A Sudden Feeling Of Despair, came out of nowhere Options

[Pamela]

I've actually went 2 full days with out breaking down, I was just sitting on the couch and out of nowhere it was just like it happened yesterday, I think for the most part I have found a way to put the hurt in perspective, but ouch...I think it is because tommrow I am going on a temp job, it is the first time I have went back to work since it happened, it kind of is a milestone of moving on for me. Going to work and coming home to Moose has been a routine that I have done for 9yrs. I so miss having him around, I've been so lonely for him since he's been gone. I hate the fact that I have to move on without him... ya know? Pamela

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[Muffins]

Hi Pamela:

Going to work and coming home to Moose has been a routine that I have done for 9 years.

Congrats Pamela, on starting a new temp job tomorrow..........(actually, later this morning ........)

But, always & forever remember that your sweet Moose Dog WILL ALWAYS BE WITH YOU.............HE LIVES ON
WITHIN YOUR HEART AND SOUL!!!!!!!

I DO believe that, because I truly believe that my sweet girl Ernestine lives on, within me.....

When you love someone soooooooooooooooo deeply, as you do your precious MOOSE DOG, always remember that A LOVE THAT STRONG.............A BOND THAT STRONG...........CAN NEVER, EVER BE BROKEN...........

I believe that to be the TRUTH!!!!

Please, let us know how you do tomorrow at work............Write before, during and/or after.......... Whenever you get
a chance..........
Keep in contact with us......
You know that we all care about you!!!

God Bless, my friend......

Love, Denise & Family xo

[Ann H]

Hi Pamela, Good luck on your new job maybe it will be one that you will like. I know it will be so hard for you to come home when you get off from work and not have Moose greet you at the door. I will be thinking of you and wishing you well.
Love, Ann

[Romeo's_daddy]

Hi Pamela. I think the thing that strikes me about so many us who are grieving, is our inability to forgive ourselves and to let go. I do not mean forgetting about our loved ones who have passed!!! I will never, ever, forget Romeo. I will never forget that I wasn't there to say goodbye. I will never forget that all I did was pick him up, put him in his carrier, and take him to the vet, without telling him I loved him, or giving him a hug, or giving him a kiss, because I assumed I would be getting him back. It's been a hard lesson learned, and a mistake I won't repeat. I miss him looking out the window and then running to the door after spotting me. I miss everything about him. All of our situations are different, and no doubt yours is more difficult from mine from a guilt perspective.

What's helped me is focusing extra attention on Juliet, my other cat. Also looking for a replacement cat. I have decided not to bring another cat into my home for a couple of reasons. Firstly, my vet seems to think Romeo might have had FIP, in which case it has been passed onto Juliet. She also informed me that stress can cause this disease to come out of dormancy, and I simply cannot risk that with my Julie. I also didn't think I could live with a cat that didn't cuddle and kiss me the way Romeo did. I know Juliet loves me, but she expresses her affection differently. I am now beginning to think that Juliet's love will be enough for me. That and the fact that I couldn't forgive myself if I knowingly put her health at risk. I know if you had the chance to relive that day over, the day you lost Moose, you would do it in a heartbeat, and you would throw yourself in front of that car to save him.

I don't know much about you, but I know your parents are no longer with you. I don't know if you have friends who can support you emotionally or talk to you about this without being condescending. You see, my animals are all I have. I don't make friends easily. I am extremely close with my parents, and believe it or not, being the animal lovers they are, my father actually cried more and harder over the past week than I have about Romeo's passing, even though he's only met him a handful of times.

Try to focus on Gato Manx. Give him extra love and attention and remember that he can sense your sadness. Also remember that, and I truly believe this, that Moose would be sad to see you so unhappy. It's hard for us to have to learn certain lessons at the expense of innocent creatures. And for that we pay with our own emotional pain.

But I also know that if you replace Moose at some point in the future, that the mistake you made would never be repeated, and sadly, there are millions of animal owners who have also learned this. I was once walking Elvis (my Pug) without a leash. He started walking ahead of me and I wasn't looking and the next thing I knew I heard this horrible screaming. Another dog was attacking him, had his jaws locked onto Elvis's shoulder. Everything else happened in slow motion. Not nearly as tragic as your story, but my point is that my error caused my dog a great deal of pain. And even though it's years later, I can still see the look on Elvis's face in my head, and his screams in my ears. But I will never make that mistake again. And although he survived, and although as soon as I tore the other dog off of him, ripping Elvis's skin away from the muscle in the process, he tried to go right back after the dog as if a second ago he wasn't screaming in pain. We all need to remember that as much a part of our family as our pets are, they are animals, and as well trained as as they may be, they still have instincts that put them inherently in danger in the modern world. Dumb deer and rabbits and squirrels and chipmunks running across the street into traffic??? Humans put the roads there. Humans invented cars because horses weren't fast enough. Humans infringed on the wildlife, not the other way around.

I know I'm rambling now so let me just say that you need to forgive yourself and be strong for Gato Manx. Spoil him, cherish him, love him. And know that Moose has already forgiven you. Hang in there and if you ever need to talk, e-mail me or any of the others on this website that know what you're going through.

Steve

[zoeysdad]

Hang in there, Pamela. You're making progress---it was just one of those days. Tomorrow will probably be a better day. Good luck with the new job.

[Kathleen032]

Hi, Pamela-

I think it must be something with the weather, or maybe it's the approaching holiday season, but I, too, have had some real down moments about Shiloh. Yesterday and today I cried on my way to work and on my way home. I've not done that for about 4 weeks.

Hang in there, my thoughts are with you.
Kathleen