I Had To Put My Nicu To Sleep This Morning

He was my best friend. My Siamese cat who I found on the street when he was just a couple of days old. I'm sitting here sobbing as I type this because he is the only living creature who has stuck by my side for so long. I do not have a reliable family. I am single and not very attractive so I don't have a lot of hopes for having love in my life. Nicu was it. For 14 years and 5 months, he was my sweet little boy. He had kidney failure and this morning at 2 a.m., he struggled to crawl onto my chest and lay there. He just looked at me and I knew he was ready. I took him to the emergency pet clinic and held his head while they gave him the shot. I thought it would be a relief when we went, but it wasn't. I miss my little boy so much. And now I am all alone in this world, just like I always knew I would be. And I don't want to live. I want my sweet little boy back.