Has Anyone Else Ever Experienced This? Options

[FinleysMom]

I had to have my dear Finley (7 year old Collie mix) put to sleep yesterday. He had been undergoing recent testing for possible Cushing's Disease, but seemed to be doing ok until yesterday morning. He had a great day on Friday, was energetic and acting very playful and silly. But Saturday morning he suddenly became listless, and refused to eat or drink anything. Test results did show Cushing's, but X-rays that were taken after we arrived at the vet's office also revealed cancer at a very advanced stage throughout his cardiac and abdominal cavities (a very fast growing type). I had no idea that the cancer was there. A tumor that was attached to his heart had burst and filled the sac around his heart with blood, causing the extreme change that morning. I thought that the symptoms were due to Cushing's, and that I would be taking him back home with new medication(s). I didn't expect that I would have to make the decision to say goodbye to him. After looking at the X-rays and talking to the vet (she was so sweet about everything), the decision was made. The last hour at her office, his breathing became very labored and he could barely pick up his head. I stayed with him while she administered the injections, and he peacefully passed away. The worst part for me was just before she gave the first medication that was going to sedate him, I was petting him and telling him how much I love him and that he needed to go in peace, he was wagging his tail like crazy. That just about killed me at the time. But now I am trying to make myself believe that he was trying to tell me that my decision was for the best.

The true reason for my post is to ask if anyone else has experienced strange things following a pet's death. Two experiences have occurred since his death. The neighbors that share my back fence go out onto their back patio to smoke at midnight like clockwork. Their back porch light illuminates my living room, and Finley would bark, every night, at midnight. Last night, I laid down and was trying to go to sleep when I swear that I heard him bark. I sat upright in bed and looked at my clock, it was exactly midnight. I ran out into the living room, thinking that maybe yesterday was just a horrible nightmare, but of course he wasn't physically there. Another thing that he would do was jump up and smack the doorknob on the outside of the back door when he wanted to be let back inside. A little while ago, I was sitting on the couch trying to read (just trying to focus on something else), and I heard that familiar noise when he would smack the doorknob, twice. I opened the door, but again, he wasn't there.

Has anyone else experienced this?

Thank you so much for reading. I am really glad that I found this board.

I will forever miss him,

Finley's Mom

[moon_beam]

Hi, Finley's Mom, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Finley. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Losing a companion so suddenly intensifies the grief.

Finley's Mom, this grief journey is one of the most painful experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey that is filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time - - it is a journey that is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. It is a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time in your own way and in your own time - - for it is a journey that cannot be reconciled in a minute, an hour, a day, a week, a month, or even 6 months - - for you are now on a journey that is filled with all the first withouts and the memories that can be all too painful right now that include this time yesterday, last week, last month, last year to endure.

Please let me try to reassure you that everything you are, and may be, feeling through your grief journey is very normal deep grief, - - very painful both emotionally and physically, yes -- still very normal. And please let me try to reassure you that all the "experiences" you are having of hearing your beloved Finley's bark and paws on the doorknob are absolutely REAL - - I promise you are not losing your mind. Although your beloved Finley is no longer physically with you, his sweet Living Spirit continues to let you know he is always with you. Many of us here, including me, have experienced similiar "visits" from our beloved companions. Hopefully you will find comfort in the moments when your beloved Finley lets you know he is still close to you even though you can no longer see or touch him.

One of the major reasons why this grief journey is so very painful is because we are faced with the overwhelming task of adjusting our lives to the physical absence of our beloved companions. We live in a physically oriented world governed by the five senses of sight, sound, taste, touch, and smell. But there is another dimension to our existence that extends beyond the physical realm, and this is the dimension of love. Love is eternal - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Finley's sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey as he always has and always will, for he is always and forever a part of your heart and memories, FinleysMom - - he is always and forever a heartbeat close to you - - no matter how much time passes as you continue with your earthly journey.

Finley's Mom, I do know so well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep grief there really are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the searing pain of sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Finley with us. Perhaps sometime you will feel up to sharing a picture of him with us, but only when / if you want to. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Finley's Mom, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Mistletoe]