Escalating Health Probelms And Our Final Gift Options

[Phoenix19]

Back in September of last year, we took our little boy to the vet because he was chewing on his feet and actually biting his nails down to the quick. Our vet diagnosed him with a bacterial infection and gave him Prednisone and GenOne Spray. His feet did improve somewhat, but not completely. He then started to lose weight dramatically. Another trip to the vet, and this time the vet did lab tests and said he had liver disease. On this visit, our boy was diagnosed with both conjunctivitis and diabetes and was given antibiotic/steroid eye drops. We were giving him two shots a day of 5 units each of Novolin NPH insulin. We bought a glucose monitor that was calibrated for use in dogs and checked him a minimum of twice a day. His blood glucose readings were still sky high (357 to 450). Each time we checked, they were higher than before. Nine days later we were back in because he had developed a cough. The vet gave him clomipramine, Clindamycn drops, and Prednisolone. Two days after that, he had become so dehydrated, the vet gave him fluid therapy. Three days after that, the vet gave us a liter of saline solution to administer to him at home (100 cc every other day). Six days later, the cough was not any better, but was getting worse. The vet said he had emphysema and gave him Torbutrol tabs and a Depo Medrol injection. That night, he hardly slept at all because he was coughing so much. The next day the vet gave him a shot of Diphenhydramine and Dura Pen/Baytrl/Dexat and Diphenhydramine (Banophen) tabs. We were home for about two hours and the whole time the cough was getting worse and our baby was getting weaker. The vet's office said to bring him back out and they would put him in an incubator with oxygen. When we got there, he was so weak he could only lay in the incubator. But as the oxygen built up, he sat up, got a drink of water, and was whining and crying to get out. As soon as the incubator was opened, he started having serious trouble breathing again. The vet gave him a shot of Lasix, a shot of torbutrol, a shot of a sedative, and a shot of a different steroid. He did not respond to any of the medicines and was still fighting hard to breathe. We could not see him suffer like that so we had the vet administer the "easy sleep" for him. We cannot understand (and neither can our vet) what happened and why he started having all of these problems one after the other. If any one has any suggestions I would really appreciate hearing from them. We have three other Poms (one of them is his half-sister) and really do not want to see this happen to them.

Our vet said it "might be an auto-immune disease," but the next day he said it was allergies. Can someone please tell us how we can protect our 3 remaining Poms from a disease when we don't even know what it is.

We (my boyfriend Travis and I) have lost pets before. The first one was to the poisoned recalled dog food. Gypsy was 6 years old and we had to put her to sleep because her kidneys failed. Champagne the next girl to cross the Rainbow Bridge was 9 years old. We had a dental done on her by this same vet and she never came our of the anesthesia. Our vet told us later that she had an enlarged heart, which he had noted earlier in her file, but because he was also dealing with the office dog dying of cancer, he "forgot to check."

So from the same breeder we have gotten four Poms, and only one is alive now. We are watching her like hawks; even to the point of gently shaking her awake when she's asleep to make sure she is still breathing.

If anyone has any ideas or thoughts, we would be grateful for them.

My reaction to all of this is to want to go to sleep and not wake up again. I miss Cinders so very much. He was my baby boy and my Buddy. I promised him that everything would be okay, that mommy would make him better, and now I've failed him. I am almost afraid to hold and play with the other dogs, because I'm afraid I'll kill them too.

All the other pet losses throughout my life have felt different. This one HURTS so much, both inside and out. There are days when I feel like the pain is just unmanageable and will never get any better.

[moon_beam]

Hi, Phoenix, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Cinders. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our companions at great sacrifice to ourselves so that they can be restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.

Phoenix, this grief journey is one of the most painful experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time sometimes one moment at a time for you are now on a journey that is filled with all the first withouts and the memories that can be all too painful right now that include this time yesterday, last week, last month, last year to endure. It is a journey that includes many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time and that haunt and torture our hearts and minds while trying to reconcile all the whys, what ifs, and if onlys.

Sometimes a veterinary autopsy (called a necropsy) can shed light on a reason for a beloved companion's physical loss. As with human medicine, though, they can raise more questions than provide answers. From what you share with us there appeared to be multiple medical challenges that your beloved Cinders was coping with which eventually led you to the very unselfish decision of releasing him from his frail, failing physical body - - which was the only way you could keep your promise to him that you would make things all better. I promise you, Phoenix, that your beloved Cinders is eternally grateful to you for everything you did for him during his earthly journey, and is forever blessed to have you for his Forever Mom. I hope in time as you travel your grief adjustment journey you will find peace in your heart.

Also - - as with human medicine - - sometimes it is helpful to acquire a second opinion from a different veterinary practitioner when there are health challenges that do not seem to respond to prescribed treatment. This is not a sign of a lack of confidence in the primary veterinary care provider - - but sometimes an examination from a different veterinary provider can offer insight from experience and training. Perhaps you could get a copy of your beloved Cinders' records and request an independent review of them so that if there are any genetic / breed problems associated with his multiple health issues you and your veterinary care provider will be able to provide the necessary specialized care your precious companion may need.

As painful as this grief journey is in adjusting to the physical absence of your beloved Cinders, there is one thing that will never change - - the love bond you and your beloved Cinders share. Love is eternal, Phoenix - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Cinders' sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey as he always has and always will - - for he is always and forever a part of your heart and memories - - he is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I know all too well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep grief there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the searing pain of sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Cinders with us, Phoenix. Perhaps sometime you will feel up to sharing a picture of him with us - - but only when / if you want to. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Phoenix, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[LittleGirl's...]

Dear Phoenix,

I'm so very sorry for the physical loss of your precious Cinders!

You did NOT kill Cinders, nor did you fail him in any way. You and Travis did everything humanly possible! I like what moon_beam wrote: "I promise you, Phoenix, that your beloved Cinders is eternally grateful to you for everything you did for him during his earthly journey, and is forever blessed to have you for his Forever Mom."
I hope you will take that to heart.

If you feel up to it, please let us know how you are doing.

Sending prayers of peace,

Kathy