Too Soon For A New Kitty? Options

[Gracie's Mama]

It'll be three weeks tomorrow since my little Gracie died and while it has gotten a little easier, my boyfriend and I have run into the issue of getting a new cat. Because of Gracie's leukemia, we have to wait at least another week before we bring another kitty home so we're just testing the waters right now to see if the right cats (we're going to get 2 this time) are out there. But it is so unbearably lonely in the apartment without her. My bed feels so empty without her beside me, my lap feels cold without her curled up in it, and I don't know what to do to keep my hands busy without her soft, fleecy fur to pet. I even miss her standing outside the bedroom door in the morning, practically tapping her paw impatiently as she waited for breakfast! I feel like I have no purpose without a cat. But what if I'm mistaken and it's just that I feel like I have no purpose with Gracie? That may sound sort of lame, but I can remember how she would look up at me and her eyes would be filled with so much love and trust and I knew - at that moment - that I meant as much to her as she meant to me.

I don't feel like I would be betraying her memory by getting another cat, that's not really the issue. I just worry that I won't be as good of a mom to my next kitties as I was to Gracie. If you got a new pet after your furbaby passed, how long did you wait? Did anybody feel the same way I do?

[SJ J & S]

The only advice any of us can give is that a new cat would not replace Gracie.
Three weeks is a very short time and you are still grieving, and new kitties would not take away the pain of loosing Gracie, they may distract you and warm your lap but the pain will still be there.

As long as you are ready to accept the new kitties for their own little personalities then I would say go ahead, only you can know when the time is right.

But I wouldn’t worry about not being as good a mum to them because no matter how hard we may try these little fur bundles have a way of stealing our heart without us even knowing its gone.

Good luck
Love Sue

[LS Support]

put this short story into perspective...

when tribble died, and as all of you know, i had to deal with his personal effects - dish, toys, sleeping
box, etc. well we had picked up a stray kitten with 3 legs that ultimately became trib's #1 buddy. none
of the other 3 cats in the house could stand him so the kitten was a welcomed addition. trib was a
big cat, so he wore a big collar...turquoise leather with diamond (yeah, i wish) studs. the day after he
died my first impulse was to transfer the now empty collar to the new kitten, to which my then wife
totally disagreed with. looking back, i have to admit that was textbook transference.

bottom line is everybody goes at their own pace. with that said, however, i agree with Sue that
its a bit too soon because you still miss Gracie's personality and daily quirkisms. part of the healing
process is coming to the realization that although you can replace the physical body it is impossible
to replace the bond established over years of both good times and bad.

[beth4275]

Noone can tell you when it is too soon or when the right time is ... my snoops died in September and I was devastated (still am to some extent). I thought at the time that I would wait for awhile before getting another dog ... didn't want to betray his memory and I was afraid that I would keep wanting the new one to be him. Well, as things turned out I lasted about a week before I realized that my world was too empty. I had reached the point where I was staying at work to all hours of the night so I didn't have to go home ... not a good situation. My husband and I decided to go look at puppies that weekend (a week after Snoops passed) and we ended up bringing home the most precious bundle ... we got a second pup at the same time but he was too young to bring home at the time. I had misgivings ... but what I discovered was that I didn't expect the new little ones to be my Snoops ... I saw the differences and enjoyed them. What did happen is that the lonliness and emptiness went away. The new ones helped fill up the days but they did not take the pain of losing snoops away ... that is still here with me and I still cry over him (although not as often as I used to).

An interesting thing though ... I have noticed that the youngest one has a lot of traits the my Snoops had and that makes my new little guy all that more precious to me.

As long as you are not looking for a replacment and you feel ready then go for it ... only you know if it is too soon ...

Good luck and I am deeply sorry for your loss ...

Beth

[Saki & Freyj...]

I guess people without pets do not realize how empty and quiet their houses are!!! I don't know how they stand it.

We lost Freyja dog on May 28, then Saki cat June 19... Even though Electra was still with us, the house was just too quiet. I wanted to "wait" before we got another. Really, I didn't want another dog, but we got another one anyway on July 12. A puppy does make the house less quiet. Hathor fills up all the rooms. But -- it does not make you miss the ones who have gone on any less. In fact, it can make you miss them more...

Still, only you can know when you are ready.... I'd recommend waiting, but only you can know.