The Night My Beloved Boogie Died... Options

[Pamela S.]

Our cherished Amazon of 25 years, Boogie, passed away on 10/17/13 and I can't stop crying. My husband and I are completely devastated. Even though Boogie was not feeling well recently (the vet diagnosed it as an unspecified liver problem), he continued to behave normally, so his passing was quite unexpected. Whenever he did display any rare signs of illness, he always recovered so quickly that we just thought he would bounce back again as usual. I can count on one hand the times Boogie actually became ill over the past 25 years, but one day this past September he became alarmingly droopy, weak and off-balance, and it took hours for him to return to normal. That's when I took him to the vet and found out there was a problem with his liver. The vet couldn't be sure what the exact problem might have been without further, more stressful tests, which he recommended against, so he simply prescribed some meds for Boogie in hopes that it would clear up whatever was bothering him. There was never a thought that his illness might be life-threatening. In the meantime, it also never occurred to us that our bird was getting older. We just assumed he would be with us for a very long time to come. We've shared our home with many different animals over the years (we just lost a special-needs bunny of 8 years a few weeks ago), but we always assumed Boogie would be the one to outlive them all. I don't even know if I noticed he was slowing down a little bit and sleeping more than he used to. Maybe I just didn't want to notice it. He seemed so happy and normal, and giving Boogie the meds (3 different liquids twice a day) was torturous to both him and me. It was extremely traumatic and he hated it. He would gag and sneeze when I managed to get any down his throat, but most of the pink sticky mess would end up on my clothes, his feathers and the walls, so I decided to focus on his diet and lay off the meds for awhile. I checked online and his symptoms seemed to indicate that he might be suffering with fatty liver disease, so I purchased specially formulated parrot food for him and made sure he had only low protein, low fat, low starch and low sugar fruits and veggies. He had only 2 very minor relapses over the past few weeks, but bounced back almost immediately. Everything seemed to be going well, until he had a more serious relapse that took him over an hour to recover from, but still he returned to normal and we just chalked it up to his liver ailment. I tried one more time to give him some meds, but that was as disastrous as before. On his last day, October 17th, Boogie was up to usual antics, but as late afternoon approached, he seemed to be getting tired and off-balance. By that evening, he was in a full relapse, so I held him in my lap as I had always done in the past until he recovered. As the hours passed, he rallied a few times, and I was definitely worried, but I thought all would be well. I'll never know if it was due to his age or his liver, but my poor little bird just couldn't bounce back this time. He died in my arms late that night.

It was my husband who decades ago wanted a parrot, but for whatever reason, Boogie had bonded with me, so I'm having a particularly difficult time dealing with his death. The bird and I built a very special relationship over the next 25 years that I cannot fully describe in words. He was a part of me. He was my constant companion around the house, and now I just feel an enormous hole in my life. No matter what I did on a daily basis (cleaning, cooking, relaxing...absolutely everything), he was there on my shoulder. When my husband and I argued, my little Boogie was there to soothe my nerves. When we planned an evening out, we had to be home as soon as possible to make sure Boogie didn't have to spend an extra moment in his cage. Our lives literally revolved around our bird, but we loved him so much it was a joy, not a hardship. Boogie had a love/hate relationship with my husband since he was considered an "intruder" by our parrot, but they shared many special moments together as well.

I am overwhelmed by despair at the unfairness of my bird being taken from me, and guilt that I should have or could have done more for him. He was my life and I don't know how to go on without my Boogie.

[moon_beam]

Hi, Pamela, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical losses of your beloved Boogie and bunny. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Losing two companions in a short period of time intensifies the grief.

Pamela, please permit me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal deep grief -- very painful both emotionally and physically, yes, -- still very normal. This grief journey is one of the most painful experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time in your own way and in your own time. It is a journey that cannot be reconciled in a minute, an hour, a day, a week, a month, or even 6 months - - for you are now on a journey that is filled with all the "first withouts" and the memories that may be too painful right now that include "this time yesterday, last week, last month, last year" to endure.

But I promise you it is a journey that you will not have to travel alone, for each of us here do understand what you are going through and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

One of the many emotions we ALL endure during the deep grief is guilt / remorse, and it is one of the hardest of the grief emotions to reconcile. It comes from looking back and trying to reconcile all the things that didn't make sense at the time they were happening, and enduring all the "whys" and "if onlys" that consume our hearts. Pamela, it is very clear from what you share with us that you did everything in your power to give your beloved Boogie a happy, healthy earthly journey. It is my understanding that birds can be stressed very easily, and that stress can be lethal. Your decision to forego his medications in lieu of providing health-needs nutrition could very well be the reason why he did so well with his health challenges. While medications can be helpful, their benefits cannot always be worth the stress and side effects. So please do not berate yourself for not forcing your beloved Boogie to take the medications. I hope someday you will be able to find a peace in your heart that your beloved Boogie knows you did everything in your power to help him, and he is eternally grateful to you.

In the midst of your deep sorrow there is one thing that will never change - - the eternal love bond you and your beloved Boogie share - - for love is eternal - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Boogie's sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey as he always has and always will - - for your beloved Boogie is always and forever a part of your heart and memories - - he is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I know all too well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep grief there really are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the seering pain of sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Pamela, thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Boogie with us. Perhaps sometime you will feel up to sharing a picture of him with us - - but only when / if you want to. Please know you and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers, Pamela, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Pamela S.]

Dear moon_beam,

I most sincerely appreciate and thank you for your extremely kind and thoughtful words. This is indeed the most painful loss I have ever had to face in my entire life. I think what is all the more worse is that Boogie was my sanctuary. Whenever I needed to escape from the world for awhile, I only had to go into Boogie's room, shut the door and my bird and I would watch old movies on TV. Now, however, the one thing that could help me cope is the very thing that is gone. I avoid Boogie's room at all costs since the only thing that will greet me is a big, black empty cage. My sanctuary is gone forever and I feel completely lost.

[moon_beam]

Hi, Pamela, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please permit me to try to offer you some words of comfort and encouragement.

We live in a physically oriented world governed by the five senses of sight, sound, taste, touch, and smell. When our companions come into our lives, our lives are changed for the better. They literally become the center of our universe in our daily routines as they are totally dependent upon us for their every need - - food, health care, emotional nuture, etc.. When they precede us to the angels our lives are changed again - - we are faced with the incredibly painful task of "re-inventing" our lives and daily routines that no longer include the physical - - and emotional - - needs of our companion. Unfortunately, Pamela, there is no easy way to navigate this grief adjustment journey. One of the things that many people have found helpful is holding something that belongs only to their beloved companion when the physical ache to hold their companion is more than what their heart can bear. I have slept with my beloved companion's collar under my pillow, and when the deep sorrow was extremely overwhelming I would hold a blanket or toy - - something - - that only belongs to them to help bridge the emptiness of holding them in my arms. No, it isn't the same - - but it did help me - - and others - - and it might help you through the very difficult moments as well.

It's perfectly okay that you do not go into your beloved Boogie's room until YOU are ready, Pamela - - for however long that will be. It is vitally important that you find healthy ways to release your sorrow, for the stress of grieving does take a toll on our physical bodies which can cause physical illnesses. And I promise you, Pamela, it will not always be this way. But until you are able to have more better days than difficult ones, please know we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Pamela, and that you will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Boogie's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Pamela S.]

Dear moon_beam,

The night Boogie passed, my husband and I desperately tried to removed the small steel ring from his leg that was placed there by the breeder when he was a baby. It was just too difficult, so we decided to wait until we brought his remains to the vet's office for cremation and ask if they could remove the ring for us. They were kind enough to do so and I now keep the ring with me at all times, but I find it more sad than comforting. It just reminds me of Boogie's sweet little bird legs and his adorable little bird feet that I'll never see again.

My husband tried his best to be supportive over the past few days since Boogie died, but he's reverted to his own way of handling stress and sadness. He's a drinker and when he's had a few shots, he doesn't always say the most appropriate things. It's at those times that I miss Boogie the most. He was definitely my security blanket and now that he's gone, I feel completely alone when my husband is acting like a jerk.

I still haven't been able to return to "normal" life yet. I used to love cooking, but that was something I shared with Boogie. I can't even look inside the fridge without thinking of my bird and the treats he loved to eat. Every corner of our house is a painful reminder of Boogie. There have been times over the past week when I couldn't bear to spend one more minute at home, so my husband and I would go for a drive, but then while we were out the thought of having to return to our dreadfully quiet, bird-less house would just haunt me.

At this point, I still can't believe Boogie is gone and I'm feeling rather numb.

[kmariebanks]

I am sorry to hear about the passing of Boogie. my prayers are with you and your family. I lost my boy of 10yrs on Monday 10/28. Boots was more than just my cat he was my world, my companion, my everything so I understand the bond you had with Boogie that can't be described in words. The support group is helping me and I pray it helps you as well. I understand the emptiness you feel and I pray with each passing day our hearts will learn to heal. We are all here for you. You do not grieve alone. * hugs to you from me and my family* be strong and I promise to be strong with you. love Ke & my baby who will always be with me Boots

[moon_beam]

Hi, Pamela, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal deep grief when you share with us: "I still haven't been able to return to "normal" life yet. I used to love cooking, but that was something I shared with Boogie. I can't even look inside the fridge without thinking of my bird and the treats he loved to eat. Every corner of our house is a painful reminder of Boogie. There have been times over the past week when I couldn't bear to spend one more minute at home, so my husband and I would go for a drive, but then while we were out the thought of having to return to our dreadfully quiet, bird-less house would just haunt me. At this point, I still can't believe Boogie is gone and I'm feeling rather numb."

When we are in deep grief our bodies go into "survival mode" - - hence the numbness you are feeling right now. It takes time for your mind and body to process the trauma of your grief. Eventually the numbness will ease as you progress in your grief adjustment journey.

I am so sorry your husband is not as supportive as you need him to be. But please know each of us are here for you through every step of your grief adjustment journey for as long and as often as you need us.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Pamela, and that you will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Boogie's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Pamela S.]

I am sorry to hear about the passing of Boogie. my prayers are with you and your family. I lost my boy of 10yrs on Monday 10/28. Boots was more than just my cat he was my world, my companion, my everything so I understand the bond you had with Boogie that can't be described in words. The support group is helping me and I pray it helps you as well. I understand the emptiness you feel and I pray with each passing day our hearts will learn to heal. We are all here for you. You do not grieve alone. * hugs to you from me and my family* be strong and I promise to be strong with you. love Ke & my baby who will always be with me Boots

I'm deeply sorry to hear of the recent loss of your Boots, and thank you for your kind thoughts regarding my Boogie. For the amount of love and joy our companions brought to our lives, their time with us seems much too short.

[Pamela S.]

Dear moon_beam,

Thanks so much for allowing me to vent. Though I have family and friends who sympathize, the only person who truly understands the loss of Boogie to me and who was there when Boogie joined our lives is my husband, Neil. I turned 50 this year and both Boogie and Neil have been with me for exactly half my life. Neil loved our bird too, but even he admits Boogie and I had a special bond. Unfortunately, Neil can't handle grief at all. He prefers to "drown his sorrows" instead of dealing with them. I made the mistake of mentioning to him how painful it is to live in a house that is a constant reminder of Boogie, so now he is pressuring us into moving. I don't think this is the right time for such a drastic upheaval, but he just doesn't want to listen.

It's only been 2 weeks since Boogie passed, but it feels as if I've been mourning him forever.

[Gretta's Mom]

Oh Pamela

My heart is sorrowing with you at the passing of your dear, darling Boogie. Twenty five years is the better part of a lifetime. After losing two dogs after only a few years together, I cannot imagine what a loss after a love-life of twenty five years together must be like. Please know that the many many people here on Lightning Strike are all sorrowing with you.

Pamela, it's only been two week since you received the shock of your life. You're in the shock-and-awe period - when you feel like someone has taken a high-powered rifle, aimed it directly at your heart and shot it to pieces. During this horrible time there are really only two states your heart can be in - suffering the unbelievable pain of being totally shattered - or - collapsing with numbness because your body and soul can only stand so much pain.

This terrible period can seem interminable, every minute like and hour, every day like a year. You have absolutely NO task that you HAVE to do during this time except to keep exhaling after you inhale - that's all. Anything else is a heroic extra. This suffering will ever so slowly lift. You won't even notice it. And while it is still with you, please take extra special care of yourself. Move slowly. Rest. Cry. Curl up in a ball. Anything you have to do to protect yourself.

We grieve in proportion as we love - and your suffering, even though it cannot even be described to someone who has not been through such a loss - also shows how deep your love for Boogie is - NOT "was". Boogie is still alive in the universe - but now as a spirit. He can see you, hear you, perch on your shoulder, watch over you, and most importantly, keep on sharing the love you two have always shared. But we people,, when we cannot see or heer or feel or otherwise sense something say it does not exist. This is NOT true. You and Boogie are universal soul-mates - shsaring parts of each others' souls. When Boogie went back home to the Perfect World from which he came, he took with hima piece of your heart - and he left you a piece of his. it is, as you said, absolutely true - there IS a hole in your heart. It is the piece that Boogie took with him and will nourish and cherish forever. You have a piece of his soul in you to nourish and cherish, too. And someday, when you enter the spirit world, you will be united with Boogie and will exchange the soul-pieces and be whole once again - this time forever - without end.

Some people say the sadness and grief is gradually replaced with happy memories, but if this is true I am here to testify that it must take a whole lot longer than three years - the time since I lost my Gretta - the kindest chocolate lab who ever lived. Meanwhile all your Lightning Strike brothers and sisters are here to care for you and encourage you - to listen when you need to talk, to understand when you need to rage, to wipe away your tears when you remember dear Boogie and miss his with all your heart, to share stories of their beloved soul-mates and to join hands with you in a circle of very special people - those with animal soul-mates.

Please don't make any hasty decisions during this time of crisis, Pamela. Especially major one about moving. It's WAY more than you can physically do right now. Some people say to wait for at least a year before making a major change. I believe that. And, like MoonBeam says, there is absolutely NO need to change a thing in Boogie's room right now. I still have my dog's food-and-water station set up, and the basket of their toys is still where it ever was. Their big orthopedic dog bed is still in the living room covered with quilts. Even then snow sweaters and dog boots are still in their box in the closet.

Thank you for sharing Precious Boogie's life with us. It is an honor for all your Lightning Strike brother and sisters to share him and his life with you. Write anytime about anything - big or small. Everyone here knows the suffering and everyone is loving and supportive to our LS brothers and sisters.

Blessings to you and your husband ... and Boogie in the Perfect World.

Gretta and Rufus's mom

[moon_beam]

Hi, Pamela, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I can so understand how difficult it is for you to be in a place that is a constant reminder of the physical absence of your beloved Boogie. Scientific studies prove that each living being has an energy, and when this physical energy is no longer present -- for whatever reason - - the entire family unit goes through a very painful adjustment - - a "re-ordering" of daily routines. The sound of silence from the loss of the energy of a loved one is deafening - - and it is almost as if the physical structure of the house itself is grieving.

Sadly this is a part of the deep grief adjustment journey - - adjusting to the "new reality" of not having the physical presence of your beloved Boogie with you. As Gretta's Mom has so comfortingly shared with you, please let me try to affirm her counsel: "Please don't make any hasty decisions during this time of crisis, Pamela. Especially major ones about moving. It's WAY more than you can physically do right now. Some people say to wait for at least a year before making a major change. I believe that." Some people do find it helpful to find another place to live when the memories of staying are too painful. But I do want to caution you to not rush into making a major decision such as this at this time. Please give yourself an opportunity for your deep grief to ease.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Pamela, and that you will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Boogie's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Pamela S.]

Dear Gretta's Mom,

Your reply really touched me deeply. Thank you so much for taking the time to respond. I know everyone here has suffered the loss of their wonderful animal companions. Please accept my sympanthies for the passing of your Gretta and Rufus. You are correct that it does seem like a lifetime after 25 years. I look back at all the changes that have occurred over that time and how Boogie was there every step of the way. It's overwhelming to say the least. My husband and I do feel a continuing sense of shock and disbelief that he's gone. We never had children, so my husband has been saying lately that Boogie was our son. Since he could communicate with us and required constant attention, Boogie really was like a feathered 2-year-old child who just never grew up. Without a doubt, this is the worst personal tragedy we have ever experienced.

[Pamela S.]

Dear moon_beam,

Thanks for your shoulder. Looks like I'll need it for awhile longer. We can temporarily distract ourselves from the pain throughout the day with work or television, but of course as you know it all comes flooding back eventually. Neil is able to reminisce about Boogie, but I still can't think about the "good times" yet. As of now, I'm unable to shake the terrible image of Boogie dying in my arms.

[Pamela S.]

Bad day...I had to go into Boogie's room since that was also my office. I've been avoiding it for the past few weeks since that's where Boogie died, but I had to do some work today. I'm sitting in his room right now, typing this and looking at his empty cage. My heart is breaking.

[moon_beam]

Hi, Pamela, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I can so imagine how difficult it is for you to be in your office room without your beloved Boogie's sweet physical presence to keep you company. This is a HUGE adjustment indeed. It is important that you do what you need to in order to ease the stress of being back in your office room - - for this is one of the many "first without" adjustments in your grief journey.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Pamela, and that you will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Boogie's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Pamela S.]

Hi, Pamela, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I can so imagine how difficult it is for you to be in your office room without your beloved Boogie's sweet physical presence to keep you company. This is a HUGE adjustment indeed. It is important that you do what you need to in order to ease the stress of being back in your office room - - for this is one of the many "first without" adjustments in your grief journey.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Pamela, and that you will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Boogie's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thanks to you, moon_beam, for your continuing support. I can't stop thinking about the day Boogie passed. It keeps replaying over and over in my mind, along with "if only". I find myself weeping and apologizing aloud to Boogie for not noticing how ill and how old he was. "If only" I had known. He was on my shoulder begging for treats as usual, but I explained to him that he couldn't have any "people" food. Now I look back and wish I would have given him a little treat from my plate. When he lay sick in my arms that night, there are so many things I would have done differently...if only I had known...

[moon_beam]

Hi, Pamela, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Indeed, during the deep grief the "if onlys" are like a piercing sword in our hearts. Scientific studies show that our brains "record" events like videos. When we experience a traumatic event - - and the physical loss of a beloved companion qualifies as a traumatic event - - our brains not only record the event but also in an attempt to try to "make sense" of what happened - - continuously replays that event - - which are called "flashbacks". This is often seen in situations such as victims and survivors of 9/11/2001, veteran battle fatigue, victims of criminal acts, victims of war, etc.. The clinical name for this is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Because of a major traumatic event in my life several years ago, I sought the assistance of a professional counselor. He helped me to understand what was happening to me, and because of his wise counsel he helped me develop skills to cope with the effects of PTSD. It takes time and a concerted effort to develop these skills, but they do work for many people, and hopefully will also help you now.

In order to "break the chain" of replaying the events of your beloved Boogie's passing, you will need to purposely redirect your thoughts to something more pleasant when you begin to have "flashbacks". I know this will not be easy to do, but it does help. Does this mean you will forget the night your beloved Boogie joined the angels? No - - but working on "breaking the chain" of the flashbacks will help to desensitize the trauma of your memories so that you will eventually be able to focus on the many wonderful memories you and your beloved Boogie share.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Pamela, and that you will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Boogie's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Pamela S.]

Dear moon_beam,

Thanks for the advice. It turns out I had no choice but to "break the chain". I ended up catching pneumonia somehow, so I've been stuck in bed for the past several days just trying to recover. I'm still under the weather, but now that I'm starting to get up and about, I find it extremely difficult to think about Boogie. I can look at something of his (such as his perch, which is still sitting in its usual spot in the kitchen) without breaking down, but if I actually think about what it is, I completely lose it. Life sort of came to a halt the day Boogie passed, so I find myself counting the weeks from that point. It's only been 4 weeks, but it feels like an eternity.

My husband had suggested a few days after Boogie's passing that we might one day consider getting another bird. I know he was only trying to help, but he knows that we could never find a bird as special as Boogie. It took years for us to develop our relationship with him and vice versa. Even if we actually considered trying to find another parrot at some point in the future, there's no guarantee that it would bond with either one of us the way Boogie did. I think the worst part though is that we're both in our 50's now, so we would be in our late 70's or even older by the time a new bird reached its average lifespan. When we thought Boogie would live for many many more years, one of my greatest worries was what would become of him if Neil and I passed before our beloved Boogie. (Neil's greatest worry was what would happen if I passed before he did since Boogie had bonded with me and there was no way he could take care of Boogie.) Even if another bird only lived to 25 years, I could never go through that kind of heartbreak again. It's too unbearable. That's really what makes the loss of Boogie so completely devastating for me. We'll never again have the joy of a parrot in our lives, so it's really the end of an era for us.

[moon_beam]

Hi, Pamela, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and I hope you will continue to feel better and stronger each day.

I can very much relate to how you're feeling when you share with us: "Even if another bird only lived to 25 years, I could never go through that kind of heartbreak again. It's too unbearable. That's really what makes the loss of Boogie so completely devastating for me. We'll never again have the joy of a parrot in our lives, so it's really the end of an era for us."

My precious feline companion, Noah, is my sole surviving companion in a household that used to have four furkids including Noah. In December 2006, my beloved number one kitty son Eli (and Noah's adopted big kitty brother) joined the angels at 6 years of age due to end stage Lymphoma, on Thanksgiving weekend 2009 my beloved Black Lab Oslo joined the angels at 15 years of age due to a sudden stroke, and in March 2010 my beloved beautiful kitty girl Abbygayle (and Noah's sibling sister) joined the angels at 6 years of age due to end stage Fibrosarcoma. My precious Noah is 10.5 years old, and in the past year he has survived two major life-threatening events - - September 2012 he underwent emergency surgery for what turned out to be a twisted intestine - - and last week he experienced a severe insulin-shock hypoglycemia event which required intensive ER care. And -- because of my older years (which I am significantly older in years than you and your husband) and physical challenges that continue to degenerate over the years, my precious Noah will be my last furchild companion. Like you, when my precious Noah joins the angels it will bring a MAJOR change and adjustment to the remainder of my earthly journey.

Part of our responsibility as caregivers of companions is accepting the "reality" of our abilities to properly take care of another life. Our companions are TOTALLY dependent upon us for their every need - - and this is a responsibility as caregivers of our companions that we do not take lightly. Adopting a companion after a physical loss is a very personal decision, and only you and your husband will know what decision is RIGHT for YOU.

For me, even though my precious Noah will be my last companion, I know I will be blessed with the company of the wildlife. And although you and your husband may elect to not embrace another companion into your lives, perhaps your beloved Boogie will show you a way to engage your interests for the wildlife in your area - - or perhaps fostering a homeless waif until they find a new Forever Home - - or volunteering with rescue organizations. But WHATEVER you decide, Pamela, will be the RIGHT decision for you and your husband.

I can also very much understand how you are feeling when you share with us: "Life sort of came to a halt the day Boogie passed, so I find myself counting the weeks from that point. It's only been 4 weeks, but it feels like an eternity." Please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal. When our companions come into our lives, our lives are changed for the better. They literally become the center of our universe. When they precede us to the angels, our lives are changed again and we measure EVERYTHING in our lives from that experience during the deep grief because the deep grief is so very, very painful. But from first hand experience I promise you that one day the deep grief will ease and you will once again be able to embrace the joy of the memory of your beloved Boogie's earthly journey with you. Certainly there will always be a void in your and your husband's lives without the physical presence of your beloved Boogie - - BUT the intensity of the sorrow will ease, and this is what your beloved Boogie wants for you.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Pamela, and that you will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Boogie's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[JuliaSC]

Bad day...I had to go into Boogie's room since that was also my office. I've been avoiding it for the past few weeks since that's where Boogie died, but I had to do some work today. I'm sitting in his room right now, typing this and looking at his empty cage. My heart is breaking.

This just made me cry again.. This is exactly how I feel about my cat, his favorite chair is empty. I have only 1 bowl of food on the floor instead of 2. His favorite toy is laying in the corner. What kills me the most is the big cat house/carrier I've got them for our future move. I thought it's the best for them to be in 1 carrier because they love each other and would feel better being together during the road trip. The last picture of my cat was the picture of him sitting in his new carrier. Now I have this huge carrier and 1 cat, the brother of my lost/possibly dead cat.