I Lost My Baby Girl Today Options

[Russ]

Today I had to say good-bye to Sarah my first and only dog I've ever had. I got her as a puppy from the humane society in 1998. She has been more than I've ever dreamed a dog could be and by having no children of my own she was my baby girl. It has been just me and her living alone for the past seven years. I can't believe I won't see her anymore. I've been grieving for the last year knowing I was going to lose her. I've cried and cried many, many times but nothing prepared me for the crippling emptiness I have inside now. I miss her so much and I told her I was sorry again and again. The medicine she was taking wasn't working anymore and this morning she was yelling in pain and I couldn't stop it any other way but to rush her to her vet. It was a horrific experience to see her go and I want my baby girl back. I'm almost 50 years old and have been divorced from my wife for 7 years and now I'm alone. I LOVE YOU SARAH Daddy loves you so much baby girl.

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[TaraG]

Russ -
I'm so sorry for your loss. I had to let my dog Vienna go exactly a week ago and am still heartbroken. Like you, it was just her and me for just over 8 years. The house seems so dark and lonely even though it had previously been my refuge and place of renewal and happiness with Vienna. Like Sarah, even though Vienna was only 9 and had a sudden unexpected illness, there was no choice but to have her put to sleep. I can tell you that even though the grief lasts, the horror and chaos of that decision fades. Just last night, I had a dream that I was holding Vienna tight and she was happy. Even though I thought today would be horrible, I've felt more ok than I have rest of the week because the idea that I did the best, most loving thing I could for Vienna has started to sink in. I still miss her tremendously and it takes my breath away when I approach my door expecting her to greet me as she always did.

I had to put my previous dog Keith to sleep before igot Vienna. Now I only have good memories of him and I know this will come for Vienna in time. By the way, I'm also getting ready to turn 50 later this month. I expected to have Vienna here with me and age is no protection from this pain.

All I can say is that the people who understand unconditional love will understand and support you through this pain. I know it feels unbearable and like you can't go on. But the people on this site have helped me get through the same feelings and I hope they can do the same for you.

Take care, Tara

[moon_beam]

Hi, Russ, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Sarah. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our companions at great sacrifice to ourselves so that they can be restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.

Russ, this grief journey is one of the most painful experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey that is filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time - - it is a journey that is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. It is a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time, in your own way and in your time for it is now a journey that is filled with all the "first withouts" and the memories that right now seem all too painful that include "this time yesterday, last week, last month, last year" to endure.

But as Tara has so comfortingly reassured you, please let me add my reassurance that it is a journey you will never have to travel alone, for each of us here truly do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

When we know our companions have chronic / serious health challenges we find ourselves in a journey that is called Anticipatory Grief. This is similar to the post-loss grief journey except that our companions are still physically with us, and we do everything that is in our power to keep them happy and comfortable and healthy as their medical situation permits. But you are so right that NOTHING in heaven or on earth can ever prepare us for the moment when our companions transition home to the angels - - and we are left behind to navigate the pain and sorrow of adjusting our lives to their physical absence.

When our companions come into our hearts, our lives are changed for the better. They literally become the center of our universe and everything we do from that moment forward revolves around their physical, medical, and emotional needs. Whenever they lick / kiss us, rub against us, etc., they are literally chemically imprinting themselves on us so that they can identify us from all the other millions of people that inhabit this planet. When they precede us to the angels, we literally go through a physical withdrawal from this chemical imprinting, and it is very painful both physically and emotionally.

But I assure you, Russ, as Tara has, that it will not always be this way. One day when you least expect it you will be thinking of your beloved Sarah and you will find yourself smiling - - truly smiling - - and your heart will warm once again with all the treasured memories you and your beloved Sarah share - - for the love bond you and your beloved Sarah share is eternal, Russ - - it is not dependent upon or restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Sarah's sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey as she always has and always will - - for she is always and forever a part of your heart and memories, Russ - - she is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I know all too well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep grief there really are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the seering pain of sorrow. Still, I hope and pray the words I share with you will be able to offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Sarah with us, Russ. What a beautiful little girl she is, and you are so honored to be her Forever Dad. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Russ, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Russ]

Thank you both so much for your kindness it helps me to focus on the hope I have to be with her again someday. I've been up for 2 straight days now and still am not tired, just in a daze I think. Sarah was the very first and only dog I've ever had and she gave me so much, just so much. My divorce brought an end to our life in the only home that Sarah knew, it was a nice place in the country where she had 3 acres of fenced in yard to play. After me and Sarah moved out we stayed in 3 different places and I got very depressed with all the changes and financial woes. And Sarah knew I was getting worse so that little girl came up to me and demanded I take her for a walk which is something I hadn't done in a long time. But every evening she would get her leash and tell me it was time to walk. And then she didn't want to just walk around 1 block but 2 then 3 and 4 blocks. And then without realizing it she had lifted my depression and then we'd go on 2-3 mile walks at night when it was cool. I always brought a collapsible bowl and bottle of water for her on our walks. Well then last year I bought us our own house and told her this was going to be home. Soon after that her back legs started getting stiff till finally we couldn't take walks anymore. At about the same time I was layed off from my job of 24 years and am still not back to work yet. But being home this past year was a blessing because Sarah needed help to stand and then it got to where she lost too much muscle to even stand so at that point she needed someone around all the time and I'm so glad I could do that.
I then went and bought a good size wagon, filled it with pillows and we were able to take our walks again. And she loved the wagon as she was too weak for the waggin-wheels-chair I got for her but never could use.
But for the last several months she became weaker and couldn't take wagon rides anymore. She had to lay on her side on top of a supportive bed I had for her. That's when the sadness really started to hit me knowing she was frustrated being unable to sit up. Then I've been hand feeding her whatever she wanted and she learned how to drink water from a bottle I placed in one side of her mouth. It is very hard to watch her in that condition, but up to that point the only discomfort she had was when she had to potty and I learned how to help her do that. But this last month she wasn't doing good and her pain increased, I was able to relieve her pain and discomfort with the ultram and tranzene she was on. But at the last I had to give her a lot, a lot of medicine to make her comfortable until Saturday morning the medicine quit working and I had no choice but to rush her to her vet yesterday unannounced. I knew this was coming and have been reeling with deep sadness, regret, guilt and all that for the last few months. Now my home feels cold and I have feelings I can't describe, feelings I've never had before even when I've lost people close to me the pain was not like this. She was my world, my friend that went everywhere with me aside from work. And after-work I'd dash home to her cause that's where I wanted to be. She never bit anyone or done anything wrong. When I had to work over and was gone from the house for 13-14 hours she'd hold it in until I'd get home even though I laid down pads and showed her they were there for her to use. That's when I realized she had not been drinking any of her water until I got home. That broke my heart and I didn't work over after that. She knew me like no one ever has and we communicated effortlessly. I'm sorry for going on and on I just want her so bad just to hold her. I miss her so much and it's only been a day, I fear how much more I will miss her as time goes on. Thanks to all of you very much. I Love You Sarah with everything that I am.

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[herculeslove]

I'm so sorry Russ. It's clear how much you loved her, and you obviously took such incredible care of her, I hope that gives you some comfort. The wagon story is beautiful, not everyone would do that and I bet she appreciated it.

I can related to the unbearable void that's left, and I'm sure it's strong in your case because you were SO involved in here life in her later years - taking giving her medicine, buying the supportive bed. I didn't realize until this week just how accustomed I'd become to giving my sweet Meatball insulin twice a day.

I'm thinking of you and can relate to what you're going through.

[CritzyJ]

Russ, I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet, Sarah. Almost six weeks ago, I lost my two kitties, Joe (age 20) and Steve (age 15). The bond formed over such long years, as you had with Sarah, is incredible and I, too, know the anticipated grief of knowing the end is drawing near. Like you, my husband and I have no children, so our furry ones ARE our children. These first weeks and months are so difficult. At first I almost felt like I couldn't breathe and like I was moving in slow-motion every day. I can assure you, though, that the pain eases a bit, becomes more bearable. I still feel sadness every day and miss them terribly, think I see them and hear them in the house, think it's time for me to feed them or give them medicine. The triggers are everywhere.

This forum is a very comforting place to be during this time of grief, though. The people here are so supportive and understanding. I've been hanging out here a lot in the past six weeks. We all know what you're going through and will walk along side you.

I hope you will have a restful evening.

CritzyJ

[moon_beam]

Hi, Russ, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and your beloved Sarah's picture. It is very obvious how happy she is to have you as her Forever Dad. All any of us need to do is look into her eyes and the smile on her face to see her eternal love and devotion to you.

Clinical professionals now recognize that the physical loss of a beloved companion is as painful, if not more so, as the physical loss of a human family member or friend, and that the grief journey is identical. Why? Because our companions give to us their unconditional love and undivided attention, and we in turn surrender ourselves to them without hesitation or fear of rejection. They accept us for who we are without reservation or expectations for us to be "better" or "different" or "more" than what we are. They do not care about our social status or financial wealth - - they just want us to love them back - - everything else is a bonus.

So please permit me to try to reassure you that what you are going through is very normal deep grief. It is especially painful during the deep grief as we can literally begin to think we are going out of our minds with sorrow. This is one of the many reasons why it is so important for you to know you are not alone - - to know with confidence that we are here for you, with you, and beside you through every step of your grief adjustment journey.

Russ, I truly wish there were an easier way to navigate this grief adjustment journey, but unfortunately there are no fast forward or delete buttons we can press to speed up the journey make it immediately disappear. Try not to look down the "future road" too much right now but rather focus on taking one day at a time - - one moment at a time - - as what is best for you. And if I may offer a suggestion that has helped many people, including myself: When you feel the deepest sorrow overwhelming you, you may find it helpful to hold your beloved Sarah's collar and leash, a toy, a blanket - - something - - that belongs only to her. For many weeks after each of my companions joined the angels I slept with their collars under my pillow, and when my arms ached to hold them I held the collars in my hands and arms as I cried. It does help to ease the brokenness - - to "bridge" the physical absence until we are strong enough to adjust to it.

Thank you so much for sharing your beloved Sarah with us, Russ. I hope today is treating you kindly and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Sarah's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Doug]

Hello Russ,

I am so sorry to hear about Sarah. From what I have read about you, you must have meant the world to this wonderful dog.

I am struggling with my own loss from Rocket, my cat of 5 years who I had to put to sleep on August 30th. I barely ate the first few days and got sick and rundown from both the grief of his passing but also for the month of taking care of him with a feeding tube diet and all that stress and money worries too, but mostly my fear he would not get better and that I would lose him.

I also can't really explain how empty my life has been these past 10 days or so since I had to give him back to a higher power.

Like you and TaraG (I am sorry for your loss too!) I am about to turn 50 in November and did not plan to be alone and also did not consider I would lose my little buddy so soon. I sometimes feel my other male friends think I am nuts to be as sad as I am about this. But I don't care - I just feel what i need to feel.

I try to give him (Rocket) a voice now, a thought I keep focusing on is if he could talk to me now, how much love for me would he express? The comfort comes from knowing he would share with me those same memories and feelings that I had for him.

They always tell us that pets love us unconditionally, but what they fail to tell us is that often we humans love them just as unconditionally too - remember this when you think of Sarah like I do when I think of Rocket:

The sadness you feel and the loss and grief you are coping with could have easily been lost on another that might have ended up with your beautiful pet and not shown them the kindness and love you did - it is far better to be a person who feels and grieves for these innocent creatures than to be a person who casts them aside by not grieving with the level of pain you are having. This and only this is the reason we found these wonderful souls to take care of - there was simply no other person(s) who could have measured the same loss or the weight of their unique value in the universe besides ourselves. Eventually I think the grief will turn to honor and thankfulness for adding to and enriching our own precious lives and making us better human beings.

I smile and cry at the same time these days because missing him does not subtract the happiness I had for knowing him - it resonates like a ringing bell inside me still and I think it always will.

I share your loss with you (and all of you) and I hope you heal well from this in your own time needed for you to do so.

Best wishes,

-Doug

[LPC]

I am so sorry to read about Sarah and your pain following her passing over. I could lie to you and say that it will soon disappear - but I won't do that. If you really loved Sarah that much (and to me it is obvious that you did) then the grieving period may take quite a while. Just try to live one day at a time, and when you become flooded with grief, immediately try to balance it by thinking of the many happy times you shared - and feel strongly grateful for that happiness. Positive emotions can help the pain.

You say, "I can't believe I won't see her anymore." Please keep your mind and heart open to the possibility that only her physical body has died, and that she is happy and out of pain in another dimension. If you choose to believe that she is still alive, albeit elsewhere, and restored to vigour, then that will give you a lot of comfort. Remember, too, that you gave her the very best of loving care here on earth, and that she is out of pain.

You will meet again in due course. My warmest best wishes to you!

[Russ]

Thank you all so much, hearing that others loved their special ones so much makes me feel better about the state of this world which can seem so cold and uncaring at times. Yes the emptiness I'm feeling is something I've never known. I got to sleep with the help of some medicine last night about 3:30am. I'd been up since Friday night, I just couldn't relax. Sunday I went to visit my parents whom are in their mid 80's and I'm thankful they are still here. They lost their cat of 17-years almost a year ago and they know how bad it is, especially since they know how much I love Sarah. My dad was concerned about me not sleeping and took my blood pressure that was 195/125. So I decided I needed to force my body to rest.

I slept about six hours and my head doesn't hurt as bad. I've never cried so hard as to make my head feel like it was on fire. I stayed at a friends house last night and will tonight also. Their dog came up to me forcing kisses and stayed right beside me the whole time I slept. They said their dog of 12-years has never behaved like this. Their dog knew mine quite well and has never seen me without her. But I feel so much guilt for getting angry at times over the last six months because I didn't know what I could do for Sarah to make her better. I had so much frustration from being powerless to help her. And when she would cry out I fell to pieces and would yell please, please don't, please stop it. I would apologize to her for me not being mature enough to cope with what was happening and I would sleep next to her and hold her. I'm afraid I hurt her feelings. But over time I slowly learned to keep calm and was a better dad. But when she cried out because it hurt to go potty I just couldn't take it and I think back now and see where I was not accepting the situation and just wanted things to be like they used to. And that is now really eating me alive.

I don't know if I was crazy or what but I became so overloaded with emotion during these times of her crying out that I would do things that I now hate myself for. It's hard for me to talk about this but I can only think I was being selfish and would lose it because I didn't want to accept that I was going to lose her. I'm so glad that God must have seen my struggle that he gave me the strength to deal with what was happening and I changed my behavior. Going through the last 6-8 months I was met with so many strong emotions that I'd never had before and being alone during that time worked against me.

I don't know, now I'm very distraught and when I came back home tonight I cried out for her to please come home. I also feel bad about having to put her pictures away because I can't handle it right now. She was on my screen-saver, the wallpaper on my phone and everywhere I look she's there. About a year ago I built her a long ramp off my back porch that has a gradual slope and lined it with guard rails and an anti-skid surface for when she wanted out. Back then I could help her get up and she could walk and do her business. I have so much around me like you guys have described that is hers.

Some people don't understand how much my little girl means to me, but she is a part of me and I did what I needed to do to take care of her. Like during the last month when I would go to the store before I left home I would call my home phone from my cell phone and leave it on so I could hear if she got in a bind while I was gone. For not being able to walk she could maneuver herself into the darnedest places and get herself stuck. Like somehow getting completely under the dresser that I had blocked off with boxes. She would get scared because she trapped herself in and cry out. I'd come home and get her out it and then it all seemed a bit comical and I'd say girl would you please tell me how in the world are you able to move these boxes and squeeze yourself under there.

Anyway thank you so much for taking the time to relate your experiences and wisdom. Things are overwhelming right now and even though I know there are things in life that will happen no matter how much you don't want them to it still seems unreal when it does happen. Russ Noblesville Indiana

[moon_beam]

Hi, Russ, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please let me try to offer you some words of encouragement as you continue in your grief adjustment journey.

From first hand experience I do understand your sincere remorse for the things said and done in a moment of frustration and feelings of inadequacy that later on pierce our hearts like a flaming sword. Each of us find ourselves asking our companions for forgiveness for being "mere mortals". The good news is that our companions DO understand that we are imperfect humans, and unconditionally accept and love us in spite of our imperfections. A moment of venting frustration does not negate a lifetime of devoted love and attention. Your beloved Sarah is now with each of our beloved companions in heaven's perfect garden sharing her story of all the wonderful things you - - her Forever Dad - - did for her during her earthly journey. All the "unpleasant" things are forgotten. Hopefully, in time, your heart will be able to know this and will be able to focus on the many treasured memories you and your beloved Sarah share.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Russ, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Sarah's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[TaraG]

Hi Russ -
Even though I'm still hurting tremendously over losing Vienna, I've thought of you many times and wondered how you're doing. I know how tough it is to walk up to an empty house when it had been filled with everything you shared with your Sarah. I spent several days at my mom's house, like you did, because the loneliness and silence was too much. I think the difficulty of facing an empty house...and maybe even worse, walking in expecting to see your girl happy to greet you and realizing that she's not there (this has happened frequently in the past week since Vienna passed)... Is probably a sign that we haven't yet reached the stage of acceptance. I don't know a lot about grief...but I know that's a step. I guess it just takes time and will hopefully ease the pain. I don't know. It doesn't feel like it could but something has to.

I don't understand why it's so hard right now to remember the good times rather than all the stuff that makes you (and me) feel guilty. But you said some great things about Sarah in several of your posts that shows that you have those memories. And that you went way beyond what most humans would do. I think she couldn't have had a better life. And it just sucks when our best friends get sick or old and there's nothing we can do. But I have to keep telling myself that the bad stuff (which I know is just a natural part of life) was far outweighed by the good stuff. Vienna didn't need nearly as much care as Sarah since she was younger when he passed. But I know I did everything I could to give her a good life. And, like you, I learned the lesson a while ago...before it was too late to make a difference...to always treat her gently and without anger. I think what always mattered most to them was that we were there...even if we were frustrated or imperfect.

I'll just end by saying that I still have moments where I just break down each day because I miss her so much. And some days are much better than others. But I do think it gets incrementally better. The love you had for her will never go away. Unfortunately, that means the grief, which is basically just another name for missing her, never will either. But it shouldn't be so painful at some point. You can miss something without being sad. I'm sure we'll both get there someday. Keep hanging in there. This seems unbearable sometimes but the strength you showed for her will pull you through. At least this is what I'm hoping for both of us.

Take care.
Tara

[CritzyJ]

Dear Russ and Tara,

Just wanted to offer you a little bit of hope during this difficult time. When I lost Joe and Steve six weeks ago, I didn't think I could get through it. I cried so hard I almost couldn't breathe. The knot in my chest felt like it was going to explode. I didn't think it would ever go away and I didn't want it to go away because I thought that it would mean a lost connection between me and my boys.

What I have found recently, though, is that the intense pain does ease up. I'm still sad and still cry a little bit most days (even today), but I am able to think of them fondly. I don't dwell all day about their last days and that final day. The pain and missing them is still there, but it's manageable somehow.

I do have one reoccurring thing, though. I process and process, I work through the grief. I journal. I light candles for them on most days and then all of a sudden I get this feeling like, "Okay, I've worked through this. I'm doing better. Now, it's time for them to come home." Like grieving well should somehow have the reward of my kitties returning to me. And the pain hits all over again. I guess that means that deep down inside there's a part of me still in denial that they're gone.

The one thing I'm not doing is stuffing my feelings away. I lost a precious kitty 13 years ago, grieved for a few weeks and then stuffed all my feelings in a box and moved on. I wouldn't really recommend that as I felt I did lose a connection to him (until he came to me in a dream a few weeks ago with Joe and Steve). I still feel Joe and Steve with me and I intend to continue to keep that connection going because I loved them so completely and they were such precious companions to me for such a long time.

I hope my experience gives you hope that you can get through this. The day will come when you feel like you can do this. And you'll probably cycle back and forth, but the happier times will come. I'm hoping for all of us that those days will come.

CritzyJ

[Russ]

Hearing what you guys (gals) are going through and how you are dealing with it is truly appreciated. Last night I was miserable and though those around me said it'll be ok, I replied that I didn't want it to be ok because I too am fearful that getting past the pain means I'm forgetting her and losing the bond we shared. So hearing that my grief and concerns are not unique does give me comfort. You all have the same intense feeling for your loved ones that have passed on as I have. And I do thank you for relating your personal stories and love in them.
I can relate to not fully accepting what has happened and I found myself talking to Sarah as I normally would day to day. Not really pretending but acting out that she is with me. Like helping her into the truck and asking her if she wants to get a cheeseburger. Doing this is being in denial I guess but it comes from wanting to be with her so badly.
I would love/need to just know she is alright. If she would somehow let me know that she is fine and will be waiting for me to be with her again and forever. It's so hard to try and make sense of how and in what fashion we will see each other again and how our special love will be related one another. I guess the mechanics of it all is out of my hands and out of my grasp of understanding. Still I wish I could see her if only for a moment then I truly think a great weight would be lifted.
I know we all want, need that assurance, and I do believe it comes to us, I just want to be able to recognize it when it comes.
One of the hardest feelings to endure has been one of feeling scared. The empty shaky feeling in my stomach along with a chilling cold that radiates through-out my being. Getting cold feet and wanting to run away from everything and everybody. I've had similar feelings like this before at different times in my life but never at this unbearable intensity. I guess this is what comes from letting the emotions come as they do. I'm just me and have always been an open book because I never understood the act that I've seen some around me put on. That is why this outlet is such a blessing, you all have the same type of love, albeit we are all different but it all amounts to the same thing. Life is no picnic and I am so unbelievably slow to the learn lessons that I feel I should've already known. But now I clearly see how each moment we share when we are with are our unconditional loving angels is a gift from above. I wish there was a different term to use besides pets because they are so much more than that.
To me, my Sarah was/is a teacher, a healer, a companion, a friend who knows me better than I know myself and a guide who helps me overcome obstacles and so much more They give so much more than a person realizes. I guess the best way to describe them is to knowing what they are, Angels. God bless each and every one of you for you are Angels too.

[moon_beam]

Hi, Russ, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I can so relate to how you feel when you share with us: "I never understood the act that I've seen some around me put on." One of the hardest things to do when we are in our deep grief is putting on what I call the "public face." I remember oh so very well the deep gut-wrenching sobbing while I was driving into work and being thankful for the privacy of the restroom where I could retreat to during the day so that I could regain my composure and go back to my desk to resume my work. And then once I was back in my car driving home the floodgates of uncontrollable tears would burst forth once again. While clinical professionals agree that the grief journey for the physical loss of a beloved companion is the same as for the physical loss of a human family member or friend, our society in general - - and sadly some of the people who are closest to us emotionally and geographically - - do not.

And this is one of the many reasons why this wonderful forum is here for us as a safe place where we can come to put aside our "public faces" and share with one another what is in our hearts without fear of reproach.

I also want to reassure you that as your deep sorrow eases you will NEVER forget your beloved Sarah - - for she is always and forever a part of your heart and memories, Russ. Even now in my very older years I can still remember my companions as a very young girl, and even now sometimes there is still a mist that comes to my eyes with the good memories because there will always be a part of me that still longs to be able to hold them again. The good news is that I have the hope of joining them in eternal joy, and this is a comfort to me - - as I hope and pray it will become a comfort to your heart with your beloved Sarah.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Russ, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Sarah's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Russ]

Hi, tonight I'm going to bible study and talk with my pastor afterwards. I am having a very hard time and everyone has helped give me hope of a happy life somewhere down the road. I'll talk to you all soon. Love Russ I Love You Sarah....... so very very much sweetheart.

[moon_beam]

Hi, Russ, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Many years ago I did a Bible study on my own regarding the creation of the animals and their place in eternal joy. I would be very glad to share this with you, if you would be interested. Unfortunately many main stream religious denominations promote the teaching that "heaven is for humans only." I assure you from my personal Bible study this is not true, and hope your pastor is able to give you this reassurance as well.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Russ, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Sarah's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Russ]

Hi, yes talking to my pastor helped some as he thought in heaven we'd be re-united with all our loved ones. But what is really making me feel better right now is a real sense that Sarah is still with me, and that she just isn't limited by her physical body anymore.
I've always kept her yearly dog tag on my key-chain. I've done this for years and years. But yesterday I was at a friends house and went to grab my keys and noticed her tag was gone. I looked around and didn't see it and I wondered how it could've fell off with it being situated between several keys on the key-ring. Well when I got home I looked around the house but didn't see it so I was going to look along the sidewalk for it. Well as I started towards the door there it was, her bronze heart-shaped tag face-up in the middle of the floor. I know it could be a coincidence, and I'd just over looked the tag, but it has given me comfort just the same.
I truly feel my Sarah hasn't left me, instead she is still right beside me better than ever. She always was an angel and she is still teaching her daddy important lessons of life. I think true love is the bond that keeps our loved ones near. Our love for them and their perfect love for us is something that doesn't go away. Take away these physical bodies and what is left is that love which is what comprises our spirit. I know they know love. When I would tell Sarah that I loved her she would look into my eyes and would hold that look for a few moments afterwards, and many times when I said that to her she would walk over and rest her head on me and look up. Yes they know love and nothing, not even death can separate that one perfect circle of love.

[TaraG]

Hi Russ -
That was a beautiful post. It gave me a lift in the midst of a really bad night. I'm glad that you've experienced some things that have given you at least a little peace and comfort. It reminded me that i've had some similar occurrences since Vienna passed. It's easy to get caught up in the physical loss and be unable to see what remains Sarah was clearly an extraordinary dog but thanks for the reminder that our beloved pets were so important to us because they gave as much love, if not more, than they received.

Tara

[LPC]

I truly feel my Sarah hasn't left me, instead she is still right beside me better than ever. She always was an angel and she is still teaching her daddy important lessons of life. I think true love is the bond that keeps our loved ones near. Our love for them and their perfect love for us is something that doesn't go away. Take away these physical bodies and what is left is that love which is what comprises our spirit. I know they know love. When I would tell Sarah that I loved her she would look into my eyes and would hold that look for a few moments afterwards, and many times when I said that to her she would walk over and rest her head on me and look up. Yes they know love and nothing, not even death can separate that one perfect circle of love.

Yes, I quite agree. A wonderful post, Russ! I couldn't have put it better myself. Dogs are often on the higher levels of the astral after passing over. Why? Because they have learned the lesson of unconditional love. Many humans have not learned that lesson yet!

Warmest best wishes to you.