Poisoning, death of my beloved cat Leonine Options

[corinnajane]

It is almost a year now since my boy cat died. He was poisoned. I am very, very upset about it.

The hospital tried to save him but it was no use. And the staff were amazed at how gentle and friendly he was. Even though he was in agony, and dying, he still kept trying to make friends and cuddle people.

I got a lovely lady vet to come and help put him down at home. And I know I did the right thing.

But it really hurts.

Attached image(s)

 

[janika]

Dear Corinnajane

Your darling Leonine is such a handsome boy. I am so sorry that you had to lose him in that way. It was good that your lady vet was gentle and understanding, that would make so much difference to you both.
Thankyou for sharing your photo with us and please maybe tell us more about your precious Leonine. I send my thoughts and prayers to you as you approach his first years Angelversary.

Hugs
Jan and my Angels and Pixie x

[rainbohdi]

i am so sorry you lost you beloved leonine, it is a heartbreaking thing and him being poisoned sounds like a horrible time for him and for you to have to witness as well.

he looks like a really handsome boy in that photo and also a gentle soul.

because they are such a massive part of our lives, they leave a massive hole when they die. over time i guess the best we can do is try to fill that hole full to the brim of good memories of our loved one. that's why janika's idea to write more about him sounds great.

take good gentle care
rainbohdi

[moon_beam]

Hi, Corinnajane, please permit me to add my sincerest sympaties in the loss of your beloved Leonine. Losing a beloved companion is never easy, but losing them to a tragic event adds to the burden of our grief.

Corinnajane, I hope you have been able to find some comfort and support during this year. Please know you are among friends here. We are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

Thank you so o much for sharing your precious Leonine with us. We are here for you to share whatever is in your heart and on your mind, Corinnajane. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please do let us know how things are going whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[corinnajane]

Hi everyone,

Please, do call me CJ! And thank you for your kindness. It seems that, the closer it gets to the anniversary of his death, the worse it feels.

I feel bereft.

And that is sad, because I have my four little darlings to look after and I must keep going because of them... Of course, they look after me, too.

I have always had cats, since I was a little girl. I think they are such beautiful creatures and kind souls. It is like living with a work of art... That talks back to you!!!

I found Leonine as a young lad in a box in the library. It was nearly 40 degrees, and some mongrel dumped him in a box in the foyer. No water, no food, nothing. Anyone could have come along and kicked the box. I opened it up (being quite brave as this was the time when everyone was scared of terrorism threats), and he popped his little head out. He said, "Hello, I love you!" and smiled the way that cats smile.

It was pretty much the way he treated everybody, his standard greeting... He was such an angel.

I had a very old and sickly cat at home, and I didn't think that I should really keep him, as kittens and elderly cats are a bad mix. I decided to take him to the animal shelter... But I had an appointment first so I took him in with me.

The appointment was with a counselor, as I had just been told by some doctors that I was very sick indeed. I have to be honest, at that time I was suicidal. I put the little baby on my lap.... And proceeded to have so much fun that I couldn't be bothered whining about my problems anymore. After playtime, he put his little head on my chest and collapsed fast asleep. He completely trusted me. I realized that he was making me feel better... And that I could not give him up.

I took him home, and we did have our ups and downs with my other cat... He developed into a giant boy, with sensational, soft, buttery fur that smelt divine. The older he got, the more caring and calm he became. He adored me and would always follow me from room to room. I stopped feeling so sad, because I could always count on him to be there. Every time I was ill, or sad, he would come and cheer me up. And my friends all loved him, because he would run to the door to greet anyone and everyone. He tried to kiss everyone!!!

I feel so sad that he suffered. He was only eight. He never deserved to have that happen to him.

I just have this awful feeling that, if I was really such a great pet-owner, he would never have become poisoned.

[corinnajane]

Half-starved when I brought him home.

Attached image(s)

 

[corinnajane]

Putting on weight and growing up.

Attached image(s)

 

[corinnajane]

All grown up.

Attached image(s)

 

[moon_beam]

"I just have this awful feeling that, if I was really such a great pet-owner, he would never have become poisoned."


Hi, CJ, thank you so o o much for sharing your precious Leonine with us. What a handsome lad he is!! How blessed he is to have you for his earthly caregiver and eternal mom.

CJ, the older I get the more I realize how very little control we have over what happens during our earthly journey. We are not omnipotent - - we do not have the privilege of foreknowledge. Accidents happen in spite of our very best earnest efforts to prevent them. You haven't mentioned how your Leonine became poisoned, if it was something he got into or if it was through the malicious actions of someone else, or if it was through food your purchased expecting it to be safe. The bottom line is this - - you always did the very best for your precious Leonine at all times and in all circumstances with the information and resources you had at any given time. You would have walked through hot flowing lava, over hot burning coals to protect your precious Leonine, and all of your beloved companions, from all harm.

Unfortunately guilt is a part of this grief journey and is one of the hardest emotions to reconcile. Guilt can rob us of our joy in our memories. I know your precious Leonine wants to you embrace his sweet Living Spirit so that your heart and mind can be at peace to enjoy your cherished memories of your earthly journey together. But I know reconciling our "I wish I could's", "if only I had's", "if only I had not's", "why didn't I's" is easier said than done, and I wish there was something I could say that could take this pain away from you.

The anniversaries are very hard for they are a reminder that our beloved companions' sweet precious physical bodies are no longer with us. Our lives are changed for the better when they come into our lives, and they change again when they precede us to the angels. The difference is that we are blessed with the most loving memories we will know on this side of eternity - - our earthly journey blessed with our beloved companions' unconditional love and undivided attention. And the good news is that this love bond is eternal - - it is not limited to the physical laws of time and space. So our beloved companions continue to share our earthly journey just as they always have and always will - - for they are a part of us - - a very integral part of our hearts - - and they are always a heartbeat close to us.

Even when we have other beloved companions still with us, our hearts and homes ache for the companion whose physical presence is missing. This grief journey is both emotionally and physically painful, CJ, and establishing a "new routine" is very hard. I wish there were an easier way to navigate this grief journey, but it truly is a one day at a time, one moment at a time journey. It is important for you to know you are not alone in your grief journey, CJ. Each of us are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

CJ, I hope in some way what I have shared with you will bring some comfort and peace to your heart, if not right now then hopefully someday. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please do let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[corinnajane]

You are so kind!

You are right, I would do anything for my little ones.


One night, Leo seemed off his food, which happens from time to time. He almost always slept with me, but not this night. It was very hot, so I didn't think much of it. In the morning, all he could do was lie on the floor and cry out. He seemed to be frothing at the mouth.

When I rushed him to the hospital and described the symptoms, they admitted him immediately. The vet felt his kidneys and he screamed and turned around, trying to hit her. It was completely out of character. The vet took a blood sample and then whisked him off to casualty.

I have gone a bit hazy on the exact details, because I was so upset at the time.

However, the vet informed me that the most likely scenario was that he had been exposed to something toxic. Nothing else explained the blood test results and the symptoms. They kept him there for days on a drip, trying to flush out his kidneys, but the damage was extensive. Nothing could be done. He was unable to eat or even go to the toilet.

This particular vet hospital only allows people to visit their pets for short periods of time - 15 minutes or so. You had to make appointments. Grrr... I visited about twice a day, trying to get him to eat. He always got up and gave me kisses. The IV hurt his arm, so it was hard for him to sit on my lap. The staff told me that they couldn't believe how sweet and gentle he was. Even though he was dying, he still kept trying to make friends and smooch everybody...

On the last day, the vet came and told me it was all no good. His kidneys were ruined. I offered one of mine, even though I knew that a cross-species transfer could never work. I asked about a kidney donor but the vet said that these sorts of things were ruinously expensive. She told me that it was time to put him to sleep.

That visit, Leo looked so distressed and heartbroken when I had to go home. He put his paw on me when I withdrew from the cage. I decided that it was just not right to hurt his feelings like that... And that he should come home, not get put to sleep in a strange place where everything smelt wrong.

I made arrangements for him to come home with me. The hospital gave him a massive amount of painkiller and a full IV, so that he was well hydrated. I took him home and he spent one last night and morning with me and his two young sisters. He slept with me, I cuddled him and patted him all night. In the morning, he actually got up and went to his bowl, just like everyday. He couldn't eat, but he sat there with his sisters and shared in the morning routine. Then I let them all out into the garden to play, just like always. He went out and did the rounds of the garden, chewed some grass, even managed to do his business. He enjoyed the sun for a while, then came in and sat with me. He actually ate a little snack!

Eventually the nice lady vet came and helped him die. Her name is Dr. Emma Whiston and she was an absolute angel. That's what she does for a living - goes to people's homes and helps put suffering animals out of their misery. You can't imagine a more caring and patient person. Leo adored her on sight.

I know Leonine was happy about it. Dr. Whiston said that she could tell when an animal was ready to go - and that he was completely accepting. He even kneaded his little paws when the first two injections were administered. I have had animals put to sleep before, and I have always found it traumatic, but this was done slowly and gracefully... Then the lovely doctor did an excellent job of consoling me and calming me down, as I went a bit off the deep end after that.


Some time later, I did an inventory of the shed, kitchen, laundry and garden, and couldn't find anything that would have killed him.

I hate to say it, but I am almost completely positive it was due to the council man spraying weedicide out of the front of our property. It rained almost immediately afterwards and you are not supposed to do that at all.

I am not blaming the council, because I cannot prove anything, but I know for a fact that they did not abide by their own regulations, on this and many other occasions in regard to spraying.

I have since had a conversation with the council staff and made arrangements for our property to be exempted from the spraying regime. So that is a relief.


I just wish it hadn't happened.

And one of his sisters is having a very hard time dealing with it, so I feel distressed on her behalf.

[moon_beam]

Hi, CJ, my heart is breaking as I'm reading your post. I am so so so sorry that your precious Leonine was exposed to the spraying. I know you would not have anything on your property or in your home that would hurt your precious companions. I am very glad to know you have been able to arrange an exemption from any further sprayings of the property.

I am so o o glad you were able to take your precious Leonine home with you so that he could join the angels with his family - - all of his family - - with him. I can well imagine how difficult it was for you through all of this, so "losing it" after his physical passage to the angels is quite understandable, and I'm ever so thankful that the vet was so compassionate in comforting you at that time.

CJ, I do understand how painful all of this is for you, as I too had a furchild who was poisoned many years ago. You and Leonine's sisters are going through a very difficult adjustment - - which I know is a major understatement. As long as your furkids are eating properly, drinking water normally, and taking care of their personal needs they will be okay. They just need your devoted attention and reassurance to help them as they adjust to the new dynamics of their family. But of course do not hesitate to have them checked out by your vet if you see something - - or suspect something - - is not "right."

CJ, thank you so much for sharing with us what happened with your precious Leonine. Please know you are not alone in your grief journey, for we are here for you with every step you take - - be it forward or backward, or just the need to stand still for a spell to catch your breath. I hope you will feel both our individual and collective strength holding you and supporting you through your journey. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, CJ, and am looking forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[corinnajane]

Moon_Beam, you are such a kind soul. I really appreciate your words.

Thank you for your reassurances.

I am horrified to hear about the poisoning of your little one!!!! How did you cope? I'm so sorry to hear that. That is utterly tragic.


I do feel especially worried about one of Leonine's sisters, Tepper. She was a tiny kitten when I got her from the animal shelter and she just adored her big brother. She took such liberties with him! She likes to play very rough, and he put up with all of it, without laying a paw on her. You could tell that he wasn't keen, being an older cat, and because he screwed up his face and laid his ears back. He was such a tolerant and loving brother.

Tepper followed him around constantly and draped herself all over him. She adored him.

When he came home from the hospital, I did speak to her and explain what was happening. I'm not sure how much she understood, to be honest. And she and the other girl cat both came in to sniff his body when he was still.

I am convinced that she was extremely depressed for months afterwards, as she lay in her special traveling box on top of the fridge and was not responsive. She snarled and lashed out if patted. She put her head on her paws and did nothing. It was hard to get her to eat anything. We got through that phase eventually; however, it has been almost a year and she is still not right.

Tepper now spends a lot of time hiding away from the others. She doesn't socialize with them very well, doesn't exchange friendly greetings and is paranoid about eating near the other cats. She often tries to hit them and hisses warnings. The others have been very accepting but are now starting to become annoyed and hit back. She often sneaks in next door and annoys the owner by wandering around inside their house. I have to go and retrieve her. I think she might be looking for her brother but I'm not really sure. In addition, she has become extremely anxious and tries to stop me leaving the house. She gets under my feet and mews piteously. When I get home, she is right by the gate, mewing and carrying on.

I am doing my best to calm and reassure her. I have done all sorts of things to try to improve the situation, from making special safe places for her to rest, to cuddling the other cats and then cuddling her, and vice-versa, so that she will be identified scent-wise as part of the family. I am trying to ignore the silly behaviour displayed when I have to go out, although it is difficult. Unfortunately, her behaviour is getting worse and worse.

I plan to take her to the vet and see what options are available for anxiety in pets.

I feel that her heart is broken and it is horrible to see her like this. She was always such a bright, energetic, boisterous and playful girl. She has lost all her confidence.

I would love to hear any further suggestions. I have all the time in the world to help her.

[rainbohdi]

wow, that has to be hard, dealing with your own grief whilst also trying to help another furbaby grieve too. i really don't have alot of advice, but i did google "grieving pet natural rememdies" and there seemed to be some interesting information and products out there that might help (i don't know the rules about links to other sites, so just gave you what i searched). understanding how pets grieve might help and also natural products can often be quite effective. i know we have a qualified vet who is also trained in various alternative treatments in our area, so maybe you might too. our vet hospital sometimes also uses homeopathic rememdies, acupucnture and a chinese herbalist as an adjunct to their standard medical treatments.

i wish i could just give you a magic answer because it sounds like it is taking it's toll on you both, but all i can do is let you know you're in my thoughts and i hope you find something that can bring you both some relief.

take as gentle care of you as you can

[moon_beam]

Hi, CJ, it sounds like Tepper has been having a very hard time adjusting to the physical loss of Leonine. It is a good idea that you are taking your little Tepper to the vet for a check up. That is the first step to excluding any medical reasons for her behavior. Rainbohdi has made some excellent suggestions, and you will want to discuss them with your vet along with any other medicinal interventions such as a mild tranquilizer. Just like with humans, our furkids' physical bodies are affected by grieving, and the brain can actually become chemically imbalanced due to the stress of grief. So, Tepper may need some form of intervention to help her at this point in time. Unfortunately there are no absolute tests that can confirm this as the diagnosis is made primarily from erratic or abnormal behaviors.

My canine companion prior to Oslo, my first canine companion Samson, became very ill and I took him to the vet. At one point in time I lived in a very bad neighborhood, and I wasn't liked very much because I value my beloved companions' lives. Although I was never able to prove it, my vet believed that somehow my Samson was poisoned by someone in the neighborhood. He survived, but he had medical issues that needed to be treated with medicines to offset the permanent effects of whatever poison he was exposed to. He had a good quality of life, but eventually his kidneys did go into total failure, and under his doctor's supervision he joined the angels as peacefully and comfortably as his doctor and I could give him. The last two years of his life he did have a safe place to live as I was able to sell the house in the city and move out here to the country side, and I was grateful that the last two years of his life were peaceful. I must confess that experience did take a toll on me, and I do not trust people very easily when it comes to my furkids.

I do hope your vet will be able to give you encouragement about your Tepper. Don't be concerned if your vet recommends a mild tranquilizer. This can be a very temporary thing until Tepper regains some emotional balance again. And just keep loving her and reassuring her, which I know you already will do.

CJ, thank you so much for sharing with us your precious Leonine, Tepper, and all of your precious companions. Along with Rainbohdi, I do hope your vet will be able to offer you encouragement and assistance with Tepper. Please know you and your beloved companions are in my thoughts and prayers, and I will look forward to knowing how things are going whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[corinnajane]

These are all wonderful suggestions; thank you so much for your comments.

Moon_Beam, that is an appalling story. How can people be so callous? To attack an innocent animal, in such a cowardly fashion. It really is staggering that people can sometimes do things like that.... I'm so sorry to hear that your beloved Samson had such a horrific experience. It's great that you had the chance to move to a more pet-friendly, safe and calm environment.

I am fairly confident that Tepper's behaviour isn't due to any other medical issues. I'm not big on chemical interventions, but I will certainly give it a go if the vet believes that it might help. I will explore the other options of homeopathy.... And, in fact, my chiropractor really helped me with one of my other animals. Maybe I could see if that helps.

I think Tepper is in danger of alienating the others completely.....

At the moment, I am giving her lots of space and quiet. She has a basket on top of the wardrobe, where she can look down at everything and feel safe.

I am also trying to intersperse this with playtime sessions, where we play with some feathers and string toys, and Tepper can let off some steam. She is an amazing athlete - incredibly fast and agile.

It must be so confusing for a young animal, to have one of the constants in your life suddenly disappear. It makes me really sad to see her struggling with the situation. I don't want her to feel any pain, but this seems to be inescapable.....

[corinnajane]

Tepper with her big brother....

Attached image(s)

 

[fcbruno]

Tepper with her big brother....

Hi CJ

So sorry to read about your beloved Leonine. He was beautiful.

The attention you pay to Tepper's wellbeing is tremendous. Tepper may sometimes feel anxious but she knows she is in safe hands with an extremely loving best friend in you.

Take care, and I look forward to reading her progress.

Peter

[moon_beam]

Hi, CJ, there is no doubt that holistic and homeopathic interventions are always preferable to pharmaceutals. It took my Noah almost 2.5 years to adjust to the physical absence of his adopted big kitty brother Eli. Seeing the picture of your precious Tepper and Leonine together it is obvious that Tepper was very attached to her big brother. You're doing everything you possibly can to help and reassure your precious Tepper.

Your "feline pride" is in the process of sorting things out. As you know our feline companions are cousins to the beautiful larger felines in the wild, and lion groups are referred to as "prides". And like their big cousins in the wild, our smaller feline companions have their own way of sorting things out among themselves, as long as they don't inflict physical harm on one another in the process. When there is an upheaval in the "pride" group, sometimes there are individuals who separate themselves from the "main" group. It's okay if Tepper needs to separate herself from the rest of the group as long as she knows she has your love and reassurance, which is already a given. Perhaps in time with love and encouragement, Tepper will be able to re-inegrate herself back into her "feline group".

CJ, I hope you, Tepper, and all of your fur family have a very peaceful and pleasant weekend. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and will look forward to knowing how thing are going whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[magdalene]

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's hard anytime we lose one of our babies, but when it's something that seems preventable, like poisoning, and when we know they suffered some before the end, well, I think that makes it harder. And I don't mean that you could have prevented it - if it was indeed the weedkiller, that was not something you had control over and you didn't realize it would harm him. Please don't think I'm blaming you. I just mean it's kind of different than if a cat becomes ill, although of course that is hard too. I hope I'm saying this right.

I think you made the right decision to let him go. I'm glad it was peaceful at the end, for him and for you. It's never an easy decision but when we really love someone, sometimes it's the kindest, most loving thing we can do.

He sounds like such a special boy. I'm glad you had him and he had you.

I wanted to mention something that seemed to help my kitty Cayenne when my other kitty Eileen died. Eileen was hit by a car and she and Cayenne had always been very close. They used to groom each other and stuff. When Eileen died, I was horribly, horribly upset. I screamed and cried for a long, long time and I know I frightened my other kitties. Looking back, I wish I had been able to be more calm and that I'd let Cayenne see Eileen's body and sniff her and stuff. I think that might have helped her a little.

Anyway, Cayenne got very depressed. She started peeing outside the litter box and other stuff that I could see she was really sad and missing her friend. I ended up using some Bach flower remedies with her and it did seem to help. What I used was Rescue Remedy and Star of Bethlehem.

Magdalene

[corinnajane]

Thank you everyone, for your kind words and great suggestions! You are all so supportive. You have no idea how much this is helping!

How do you use the Rescue Remedy with a cat? Do you put it on their fur? And how much should you use?

I don't take offence re the comments about spraying because I had no idea that it had happened until afterwards. And, quite frankly, the council man would be the one responsible because he did NOT abide by the safety guidelines. If indeed that is what caused the poisoning.... Not that I can find any other cause. I've never had an animal experience anything remotely similar, and, as I said, all dangerous substances are kept to a minimum at my house... And are all safely secured.

I do agree that Tepper is withdrawing from the family unit somewhat.... But the trouble is that her younger brother is now becoming quite aggressive towards her. I hate to say it, but I have seen him try to attack her on four occasions now. He is not playing.

Tep's younger brother, Lamington, is a little sweetheart who is exceptionally affectionate and loving towards his sisters. Like Leonine, he adores me as well. However, he does not tolerate outsiders (cats). Even though he is a teenager, he has ushered several fully-grown, vicious male toms from the property. It is quite amazing to see him in action. He does not even fluff up, but he leaves them in no doubt that he will not tolerate their presence.

I am really concerned that Tepper's erratic behaviour is turning Lamington against her. This is the last thing we need.

That is one of the reasons why I make sure to pat them all, and transfer their scent to eachother.

My poor baby girl! The love of her life is gone and she doesn't know what to do.