Wow Lose Them Both...:( Options

[stephaniemag]

Yesterday my cat passed away. She was my best friend, well only friend, for the last 10 years, I am a mess, she got a disease from a tick. She was anorexic and going blind and had an ear infection. i brought her to the vet and they gave me medications for her and the next day she was having trouble breathing, it got worse in the car while i was rushing her to the vet the next day she was dying, she was looking up at me crying and gasping like asking me to help her and shes scared, I can't get over this and its ripping me apart, she was so special to me, she did the cutest funniest things, I cant believe shes not there when i look at where she used to sleep. I hate coming home now. I still smell her and wonder if there was more i could have done to help her.
I try to think about good memories but all I see is her gasping for breath,
do you think she was scared??

now 15 minutes ago, my hamster, the only other pet ive had just died of old age. I had him for years as well.
Both at the same time within barely 24 hours is unbearable. I feel alone, guilty, like I hate myself.
I cant believe this is happening all of it piling on like this.

I feel like I should have pet my cat more then i did, and given her a better life then i did. Her last days I was shoving pills down her throat, stressing her out, thats how she spent her last days and I feel horrible.

how do I cope?

[Karen3002]

Stephanie - I am truly sorry to hear about your double loss. I can understand your feelings of guilt as I am going through the same thing. It is not easy - I know it helps me to know that my baby is as peace. Still does not cut down on the heartbreak I know. I will be thinking of you.
Karen

[moon_beam]

Hi, stephanie, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved cat and hamster. Losing companions is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Losing two companions within hours of each other intensifies the grief.

Stephanie, this grief journey is one of the hardest experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time and make us feel like we are literally going insane. Please let me try to reassure you that the deep grief you are feeling is very normal - - very painful both emotionally and physically, yes - - still very normal. Unfortunately there is no easy way through this grief journey. There are no fast forward or delete buttons you can press to speed up the process or make it instantaneously disappear. The only way through this grief journey is one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time in your own way and in your own time. But please let me also reassure you that you are NOT alone in your journey. Each of us here do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. You are among friends here, stephanie - - there are no judgments made here.

You ask if your cat was frightened with what was happening to her in her last moments transitioning home to the angels. I truly believe that while the physical body can appear to be in distress there is a quiet peace that overtakes the Spirit to take away all fear. Your cat had your loving presence with her as well, and I know this was comforting to her as she transitioned home to the angels. Do I have proof of this? To a certain extent yes with my volunteer work with hospice patients. As the moment of release from the physical body draws closer there is an unexplainable presence of peace that comes even though the physical body may be in physical pain. Once the person's Spirit is finally free of the physical body, the body then relaxes and many times there is a smile on the person's face for their Spirit - - the part of them that makes them who they are - - is now in eternal peace. I believe this happens with our companions as well, Stephanie, for I have seen it with my companions.

This, however, does not diminish the painful memories the caregivers must learn to cope with from the trauma of losing a companion. Clinical studies show that our brain records events that happen - - some events are pleasant, some events are pushed to the "dusty files", and some events that are traumatic in our lives are kept to the forefront where they are played over and over like a continuous movie. The more traumatic the event the more the "movie" is replayed. It is normal for you to be remembering her last moments with you for this is the time when your physical bond between you and your beloved cat were separated, and this is a very traumatic event. I promise you, Stephanie, that in time the memory of this moment will ease so that you will be able to remember all the wonderful memories you and your beloved cat share. For even though she is no longer physically with you, I promise you her sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey just as she always has and always will. She is always a part of you, stephanie, for the love bond you and your beloved cat share is eternal. She is always and forever in your heart and your memories - - she is always and forever a heartbeat close to you. And the same is true for your beloved hamster.

I know there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the seering pain of loss you are feeling. I can only hope and pray that the words I share with you will be able to offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement and hope as you travel your grief journey.

Thank you so much for sharing your beloved cat and hamster with us, stephanie. Perhaps sometime you will feel up to sharing a picture(s) of them with us -- but only when / if you want to. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, stephanie, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Gretta's Mom]

Stephanie

Please accept my deepest sympathies in your double loss! A one-two punch to the heart must be like the rest of us who lose on darling, times ten. Moonbeam is right. You gave your cat-baby the best gift you could - not only did you step up and do THE hardest thing on earth - set them free - but your love for her summoned up the strength to be with her, to hold her during that bus ride to Heaven. Heaven is where she is now - absolutely no doubt. And Heaven is where Mr Hammie is, too. They are together. And someday you will be together with them. Meanwhile, again a Moonbeam has said much more eloquently that I can, their spirits are right there with you - even though you can't see, hear or touch them. That's what HURTS so much. Remember that TRUE LOVE never diminishes or dies. It lasts forever.

During these first days and weeks of agony, you have no "shoulds". Just robot-walk through your "outside life" and do whatever you have to at home - cry, scream, pound pillows. One thing I did was to sleep for over a week on my Gretta's (the kindest chocolate lab who ever lived) big orthopedic dog bed with two of her snosuits velcroed together for a pillow. Only someone who has been separated from their true spirit-animal can understand that.

That's why Lightning Strike is such a powerful and wonderful site. We're all your brothers and sisters who are going or have gone through what you're going through now. We've all ridden the rolloer coaster from he()*()*(). Some of us are just getting on this devilish ride - others have been on it for a long time. The dips and turns DO get smaller. We'll take care of you as long as it takes.

Gretta's mom

[DannysMom]

Stephanie, I am sorry for the loss of your little cat and hamster. A double loss is indeed very hard. My heart goes out to you. Knowing from my own experience it is hard to get their last moments out of one's mind. When my Danny boy died last December I was so traumatized at seeing him dead that I couldn't get it out of my mind for weeks. It is really hard. Your little cat could have had a heart attack. It is hard to say, but I don't think you did anything wrong. Under the circumstances and with the knowledge that you had you did the best that you could.

[xxForeverxx]

I am so sorry for your losses. All of us here no the heartache and pain you are going through but of course a double loss as well is extra hard.

Please know that your cat knew how much you loved her and knew you were doing everyone you could to keep her happy and healthy. Have you got family near by so your not alone? The best thing you can do is surround yourself with other people but still allowing alone time to grieve.

My deepest sympathies.

xxForeverxx

[Gretta's Mom]

Hello Stephanie

Just stopping by to see how you are doing and to lend you a little strength today. Your kittie and your hamster are alive and well in the Perfect World. That's where they came from and that's where they've gone back to. A place of warmth, peace, sunshine, lots of friends - and are still on their jobs: watching over you, guiding your steps, and,most important of all, loving and being loved by you. Someday you will join them there - and what a day of rejoicing THAT will be! My Gretta (the kindest chocolate lab who ever lived) has met them both and is showing them all around the Perfect World.

When you feel a little puff of love, or think an unexpected thought or your feet wander to a place you hadn't planned on going, that's your fur-pair working - but then love is no work - it's love.

Live each moment at a time (when you're in such pain that's all you CAN do) and please be kind to yourself. Do what you have to do to mourn them and remember that they are ALWAYS right by your side.

Blessings

Gretta's mom

[John P]

Hi Stephanie,

You've come to the right place. Dealing with your double loss must be very hard. It helps to console yourself with the fact that you did the best you could knowing what you did. If our furkids could only *tell* us what's wrong it would make things easier, but they can't. Sometimes, not even the vet can figure things out. For now, be kind to yourself, give yourself time and rest.