Jack And Puck Options

[Jack n Puck'...]

Jack is my loving 2 year old orange tabby who came to me at 6 weeks old, hungry and scared. Puck is my loving 11month old baby who was saved from a mother that deserted him at 1 week old. Both of these boys stole my heart the moment our eyes met. My Jack is in the world somewhere alone, he hasn't been seen in 12 days... and my Puck was buried on Monday morning. I can still have hope that Jack will find his way home but what is killing my heart is knowing Puck will not ever run thru the house, chase his toys, allow me to pet him again. It hurts so bad I can hardly stand it, I cry, I can't focus, trying to work is nearly impossible. I feel like I let him down, he was droopy last week and I thought he missed his brother Jack, he had a fever on Sunday and I thought "I'll take him to the Vet in the morning" he didn't hold on that long. I still can't believe it, how could he leave so quickly, how could a fever one day take him away, how did I not know, why did I wait, did he suffer... my heart hurts, I can't stop thinking of "what if"... when will this stop hurting?

[Bobbie]

Dear Jack n Puck's Mom,

Please accept my deepest condolences on the passing of your loving Puck and my sorrow for your missing Jack. This double loss is one of the greatest hurts that a human must endure. Both cats sound like they were adored and so well taken care of and they knew it! Words are inadequate for me to convey the sorrow for your suffering and, at the same time, the understanding that all of us at Lightning Strike have for you and your feelings at this time. We have each suffered through the loss of a beloved companion, some more than others. We are not here to judge, tell you what to do, or make decisions for you.

We are here to hold onto you, listen to your stories and your feelings, cry with you and even laugh with you (when the time comes). We are here to grieve with you and hopefully celebrate with you. We will all become your been-ther-done-that friends, like no others can possibly be. Whatever you need from us, it will be given. Whatever you say here will be kept here and honored. YOU ARE NOT ALONE at all!

My Trevor, a 13 year old, abused, brain damaged C-o-c-k-e-r Spaniel passed away about 3 weeks ago. To me it feels like yesterday and at the same time like he's been gone far too long. We had him and loved him for 2 years and 2 months and he so loved us, too. We made the decision to have him put to sleep, in our home, when his quality of life had diminished to the point that he was just existing. That was the hardest thing I have ever done and I've had 5 other spaniels over the past 30 years. I hurt as much today as I did 3 weeks ago. The hurting, for me, will never stop, rather it will change into something much more manageable, kinder and gentler. That takes time.

You, my dear Jack n Puck's Mom, are at the very beginning of your grief and anticipatory grief journey. Everything you feel, think and say are very normal for this time and for as much time as you need. You losses were sudden and quick, with little to no time to anticipate or plan for anything. Even planning doesn't help a whole lot, but I think I can lean on that a bit. My heart remains shredded and my soul shattered. Many, many others will give you messages that are much better, more eloquent and make more sense than mine usually do. Look for them and read them, as many times as you need to. And write to us to let us know how you are doing and how things are lookig for Jack. We care, all of us, we really do!

For now, sweet Jack N Puck's Mom, all you need to do is "be". Your real friends and your new cyber friends will help you with the rest. And, yes, my friend, your thoughts and your feelings (hurting, confusion, anger, guilt, etc) will change for the better WITH TIME. Give yourself enough time.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your wonderful kitties.

Blessings.....................
Bobbie

[moon_beam]

Hi, Jack n Puck's Mom, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Puck and your missing little boy Jack.

Our forum friend Bobbie has said many things that are in my heart, so please read her response to you often. Unfortunately we are mere humans. We are not blessed with the wisdom of foreknowledge - - only the benefit of hindsight which is the source of our guilt - - all the "why did I" "why didn't I' - - and on and on and on.

Since your beloved Puck was not exhibiting any signs of pain or vomitting or diarrhea or bleeding - - the normal thought is to wait and see and if things are not better by the morning to call the vet. I am so very sorry for the illness that claimed your beloved Puck's physical life and prevented you the opportunity to help him get better. The suddenness of losing your beloved Puck is heart shattering, and my heart goes out to you.

This grief journey can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time. As Bobbie has already so comfortingly shared with you, unfortunately right now there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the seering pain that is in your heart. Hopefully as your deep grief eases you will be able to embrace your beloved Puck's sweet Living Spirit and know that he is forever with you in your heart and your memories - - he is always a heartbeat close to you.

One of the many things you need to remember is that you are among friends here who truly do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Perhaps sometime you will feel up to sharing pictures of your precious Jack and beloved Puck -- if / when you would like to.

I truly do hope and pray that your precious Jack returns home safe and sound.

Jack n Puck's Mom, please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Gretta's Mom]

Dear Jack and Puck''s mom

I cannot imagine the suffering your are going through right now. Please accept my sincere sadness with you at the passing of your darling Puck into the Perfect World. All of us have been through something like this as we know how your heart must be shattered and your tears endless. All this is compounded a million-fold by your other darling, Jack, being somewhere in this world but unknown to you where. Yours is one of the saddest stories I've ever heard and I'd like to give you all my strength to use as you try to cope with this unspeakable tragedy.

MoonBeam has said it most truly - an animal, especially a young, small one can get sick fast. All animals are experts at hiding their sickness - so who among us would not have let the baby sleep and taken him to the doctor in the morning. I know I would have. My Gretta (the kindest chocolate lab who ever lived) passed into that world on April 10. Like so many many others in the Lightning Strike family, I have wondered and wept through all of the 'How could I not have ...." and "If only I had ..." and "Why didn't I ...?" I can tell from your words that you love Puck beyond measure and that you did the absolute BEST a human can do for a fur baby. Puck is, in the words of my wonderful vet (the ultimate man of science, which makes it so surprising), in a safe place now. Every word you say to him is music to his ears, and for every tear you cry he whispers, "Thank you for loving me SOOOOOO much, Mom. I have the best mom in the world."

I'll say fervent prayers for a miracle for your Jack - that Someone or Something will guide his steps back to you. As Bobbie says, when your heart has been shot out with a high-powered rifle and you're bleeding all over, your only job is to breathe - literally - one breath after another. That's all. If they come as sobs, that's OK. if they come as soft silent sights, that's OK, too. That's all you have the strength to do right now - and it's enough.

All of us here at LS are your family. We hurt when you hurt and rejoice when you rejoice - and right now (even for me after four months) rejoicing seems a ridiculous idea. One at a time we are weak and broken, but together we are strong. We're here, holding hands and hearts. Those of us a little farther along the rough and rocky road of grief always have strength to give to the newly bereaved - those who are shocked into not being able to do or think anything.

Plese call on us any time of the day or night, Jace and Puck's mom. Nighttime is rough for many of us so there are always plenty of us listening in the midnight hours.

Here are all my prayers for a Jack-miracle and all my strength for you to lean on as you grieve for darling Puck.

Until tomorrow,

Gretta's mom

[Gretta's Mom]

Hello Jack and Puck's mom

I hope you got a little rest last night. It's hardm hard, hard, I know. I lit a candle for you and have been praying and crying for you constantly. You are the best mom a kittie can ever have. Your heart is SO good. It's the mind that goes beserk at these times - whirling around with all kinds of self-blaming sentences. Let them go .... I know ... that seems like "easy for her to say." Treasure in your heart that your Puck searched the universe over for you, his one-and-only mom, found you, put himself in your path. You answered his call - and your heart was changed forever.

We love you, Jack and Puck's mom (someone you'll always be) adn each one of us is sharing some strength with you today. Wrap yourself in the love and care that we, other people in your life (if you're lucky enough to have them), and the Perfect love of both Jack and Puck for the best mom on earth - ever.

May there be some moments of respite for you today. I'll check back later.

Go well, my friend.

Gretta's mom

[Bobbie]

Good Morning Jack n Puck's mom,

I don't know if your mornings are "good" right now, but I wish you whatever bit of "good" you cane take from it. I thought about you and Jack and Puck all day and night. I am so, so sorry that you are having to suffer so much. I am willing to take anything you want to give me to make your burden easier.

I will tell you, though, that I believe you are the best mom for Jack and Puck. They could have askd for no one better and they knew it! Give yourself the credit you deserve for choosing to save two precious lives, giving them the love, care and devotion they so deserved. I know, right now, that is one of the last things you are thinking about, is yoursef, but just try it for a moment. It still takes me extra effort on my part to accept when others tell me how much I loved and did for Trevor when no one else would. What else is one supposed to do? Exactly that. And you did it, too.

I'm praying the Jack will find his way back to his home and your heart. If that is not possible, my prayer is that he has found a home where the folks are being kind to him and love him, too. Some day I will tell you the story of a very lucky cat named Tommy Boy. Remind me, OK? But not right now. (It has a hapy ending all the way around.)

Today we imagine what Puck is enjoying in his Heavenly Home over the Rainbow Bridge. He is totally healthy, happy, and probably even a bit hungry. But he has food and water and treats available all the time. He's meeting new friends, of all sorts, every single day. And he's checking on you all the time. He doesn't want you to feel sad, but totally understands (now) what us humans have to go through. As Moon Beam has said to me, so often, Puck is in your heart and your soul - right there every second - never away from you, but in a spirit way instead of a physical way. Try to hold onto that. It helped me.

Offering you some peace and serenity today. Will check in again later!

Blessings......................
Bobbie

[Jack n Puck'...]

Thank you Gretta's Mom, Bobbie, moon_beam, your words are so kind and let me know I'm not alone. I was finally able to eat yesterday which was a first since Sunday night. It's so hard to focus, here at work I get distracted and can't concentrate, then I go home and see both of my babies everywhere I look. I know you're heard this and all said it, "it's just not fair"... why do we lose the babies we hold so dear to our hearts? I know that I have to quit saying "I should have known" "Why didn't I know" "why did I wait?" It's so hard to get past with Puck, I feel like I let him down when he needed me the most. It hurts so bad at moments I feel like I can't breathe, I can be driving or sitting at my desk and bust into tears. I try to remember all the silly things and those times he would drive me mad which make me smile, then I go back to the last time I saw him and wish I would have known he was trying to tell me he was so sick. I keep hope in my heart that my Jack will come home, I have received two calls from shelters thinking they had him but they were false alarms. I check the local shelters several times a day along with Craigslist and petfinder. There are moments I feel selfish for searching so hard for my Jack and overlooking the babies in need of homes but I'm not to that point yet, I can't imagine giving my heart away again. I say a prayer every night for both of my babies, hoping they are both happy and playing and missing me just a little.

It just hurts so bad!

I have at home 4 dogs, which keep me busy and one special girl, my 12 year old cat named Inky. I've read advise that I need to give them even more attention now, I know they miss their brothers. It's hard to smile or feel happy... gosh I wish this would hurt would go away.

[Gretta's Mom]

Hello Jack and Puck's mom

I wish I had better news for you. Your heart will be shattered for some time to come. Tears at the desk, ZERO concentration .... everything you mentioned. As Moonbeam says, everyone goes through the grief journey at a different speed. It has taken a LONG time for me to come to the place I am - a medium-weight concrete block on my heart and tears on certain topics (on Lightning Strike - always). You ARE the best mom in this world. My "why did I?" is why did I leave my baby gretta (actually on oldster at 13) at the vet school on what would turn out to be her last night on this earth - alone, in pain, frightened, among strangers ... and no mom to put loving arms around her to comfort her. We hurt in proportion as we love - this I believe. So any ANY time your hurt gets to be too much to bear - come here and we'll take your hand and get you through.

For now ....

Gretta's mom

[moon_beam]

"There are moments I feel selfish for searching so hard for my Jack and overlooking the babies in need of homes but I'm not to that point yet, I can't imagine giving my heart away again."

Hi, Jack n Puck's Mom, thank you for sharing with us how you're doing. It is not selfish to focus your search on your precious Jack. He is your furchild, and of course you want him returned home safe and sound to you and his fur family members. I truly am very sorry he is missing, and of course this is adding to your sorrow with Puck. I, too, am sending prayers that he will return home to you safe and sound.

"It's so hard to focus, here at work I get distracted and can't concentrate, . . . It hurts so bad at moments I feel like I can't breathe, I can be driving or sitting at my desk and bust into tears."

Being distracted, unable to concentrate, lack of appetite, uncontrolled crying - - these are all normal grief. I remember the drives into work and then home driving with gut-wrenching sobbing. And thank goodness for the privacy of the restroom at work so that I could try to regain some semblence of composure so that I could return to my desk to continue with my work. As Gretta has mentioned, this grief journey is a process - - one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time. It is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride filled with many ups and downs, twists and turns, and turnarounds - - sometimes overwhelming all at one time.

This is why it is so very important for you to remember you are not alone. Grieving can make us feel very alone and isolated. I promise you are not alone. You are among friends here and you do not have to put on a "public face" here of pretending you are doing better than what you are feeling.

Jack n Puck's Mom, I hope today is being kind to you, and I hope you will have a very peaceful eveing with your fur family. Please know you and your precious Jack are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Gretta's Mom]

Hello Jack and Puck's mom,

I thought about you often today and said a little prayer for your little trio. When all we can do is watch and wait, it's good to know that there are kind, understanding friends who know what losing a beloved animal means and how much and how long it hurts. Little Puck has no doubt met thee babies of all the Lightning Strikers - what a crew they ust be. And, rest assured, she is watching over you and loving you exactly as she did when you could see her. She's in a safe place now and has all her love coming to you. I'm praying as hard as I can that Jack finds his way home or, as Bobbie said, finds some kind being to take him in and care for him. Even HE can see you and is loving you -- he just doesn't know which way to go to get past the distance between you. You are the best mom in the world. I know two kitties that would attest to that!

Rest well, my friend.

Gretta's mom