The End Is Fast Approaching...., approaching death Options

[anniegirl]

Thank you for this forum. Is it alright if I ramble? I hope someone understands.
I have been searching and searching, I am grieving yet my beloved dog has not been put to sleep yet. She is a doberman/lab almost 14 years old. She is arthritic and on medication. At her vet appointment last week, she had lost weight. Our vet indicated this could be the beginning of the end come Winter.
14 seems old for a large dog her size yet it feels like she could be 20 and that would still not be enough time with her. Will I ever feel o.k. about putting her to sleep, knowing it is the right thing to do?
I have decided to have our vet come here rather than put her down at the vet office. Our dog hates going to the Vet office and dragging her in would not be something I would never want to remember.
Has anyone been in this situation? Have some advice or thoughts to make it through this?
Thank you.

[LS Support]

welcome to the site anniegirl. when considering euthanizing a pet, there are some key issues to ponder. if the friend is in constant pain, fails to eat or drink, has poor bodily functions, or cannot move around well enough to be happy, then it is usually time to consider providing the release he or she needs. very smart idea on having the vet come to your house, it generally eases the entire experience for everyone involved. sounds like your pup is a large breed, have you considered at all what to do once she has passed? only reason i ask is that pet parents sometimes forget this important issue of closure. having been there myself a number of times, i recommend cremation as this allows you to either keep the remains or scatter them at a place the pet would have enjoyed.

[Darebaby]

I had been going through the same thing. About 5-6 weeks ago I fond out my Pox had a tumor in her head. We were trying homeopathy and the doctor said she may live another 6 months or longer. So I wasn't expecting the end to some so soon. But things got complicated. When I first found out about the tumor was when I started calling around and pricing things. Which i am glad i did. I knew exactly how it would be done...at home and cremation. It made her last weeks so much easier. I am not sure what it would have been like if I had to plan all of this at the last minute. Honestly, I felt "prepared" in a sense. I had to face it eventually. which made it easier (not that it's easy) when the actual day came. Somebody told me "you will know when it is time". That is how it was for me. I didn't know on Wednesday night but when i woke up on Thursday I looked at my little angel and she looked at me with this look like "mom, I'm ready". I know it is hard.
Pox was surrounded by people she loved and in her own bed. The doctor had already prepped her early that morning with the IV. So we stayed with her all day. We talked to her and said our "see you laters" and when the doctor finally arrived, It was quick. And she was instantly out of pain. I never thought I could go through with it, either. But you can and you will. You will do it for your little one.
Keep writing.

[gingerspal]

Hi annie---I think you are very smart to be thinking about this well in advance! I know that it is the best thing for your beloved companion to be prepared!! It is all so difficult and most people just shove it off and shove it off and then the day comes and they are delirious. No matter what it is pretty certain, even with planning, that you will be shook up and have a variety of feelings when the time comes--but it sounds to me like you have your head on straight and please come back and talk to us--anytime!! we are here to help!
(yes, you would feel fine about it down the road---because it is a gift we are able to give, to be able to make sure our pets do not suffer needlessly.)

[j4lorn]

Hi anniegirl,

I also have a very old dog who has nothing wrong with her except bad arthritis all over her body. She's an Australian cattle dog, they have the world record for longevity -- 29 years!! -- and she just had a complete geriatric checkup. The vet said she is very healthy and could live 2 more years but over the past two weeks all she is doing is lying around and just getting up to eat and barely make it out to the backyard. So we know the end is near for her too, and we just lost our 12 year old dog 2 months ago.

It's really hard having that anticipation anxiety... we are just trying to keep her comfortable with Rimydal for her arthritis and a thick folded up blanket for her to sleep on - if she moves off of it, we can just pick it up and move it with her and roll her back on it! The worst thing for arthritis lying on a hard floor.

I think all you can do is make your dog as comfortable as you can, and give her/him whatever joy you still can, whether it's a special treat or just more attention from you.

Is your dog still making it outside to go to the bathroom? I can't carry ours but my husband can, down the steps - she can still walk but the steps are getting dangerous. there's only 5 but she loses it at the end. And she has gained alot of weight from being so inactive, so that is bad too. I figure as long as she can walk outside to do her duty, and she's eating, it's ok if she is sleeping alot or just lying around. That's what 90 year old people do too!!

So, I guess I really don't have an answer as to how to know it's time, we are struggling with the same thing. But I agree, it's a good thing to plan out how you want it to be. I wish we had put our 12 year old dog down at home like you are planning, but he was at the ER Hospital already and it seemed unfair to drag him home just so I would feel better, so I didn't. But I wish it could have been that way.

Have you decided whether to bury or cremate your dog? You should decide that now because either way it will need to be done right away, so that is something to think about in advance. If you cremate, you can always decide later if/when/where to spread the ashes - I kept my other dog's ashes right here with me, it brings me some comfort to have him near.

Good luck.

[anniegirl]

Thank you so much for the replies, anticipation anxiety is exactly what this is! I was feeling so alone, you understand! Just trying to not be in denial and to be prepared as much as I can.
Now, the harsh reality. Cremation vs. burial. This was difficult to read. I will discuss this with our vet. Here is the tricky part, we do not have pet crematorium near. I imagine she would be sent by freight 4 hours to one, then her ashes sent back. She is 96 lbs. which is difficult from a burial point of view as well. I was leaning towards a burial at home since she will be at home when she goes. Did you realize that the hole should be a minimum 6 ft deep? The drug used to euthanize can be deadly to other animals if they were to dig around the grave. In the dead of winter (we get lots of snow) digging large holes could be difficult. Isn't this morbid? What if we were ever to move?

She is really hanging in there. Some days is looks like she won't make it, she might keel over, yesterday she actually galloped! Up and down days. We are just really enjoying her, letting her know constantly how much we love her and keeping her comfortable. Yes, pillows and blankets!
j4lorn, I am so sorry for your loss. We could also be in a situation where she might have to be rushed into the office, it proves we can't always control things exactly the way we plan doesn't it?
Darebaby, I'm so sorry for your loss of Pox. Thank you for sharing your experience, I very much identified with what you have been through.

Thank you all for reading and understanding.

[Miss Mew]

Like Anniegirl, I too would welcome some advice. I discovered this site at the beginning of October after losing my 21 year old cat, Miss Mew. We have 3 other cats and a 14 year old Shepherd named Mik. He was diagnosed with degenerative myelopathy when he was 12. For those not familiar with this disease, it is autoimmune in nature and is called the M.S. of dogs. There is no cure but there are protocols that will slow down the progression. With no intervention most dogs are paralysed in the hindquarters within 6 months. We feel lucky that we have been able to buy Mik some more time, but in the last week the bad days are beginning to outnumber the good ones. My husband refuses to to consider the possibility of a cart, and I tend to agree as you first have to be able to lift a 100 pound dog into the cart.
Unfortunately we have to be prepared for euthenasia. A couple of months ago I called every single animal hospital in our area, but could not find a vet that would come to our home. When the time comes we are going to have to face the challenge of transporting a semi-paralysed dog from our house, to the car, and then to the clinic. Mik is not aggressive but has always been anxious and frightened during his visits to the vet. His last appointment, when he was diagnosed with DM the vet had us put a muzzle on him, and I don't want him subjected to that again. Should we give him a tranquilizer before leaving ? I can't see this dog having an I.V. line inserted without being very scared.
I was with Miss Mew when she passed, and it was very peaceful and easy for her, but she was very ill and weak. The awful thing about myelopathy is that the dog is alert and in no pain which makes the prospect of euthenasia all the more nightmarish. It feels surreal to be talking about this but I don't know where else to turn. In asking for help, I truly hope not to bring back bad memories for anyone and if I do I am so sorry. If anyone can tell me how to make this the least stressful and painless for Mik, I would be very grateful.
Nicole

[BabyHannahsMom]

I am so sorry to hear that several of you in this thread are possibly going to have to make that most dreaded decision. I just want to encourage each of you to do searches on the internet relative to your particular situation and/or illness. Also, just type in "pets and euthanasia." There are many, many articles, but not one that really says it all.

There are so many options these days, and it just is so important to know as much as possible. There is one thing for sure, and we've said it here time and again -- there is no good way to let them go, these precious beings in our lives. We just have to make the best decision for them. No one can make the decision for us, unfortunately. Talk to your babies, ask them what they want, tell them what is happening. They sometimes just want to hold on for us, I think.

Read, please read the previous posts made here on LS. One of the most horrible feelings we have to deal with is the guilt, and no matter what, I guess there's almost always some second-guessing. Just read, read, so you will know what to expect if you have to make the decision. I know the anticipation anxiety is a grieving in itself. I cried many, many, many tears before I let my little Hannah girl go. I guess I lived in a fog for at least several months before. But as bad as it is, you cannot imagine the pain, the utter desolation, the lonely, longing, almost unbearable hurt until you go through it. I do so wish I could spare just one of you some of the pain. I know one or two of you have already been through this recently, and my heart goes out to you. Tomorrow will be 6 months and one week since I've seen my precious Hannah.
Love,
Marcia

[beth4275]

Anniegirl and Mrs. Mew,

I don't have advice as much as I can share with you my experience with my little guy Snoops. In everyone petlover's life I have told there is one pet that for some reason shares an extra special bond and that is their "heart" pet. In my case that would have been Snoops. Snoops lived with me for over half my life and saw me through many many painful things including the death of all my grandparents. He was and still is the light of my life. I lost him a little over a year ago. 8 months before he died he was diagnosed with a brain tumor and I was told this would be terminal as he was not healthy enough to go through surgery. He was 16.5. The last month of his life I wrestled with the decision of whether or not letting him go would be the best thing. I went back forth every day and in most cases multiple times within the same day. Two weeks prior to his death he suffered a grand maal seizure was unconcious for almost an hour. We rushed him to the vet where they were able to help him out and ran multple tests.

Two weeks later I made an appointment with my vet specifically to discuss my options and what I could and could not do. My vet was kind enough to point out to me what was in store for my little man and she told me (after I pushed her) that in her opinion we were no longer being fair to him. So, that day I let my little man find peace and my world fell apart.

Your question "will I ever feel OK about putting her to sleep" is a good one. In my case the answer is yes you will. It will take some time and you will feel guilty ... this is all perfectly normal. But, after time has passed you will at some point realize that what you did was the best possible thing for your little ones. My advice would be to talk it over with your vet. A second piece of advice is that you must know in your heart that this is the best solution for your little one. If you have any doubts at all you should probably not do it as the guilt in that case will eat you alive. My vet gave Snoops a sedative before administering that final shot. I will be forever thankful to her for that.

I wish you both the best and please let us know how you are. It is not easy letting your best friend go but it is by far the loving thing you can do for them when the time comes and you will know in your heart when that time has come.

Hugs,
Beth

[deedee]

I can add very little to what the other posters have said. I agree that you should discuss the options with your vet. I had my old boy cat put to sleep in June, and now I believe it was the right decision. He had quit eating, and started hiding - that told me that it was time. The guilt has lifted now; it seems to be part and parcel of the grieving process. I miss him, but I promised him both a good life, and a good death. I kept my part of the promise.

[j4lorn]

Hi Nicole,

My dog had spinal stenosis, where he was getting weak in the hind-quarters, it is similar to what your dog has. But he had a seizure and died before we got to the point where it was a big problem, it was just beginning. We had to put him down, it's been exactly 2 months ago, I would say the first two weeks were the hardest with guilt and just the shock of it all; I still cry occassionally but I do see that we did all we could for him and what the others said is true, you will reach the point after awhile where you can look back and see you did your best and did what had to be done.

One grief article I read said that the thing is, we keep our pets alive artifically, and they live an artificial life into very old age and illness, whereas this would not happen in the wild -- the weak and sick die young. Since we give them an artificial life it is up to us to help them pass on in a gentle way when the time comes. That thought helped me alot in dealing with the guilt.

I'm really surprised no vet would come to your house..... I lost alot of respect for the vet profession with how they treated us and my Jake after his seizure, the vet we had taken him to all his life, 11 1/2 years, was a total jerk to us and did not treat our dog, he just said "oh he'll be fine, dogs have seizures all the time". Jake was dead within a week. I am really disillusioned with them all.

At any rate: have you called only vet hospitals, have you also tried the private vet practices in you area? You may be able to find a vet not associated with the vet hospitals who will come to your house. Also you should ask for a dose of valium or something if you do decide to transport Mik, just insist on it -- tell them he is too big and too anxious and you must have it in advance for the trip. I know they give people valium suppositories for home use for dogs with epilepsy, and NO, my VET did not tell me this, I found it on the net after the fact while trying to learn how to help my dog. I'm not bitter!

One last thing, my dog Jake (in my avatar) was 70 lbs, and the last night we had to rush him to an ER Hospital, he was limp as a rag; so we laid him on a sheet/blanket in the middle, then stood over him and put the sides up together like you were going to fold the sheet, with him in the middle, then roll the excess sheet down to his body, kind of like wrapping him in a papoose. Using the rolled sheet kind of like a handle of sorts, you and your husband should be able to each take an end and carry him out to the car if need be.

Best of luck.

[Miss Mew]

To j4lorn,
Thank you so much for your advice. I did call many private practices in my efforts to find a vet who would perform euthanasia in our home. I found only one vet in Ottawa, ( we live in Quebec-40 minutes from Ottawa) but unfortunately he can only practice in the province of Ontario. I have not given up hope yet, as I met one of our neighbours tonight as he was taking an evening stroll, and he told me that he was instrumental in getting an MRI machine set up at the Alta Vista Animal Hospital, probably the best clinic in the region. Jim said that he would e-mail his contacts tonight in an effort to help us. We live in a beautiful but remote area, at the end of a dirt road, with no full time immediate neighbours, so I think that it was fate that I met Jim tonight as he lives about a mile away.
I have not given up on Mik yet either, although there is no cure for myelopathy, I think the symptoms we have seen in the last week may be more related to arthritis. For the first time I gave him half a Tylenol an hour ago and will watch to see if it helps with his discomfort.I am even prepared to consider Rimadyl, or Metacam or Etodalac if necessary. I have read about some pretty frightning side effect from these drugs so I do want to proceed cautiously. As you pointed out we sometimes keep our pets alive artificially, and it is a real tightrope that we walk. We want to explore all avenues that may help without stripping our animals of their dignity and trying to ensure that we do no harm and inadvertently make them suffer. Again, thank you for caring. This is the most amazing site that I have been lucky enough to stumble on.
Nicole