My Little Molls Options

[Molls825]

Yesterday my boyfriend and I made the tough decision to put our cat Molly to sleep. It was one of the hardest decisions I had to make in my life. It all happned so quickly. This past Monday we took her to the vet because we knew someething was wrong with her. Her belly had gotten really big and we could see and feel her spine. We thought that she just had a bad case of worms because I brought home a kitten from the shelter I volunteer at and he had worms. When we got to the vet they wanted to test for feline lukemia but that came back negative. The next step was to take a full blood sample and thats what told us what was wrong with her. She was dignosed with auto immune disease...her immune system was basically attacking itself. Her white blood cells were attacking her red blood cells. The vet told us the prognosis wasn't good, she had a 50/50 chance of survival if we gave her meds. We decided that we had to give the meds a chance and brought her home. By Wednesday she was not looking any better, so I made an appointment to bring her back the next day. She had lost 2 lbs in 3 days, so she was down to 5 lbs and also lost more red blood cells. At that point she was very dehydrated and wasn't eating, so the vet gave us the options of force feeding her, doing a blood transfusion or putting her to sleep. We couldn't afford the blood transfusion and she couldn't keep food down...so unfortunatey that left us with putting her to sleep. We knew she was really suffering and didn'y look good at all. We sadly decided to put her to sleep The vet brought her in so we could see her one last time. I just hugged her and petted her and didn't want to let her go. I decided that it would be too hard to be in the room with her when they put her sleep and my boyfriend felt the same way. That was one of my biggest regrets. I REALLy wish one of us was with her. I want to go back to yesterday just so I could be there when she went. I feel aweful that she was alone...she was only 2 years old so she was still little. I keep picturing her little sad, sick face in my head...I am having a really hard time with all of this. The only time I was not upset since it happened was today at work because I kept busy but now that I am home and the Molls was not here to greet me at the door I am crying all over again. I just wish I could see her one last time and to be with her in her final moments