Axl; The Worlds Most Wonderful Cat, Died from being neutered. Options

[Axl]

I can't get past this. Today is day 3. I took him for what EVERYONE says is the right thing to do. And he died from it! My pooor sweet baby. He was only 10 months old, adopted him when he was 6 weeks old, and at a time in my life when I needed him more than he needed me. I still need him. I arranged the neutring through the Humane Society. It was free and at a vet I had to drive over an hour to get to. In addition, while I had Axl, I adopted Rose. I only adopted Rose so Axl would have a friend. I had her spayed the same day as she was approaching 6 months. On the Monday following the procedure I called t he vet because it appeared Axl still had one testicle. They TOLD me they only remove one and do a similar procedure as to a vasectomy to disable the other. Axl was slow moving, but eating and drinking. Evertime I picked up Rose, she would pee. So, we make it through the week, Axl appeared to be better, (except he was a one testicle cat), Rose was still peeing sometimes, then Saturday morning I found Axl, laid out, stiff and dead. It was the worst thing ever.

I wrapped him and said my goodbyes, and still can't stop crying if he enters my mind.

I don't even want Rose. I am taking care of her, but she was Axl's cat.

I called the vet today and told him, and he said NOBODY would have told me that only one testicle was removed. And he had never had a cat die from being neutered. Mine is dead.

I am beside myself. I halfway want to give Rose away. And I am so angry at the injustice. We are preached at to get our pets neutred, and mine dies from it.

I miss him so much, I can't believe he is never coming back. He was one cool cat with the longest tail you'd ever see.

[moon_beam]

Hi, Axl, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Axl. Losing a beloved companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Losing a companion because of a medical procedure is traumatic.

Axl, if it would be of any help to you it might be helpful to place an inquiry with your State Veterinary Board. They would be able to review the situation and offer you information that may not be available to you at this time. Unfortunately there are no "guarantees" with ANY surgical procedure, but - - in my opinion for whatever it is worth - - when you called the humane society when your beloved Axl was having post-surgical concerns the vet SHOULD HAVE examined him. Placing an inquiry with the State Veterinary Licensing Board will investigate this. However, I know going this route will not bring your beloved Axl back to you physically, but it may prevent future incidents like this happening.

As to your precious Rose, I hope and pray with all my heart that you and Rose will be able to find comfort in one another. Your Rose is a "connection" to your beloved Axl, and she needs your comfort now, too. She has been through two traumatic events - - a surgical trauma that she is continuing to heal from AND the physical loss of her housemate Axl. She needs your loving comfort, as much as you need hers. Of course the decision is yours, and whatever decision you make will be the right one for you and Rose.

Axl, there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the seering pain of loss that is in your heart. There are no fast forward or delete buttons to press to speed up the grief journey or make it go away entirely. One very important thing for you to remember is that you are not alone in your grief journey. Each of us here do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

Axl, thank you so very much for sharing your beloved Axl with us. Perhaps sometime you will feel up to sharing picture(s) of him with us - - but only when / if you want to. Please know you and your precious Rose are in my thoughts and prayers, Axl, and that I look forward to knowing how you both are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Snicky's Mom]

I am so so sorry at the tragic loss of your dear Axl. My heart hurts for you. I wish you blessings. Jennifer in Texas

[Axl]

Thank u Moonbeam. This i smy first loss of life of anysort. And it has paralyzed me. I did not hear back from the Humane Society and the vet was very defensive. And to make matters worse, as I was ajusting to Rose being my "main squeeze" I opened the door this morning and Rose ran out. I tried to chase her down but she kept running from me.

So, at this moment, I have no cats, and I won't probably ever again.

My heart is so broken. They were the perfect pair.

[Axl]

Thank you Jennifer. My h eart hurts too, but I appreciate you taking time to try to comfort me.

[moon_beam]

Hi, Axl, thank you so very much for sharing with us how you're doing. Rose is very frightened right now, and I am so very sorry that she managed to escape from the security of her home. I'm hoping she will find her way back to you, and that you will be reunited with one another safe and sound.

Axl, it doesn't matter if it's our first experience with the physical loss of a companion or our fiftieth - - each experience is unique because each earthly journey we share with a companion is unique. Please know you and your prcecious Rose are in my thoughts and prayers, Axl, and that we are here for you to help you in every way we can.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[ASULLY86]

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your wonderful cat Axl. You, Axl, and Rose are in my thoughts. I hope that you and Rose find your way back to eachother soon.

I want to tell you that you did the responsible thing having your cat neutered- do not second guess this choice. You're right, we are all told that having our pets spayed/neutered is the proper thing to do to control the pet population and to prevent the births of animals that will just end up in shelters. 99% of the time I'm sure things go perfectly fine. You were being a loving, responsible, and caring parent to Axl and don't ever forget that. What happened to you and your cat was an awful tragedy and I sincerely hope that you will eventually have peace in your heart.

I wish you my sincerest condolences and support.

All the best,
Amanda

[xxForeverxx]

Hi

I just wanted to show my deepest sympathies for your loss.

I too had to say goodbye to my cat Chewy a couple of weeks ago at just the young age of 3 and a half and I am totally devastated. Nothing anyone says at the moment will help much in making you feel better but this website is the best place to come for support.

I hope you start to feel better soon and ASULLY86 is right you should feel no guilt at all as you were just being responsible.

I'm sorry to hear about Rose as well. Please do not give up on her. If she comes back to just give it time and I assure you a bond will begin to form....it may take time but you will get there. I got saved two kittens out of a ditch last summer and when I lost my Chew Chew I did not even want to look at the kittens as I felt terrible I just brought them into Chewy's house without asking. But now I am a little glad that I have had them around or else the house would have seemed even more lonely then it already does.

Please let us know if Rose comes back. And once again I am ever so sorry for this tragic loss.

xxForeverxx

[Axl]

IMoonbeam, I am sorryfor taking so long to respond. I kinda went off the deep end for a bit. But I am coming out the otherside. This house is dispicable. (haven't cleaned it since the tragedy, and it needed cleaning then). Rose came home 2 days later. That taught me a lesson. I DO WANT HER!!! I was beside myself while she was gone. Axl was impossible to keep in, but I never had that problem with Rose. I think maybe she went searching for Axl because since she came back, she has stopped meowing and searching the house. I have been much more affectionate with her.

I still am so sad that Axl is gone, but I have been out now twice participating in life, and in an hour I have something to do as well. The Humane Society did call me back, and told me how to file a complaint against the vet with the Board of Vets...something like that.

I can think about Axl without sobbing anymore. And Rose true to form heard the clicking of the keys, and now is trying to eat my fingers making it hard to type. Another vet has told me she feels Rose is truly OCD. Rose won't let you put ANYTHING down without knocking it to the floor.....silverware, keys, cosmetics, and her favorite, medicine bottles. (she will not let me type this) But Axl kept her entertained, but now it is me. And hearing the keyboard is another one of her 'things'.

Anyway, I am doing better, the memory of taking care of his body still gets to me, but he was an amazing cat, and I am glad I got to have him at least for a little while.

[Axl]

Amanda:

Thank you for responding to me. I do feel guilty. He was in his carrier purring all the way there. Now he is dead. I would have a hard time taking another one to have this procedure done. I know it is rare, but Axl would still be alive if not for me taking him to that vet. So I do carry guilt.

But, I am doing better, thank you for responding to me.

[Axl]

Forever:

Thankyou for responding to me. Rose came home two days later, which taught me that I do love her. My love was not as deep as for Axl, and initially I resented her for being the one who surivived. But, things are the way they are.

I know what you mean by having the two kittens which make you feel a little better, but it is not the same. I am sorry for your loss of Chewy. It really is overwhelming. And when it comes just out of the blue, as this forum is adaptly named "lighting strikes', it is so much worse.

Axl was a healthy 10 month old kitten. I adopted at 6 weeks. Some may think thats not long, you shouldn't be mourning so deep, but it was the best 9 months I've ever had. He was awesome.

Thanks again for your warm thoughts.

[xxForeverxx]

Oh hunny I know it's not the same I still think of my Chewy all the time when I hug my kittens or tell them off for doing something naughty, especially when my boy kitten Fudge lays on the bed with me as that was always Chewy's spot and I will always call it Chewy's spot. But no matter what, I had the kittens (i say kittens there like 8 months now) since they were 6 weeks and I took them out of a ditch where they had been left and they have been here for ages now, with me happily showing them love before so why do they deserve any less now? It is not there fault.

I am glad Rose came back. Maybe it was a sign from your Axl telling Rose to go back as you can look after her just as well as you did Him. She will never replace him And there will always be a big chunk of your heart that is just for him but over time Rose will be able to help heal the grieve you feel by filling a small part of the massive hole you feel inside you.

Glad to hear your doing A little better.

xxForeverxx

[moon_beam]

Hi, Axl, thank you so very much for sharing with us how you're doing. I am SO VERY GLAD that your precious Rose has returned safe and sound to your loving arms. It would not surprise me if she did indeed go looking for her housemate. My little Noah searched and looked for his big adopted kitty brother Eli for almost 2.5 years after Eli joined the angels in December 2006. Still there are times when he seeks out the places in the house that he shared with Eli, as well his beautiful baby sister Abbygayle who joined the angels in March 2010. I am so very glad you and your precious Rose have each other now for comfort and company.

While keeping "occupied" is helpful it is also important that you allow yourself the time and opportunity to grieve for your beloved Axl as you feel the need. Always remember you are among friends here who truly do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

Thank you again so much for sharing with us how you and your precious Rose are doing. Please know you and your precious little girl are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how things are going for you whenver possible.

Peace and blessigns,
moon_beam

[Axl]

Hi everybody! Thought I would post an update. Axl's death is approaching a one month anniversary.Although I still miss him terribly, my heart is healing. It still makes so sad to think of him or see pictures of him. But I can think of him without crying my eyes out. He should be still alive, we still don't know exactly why he died. The vet is adament that he removed both testicles, and that it was 1 week after neutering that he passed away. He was found stretched out on his side in the middle of a yard, dead. There were no injury's visiable. Many people are telling me he got hit by a car and then died, or he got into something posinous. I always thought cats went into hiding to die if they were hurting. I have no idea how or why he died. That bothers me a lot. He was only 10 months old. But boy did he have personality.

That left me with Rose. At first I resented her, but the day after Axl's death she escaped for about 1 day and 1/2. During that time I was freaking out that i had lost BOTH cats in a matter of days. Rose is not used to outdoors, she had just been spayed, and she was missing Axl. But she came home, and I was so relieved that I realized I do indeed love her very much. She is my crazy cat though. She is about 6 months old and solid gray.

Well last Thursday she slipped out again! I was beside myself because during this time, Rose and I had gotten very close. She follows me everywhere, attacks out of nowhere, and her weird habits were visible to me as I moved through the house. (toys in her waterdish, etc). She was gone Thursday, Thursday night, all day Friday. I went through the neighboorhood calling and calling, Every time I was home every hour or so I would go to the porch and call her. Well Friday night, I got home about 10:30 and she still wasn't home. At that time I KNEW she was dead. I cried and cried for her. Prayed for her, and asked God to PLEASE return her to me. My house was so lonely and laughless without her. I got on line and about every 30 min or so, would go to the porch and call her. NOTHING. Then at 2:00 am I was still up becuase I knew this night was the cutoff. If she didn't come home tonight, I believed she would never come back. At 2 I went out and called her again, nothing. But then, as I was turning to go in, and shut the door, she appeared on the porch! OMG I was beside myself with joy! I couldn't believe it! There she was! I let her in, picked her up and loved on her and she was purring. I put her down and off she went to her food. I got back in bed, and unlike her, she came up and sat on my chest and just rubbed my face, begging for me to pet her, putting her paws on my face, rubbing her head against my face, I was so covered in cat hair by the time she was through! She never acts like that! I think she was so happy to be home. I loved on her for at least an hour, of pure attention to her and she ate it all up.

Things are very different between Rose and I. I accept her 'disabilities' with joy. She is different. I set my keys down, and ask her to knock them off. She does. Everything is cute now, not irritating. And she has started sleeping ON me which is different.

I don't know if she still remembers Axl, but she is doing very well. We both are.

RIP sweet sweet Axl.

[xxForeverxx]

Hi

I was actually wondering the other day how you were doing as our losses happened around the same times. Although I know it must still be hard it is comforting to know that your heart is healing but at the same time you will always have a place for Axl. You are honouring him by allowing yourself to love Rose as that is what he would have wanted. I am so happy to here she returned safely again and that your relationship has taken another massive turn for the better

It is good you have come to the stage where you can smile at his photos. I think that is the best stage to possibly be at after grieving.

Thank you so much for letting us know how things are going.

xxForeverxx