Missing My Sweet Maltese/pekingese Boy Options

[LoveMyMickey]

Sept. 20, 1996 - Feb. 22, 2011


Eight weeks ago today our little boy Mickey passed away here at home. I'm glad we didn't have to make the choice of putting him down. He was 14 years and 5 months old. We got him from a couple who could no longer care for him when he was 5 years old. He came home with us and accepted us as if he knew us. He was such a sweet loving little boy.

He was diagnosed with a heart murmur a few years ago which didn't seem to bother him. But as time went by he could do less without getting out of breath and coughing. At his regular checkup last Oct. the vet prescribed a blood pressure and diuretic pill. It helped his breathing until a few days before he passed in Feb. He was always lively and frisky even if it got him out of breath. He had such a happy playful spirit. He went downhill pretty fast. One night he was trotting behind me for his Pupperoni treat and the next day he started not eating as much, but he always drank plenty of water. He lost some weight during the next few days and we kept in touch with the vet. She said to give him some Pedialyte and we also got his meds refilled. We decided not to take him to the vet to get him stuck with needles and upset him, because he was getting weak and we knew this was going to be the end. I could tell his heart wasn't beating normal and the pills weren't helping much.

He had his good days and bad days which they said was normal. The day he passed he had gotten up early that morning and ate a little hamburger I had left out for him in the kitchen. During the day he did his potty outside and even barked at a neighbor through the carport storm door. In the late afternoon, he got in his little soft bed in the living room. My husband and I were in the living room too. All of a sudden Mickey got up out of his bed and collasped. He had a seizure. We got down on the floor with him and comforted him until he took his last breath, which didn't take long. He seemed to be unconscious, so maybe he didn't suffer.

We put him back in his little bed on his side and put it in a heavy duty plastic container which we had ready. We put in some of his favorite things and covered him with a little quilt I had made. Before we covered him with the quilt, we left it open for awhile. He looked like a little angel laying there. Then we sealed it up good. We buried him in our flower garden beside our last little dog.

Needless to say we are heartbroken. I will write more about him later. I can't see through these tears.

To everyone here, please accept my condolences on the loss of your pets. I have been reading here for awhile. I found the board on Google as I was searching for pet monuments.

God Bless You All!

[janika]

I am also typing with tears in my eyes, LoveMyMickey. Please let me offer my condolences and sympathy for the loss of your beautiful boy.

I must add, that hard as it is to accept that our fur babies have to leave this Earthly Plain, your Mickey sounds to have had such a wonderful and loving life with you, and he passed quickly and without too much suffering. I know that is small consolation when you are missing him so much, but please try and take comfort in the knowledge that he was with the people he loves and who love him. I speak in the present tense deliberately as I do feel that even though we can't see or touch our fur babies, they are still with us.

Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Jan and my Angels and Pixie xx

[moon_beam]

Hi, LoveMyMickey, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your beloved Mickey. Losing a beloved companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we have been blessed with the privilege of their company.

As Jan has so comfortingly said, your precious Mickey's sweet Living Spirit is forever with you in your heart and your memories. The love bond you share is eternal - - it is not dependent on the physical laws of time and space. I hope as your deep grief eases you will feel your precious Mickey still with you - - forever with you - - always a heartbeat close to you.

Thank you so much for sharing your precious Mickey with us and for sharing a picture of your precious boy. What a handsome young man he is!!!

One of the many important things for you to remember during this grief journey is that you are not alone. Each of us here do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, LoveMyMickey, and please let us know how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Peggy's Human]

Dear LoveMyMickey,

I am so sorry about the loss of your beloved Mickey. What a precious little soul he was/is, his beautiful spirit shines right through in his picture. I completely understand your devestation and wish I could offer you more than mere words as you travel this painful road with the rest of us. The 8 week anniversary for my beautiful Peggy will be Friday night/Saturday morning. It's amazing how fast the time passes and yet, the pain doesn't seem to abate. It subsides for brief periods but then resurfaces, often at unexpected times. Please remember that you are not alone and your fellow-travelers on this site will always be willing to listen and offer a comforting shoulder when you need support or want to share some of your stories about your sweet Mickey. As much as it hurts, writing about our loved ones who are no longer physically with us, often helps us to work our way through our mutual pain. If you feel up to sharing, I would love to read more about your adorable boy. If you don't feel up to it, please don't try to push yourself. You must find the way and pace that works best for you.

What a blessing for Mickey to pass at home. But even if you were 'prepared', how difficult that must have been for you and your husband. God love you both for being strong enough to focus on comforting Mickey when you must have been experiencing incredibly diffiuclt emotions at the situation you were facing. Please take some solance in the fact that he was unconscious after he collapsed. I'm sure he was not experiencing any pain, so try to rest easy on that account. I am just as positive that he heard you both and knew you were there with him, to help him pass.

Please know that I completely understand the heart-break you are experiencing. You will be in my thoughts and prayers and I hope that the pain in your heart lightens soon so you can remember your beloved boy with more smiles than tears.

Please take care of yourselves.

Peggy (the human)

[LoveMyMickey]

Thank you Janika, Moon_Beam, and Peggy's Human for your kind words. Some days I feel better and maybe have a few small tears, then other days I have loads of tears. Last night we had a bad thunderstorm and tornado watch. We stayed in the basement in the TV room until it passed. We don't spend much time down there, so Mickey really loved to go down there and lay on the couch between us. We missed him so much last night.

I bought one of those balls awhile back where you can put treats in them and also record a voice. He played with it once or twice and that was it. Anyway I recorded his and my voice on it where I whispered "Bark" and he would bark, did it several times. It's a reminder of his sweet voice, but hard to listen to.

Peggy's Human, we will always have the same anniversary week. My husband's birthday was that Sat. the 26th. Not a happy birthday at all.

I still can't put away all of Mickey's things. His big fluffy mattress bed is still in a corner of our bedroom with some toys. He would sleep there and later during the night we would help him on the bed. I dreamed the other night that I was lifting him on the bed. That weight in my arms felt so real and I woke up. No matter how out of breath it made him, he would bark and try to fluff up his bed. He sure provided us with a lot of laughs.

I hope everyone is having a better day today.....God Bless..

[Juturna]

Dear LoveMYMickey,

Please accept my sincere condolences on the loss of your beautiful Mickey. And thank you for sharing a pic of him. He is sooo beautiful!

I love that you recored little Mickey's voice. And I totally relate to how you missed him on the sofa last night. There is no rush to putting away his things. You will do that when the time is right for you.

Feeling precious Mickey in your arms in the dream last night must have felt so good. I'm so glad that he is visiting you in your sleep.

Hope you will continue to let us know how you re doing.
With peace and sympathy,
Juturna

[Peggy's Human]

Hi LoveMyMickey,

I know exactly what you mean about encountering certain situations where their absence is so much more obvious. I've noticed that although I've made some progress adjusting to Peggy's absence in rooms I always use, when I go to another area, like outside to work, her absence is so much more pronounced than it now is in the areas I use more often. I've come to realize that every 'first' for an area or situation is going to take some time to adjust to her absence. I am so sorry that you are experiencing the same thing. For such small creatures, they make such a huge impact in our lives and hearts. I am also sorry that your husband's B-day wasn't a happy celebration. I realize you were in coping mode at that point since it immediately followed the passing of your beautiful Mickey. There is no way you could have found any joy that sad day/week/month. Life can certainally throw us difficult challenges and all we can do is try our best to cope and find our way through them. And I wish we shared a happier anniversary. While it's comforting to have support on this journey, I wouldn't wish this heart-break on anyone.

I totally understand your still having Mickey's bed and toys in your bedroom. I forced myself to pack up Peggy's 3 beds over a period of 4 or 5 weeks, but I still haven't been able to bring myself to pack up her basket of toys. Her basket of toys still sits in my laundry room, with her favorites of her last days sitting on top. I am still not ready to take those from the room. It would feel like I'm packing her up, as if she had never been here. You need to move at your own pace, only you will know when the time is right to move his things from your room. I am glad you have a recording of his voice. I do think that will bring you comfort down the road but I know it can cause a smile through tears at this stage of your healing. I watched a video of Peggy a week or so ago. She was barking while playing with my brother's dog. I did smile while watching but it was through tears. She was such a funny girl. Like your Mickey, she was a constant source of joy and laughter. She loved to make us laugh.

LoveMyMickey, I hope that life was kind to you today and that your heart begins to lighten soon. You will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

Peggy

P.S. I'm glad you're both safe and made it through the storm without damage or injury - I'm sure Mickey is watching out for you from the other side.

[moon_beam]

Hi, LoveMYMickey, thank you for sharing with us how you're doing. The physical absence of our beloved companions is deafening, isn't it? It seems as if even the structure of the house is grieving the loss of the "energy" of our precious companions.

As Juturna and Peggy have so compassionately shared with you, so I wish to affirm their comforting words to you: Take your time about putting away your precious Mickey's things. Some folks find it comforting to put everything away immediately, or to donate belongings to the local shelter or to their veterinarian. But it's also okay to keep things "as they are" for as long as you wish. Follow your heart on what is best for you to help you in your grief "adjustment" journey.

LoveMYMickey, I wish there were an easier way through this grief journey, but ufortunately it can only be traveled one day at a time, and I do so understand how each day is so unpredictable. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, LoveMYMickey, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[LoveMyMickey]

Hi Jurturna, Peggy's Human, and Moon_Beam,

Thank you all for your encouraging words. I hope everyone had a better day. My days are a little better.

I always cooked Mickey the best lowfat hamburger and brown rice, also plain baked chicken breasts. Today it was very hard to cook our hamburgers. If our hamburgers turned out too large, I would cut off a piece extra for Mickey. So today the extra pieces are just laying in the fridge.....I have a big bag of frozen plain chicken breasts. I don't know when I'll feel like cooking some of them. I still have a couple bags of Pupperoni, his favorite treat. His little eyes would sparkle and dance when I would offer him one especially late at night. I never got a video of Mickey, but I have a computer full of his pics. Also put them on flashdrives and a lot are printed. I have the cutest pic on my cellphone I took in Dec. last year. We look at it every night and tell him goodnight. That might sound weird to some, but it's a connection to him for us.

We did have a tornado come through our town night before last. The weather service said it was an EF-0, but it blew down trees and shingles off some houses. Our neighborhood was okay, but across town where our son and wife live, it was a hit and miss thing. One of son's trees was uprooted and fell on the wooden divider fence. Everybody was okay.

Later I will write about an illness Mickey had in 2009, but got well.

Have a good night all and God Bless.

[JoanneL]

Dear LoveMyMickey,

I am so sorry for the loss of your adorable little Mickey. He was very lucky to have had you and your husband as his parents. He was also lucky to have been able to die in his own home with his parents beside him. It sounds like he had a very good life with you. Now you are left to mourn and miss him. I have been missing my little Zoe now for 3 months and I still have good days and bad days. You know this is a roller coaster of emotions. We are so lucky to have this forum and the people who read the posts and offer us support.

I hope that you will get as much comfort from coming here as I have. One day at a time it will get easier but each of us grieves in our own way and our own time.

I am sending you a cyber hug. So glad you all were safe during the storms. We actually had some small areas of tornado damage here in Maryland.

[LoveMyMickey]

Dear JoanneL,

Thank you for your kind words. I am so sorry for your loss of Zoe. Yes it is a comfort to be able to come here and share our little furbabies' stories. I agree, one day at a time. I have pretty good days and bad days.

We are in for some more storms for the next 2 days and nights. I hope you don't get any more storms in your area.

God Bless you and a cyber hug back to you.

[Peggy's Human]

Hi LoveMyMickey,

I know what you mean about it being hard to prepare/serve different kinds of food. Food, of any kind, was such a trigger for Peggy. She'd be in a deep sleep, far away from the kitchen but the slightest noise of a knife or fork against a plate, a package ripping open, the fridge door opening, anything food related, was enough to snap her awake and bring her running to see what yummy delight may posssibly come her way if she were present. I used to joke that 'she'll have to be dead a month before she stops reponding to food!". That standing joke made her 4 week anniversary even harder and I wondered if she still had any interest when I was preparing food. Also, like you, I lost my 'walking garage disposal' - I always called her that with love. I still find myself cooking too much, she had me so well trained to ensure I'd have enough extra so she could enjoy what she had smelled cooking. I still have frozen and canned veggies that we used to mix in her food. I've noticed that I don't really touch them now, much like your chicken breasts. I also had a ton of treats that were still with us when she left, Pupperoni included. I brought her food and all the treats to a local non-kill resuce so the dogs waiting for a new home could have something they probably don't get all that often. But I'm also betting your wildlife friends would enjoy them, if you're so inclined.

I don't think it's weird at all to tell him good-night every night. I have pics of Peggy on my personal and work laptops and always tell her goodnight and I love her when I logoff. Being able to look in her sweet eyes helps me to feel connected with her and I'm sure you feel that way about your precious Mickey.

You continue to be in my prayers and I hope the storms aren't as dangerous as they anticipate. Please stay safe!

Take care,

Peggy

[LoveMyMickey]

Dear Peggy,

I read your thread and saw the beautiful pictures and poem. On this anniversary, I pray that you will find some comfort, but I know it is hard.

I, too, have a pic of Mickey on the desktop of my computer. I talk to him all the time and I tell him I love him many many times a day.

We had more tornado threats last night, early evening, and one around 4 a.m. We went to the basement both times. No damage here. We will have more tonight, very unusual this year. If Mickey were here and well, he would have enjoyed that. He was never afraid of storms. If he were here and feeling bad, it would have been hard on all of us.
When he would get hard breathing, he would lay down on his side and I would rub and comfort him. He would then settle down. At night he would wait for me in the hallway to follow him to the bedroom.

Take care and God Bless.

[Peggy's Human]

Dear LoveMyMickey,

Thinking of you and your sweet Mickey today, hoping you are doing well and safe from all the spring storms. I hope today was peaceful and you continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

take care,

Peggy

[LoveMyMickey]

Dear Peggy,

Thank you for your prayers. I need them today, I'm feeling very sad. We had a quiet Easter. I didn't cook any eggs until today and I thought about how Mickey loved eggs.

I hope you are doing well today. Take care and God Bless.

[moon_beam]

Hi, LoveMyMickey, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I can so relate to your not cooking eggs. When my Oslo was physically with me, I used to cook him noodles to help him with his digestive system. I had four packages of noodles left, and put them to the back of the shelf. I haven't cooked noodles since he joined the angels, and gave the four packages to my sister to take home. It will be a very, very long time before I will buy anymore noodles -- it just isn't any fun having them anymore.

LoveMyMickey, I wish there were an easier way through this "adjustment" journey. Each day right now is a "first" - - the first "without" - - and each first can be very painful, both emotionally and physically. The only "advice" I can offer you is to just take each day one day at a time, and to remember that you are not alone at any time during your journey.

LoveMyMickey, please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Peggy's Human]

Dear LoveMyMickey,

I am so sorry that Easter was so difficult. I know what you mean about the eggs being a painful remider. Peggy loved eggs so any time we make them (or see them) I think of her. I apoligize for not checking back sooner but it's been a very busy work week but you have been on my mind. I hope you're feeling a little better and are staying safe with all this wild weather going on.

As always, you remain in my thoughts and prayer.

Take care,

Peggy

P.S. Thank you for your sweet and supportive message on Peggy's 8 week anniversary. It was a very diffiuclt weekend but your gentle message did comfort me and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for that. Please take care of yourself.

[Gretta's Mom]

Dear LoveMyMickey,

What a beautiful, beautiful dog! Everything about her shows how much she was loved. And now it's that love which is turning on us for a while. I lost my best friend, Gretta (aka "the Dude") of April 10. She was a stray dog who was rescued at age 9+. After a wonderful foester mother, Gretta chose me at my first ever adoption event. Dogs are our hearts, they are our souls. Even though we know we will be together again in that perfect world to come, THIS world seems to have a huge hole in it - where our heart used to be.

I can fully understand not wanting to "pick up" your Mickey's things. I'm not moving a thing - Gretta's food and water bowls are where they were when we left on our final trip to the U of MN Vet School. Her dog bed, the best I could find anywhere (for her old bones) is still right at the head of mine - and oh how I miss her when I reach up to turn of my night lamp and say, "Night-night Doggie."

For sure Gretta has found Mickey and they are both basking when they want to, playing, eating, sleeping, chasing squirrels (for whom that world is obviously NOT perfect!) - all without pain, sickness, age - nothing but total happiness. They've "scored a home" in heaven. We're still on our ways there (hopefully). Maybe this is what is meant by the saying, "Try to be half as good as your dog thinks you are." It's SOMETHING to try to live up to.

This site has been a lifeline for me. We're all here for each other, sane but hurting, holding each other up while we all walk the same lonesome road. Mickey is (I never use the past tense for Gretta - she's NOT a 'was' she's an IS) the most beautiful dog who ever lived and loved.

Gretta's mom

[LoveMyMickey]

Dear Moon_Beam, Peggy's Human, and Gretta's Mom,

Thank you all for checking in with your kind and loving words since I was here last time. We stayed safe from the storms, but had to go to the basement several times. Things have calmed down now.

I went to the grocery store this morning and it breaks my heart to go past the dog food and especially to see the Pupperoni treats that Mickey loved. I had to go down that isle to get the cat food. We still feed the stray cats that come by our carport. I miss Mickey so much greeting me at the door when I come home. He always looked for his treats. So the tears are flowing again today.

About eating food that Mickey liked, my husband said we could eat the chicken breasts in Mickey's honor. He always tries to comfort me.

Gretta's Mom, I am so sorry for your loss of your beautiful dog. I agree, this forum is a lifeline for all of us, and I am grateful for it. I never use the past tense for Mickey either. I keep saying "he's my baby." We still tell him "goodnight" and that we love him.

I need a nap (Mickey would always take one this time of day too), so I hope you all have a peaceful day.

Take care...God Bless!

[moon_beam]

Hi, LoveMyMickey, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I can feel your heartache, heartbreak, as you do the shopping. Yes, I know what you mean about the furchild aisles. It's another blatant reminder that our hearts and homes are missing someone who is very precious.

LoveMyMickey, since love is eternal it is always alive, and so is your precious Mickey - - for he is always a heartbeat close to you as he watches over you from heaven's perfect garden. Keep talking to him for the sound of your voice will always be sweet to him.

Thank you again for letting us know how you're doing, LoveMyMickey. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how things are going for you whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam