Do You Believe In Signs?

I've always believed in signs....but this one took my breath away. Kizzy passed away around 1:30 AM Friday morning. Sat evening we went out to eat at a Chinese Restaurant. I was telling my husband how I was doing a little better...and how I was trying to remember Kizzy alive and playing....we even had a few laughs about some of our trips with Kizzy....while we were talking, I picked up my fortune cookie and when I broke it open, I gasped. It simply said "Miss You". I know that Kizzy didn't "write" the message...but I feel that when the waitress picked those cookies up out of the box....that one was meant for me. It wasn't just that is said Miss You....I "felt" it all through me in the instant I saw the words.
I think one of the things I'm having such a hard time with is a loss of my beliefs. Before loosing Kizzy I believed that when a soul passes it doesn't leave, but becomes part of everything. But through my grief, I couldn't "feel" Kizzy here...and I think it's because it hurt too much to even think of him not being here in body.
It has helped me alot gathering all the photos we have of him...and seeing what a great life we had together...and I know...I believe that all that energy can't just disappear...it's still here...he's still here...and I'll love him forever.
Kelly

Our Kizzy Is Gone

Our beautiful himalayan, Kizzy, died one week ago tonight. He had just turned 12 the week before and I kept telling my husband that Kiz was scaring me because he wouldn't leave my side...like he was trying to say goodbye. Now I know he was..to everyone...me, my husband and our 4 yr old daughter. Laying on us, purring, every time we sat still for more than a second. Oh, when I think of the times I set him down to go do something I just cringe. If I could just hold him one more time. I had just taken our 2 other boys to be neutered 2 weeks ago and I asked my husband if he thought it was safe to make an appointment to have Kizzy's teeth cleaned. We agreed that we'd skip it and not take the chance. And then last Wednesday my husband called me with a severe kidney stone attack (he hasn't had one for 4 yrs)...he works away during the week and he drove home so we could see the doctor the next day. The stone passed and Thursday we went to the doctor and ended up having a wonderful day just driving around and going out to eat. When we came home that night we decided to clip Kizzy's hair because of the heat...and it always perks him up in the summer to have his new hair-do. But as he started to clip we saw that Kizzy wasn't his normal self...just laying there letting my husband clip him without even a flick of his tail. We decided to give him a quick bath and after just a few minutes he had a heart attack in my husband's arms....he stayed with us for about 45 minutes...while I went hysterical..not believing what I was seeing. He was in my arms as he passed and I was in disbelief. I was so thankful that my husband was home, but I also feel immense guilt because I wonder if we just hadn't bathed him...he'd still be with us. I've talked to others who said that it was just his and if all it took was a bath for his heart to give...then it would've happened soon anyway. I am driving my crazy with the what-ifs. I'm a what-if person anyway.....so this is just too much. I having trouble dealing with how final death is...he was here...and then gone....no phone call, money, prayer, hope or work can bring him back.
Kizzy was given to us as a gift from an angel of a breeder 12 yrs ago right before our wedding. Next week I'm turning 31 and we got Kizzy when I was 19. He has been with us through so much....I don't know how to deal with not having him here. I dread the mornings...because for a few seconds I wonder why he's not beside me. He traveled with us and was in almost every state in the US.
Kizzy was my first pet.....ever. And I've never lost anyone close to me...so this has been very traumatic for me. My husband breaks my heart when I hear him talk about Kizzy...but it helps to know we're in this together.
Well, I could go on forever...but I should stop now and try to get some sleep. I haven't been sleeping or eating right for a week........when does it get any easier????
Kelly