Feeling Devastated Options

[AugustusS]

Hey I sent you a personal message saying how sorry I am for your loss. Heartbreaking.

[Princessmommy]

Hi Augustus,

Yes thank you I did see your email an did reply to it. I'm not sure if you are going to able to receive it or not because I see that this site is having problems with the private emails that we sent. I just reply back today so let me know if you did receive it or not. Again thank you for taking the time to read an offer just a few words to me that means a lot to me. hope your doing well an don't forget that I'm here if you need a friend to talk to.

hugs to you,

~ Mayra

[Princessmommy]

Hi baby girl,

Here I'm again alone in my own grief without anyone caring of how I'm feeling. Today is been 4months in this exact same day I lost you due to that horrible accident that I will never forgive myself. How can I ever leave you outside that night an just take off without knowing where you were first. How terrible mother I'm if only that night I didn't take you outside I still remember when I told you on that last day princess baby go outside an I remember you didn't want to go so you turn around an left to my room how cute was that my little girl. I felt like you already knew you were going to be gone because you never dis this before until that day. I think its true that when people say pets are able to know when its going to their last day on earth. I'm also hurt because ever since that day happen I was not able to say good-bye to you mommy was in a complete shock an didn't kbow how to react an what to do so that's why I was not able to save you. I still remember how I found you that night I know its tramatic for me to even say it but I just can't help it I wish I was able to repair your little eye so that you were been able to be ok. Baby girl you don't know how much mommy misses you an needs you by her side. it seems like since everyone has seem to have forgotten that today is your Anniversary an the only one that remembers it is me. I wish I was able to so something special for you today but I'm just dying an hurting in my own grief that is srill so painful for me to react at this present time.

Baby girl I hope that one day you are able to forget mommy for all this you knew mommy didn't want this to happen to you. When I found you that night I couldn't help but to immediately start crying. I didn't care what they told me I was crush an all I wanted was not for you to leave because you were my first baby girl with you I learn what unconditional love is an I thank you for that sweety. I'm so sorry that I'm not writing to you daily like everyone else is doing for their babies, but you know that mommy is still very sensitive an hurt due to your loss. Eventhough I don't write to you that often you know that mommy will never forget you an you will always be in her heart 4ever an ever my little angel princess. I wish their was something to get to bring you back an never leave my site but I know that will never happen. Baby girl please forgive me for not being able to write beautiful words like you deserve but its just so hard at this time. I'm crying at this very moment I feel alone an confuse because I have no one to talk to no one that is able to understand how I'm feeling now I
feel that not even your daddy knows how hurt an devastated I'm each day. I try to come to this website to see if I have some supporters, but it feels likw everyone only replies to those who are similar to them. I don't understand why don't they think others deserve some support as well? all of us in here have lost a pet in our life's so I think everyone is sharing thesame pain an that's why we are here to try to receive that confort an support if not I don't understand why we arecin here in we are not able to understand others in pain its just so hard.

Baby girl I want you to continue to bless Moon beam, monique, Vanaja, Augustus, and love my mickey, Greeta's mom because eventhough I know they are also hurting to they were able to take s few minutes of their times to say some comfort words to me. God bless each of you for having that wonderful heart an allowing me to get to know you guys without even knowing who I was. Princess I just want to let you know that I hope that whereever you are right now you are always thinking mommy an sending her your blesdings because she really needs them right now. She is very devastated an hurt today since today its been 4 months since since I have lost you. Happy 4th anniversary baby princess an just remember that you will always have a special place in my heart. Till we meet again my little angel please keep watching over me an never forget that you have left a family behind that will never forget you. I love you (((((PRINCESS)))))

Take care my angel

love an always

~ Mayra your mommy 💞💞💞💞💞

[moon_beam]

Hi, Mayra, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and sharing your and your beloved Princess' 4 month angel-versary with us. Losing a companion tragically intensifies the grief, so please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal deep grief - - very painful both emotionally and physically, yes - - still very normal. I hope someday you will be able to find a peace in your heart in that your beloved Princess loves you for everything you did for her during her earthly journey - - loving her and giving her a home to call her own, and she is patiently waiting for your appropriate time to join her in eternal joy. For her there is no need to forgive you for what happened was a tragic accident. She knows that if you had the power you would turn back time to that fateful night to change the events that would keep your beloved Princess happy and healthy, and she understands you do not have the power to do this. Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES, Mayra, does your beloved Princess, nor any of us here, think of you as a "terrible mother".

I know from different circumstances what it is like to want to turn back time to change tragic events. Part of what you are experiencing is a form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Hopefully in time the memory of the tragic events that caused your beloved Princess' to leave this earthly realm will ease so that you can begin to focus on the many treasured memories you and your beloved Princess share. No, the memory of that horrible night will never completely disappear, but hopefully in time the memory will not be as painful as it is now.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Mayra, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Princess' sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Vanaja11]

I agree with Moon Beam about the PTSD part. It took me a while to be able to deal with Tommi's death all those years ago. Its hard enough to lose a beloved but to have it happen in such a horrible way and to be left with the image of it in your mind is so very very difficult.

I'm sorry those around you are not supporting you in the way that you need. Know that I understand and you are in my thoughts every day.

[Princessmommy]

Hi Moon Beam,

Thank you very much all your support you been providing me since the first day. Your words are very comforting to me an makes me think a lot of things that bring a lot of peace into my heart. I know you told me in the beginning that you were not a professional of any kind and that you were just a simple person like anyone else that provides support and confort to people in here. But I really think you will make a very good professional because you are very good with supporting people and always have something good to say to someone in grief. if it weren't for you and your kind words I will still be lost and confuse about certain things I know that maybe right now I'm still going through some type of stress disorder or like you call it. But I'm just missing my baby so much right now because I'm actually moving right now to a new house and my heart is so broken because I'm feeling like I'm leaving my baby behind. I really don't want to leave my baby over in the other house and even thought her physical body is no longer their I still feel she was there in spirit with me and now that I left her over there I feel awful. All I want to do is go back to that house and unbury her and bring her ashes with me, but I didn't even get to cremate her all I did was grave her whole body in my back yard. I just feel so broken eventhought I know that is my mother's house, but I still knew my mom didn't like my princess because she always just to throw my baby outside. Has anyone experience this before that they had to leave and old house and is hurt to leave their baby behind because they had to leave to a new one? the reason I feel this way is because my mom is going to rent the property and I think that other people are going to invade my babies space and do other things were she is now resting its just so hard to deal with all this

[Princessmommy]

Hi Vanaja,

I know it is I can't get out of mind the way my little girl died so sad imagine me its my first baby as and losing her in that horrible way its just very disturbing for me. I still remember you told me last time you posted that you also lost one of your babies the way I lost my princess is that right? how are you not able to remember in the horrible way that your baby passed away. I see a lot of people on here that don't need to come here anymore because they feel they don't need it because they either write things in journals for their babies or they only remember her without needing to come here. How can they be so strong when I always need to come here eventhough I feel like I only get support from a few of you at least its good to kbow that theirs still people that care. I really appreciate your words and dedication of your time to respond to my post I hope you have a bless day and don't forget to stay in touch take care.

~ Mayra

[Princessmommy]

My sweet baby girl princess its been a while since I have express words to you but don't think that momma has forgotten about you because she has not. but you know that you will always be in my heart 4 ever eventhought I cannot visit this site as often as I just to you know that your heart will always be close to mine. I'm sorry that I still cannot express more words to you like I should baby girl, but you know that part of my heart went with you the day we lost you. I still cannot recover of the pain of lossing you and I don't think I ever will its just so hard, depressing of knowing that we had christmas and new years eve and you were not able to be with us. What breaks me even more is that you were not able to spend one holiday with us since we only had to be with you for a short period of time. I wish we were able to have spend one holiday together but I know that whereever your little soul is resting right now is no longer suffering like you did the last day you were here in this world. Every day that passes I feel much and much lonely without you eventhough you were only with me for a while me and you became so close and always enjoyed your silly things you did around the house. yOu were always by side wherever i went. WHen i came home you were always at the door waiting for me just to be by my side. my heart is hurting and i'm crying as i'm writing this. bUt baby girl i just had to at least write something to you on here or i think I would go crazy if I don't. I'm so sorry if this words are not as beautiful as other people's write to their babies but at least i'm trying. Please baby girl all i need from you is a sign if you could to know that you are still with me. Every day that passes it just hard for me and I can never forget your beautiful name princess just as the princess that you were. bAby girl i love you more than words can say and i hope that your heart will be close to my heart 4ever. remember that mommy and daddy are always going to remember you and no one is ever going to replace you till we meet again my sweet beautiful baby girl (PRINCESS) love you always <3 <3 <3

sincerely,

your mommy