My Murdered Dexter, The depression won't go away Options

[QuakerParrot]

On August 1st of this year my Rat Terrier Dexter bit a 7 year old girl who had been tormenting him since he was a puppy. Her mother and I were friends and I tried endlessly to get her to teach the child not to tease animals. I had started spanking the child since her mother wouldn't. The weekend before this I had discussed with my husband the fact that the mother and I could no longer be friends since her child was so out of control (in all ways, not just with the dog) Sadly, on August 1st, she was teasing the dog outside so I told her to go home and told my son to let the dogs in (I have Dexters mother also) then told the girl the dog was coming inside to get away from her. She walked into the front yard and then into my house. Dexter saw her and an oppurtunity to get her back for all the teasing and took it. He bit her above her elbow and the bite required 8 stitches. The mother then decided that the dog needed to be put to sleep and I told her there was no way I was killing my dog because he bit a child who deserved it. Dexter was NOT a mean dog, I have a mentally retarded child who can be quite a handful with the dogs and he never so much as growled at her ever! This child was the ONLY person he hated. He was only 15 pounds and could never have hurt an adult. The childs father (who has never lived with her or the mother) decided that since I wouldn't kill the dog he would. On August 16th he came down to my yard around 11:30pm and put hamburger with Decon it in on the ground in the fenced area. Dexter ate it and by the afternoon of the 17th he was bleeding to death from every where. I was forced to put him to sleep out of mercy as there was nothing the vet could do. I still cry almost everyday over him... the hole in my heart in huge . The anger and hatred for the father, mother and child are eating at me and affecting my entire life. I have gotten addicted to pain killers yet again, after beating the same addiction 4 years ago. My husband doesn't understand, he loved the dog but to him it was"just a dog". To me he was my best friend, confidant, protecter, child. How do I go on? How do I quit crying everyday? God, this hurts so much!!

[Steph]

I'm so sorry that this happened to you. I can't believe they poisoned your dog. The whole story is so heartbreaking and could have been avoided if the girl had been taught not to tease Dexter.

Children that tease can really make life for a dog, and it's owner terrible. My Luba was tormented by two little boys (they went after her with sticks), when she was a puppy. Since that, she was always petrified of children. Everytime they were near she ran away and cringed. If she was cornered she would growl.

I was so angry that those two kids effectively put a big barrier in the way of Luba getting to know the nice kids in the neighbourhood. We tried socializing her, but she was just too overwhelmingly terrified.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Have you considered going to see a counciller who specializes in pet loss?

BTW
In the wake of Luba's death I became addicted to sedatives. I am off them again now though.

[BabyHannahsMom]

That is absolutely horrible! I am so sorry. I don't know where you live, but I believe you should call the police and press charges for animal cruelty. That man had NO RIGHT whatsoever to poison your Dexter -- it is a crime. No telling what their daughter will turn out to be like. It's scary that she is being taught this way. Really scary.
Marcia

[Wanda]

That is horrible! Please call the police and put animal cruelty charges on the guy. He had no right doing that to your Dexter. I am so sorry for your loss, especially in the way that it happened!

Please except my condolences for your loss!


Wanda

[littlebitsmom]

Dear Dexters Mom, here is a great big hug from all of us here at LS (((((((((((hugz))))))))))), i am so so sorry this happened to your Dexter. He definetely didn't deserve that, i will never understand why someone feels that two rights always make up for the wrong, they had NO RIGHT, i am so pissed right now i truly wish i knew where you lived, how inhumane can this society be, i thought we lived in the land of the free, the last i checked, THEIR child was over at YOUR home, which means your dog had every right to defend his territory, and this is why i'm outraged. It would be no different if that horrible family experienced someone coming into their home and invading it, they would definetely defend it, please please contact the Humane Society today, if these people are this horrible, who knows what else they may be capable of, murder, oh yeah, they already did that, but do not let them get away with this, your precious Dexter was your best friend and will look out for you from above now, you are not alone dear, i have been in my own mourning over my beautiful littlebit, but right now i don't think i'm thinking anything but anger, i truly will say a prayer for you, God bless and know that Dexter is still beside you.
Sherry (littlebitsmom)

[LittleGirl's...]

I am SO upset at reading your story!!! What a violent family they sound like! With parents like that, no wonder the child turned out to be that way (I know a child's behavior isn't always the result of the parents', but in this case it sure is).

Somehow, I believe that what goes around comes around. That guy will not get away with his crime, whether the police can do anything or not. You can't do that to someone and "get away with it".

I'm so very sorry for your loss. Hold Dexter's Mom close and give her lots of love. Please know that Dexter is fine now (no physical or emotional pain, and he's in a realm where there's only bliss), and he's aware of how much you love him. And you'll see him again!

Keep coming here. We'll help you through this. Love,

Kathy

[QuakerParrot]

Thank all of you so very much for the kind words and support... this is the first place where I have felt that I am understood. Where I don't feel foolish because "it was JUST a dog!" I had Dexter necropsied (a TOUGH decsion) but I HAD to know for sure if that evil Gregg Bly murdered him. Yes, there was Decon in his system and still in his belly in undigested raw hamburger. I have absolutely NO poison anywhere on my property.. for heaven's sake I live capture mice and release them in my parents woods!! I would NEVER poison ANY animal so I know Dexter was murdered. Gregg served 15 months in Iraq and killed several people there, guess a dog was no big deal to him. I took the results of the necropsy, signed statements from several people who have known me my entire life and know I would never poison anything, recorded tapes of the calls on August 12-14 from these people demanding I kill Dexter and took all of it to the Licking County (Ohio) Prosecutor. He nearly laughed in my face, telling me there were a lot of "real" crimes in central Ohio that needed solved, not a "neighborhood spat over a nasty kid and a nasty dog! The kid got bit, the dog got killed, get over it." Talk about heartless!!?? I pray that there is a Higher Judge somewhere, sometime who will make Gregg pay for what he did to my baby.

Thanks Again,
Amy
Dexters Lonely Mommy

[dakota28]

Thats just terrible! just think what goes around comes around and he'll get his someday. No animal desrves that he was just protecting himself and his territory. They had no right to play god. It makes me so mad, they needed to control their child and it never would have happened. obviously the prosecuter has no pets. You are in our prayers

[Wanda]

That's awful the way the Prosecuter reacted to you! Here in PA, in my area, people are prosecuted for cruelty of any kind to animals. Perhaps Animal Control or some other agency of that nature may be able to help you. That guy shouldn't go unpunished for the crime he committed. I am so sorry for the way Dexter died and I am so sorry for your loss!


Wanda

[Steph]

That is insane. I can't believe that prosecuter. I can't believe they'd let this slide.

I live in Canada, and I don't know US laws at all, but I'm thinking there must be SOMETHING that can be done at a higher lever of court????

[Stymy's Mom]

Amy,

My heart truly goes out to you and your family. What happened to Dexter was horrible!!!

There is allot more that should be done when it comes to cruelty to animals. There is something mentally wrong with a person who can kill an defenceless family pet. All they had to do was tell the girl to stay away from your house or something to work it out. For them to take away a friend like that is just wrong! I tried to write you yesterday but my rage was to intense I couldn't put my thoughts into words.

That so called family is going to have allot of trouble in the future with a brat for a child. I wish you all the best since you are neighbors. I also hope you told your other neighbors what could happen to their family pets too.

It's good you came to LS because the people truly care and understand. Come as much as you need we well listen and help as much as we can.

Sincerely,
Vicki (Stymy's Mom)

[littlebitsmom]

well who needs a judicial system if that is how they are gonna treat you, by all means go up to the higher "animal" courts, contact PETA, it is the animal activist who are big time against animal cruelty of any kind, there will be justice for Dexter, i agree with the others, i only hope you can get through having to live next door to these awful people, and if this fellow is a soldier, well i'd think he would have known better, unless he went over there with malicious ideas instead of upholding justice for the united states, because after what he just did, he let his country down big time, and maybe i should get off of here now because i'm getting upset again, we hold you in our prayers everynight QuakerParrot, just know we stand beside you. Please check on the internet for that activist group, i don't think he will want his name all over the papers by the activist, that is what they will do, won't look to good for him, we are to Divide and Conquer, not go out and murder. God Bless
Sherry (littlebitsmom)

[littlebitsmom]

Dear Dexters Mommy, you are not going to believe this, but right after i finished writing you just a little while ago, i went looking for PETA.org myself, that is how upset and outraged i was that someone will get away with such a senseless heartbreaking thing, so i looked it up, and clicked on a link HelpingAnimals.com, and to my surprise was a current situation in YOUR COUNTY right now on animal abuse, and if you contact this lady named stephanie bell, she is the peta cruelty caseworker and low and behold, she is pushing 9 counts of animal cruelty against a local citizen there, can't say any names, but please please call her, or call jon diernbarch, (assistant municipal prosecutor), i have this stephanie's phone number if you need it, geesh i think my littlebit is with me tonight because i truly don't think that i would have stumbled upon this information, this is all you need to push for charges against your neighbor, they say in this article that if the people who deliberately inflict pain upon animals obviously have some manner of mental disorders, don't know what his would be, but i know it's not legal, best of luck to you Dexters Mommy, i will be rootin for you, rest sweet Dexter.
Sherry (littlebitsmom)

[BabyHannahsMom]

Sherry,
I am so glad you got this information for Dexter's mommy. What happened to them has really been on my mind. I was going to suggest contacting the National Humane Society, but it sounds as if you (with a little help from Little Bit) have really found the person who can help. I'm rooting too. Even though it won't bring Dexter back, I hope Dexter's killer will be punished for the atrocity he committed. Most of all, I hope one day he will UNDERSTAND how wrong he was and how wrong his family was in this whole matter.

Dexter's mommy, let me know if I can help in any way. I am working with some animal groups around here.

Marcia

[DJ - Edgar, Jess...]

If you can afford it, have a lawyer drop a little letter in the prosecutor's mailbox. Failure to enforce pet cruelty laws is a federal offence punishable by prison time - even for the prosecutor.

[QuakerParrot]

Wow! As I wipe yet MORE tears from my eyes (can one human cry SO much?!?) I am again so very thankful I put the words "pet loss support" into Google!! You guys are just TOO great! I have checked into PETA and I think I have some people's attention there. While they usually go after large scale cases of cruelty, it just so happens I have been a supporting member of PETA since 1994!! While I don't agree with ALL of their views (in some ways they are a bit radical AND usually very leftist, yes.. I am a republican ) I have always subscribed to their heartfelt dedication to animals. You are all absolutely right, I shouldn't just stop at my local prosecutor, Dexter deserves better!! An odd footnote to this sad tale of mine... Last July my sister lost her husband of 25 years to a brain anyerism in the restroom at his job. They were high school sweethearts, Yen and Yan.. inseperable. She was beyond devestated.. in April of this year she went into a Petland in Columbus and fell in love with a little Min PIn puppy. She paid a 1,000$ and brought him home. By the last week of August she realized she wasn't being fair to him as he was locked in a crate from 4:30am until 5:00pm all day while she worked. She offered to GIVE him to me, saying that she saw how much I loved Dexter and how lost I was without him. At first I said NO.. I would NEVER replace Dekkie-Boy!! Then my mom talked me into it, telling me that Dexter wouldn't want another dog to be unhappy when I would give him a good home. So, I took him... telling myself (and him late at night) that I would always care for him, feed him, water him and see that he was healthy but that I would NEVER love him! Well, this past Monday night he got out of the house and ran away. Myself, my husband and my 17 and 12 year old sons spent from 2:00pm until 10:00pm looking all over for him. We have 75 acres of woods that surround the street I live on on 3 sides. Beyond those woods lies I-70, reachable way TOO easily by an animal. I lost my kitty Mort up there in 1993 . My mom and sister both told me that he was either dead or had already been stolen due to his value. At 7:30 that evening I busted up crying and didn't even realize why! Then I figured out why.. I actually missed Scrappie! I went to my room and I talked to Dexter, I told him that if it was alright with him, could he please help the little puppy find his way back home? At 10:45 my husband came in the door with Scrappie in his arms. Now he's been sleeping with me, following me around... it's really WEIRD! I'm trying not to feel guilty about Dexter, because he will always be so very special to me but I DO like Scrappie.. is that OK? Or is Dexter sad in heaven because he thinks I don't love him anymore? And.. am I crazy?!?! Thanks again to all of you!!

Amy (Dexter's Lonely Mommy)

[JackieMc]

Hi Amy,

First of all, I am so sorry for your loss. As everybody else has already said, it's an absolute outrage to lose a pet in this manner. I hope you will have a lot of success working through PETA to get some resolution.

We lost our oldest cat, Banjo, on September 15th. During one of fruitless searches for him, we found an abandoned kitten. To make a long story short, we wound up keeping him and named him Muggles. My 10 year old daughter believes with all her heart that Banjo had a hand in us finding Muggles since he knew Muggles would help us move on and also be company for Banjo's beloved brother, Fiddle. But, I also worried that Banjo would be sad to see us adopting another kitten. Would he be mad at us? I didn't immediately bond with Muggles although, like you, I ensured his basic needs were always met. I figured the kids were playing with him so he wouldn't notice if I didn't. But my heart is melting toward him as he is so sweet and, of course, he had nothing to do with us losing Banjo. The other night, before going to sleep, I prayed again that Banjo will be at peace with our decision to adopt Muggles. That night, I had a dream where Banjo was running through this meadow and he was so happy. I know it's just a dream but it somehow felt to me that Banjo was telling me he is in a better place, he is happy and he is ok with Muggles being in our home. So, I'm more at peace with it now.

I hope you can find that peace with Scrappie and let his love warm your heart. I'm sure Dexter would be proud of you for giving your wonderful home to another dog who needed it.

Jackie

[Gort]

Amy, I don't think Dexter would object to the new arrival in your home (and heart). If anything he would be glad that you are sharing your bounty of love with another. You are not replacing Dexter because that is impossible. Dexter was unique as all our pets were. You are filling a void and I think your Dex would approve whole heartedly. Dexter would be saddened by your sadness if you know what I mean. And don't ever say "you'll never love him" because you will. Sounds like you are already on your way.

[dietersmom]

Amy,

I'm so very sorry about Dexter. I know in my state cruelty to animals is a very real crime and you will do jail time for it. I will never understand how someone can hurt an animal, it goes completely beyond my comprehension. Looks like Dexter is looking out for you, by sending Scrappie back after his brief escape!

Scrappie is so very lucky! Looks like he has a wonderful new home and he has already found a way to wiggle into your heart. We animal lovers have a lot of love to give and I don't think it's wrong to open your home to one that needs the love you can give and he can give you. Go give Scrappie and big hug for me!

Libby

[QuakerParrot]

Thanks again all of you! Scrappie is a cutie, that's for sure! Last night he curled up in my arms, where Dexter used to sleep, and I told him I loved him! I miss Dexter so much, and the weekends are the hardest for me. It's Saturday and here I am crying for the millionth time! Now I'm worried about my other dogs (Scrappie, Rosie-Dexters 6yo mom and Boof my 13yo mutt) because we are having problems with the same neighbor who killed Dexter, yet again! I'm SO worried about the rest of them and about my cats! God, I hate living this way! I so wish David and I had the money to sell our home and move but we can't. Well, wish us all luck!

Amy