My Danny Boy Is Gone, post about my cat Danny's death Options

[DannysMom]

moon_beam, thank you for your support. This is just not a good week for me. I have been irritable and restless, and crying off and on. I read over the pages of things they did for Danny at the emergency place. He had been diagnosed with cardiomyopathy and hepatopathy. They had to put him on oxygen on December 28, his last day. I felt so bad that I did not visit him on December 27, but I didn't want them to have to unhook him from the IV and his medication. I wanted him to get better. But I already knew he wasn't getting better after talking with my regular vet. Danny wouldn't eat voluntarily. It had been something like 4 or 5 days since he hadn't eaten, so he was going into liver failure. I still blame myself for not having known his heart condition sooner. And I still get upset at the first vet who took an x-ray and thought nothing of his enlarged heart. HELLO!!!!! Where did you get your veterinary degree, lady?! From inside a cracker jack box???

I can't wait for this week to be over with. This has been so hard for me going through Danny's 1-year angelversary. I get so restless and sometimes I still want to go and look for him. I can't help feeling this way. It's been really rough having the memories of last year come back and reminding me. I looked at his clay paw print last night and the whiskers that he had lost during his lifetime. I had saved some in a small bag. Danny had beautiful long whiskers. He looked so handsome in his tuxedo and I always told him how well-dressed he is.

This is only some of the stuff they did for him. I've got 4 or 5 pages of this.

[Pippin's Mom Kel]

Oh, Danny's Mom - I know the pain you're feeling. And I know very little makes it better. But I want you to look on that bill from the hospital, and notice something: buprenorphine. You probably know this, but it's pain medication. He was kept comfortable. Please remember that. And please remember that Danny knows how very much you love him, and how hard you tried for him. I understand the guilt you feel, but your handsome tuxedo boy would be having none of that, would he? They're so stoic, our little kitties.

Please know that you're in my thoughts right now. I wish I could give you a real hug, because it sounds like you really need one.

[moon_beam]

Hi, DannysMom, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I am so sorry this week, and especially today, is bringing so much deep sorrow to your heart. I do wish to affirm Kel's gentle words of comfort to you: "He was kept comfortable. Please remember that. And please remember that Danny knows how very much you love him, and how hard you tried for him. I understand the guilt you feel, but your handsome tuxedo boy would be having none of that, would he?"

I know in time it will be comforting for you - - truly comforting - - to know that your beloved Danny is now completely restored to his former youthfulness - - no more pain, no more suffering. He is happy and contented in the company of the angels as he patiently waits for your appropriate time to join him in eternal joy. But this peace and comfort in your heart can only happen in your own way and in your own time, DannysMom. Although the calendar may indicate that the first year of loss has been endured does not mean that our deep sorrow magically disappears. Please know each of us here do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Mindy and Shelley kindly, my friend, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Danny's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. I thank you for the blessing of your friendship, DannysMom, and of your precious Mindy and Shelley. Please know you and your precious girls are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing, and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Danny and Tina.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[DannysMom]

Kel and moon_beam...thank you both for your support. Kel, I could indeed use a real hug. I told myself I would remember my Danny today at 2:54 p.m., but I got so busy at work and I blocked it out. Before I knew it was already 4 p.m. I thought of him on the drive home today. Last year December 28 was a nice and balmy day, too nice for my sweet Danny to die that day. I know...life goes on...but there is a feeling of sadness and emptiness that remains. The sky doesn't seem quite as blue and the grass doesn't seem quite as green. Everything "feels" sort of grayish. He is gone. And I can't believe it's been 1 year. Last year I didn't think it possible for me to go on after he was gone. I was so very depressed and it hurt so much. I put a picture in his little memorial frame last night and hung his last rabies tag in empty space in the frame. The frame says "Faithful companion, beloved friend". I very much feel his absence today.

Kel, yes, I know what buprenorphine is. Shelley had to take it for a few days, and it made her sleepy and not want to eat. So, I really question why they gave it to him since that would have further reduced his appetite along with the load of antibiotics they were giving him. This place literally fleeced me, because they are a money making machine. They are a "referral center" and that's how they make money, to shuffle your furry friend from one specialist to another. I would have gladly paid more as that wasn't the issue, but I question what I really got for all this money. I will NEVER, NEVER take one of my cats to that horrible place again!!! Dr. Wathen was the incompetent one who misdiagnosed him and missed his enlarged heart. My goodness, she should have detected him wheezing. But she was so "set" on diagnosing him with pancreatitis. Probably wanted to go home, because it was Christmas Day.

SHE X-RAYED HIM AND HE HAD AN ENLARGED HEART. Listen to this, I got this from ehow.com:

If your cat is suffering from congestive heart failure your veterinarian will notice the following signs and symptoms during the examination, according to Dr. Welton: irregular heart beat, high blood pressure, crackly lung sounds, muffled heart beats, distended belly full of fluid and enlarged heart and lungs in an X-ray.

Notice what it said? "ENLARGED HEART". How could you miss this, Dr. Wathen??? Are you stupid? She should have noticed the other signs as well. She should have noticed the fluid in his lungs as well, but no, he was probably just another cat to her and she wanted to go home for Christmas Day.

My sweet Danny boy, I am sorry you had to suffer because of this doctor's incompetence. I am sorry I didn't take you to your regular vet on December 23. This is why I am hypervigilant with my "girls" now. I don't want to miss something, no matter how small or insignificant it may look. My sweet loving kitty boy, you are dearly missed today. I know I will see you again one day. I love you.

[moon_beam]

Hi, DannysMom, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I truly can understand your anger at Dr. Wathen. An enlarged heart is truly a serious symptom and should never be ignored. I felt the same way about a vet who did not take me seriously about my beloved Eli, and after two futile consults with this vet - - his regular care provider - - I obtained a second opinion and switched all of my furkids' records to another veterinary practice - - the practice that Noah has had since he was a baby kitty. I simply could not trust this vet again. And when I think of what the previous vet said to me about Eli I can still feel the anger surge - - it is a feeling that never completely goes away.

And with yesterday being your and your beloved Danny's first year angel-vesary I know how much the memories of the events of last year are still so very painful for you. Hopefully in time, as I have found as well, your memories of your beloved Danny will be able to be focused more on the wonderful times you share together - - both during his earthly journey and now with his sweet Living Spirit continuing to share your earthly journey as he always has and always will.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Mindy and Shelley kindly, my friend, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Danny's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. I thank you for the blessing of your friendship, DannysMom, and of your precious Mindy and Shelley. Please know you and your precious girls are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing, and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Danny and Tina.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[xxForeverxx]

Hi DannysMom

I am sorry I have not been on over christmas. I did avoid this place at christmas because of how hard it was without Chewy. Of course I know it was harder for you understandably and I can not imagine how you have been feeling. In fact you did the right thing by coming to this site to people who care and really can make you feel not alone. I should have thought about that.

I know how much you want to be angry with the vet and you have every right to be. But it is something sadly we cannot change what happened. And each day we think about the events that happened we take a step back into despair which is something your Danny would not want for you. I feel like the events with Chewy happened to quick and wish the vet had given me more options or I had at least thought about my decision longer. I try not to think about it though as it is something I cannot change however much I want to. I know it is not that easy though especially after so many years with your beloved Danny and at what is suppose to be such a happy time of the year.

I sent my love up to Danny on his angel-versary and I do again today.....extra love for an extra special cat. Always remembered thanks to his loving owner.

xxForeverxx

[DannysMom]

xxForeverxx, thank you for your kind words. As you can imagine, the 1st anniversary of Danny's death was very difficult for me. Some things I just haven't been able to come to terms with. It's not like I think every day about the incompetent vet who misdiagnosed Danny, but it did bother me on the anniversary of his death. He may have recovered if he had been treated earlier. They left him hanging in limbo for a day, because one of their specialists wasn't going to be in until the 27th, so Danny was suffering needlessly with no resolution for more than a day. What this place does -- and this is what makes me so angry and I want other pet parents to be aware of this -- is they shuffle pets from one specialist to another and this is how they make money. They're just a money making machine, that's all. I'm sure my regular vet could have diagnosed Danny just the same without consulting a "specialist", but it was Christmas Day and they were closed. I can't help that I still get angry with the vet who misdiagnosed Danny. She seems to be more into horses and those kinds of animals from reading her bio, so maybe she doesn't even like cats. She certainly didn't give me the impression that she cared all that much about him. I am not going back into despair...it's just that these things bother me and I wanted to just "vent" on here.

Moon_beam, thank you for sharing with me about your kitty son Eli and how he was misdiagnosed. I am glad that you did get a second opinion. I always like it when a vet is thorough and has a questioning attitude instead of thinking it is just routine and looks like such-and-such. Thank you for understanding that what happened to Danny is very painful for me on his 1st angelversary. Add to that the fact that it's the holidays and that I miss him and probably will still miss him next Christmas. He had been with me for over 10 years.

I wish you could have known Danny. He was so sweet and lovable and playful, just a wonderful kitty boy. He was always so good and listened and never caused any trouble. I sure miss my little friend.

I will continue to post about Danny as the occasion arises, but it will be under the Pet Memorials and Tributes where he already has a topic.
I can't believe I made it through this long year without my sweet kitty boy. My life changed profoundly in many ways after he died. Years ago when my Dad died someone told me that I may take on some of my Dad's personality traits. I wonder if it is the same with our furry friends.

My sweet Danny boy, I KNOW I will see you again one day and what a wonderful reunion that will be!

[moon_beam]

Hi, DannysMom, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. When it comes to the holidays it doesn't matter how much time passes - - we will always remember our loved ones - - whoever the life form - - who are now with the angels.

Thank you for sharing your beloved Danny with us, DannysMom. I hope today is treating you and your precious Mindy and Shelley kindly, my friend, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Danny's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. I thank you for the blessing of your friendship, DannysMom, and of your precious Mindy and Shelley. Please know you and your precious girls are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing, and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Danny and Tina.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[xxForeverxx]

Hi DannysMom

I thought I would leave you one last reply on here before following you in the pet memorial and tributes page. I will set one up or Chewy after tomorrow too so not to take up space for newcomers but still have our furry friends just as much remembered and appreciated s they so deserve to be.

It must be so hard I always think that if your a vet you should love every animal there is out there. Not pick and choose who your favorites are. Sometimes I think some vets just do it for the money (that is no way a hit at all vets as I know the majority are wonderful but in any job there are always a couple who just do not care as much). I really am so sorry that the whole thing could not have been any easier for you. It is never easy seeing a loved one in pain but to not be able to do anything to help is even worse. You did help him though.....more than you know.....by just trying to get him help and over the years showing him constant love and affection. That is why he rewarded you by being such a special cat. A very special cat indeed from what I have read over the last year about him.

You say you wish we could have known him.....I feel like I did just a little from your posts. I am sure he misses you so much too but you will meet again one day.

See you in the pet memorials and tributes.....and you Danny Thinking of you DannysMom and all your furbabies past and present.

xxForeverxx

[DannysMom]

I can't believe it has been almost two years since Danny passed away. I can't even look at the Christmas decorations in the streets without being sad and crying. I'm supposed to feel happy, but seeing all these pretty decorations and bright lights really brings me pain. I cried yesterday when I put up the Christmas tree. I wonder if the pain will ever really go away and if I will ever have a really happy Christmas again like they used to be. I put Danny's wreath ornament on the tree and it looks so pretty. It is a nice way to remember him this time of year. I sure miss my sweet, precious little kitty boy.

[Tom's Dad]

Hello DannysMom.

What a beautiful wreath to remember your precious Danny. Angelversaries are hard, it will be 3 years for Sir Thomas next Sunday. I don't even put up decorations. But then, I have not for years. It has less to do with Tom than the fact the holiday has held no meaning for me for many years.

Don't put pressure on yourself because you think you are "supposed" to be happy, and let yourself feel what you need to. Our thoughts are with you.

TTT

[DannysMom]

Tom's Dad, thanks for stopping by and for your kind words. I went to the pet cemetery today to put up Tina and Danny's christmas wreaths. It was so hard and I started crying again. I can't help it. It is very painful for me. I know my sweet Danny is in a better place, but I miss him so this time of year. Christmas was always so special with Danny because he made it special. He just had this sense of awe and wonder and he so enjoyed the bright lights and decorations. With the "girls" it's not quite the same. They don't seem to grasp the meaning of Christmas like Danny did, although Shelley really does enjoy sleeping under the tree. I think Shelley gets it more than Mindy does, or perhaps I'm wrong.

[DannysMom]

I found this photo that I didn't know I had. This was taken in December 2001, Danny's first Christmas with me. He wasn't even one year old yet. Danny looks so happy and relaxed in this photo, and I'm so glad I found it. It made me smile. I remember well how he enjoyed his first Christmas with me so much. He loved sleeping under the tree, and he was such a good little kitty boy, not damaging the tree in any way. I miss him very much this Christmas season, and every time I look at decorations I think of Danny. He always made my Christmas so much more special.

[CritzyJ]

Oh, what a beautiful boy! I know this Christmas season is hard for you and I think of you often. Rest in the blessings of the times you had with him. Easy for me to say, I know, but I. too, miss my boys at this time. They know we love them! I just need to rest in that.

Blessings to you, Dannysmom!

CritzyJ

[DannysMom]

CritzyJ, thank you for sharing my Danny boy with me and for thinking of me. I do like looking at his pictures, I just wish I had taken more in his lifetime. I don't even have a video of him, but I do have some videos of Tina. I know you've got your hands full with little Mary, but I'm sure you miss your two boys. I really like their names, Joe and Steve. I can tell how much they meant to you and they lived long happy lives with you. Still you must miss them so much. It has only been a few months since they passed on. I am sure you miss their little routines they had with you. Senior pets are so sweet. They probably got plenty of TLC from you in their senior years. I just wish Danny had been with me longer. He wasn't even 11 years old when he passed on. His heart condition came on so suddenly and I had missed the symptoms, thinking he was just a lazy, laid-back cat when he was really conserving energy. When he got so sick it was the saddest Christmas I ever had. It hadn't been a good year for me anyway and I almost didn't put up my tree, but I put it up just for Danny and played his favorite Christmas CDs for him. It was so sad seeing him lie down under the tree for the last time.

[DannysMom]

This morning I had a sweet reminder of my Danny boy. As I was standing in the kitchen I heard one of the cabinet doors bang shut several times. Danny used to open the cabinet door where his food was stored with his paws and let it bang shut to tell me he was hungry. As I looked down I could see Miss Mindy's little paw open the door and then she let it bang shut. I had to smile! She has never done this before. And now she seems to think there is some kind of "fiend" in the food cabinet. She stands in front of the door and hisses and tries to open it. I opened it for her and let her peek inside so that she can see there are no "ghosts" inside, but she is not convinced. Poor Mindy!

[Tom's Dad]

Hi DannysMom. How sweet

I know the feeling. Tom used to be obsessed that there were "monsters" in the furnace closet and would scratch to get in there. Theresa never did that when Tom was with us. Tang didn't either when I first got him. Now they both do it

[DannysMom]

I survived Christmas. It was enjoyable, but through it all I thought of my Danny boy and how his last Christmas was so sad, how he spent it all alone at the vet. I felt so bad for leaving him there and it was so strange not having him around. I just could not wait to drive to the vet two years ago today and to see my little boy. Oh, how sick and miserable he was. They were giving him the wrong meds as they had not yet gotten the right diagnosis. They brought him in on thick, soft blankets, with an IV attached to him, and his fur was shaved in various places. He still wouldn't eat and I was just beside myself. I couldn't shake the feeling that something very bad was going to happen and that I was going to lose him. Seeing my little boy so sick was so hard to bear for me. I stood at his grave yesterday and looked at his beautiful granite stone with his picture and remembered what a sweet cat he was, so friendly, playful and loving. I surely do miss him, especially this time of year. It is still hard for me.

[sher_mark]

Hi DannysMom,
I thought of you at Christmas this year when I put up Rusty's ornament and I knew your own memories would bring you some sadness too. You have an anniversary coming up and I just logged on to let you know you are being thought of and to wish you strength. Take care my friend.
Sher_Mark

[DannysMom]

sher_mark, thank you so much for thinking of me this Christmas and thank you for your well wishes. Today is has been two years since my Danny passed on, but I still remember everything so well. I had to cry yesterday when I remembered picking him up from the emergency vet. There he was in his little carrier, looking at me with those beautiful green eyes, expecting me to take him home and instead I took him to be euthanized. I had to shut off my feelings and not think about it. I had such a hard time just looking at him in the car. He must have sensed something was wrong as he meowed so much and he had an accident in his carrier. I still feel so bad about that. Today is a day almost like two years ago, mild and sunny. I am feeling so sad and weighed down. Danny was so special in so many ways and I miss him dearly.