Will I Ever Love Other Cats?

My beloved cats Pavlov and Ginger passed away within 11 months of each other, and my life has not been the same since. Pavlov was 20 years old and had been with me for 18 1/2 years. He passed away in March 05. Pavlov was like a dog in his devotion and sensitivity to me. He truly lived to make me happy. Ginger was only 13-14 years old when she passed away from complications due to obesity. Ginger was a sweet, docile, one-woman cat who had been mistreated prior to me finding her, and she took several years to trust me completely. But, once she did, then she too was a very devoted and loving companion. Ginger passed away in February 06, just 11 months after Pavlov. Although I thought that I was on the road to healing, sometimes I feel that I will never recover from the loss of my cats.

I attended my sister's wedding out of state last weekend. Over the course of the festivities, I spent time at my sister's house, where she has 3 cats and a dog. I spent time with two of her cats who seemed to take a liking to me. It was the most time I had spent with cats, since Ginger passed away last February. When I came home from the weekend, I found a cat's play ball behind my dresser in my bedroom. Finding this reminder of my cats made me sob with such an intensity, it was as if I had lost my cats only recently. Although I had enjoyed spending time with my sister's cats, it only made me realize once again that no other cats will ever take the place of mine. I just can't imagine ever bonding with cats again, the way I bonded with and loved mine. I know that many people adopt new pets very soon after losing their current ones. But, even though it has been over 1 1/2 years since losing Pavlov, and 10 months since losing Ginger, I feel that I will never love another cat the way I loved them. In some ways, it feels that I have not moved on with my life very well, since losing them.

Sandy

Empty House Is So Lonely

This past Saturday marked two weeks since I had my beautiful tabby Ginger put to sleep. On Friday night, I was dreading going home and being alone in the house on the weekend. I lost my 20-year old Siamese/Tabby Pavlov last March 11, and Ginger has been my saving grace since then. I live alone, am currently not in a relationship, and Ginger was the most important thing in my daily life. The house has been unbearably empty since Ginger passed. I was so dreading going home Friday night that I actually stayed in a local hotel for the night. Can you believe that? Actually, I did get some temporary relief from the pain. It was like taking a one-night vacation. It was easier to deal with the pain, by being in a different location, even if for one night.

Sandy

One Week Anniversary Tomorrow

It will be one week tomorrow since I had my beautiful tabby cat Ginger put down. As I write this message, I am still at work. This will be the first full weekend at home without Ginger and I am dreading it. I know the house will be so quiet and lonely without her. I know I made the right decision for Ginger, but I can't help thinking that if I had delayed the decision, then I would have her to go home to tonight.

I have not yet picked up Ginger's remains from the vet's office. I had her cremated. I don't know whether I'll pick them up tomorrow - I may give myself more time.

I am becoming angry at the lack of support that I have received from the people in my life. I am very alone in my loss, and need people to support me. But, the reactions or lack thereof that I've received just make me want to retreat more into myself. On the one hand, I try not to judge people too harshly who do not offer the support and understanding that I have received on this site. But, on the other hand, I have to ask myself whether I want to have people in my life who cannot offer me empathy and support when I need it.

I miss Ginger very much ....

Lost 2 Cats In 11 Months

First, let me say that I am deeply sorry for everyone who has lost a pet. I know the terrible grief and pain that accompanies this type of loss. I am on this site because I really need to express and share my experience. I have been looking for a pet loss support group that meets in my area, but thus far, have found only one group. They meet only once a month, and their next meeting isn't until March 15. I need support now, and hope that my posting provides some relief or comfort.

This past Saturday, I lost my second cat in 11 months. My beautiful red tabby Ginger was euthanized. Ginger was a 13-14 year old cat that weighed almost 29 pounds at the time of her passing. She should have weighed 10-12 pounds. Ginger had been on prescription diet cat food for about 9 years and had maintained a weight of 20 pounds for most of that time. But, over the past few years, her weight slowly increased, until she lost almost all of her mobility. Nothing could be done to resolve the problem. I did everything I could to accomodate her excessive weight problem, but eventually her quality of life became unacceptable. Ginger was the second cat in 11 months that I had euthanized. In March of 2005, my 20-year old cat Pavlov lost his life due to illness and old age. Ginger helped me to get through the incredible pain and loss that I experiened at that time. But now, I have noone to help me get through Ginger's loss. For the first time in almost 20 years, my house is devoid of cats. And for the first time in my life (I'm almost 43), my house has no other living creature except me. I am single and have no children. My cats were everything to me. Pavlov was with me for 18 1/2 years, and Ginger was with me for 11 years. They both saw me through countless transitions in life and offered the unconditional love and support that pets do. Since Pavlov died last March, I have been very depressed. With the passing of Ginger now, I am just trying to make it through each day. I know that in time, the pain of Ginger's loss will become less acute, as has occurred with the loss of Pavlov. But, I wonder if I will ever really feel the joy and happiness that I felt when I had my beloved guardian angel felines with me?

God Bless everyone in their time of need.

Sandy