I Can't Stop Crying :-(

I wondered if anyone has any words to help understand why the tears just seem to go on and on and on

I find this insight from www.griefshare.org a wee bit helpful; hope you will too ...

(I've written these words a second time, for people who might miss the other post )

Understanding Your Grief Grief is not an enemy or a sign of weakness. It is a sign of being human. Grief is the cost of loving someone.

Since grief comes to everyone, why do some people seem to work through it better than others?

"Some people think that going through the losses or crises of life are the exceptional times," says Dr. H. Norman Wright.

"I see it differently. I see the times of calm as the exceptions. Life really is going through one loss after another, one crisis after another.

Grief Is a Unique Experience You may feel it is useless to talk about your grief because no one truly understands what you are going through.

"You sometimes feel after an experience like this that you're talking a foreign language," says Dora, whose daughter died. "You feel like there's no way anybody can know what you're feeling. There is absolutely no way anyone can know the depth of your pain. So you feel like it's futile to talk about it because words can't express the pain."

Although countless people have experienced grief before you, each person's response to grief is different. Your path of grief will be uniquely your own.

Grief Lasts Longer Than Expected Grief's unexpected turns will throw you again and again. You may feel that for every step forward, you take at least one step back. The grieving process generally takes longer than you ever imagined.

Please don't rush this process. Remember, what you are feeling is not only normal; it is necessary.

Unpredictable Emotions The unpredictable timing and odd combinations of emotions that hit you during grief can leave you confused and despairing.

"My life was totally flipped upside down emotionally, in every way you could think of," says Sue, whose husband died.

"My emotions occurred spontaneously, and sometimes two or three at the same time," says Cindy, whose daughter passed away.

Although there are stages that are common to the process of grief, they do not occur in a predictable order. Your emotions will be random, sometimes overwhelming, and completely unique.

"Whatever your emotions lead you to feel, it's okay to feel how you're feeling," says Randy, whose sister died. "I think there are several emotions people are going to go through that are beyond their control."

Your emotions not only hit hard, but they can also occur at unexpected moments, which makes the impact seem even worse. Being aware of the unpredictable nature of your emotions will help you stand firm during each new barrage.

Grief Is Disruptive Grief affects everything you do. It can disrupt every aspect of your life in ways you might not expect.

"I don't think I had time to think because psychologically I wasn't with it," says Nancy, whose husband passed away. "I would do stupid things. I would be coming home thinking I was on X Street, and then I'd realize, 'Well, I'm on the wrong street.' It was dumb things like that."

Identify Your Losses One reason grief disrupts so many aspects of your life is because your loss is not one isolated loss. You will miss so many qualities and facets of the person you lost that each will become an opportunity to experience grief.

The range of things you need to grieve for may surprise you. Identify your losses and be prepared to grieve for each one.


Use the list below as a starting point.
• your companion
• your child or baby
• your encourager
• your "entertainer"
• your source of delight
• the one who shares your private jokes
• the one who knows you so well
• the shoulder on which you cry
• the arms that embrace and comfort you
• the one who always cheers you
• your friend
• your pride and joy

Losing a Part of Yourself The loss of a close family member creates extra depth and complexity to your grief. You shared a special and intimate connection with your loved one, and this relationship helped you define who you were. Losing this person has literally ripped you apart on the inside, leaving you unsure of your own identity.

Dr. Jim Conway, speaking of the death of his wife, says, "When Sally died, it was as if someone took a giant samurai sword and just cut me right down the middle. I kept asking myself and God, 'How am I supposed to go on with one leg, with one arm, with half a brain? How am I supposed to do all of this?"

Take care,

marlene

Comfort In Our Pain

I've just been listening to some words by Joyce Meyer on how God wants to bring us comfort and encouragement in our loss; and they're really helping me.

The whole issue of how and why a 'loving' God could allow all the horrible pain that we're experiencing is very hard, but if anyone would like a copy of the stuff that's helping me right now, I'd love to send it on.....

Thinking of you all,

Marlene

I'll Regret This For The Rest Of My Life

I've just lost my beautiful best friend (hamster) in very tragic cir%%stances, and have been really moved by everybody's words on this forum.

I'm feeling very tired with all the crying and grieving (and trying not to think of my wee darlin, choking to death in front of my eyes -I gave him a very unsuitable 'treat', and panicked and wasn't quick enough to get hold of a pipette with water).

I wanted to tell you about a website that's really helping me right now:

www.pet-loss.net

Check it out -it's very sensitively worded, and has lots of good practical advice too.

Thinking of you all in your pain, and praying that God and your friends and family will help to strengthen and comfort you at this time.

Warmest wishes,

Marlene