Losing Scout

I had to make the decision to put my beloved cat, Scout to sleep on Monday. Her kidneys shut down.
I did not recognize... well I noticed that she lost weight. I thought feeding her the soft food that she loved would help. Now I know that she was the one that was filling the cat box with urine...I have 2 other furbabies as well. To make a long painful story short, she was suffering with this and I was in complete denial. She would only find comfort in my lap...sometimes I was too overwhelmed, stressed or maybe selfish to always respond to her needs...I feel horrible about this. I look back on the last 3 weeks and wonder why I didn t recognize that my poor sweet girl was so sick . I was in denial. Last Thursday I rushed home from work at 10:30 am when it really became all too clear. Scout is really sick and I need to take her to the vet NOW. She was in critical condition . All i know is that I keep playing that film in my mind of her - so sweet and loving even when she felt so bad. I had her 11 years and will miss my Scout always. Her "mate" Max is looking for her in his way. It breaks my heart....