Rip Shadow Options

[BenTolmachoff]

My 11-year-old bicolor cat Shadow disappeared July 4 and we hadn't seen her since. She was old and went through what I presume to be kidney failure last year (did not want to take her to the vet when she was sick; simply getting in the car would have been too traumatic for her how she was), but recovered and I got one more full year with her. I saw this site through a Google search and just wanted to share a few stories and details about Shadow. There will be no rhyme or reason, I'll just simply write about her as thoughts pop into my head.:

• My mom and I took her from Hickman's Egg Ranch in Glendale, AZ in 2002, 3 months after my other cat, Sugar, passed away. She was barely two weeks old and the runt of the litter, but I fell in love with her as a child and since the Hickman's were family friends, they said I could have her. I remember her being so small and afraid of her new environment, but still fed her using an eye drop full of milk.
• She loved to climb and always enjoyed showing off her skills. In my old house, we had two orange trees 15 feet apart from each other, but the limbs connected. When she was a few months old, she decided to try and climb from one tree to the other one day. The branches became twigs, but she tried her best to keep her balance, only to eventually lose her balance, and she hung on to the branch for dear life, even though I was below to catch her if she fell. She climbed back up though and sprinted down the tree. In my current house, she also loved to climb our tree when we were outside. We would go in the pool and encourage her to climb up the tree.She would, and a minute later her head would pop out of the top of the tree. Other times, while barbecuing, she would climb the tree onto the roof of our house and yell out at us for attention. We would praise her, but after she was tired of getting up, she had already forgotten how to get down. It would take 10 minutes of trying to lure her to the fence for her to eventually jump down to safety.
• She loved boxes and paper. If you tossed a piece of paper down on the carpet and tapped it, she would come spiriting from the other side of the house to lay on it. Same with a box. No matter the size, she would try to stuff herself inside and just sit in it.
• She was quite adventurous and even tried swimming one afternoon (involuntarily). She was getting a drink out of our pool, and I quietly opened the door and snuck outside to say hi. I was almost certain she heard me, but when I reached out to pet her, she freaked out and jumped into the pool all by herself. I got in to try and help her as she doggy paddled to the steps, but my mom told me to get out because she would climb up me and rip me up with her claws. She ran across the yard (even stepping on our desert tortoise on the way out), climbed the fence and wasn't seen for a day. She must've been furious.
• Speaking of the desert tortoise, she hated that thing. I'm pretty sure she couldn't pick up a scent when she tried to smell Tootie, but for whatever reason, Tootie was maybe her biggest fear. I'd probably be afraid of a moving rock too, if I was a cat.
• She was incredibly picky. A few years ago I got her addicted to milk. She would scream for it, and wouldn't let up until we finally caved in and gave it to her. Once in a while, we would switch from our normal Fat Free to 1% or 2%, but she simply refused to drink it. She wanted her damn Fat Free and wouldn't stop yelling at us. Eventually we caved in and went to the store, just to shut her up and we've only had Fat Free ever since.
• She hated me when I was a child because I just wanted too much to do with her, and she wasn't having any of that. I was use to my previous cat, Sugar, letting me do whatever I wanted to. She would let me wrap her up in a blanket, put her in my wagon and wheel her around the yard. Sugar just didn't care and was happy. Shadow on the other hand hated humans at first. I rarely was able to pet her and wouldn't come home until she was hungry, only to leave again once we fed her. She eventually warmed up to me and while she was still independent, was much more friendly towards humans.
• We moved from our old house in 2005, and we were nervous about her running away at the new house. Luckily, my neighbor had a cardboard cat carrier she said we could have for the move. Unfortunately, once we got her into the carrier and put the carrier in the car, she freaked out and eventually broke the carrier down and went lose in the car. It was an Expedition, and she scratched my mom and I from head to toe, even cutting some of the stitching in the car. We eventually were able to get out of the car and convinced our neighbor to let us borrow a pastil carrier. We snuck back in, grabbed her, put her in the plastic carrier and forced her to sit in the middle of the living room inside the carrier for a few hours to get use to the scent of the house. She did, and she loved the new house.
• At the old house, she became best friends with a neighbor's cat I started calling Inky. Inky and Shadow were inseparable and you would always see the two together. They even played hide and go seek, with one cat pretending to mind her own business while the other ran off and found a spot to hide. Once the found each other, they would chase each other around the yard and clean each other. It was pretty cute.
• When I was in 8th Grade, I really wanted a dog, but had to convince my parents I could take care of one. I decided to dog sit my friends golden retriever, Goldy, at our house. Despite trying to warm Shadow up to the idea (Goldy was use to cats and didn't mind), she ran off on to the top of the fence and leered at Goldy for the week she was at the house. We moved her food and water bowl to the fence, but she ate food and just watched the dog all day while Goldy was there.
• She hated when I was asleep. My favorite was to be woken up was for Shadow to be let in and jump on my bed. She would sit and cry and cry and cry and cry until I told her to come on, and she would jump up and knead on my back, lick my ear and annoy me until I woke up. Sometimes she would force her way under the covers and would flop around and play there until she fell asleep. But then I had to get up.
• My parents didn't want her on the furniture but I didn't care. There was a few mishaps along the way, but I eventually trained her to only jump on my bed and couch, and jump off when she heard them walking into the room.
• She also loved to knead on my belly when she was younger. I would sit on the floor with my knees up, and she would lay on my stomach, but her tail between my legs and just keep lifting her feet for as long as I would let her. She also would sit in her little bed outside sometimes and knead in her bed all alone.

I could probably go on forever. It's amazing how much I miss her even though I knew she was going to die sooner rather than later. She was on death's doorstep last year and I got to enjoy her personality for one more year than I had originally anticipated. Still, it doesn't make it hurt any less. Shadow was my best friend for 11 years and it's terrible knowing I'll never get to scratch her back again. I'm alright with her running off and dying, but I still just wish I would be able to say goodbye to my friend one last time till we meet again someday. I'll never forget July 2, the last time I truly got to spend time with my girl after I got the weirdest itch to let her in at 11pm and just let her hang out with me while I was on the computer. I almost never let her in that late, but I just felt she should come in, and I'm so glad I did. We had such a good time until she opened my bedroom door with her head and trotted down the hallway to let me know it was time to let her outside one final time. Words can't express how weird it'll be not being woken up by her ever again, or how much I'll miss her eyes staring into the house from the patio door for hours, only to take a lap throughout the house and immediately want back out, just because she knew we would.

I love you Shadow, and rest in peace.

[Gretta's Mom]

Good morning Ben

First, let me extend my deepest condolences at the disappearances of Shadow-The-Cat. Your stories of her were wondeful, heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time. You are one of the lucky people in thw universe who has been found by their soul-mate animal - one whose soul you carry a part of and who carries a part of yours - forever and ever. Soon you will get a message from Moon Beam, the "mother" of this site. She will assure you in much better words than I can that Shadow is still right there beside you - you just can no longer see or hear or touch her. And being creatures of sense - we human (oh so mistakenly) say that means they're "gone." Shadow has gone - shed he mortal shell and once again become a spirit. Now she CAN be two places at once - both by your side watching over you, guiding your steps, teaching you all kinds of lessons about life and fun and love. AND she can also be in the Perfect World - to where we'll all return (if we live right) and where it's always 68 degrees and sunny, with plenty of cool shade, cool water and THOUSANDS of cool friends.

My heart and thoughts are with you today, Ben, as you begin the next phase in your and Shadow's life together.

Blessings,

Gretta's mom

[moon_beam]

Hi, Ben, please permit to add my sincerest sympathies in the disappearance of your precious Shadow. I know from first hand experience the sorrow you are feeling not knowing where she is and what has happened to her. I feel your heartbreak in the realization that she may now be with the angels since she has not returned home after several days.

As Gretta's Mom has so comfortingly shared with you, please let me try to reaffirm her words of wisdom: The love bond you and your precious Shadow share is eternal. It is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Even though your precious Shadow is not physically present with you, her sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey just as she always has and always will. She is forever a part of your heart and your memories, Ben, - - she is forever a heartbeat close to you.

Thank you so very much for sharing your precious Shadow with us. From the pictures you have shared with us it is obvious you and your precious Shadow share a very special bond with one another. One of the things you need to remember is that you are among friends here who truly do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Ben, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam