A Written Piece In Remembrance Of Sophie.., Something I wrote while reflecting on memories of my dear, sweet girl. Options

[Ravyn]

So. It's nearly been a year since I lost you; November the ninth. As the season changes and the weather grows colder, old feeling and memories come back. Bitter-sweet..
Sweet as I remember the way you smell... Did you know scent is the strongest memory sensor? Even the smallest whiff of something can bring up an entire array of memories. I learned that in Psychology and Biology. Mostly Psy. I remember the way you smell because some of your toys still smell like you. I am not ashamed to say that I've kept one in a plastic bag to preserve the scent for as long as possible, though it's already starting to fade.. Perhaps I will release that toy from it's encasing. Free it to face the world without you, as I have done. 0r maybe I will let it linger in your essence, just a little bit longer.
Sweet because the air is cool, and it reminds me of when I first laid eyes on you. It was Thanksgiving of 2004. You were drawing close to your sixth birthday when you passed on. I think you would have liked what I'd had been planning for you. A trip to the park to play, a nice long walk, just you and me. And of course gifts and treats in abundance.
Thanksgiving.. you were so small, I could barely understand that you were real. And you cried, oh how you cried.. You cried until I picked you up, then you nuzzled under my chin and closed your eyes and you were content because you knew I was the one to have you.
Sweet. Sweet because of the way your eyes looked in the fall. A beautiful shade of brown.. the fall time colors brought them out all the more.
Bitter.. The feel and crunch of leaves beneath my knees as I knelt beside your still form. The smell of wet, rotting underlayers as I pulled the freshly-fallen leaves from your body. The sharp metallic scent of blood as it wet my fingertips, pulling lightly from the leaf by your mouth as it was already starting to dry.
Bitter.. Bitter the road so hard beneath my falling footsteps, and the harsh glint of the blood seeping into it's cracks. Amethyst glinting in the crimson, like tiny gems set in a pool of rubies. It didn't make sense, but did it have to?
Bitter the look in your eyes, already world apart from me. Nothing. A final glint of what had happened to you, just before those beautiful brown eyes glazed over and saw no more.
Bitter the red truck that bore away with your blood on the front bumper. Bitter the checkered shirt of the simple country man who will remember you for years to come, I'm sure. He did right after he had done wrong, and I thank him for trying. But there was nothing to be done.
Bitter the way the wind swept through my hair, brushing it back over my shoulders as I knelt and looked down upon your face.
Bitter the ugly hole in your side, crimson with blood and bone exposed. The precious within you opened for the world to gaze upon in disgust. They didn't see what I saw.
Bitter the sheet we wrapped you in, white soon stained with red. Later brown
Bitter the hole we lowered you into, not quite big enough. Had to be widened twice for you.
Sweet the velvet feel of flowers we dropped onto your covered body, whispering prayers while tears ran freely. I touched your head one last time, stroked gently around your closed eyes, kissed your forehead.
Bitter the longing I had to be like you.. alone and cold in the ground. Never to see the light again, never to feel the air or taste the dew in the grass.
Bitter the thoughts, feelings.. they swallowed me whole and ate at my soul until I felt no more. Numb from the core out, it was so long before I could breathe again. Breath with meaning.
There's no room there for me, there with you. There was barely room enough for you, because you did not belong there, you fool.
Sweet the day when you returned to me, though not in the form I knew and loved. I held onto your body for so long I forgot your spirit. You reminded me.
Sweet the day when you found me in my dreams. You chased my nightmares and dried my tears. Showing yourself not to me alone, also to my friend and my pet. You told her that you are okay. You gave her a message to give me. You played with the dog, Dolce. You entertained her and she took delight in it.
You touched me, and showed me your new life. Everything's alright, you said. I'm alright, you said.
Bitter the passing from this world to your's, but sweet the knowing that one day I till be there.. the other side belongs to you now. Bitter the distance but sweet that there are two points for distance to even be between.


I miss you baby girl.. I forever will. I miss the years we will never have, for you were but a baby.. a child compared to the life you could have enjoyed. Never will I see you grow up. Never will I see you grow old. Never will I see you returning to me after a day of playing outside. That's all you were doing that day.. just playing. Playing in the road, although I told you not to. Just having fun.

[i]© Ashly J. 2011[/i]

[Gretta's Mom]

Oh Ravyn

Please accept all the condolences in my heart! How awful to have had to witness the terrible accident that took Sophie's earthly life. That's a special suffering - much worse than those of us who were lucky enough to have our animals for a long time anad then when they were old, set them free and send them to the Perfect World.

Bitter, sweet, bittersweet. It's going to be, as Moonbeam says, a roller coaster of horrors for a while. Rest assured that the most powerful and protective thing in this universe is a mother's love. No matter how awful a circumstance, a mother's love wraps a being in a protective blanket through which all fear and loneliness and sadness - everything hurtful - is excluded. It is your love that sustained Sophie in that awful moment. Because of your love, she's OK. Yes, we on earth think she suffered, but surrounded by the protective cocoon of your infinite love, she passed to the Perfect World unscathed and untramatized.

You are a might poet and a might strong soul to have written that powerful piece to your Sophie so soon. It's everything everyone who has ever loved and been loved by their spirit animal wants to say - and most of the time cannot. Sophie truly IS your spirit animal - one with whom you've exchanged pieces of each other's souls and carry them with each other forever. This is a rare gift and, Ravyn, you and Sophie have it. You're not two beings, you're parts of a single being - have been since the beginning of time and will be until its end. Love is forever in both directions and it's infinite - the more that is given, the more there is to give.

Please take very gentle care of yourself, Ravyn. You did the absolute kindest thing you could have done - even though it hurts like *()&)*(& now. I'f they haven't met already, I'll send my Gretta (the kindest chocolate lab who ever lived) to meet your Lil'Dog and the two old doggie can bask in the sun and exchange stories about their moms. They're sending love and guidance down to us all the time. They're still on their jobs and they love it.

Someday we WILL be reunited with them, never to be parted again.

Peace and blessings,

Gretta's mom

[Ravyn]

Thank you.. your words are so sweet. I am attending a Silent Supper in celebration of the spirits this Hallowe'en, and I hope to feel my Sophie attend with me.