergency vet because my regular vet wouldn't be around until Tuesday. I was with her during the euthanasia. I didn't think it'd be so hard on me, but it was afterall. I could tell she was scared. It took 4 attempts until the needle entered the vein. I feel bad that she had to endure that many attempts. Plus the vet didn't give her a sedative beforehand. I didn't find out until after the fact, by searching info online, that I could have requested one. But nevertheless, she passed on. I noticed her tail had fuzzed out afterwards. That worries me and makes me sad because does that mean it's a delayed reaction to her being scared? Or was that just a typical side effect or after effect of what happens to the body after euthanasia? I really need some encouragement because I don't want to think of her being traumatized for those last 2 minutes of her life, with the needle attempts and the fuzzed out tail. I can't get those images outta my head. Please, anyone, give me some feedback, comments and responses here. If any of you would prefer to email me your thoughts and replies instead, my email address is LunarPond@aol.com Thank you so much. Sincerely, Leigh