Friend's Story Options

[ladywolf]

Things are changing. Because of circumstances beyond our control we're moving. Since Friend passed I've been wanting to get out of this place, this house that reminds me of him. It's been so hard for me to be here and not have him with me. And now we're moving and I don't want to go. I've been feeling extrememly sad about leaving Friend here. I won't be able to visit him at his final resting spot anymore. And I also feel as if i'll have nothing to remind me of him anymore. My emotions are all over the place right now. One minute I feel happy to leave this place that ultimately ended my angel's life, and the next minute I can't leave because this is where he lived his life. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm lost. I know we have to move, but I just don't want to. As if it wasn't bad enough that Friend is no longer with me now I can't even visit his grave. What do I do? How do I find the strength to move on?

Dear Hopelessheart--

I wish Angel Care One was around this forum right now to help you with one of her amazing, blessed postings. I am NOT the angel that she is, but I sure can hear your pain and sympathize with you. You want to go, you don't want to go--it's awful to feel so conflicted.

Did you by any chance put up any kind of cross or stone or other memorial over Friend's grave? Because if you did, you could take that with you as a remembrance--he wouldn't mind at all. Another thing you can do is create an alter for him in your new house, with pictures of him (that kitten picture is precious, by the way), a candle, a crystal, whatever makes you feel good. Then you can sit by the alter and remember him all you want to. You can also take a picture of his gravesite and add it to the alter--I had to do that once when I left a house, and it really really helped me to have that. Poco-Loco was HER name, "The bravest one-eyed dog west of the Mississippi" was on her name tag!

I know that it feels very final to leave a place where a beloved four-legged lived with you, but I'm sure that you're making the move for a lot of good reasons, too. Really, where we hold them the closest is in our hearts and memories, and no move can ever take those away from you. You'll be making a fresh start, and that's always a good thing, even if it hurts too.

My heart is with you in this difficult time of change.......

Big hugs from Margi and Ladywolf

[janika]

Dear HopelessHeart

I echo everything that Margi has said and I do so feel for you. Friend will always be with you in your heart and soul , wherever you are. A new place might be just the thing for you, one where there are no painful reminders, just Happy memories of your darling friend to take with you, wherever you are.
Friend will want whats best for his Mum, our happiness is of paramount importance to our dear fur/feather babies.

Thinking of you.

Love and hugs

jan and my Angels xx

[moon_beam]

Hi, hopelessheart, I would like to add my 2 cents to Margi's and Jan's most eloquent replies. They are so right the you will always have Friend with you wherever you go, for he is forever a part of you in your heart and soul. Margi made some very good suggestions about what you could do in your new home to help you feel him close to you. You don't ever have to say "good by" to him because his sweet Livng Spirit is forever with you wherever you go and whatever you do. Moving right now is another major change in your life - - it's another form of "loss" - - which is even more difficult because you are leaving the last physical place where you and your precious Friend lived together, and it is particularly hard because it is so soon after losing his sweet physical presence with you. But please know that wherever you are we are here for you to help you through this major adjustment. We are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Hopelessheart, please know you continue to be in my thoughts and prayers, and please let ud know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[hopelessheart]

Thank you all once again for your help. I have officially moved into the new house. It took a little more than a weekend but we finally got it done. Packing for the move was really hard. I kept finding pictures of Friend (and some of our other lost pets) and I would just sit and cry. When we were moving stuff out I kept looking back at him and wishing I could take him with me. It's just been so hard but fortunately unpacking has kind of taken my mind off of things. I miss Friend a lot and wish he was still around to make the move with us. I keep wondering if he'd still be around if we had just moved a little sooner. Maybe he wouldn't have gotten into the accident and maybe he'd still be here with me.

I miss you so much Friend and I hope that someday we'll meet again.

[Stormycloud]

Hi there,

Just wanted to say I just read your posts about your cat Friend and I was crying my eyes out. I hope you are feeling okay about your move now. Sometimes I wish I could move to stop all the memories of my dog, Storm - he died on Monday and it's been terrible. I also read about your dog you had and how it took you so long to give your heart to another pet - I feel the same way. I cannot imagine getting another dog - EVER. I know that may change someday, but I have no love to give right now to another doggy, but I do have my two cats who I can shower in the meanitme with love.

At any rate, I hope you can find some peace in your new home, maybe it will help your healing process. So very sad you had to move in light of the fact your sweet Friend was buried at the old house, I am so sad to hear that. He sure was a cutie.

Take care, I hope we both can find happiness soon, I am finding it very hard and cannot wait until I can think of my Stormy and just smile instead of crying fifteen times a day (my eyes sure look funny these days). Tonight I had to give my cat some of Stormy's wet food as I had run out of wet cat food and that was HARD. Don't know what I was going to do with the rest of the wet dog food, can't leave it in the fridge forever - sigh.

Anyway, hope you are feeling okay about your move - your Friend sure was a sweetie.

Moira

[hopelessheart]

Hey Moira, I first want to offer you my condolences on the loss of your dog Storm. I also wanted to thank you for your support. It's been a little over a month since I've lost my little angel Friend and this whole ordeal is still tugging at my heart. I know and understand every ounce of pain you are going through. In the first days after I lost Friend i cried continuously leaving me with the same "funny eyes". I've since gone through a string of different emotions in my grieving process, but I feel like I or we need to go through whatever to ease the pain so that we can have those happy memories without losing it. I've found that coming here is very comforting. There are alot of great people here who understand everything and can help you when you're feeling down. I'll be thinking of you and Storm and hoping that we can both make it to that day where we can share memories while smiling.

[hopelessheart]

After finally settling into the new house, my husband and I went on our much needed vacation. It was nice to get away from everything for a couple of days, but I still couldn't get away from my thoughts of Friend. I had a dream that I was walking up to my front porch (of the new house) and Friend was sitting right by the door. I remember getting really excited and giving him lots of love. I felt good when I woke up the next morning. I don't know if my dream was just wishful thinking but I’d like to think that it had more of a meaning. I'd been having a hard time with leaving Friend behind and I think this was his way of telling me that he'll always be where I’ll be. I still miss Friend very much and I hope that this process gets better from here. I know that there are still going to be tough days, but to know that Friend is with me everywhere I go makes my heart smile.

[Stormycloud]

Aww, what a nice post! Good to hear you had a nice holiday, lucky you!!! Sorry you are still sad about your little Friend, he was so cute! Maybe he just decided to put your mind at ease with your dreaming of him, that is a very nice thought indeed! He will always be in your heart and in your thoughts, just like my boy Storm.

I am glad to hear you are feeling better, it's such a heartbreaking way to lose a pet, although I guess it does not really matter how they go, they are still missing from our lives.

Cheers to Friend and Storm!

Moira

[hopelessheart]

Today was a tad bit tough on me. I decided to check up on the house we recently moved out of (we still haven't sold it yet :/). My niece and nephew are on spring break and i'm taking care of them so they also came along. After taking a quick look at the house the kids asked to visit Friend. I honestly did not want to go because I was afraid on how hard it might be. I've been doing so well and I thought it might take me right back to the beginning. I took them to where he was buried and my niece asked me if we could take him and bury him at our new house. I told her that we couldn't and she asked me if we could unbury him so she could see his body one last time. oh geez did that take a chunk right out of my heart. I wanted to cry so bad but I didn't want to alarm them. I held back my tears as they said goodbye to Friend one last time. I didn't realized how much Friend had been a part of their lives too. The day he had his accident they were with me and they were so worried about him. I remember them wanting to see him so bad but I didn't want them to see him that way. This was the first time that they had "seen" Friend since he passed. We stood over his grave in silence for a minute or two and then we left. It's nice to know that Friend had alot of people in his life who loved him and still do truly miss him so much.

Oh and yes Moira cheers to Friend and Storm!

[ladywolf]

It's nice to know that Friend had alot of people in his life who loved him and still do truly miss him so much.

Yes, Hopelessheart--

That is SO nice to know! Sorry you had to have your heart ripped out again by revisiting Friend's gravesite, but glad that you had the young ones along with you to reaffirm how important he was to everyone in his circle. Often our animals impact people who didn't even seem to know them that well, but were touched by them. One of my neighbors made a card for me after Poppers died that was so sweet and heartfelt--he had really loved her too, and I hadn't known the depth of that. Ladywolf has made a huge impact on the world--she has friends all over the country who will grieve when she passes, I know that.

I sense that your re-visiting Friend's grave was part of your process of closure. I don't have a gravesite for Poppers to revisit, at least not for a year. She died at such a time that a friend and I had to decide what to do with her body late on a rainy afternoon. Neither of us is strong enough to dig, so we took her way out in the desert and covered her with stones and made a kind of burial mound, and then we left, leaving her to join the foodchain. I don't dare return for a long long time, and that feels very strange, but we did the best we could in the moment, and since Poppers was a nature-loving dog, it somehow seemed fitting that she provide a good meal for the critters in the area. But I wish I had a marker to visit, or something...

You continue to impress me with each of your posts, with your deep heart and sensible ways and profound understanding of the process of grief. I hope you're having a happier day today!

Big hugs--

Margi and Ladywolf (with cancer)

[hopelessheart]

While I've been doing good for awhile now, I had a little set back last night. I've been able to talk about Friend here and there and it hasn't been too hard. I was going through some of my old sim cards and I found a bunch of pictures of Friend. I stared at them for awhile and the tears just started flowing. I had to run to the restroom for awhile because for some reason I feel like the whole world is still wondering why I haven't got over his death. My husband is very supportive but I often feel embarrassed to cry in front of him. It was really hard to go to sleep last night because I just wanted to come here and vent. I feel so much better once I post because I know that at least one of you out there will send me those comforting words I long to hear. Everybody here understands and although I can't see any of you I feel like I can cry in front of this computer screen and it's as if i'm crying in front of you. I'm not embarrassed to express my feelings here and already I feel like a little weight has been lifted off my chest.

I miss my Friend so much :'/

[ladywolf]

While I've been doing good for awhile now, I had a little set back last night. I've been able to talk about Friend here and there and it hasn't been too hard. I was going through some of my old sim cards and I found a bunch of pictures of Friend. I stared at them for awhile and the tears just started flowing. I had to run to the restroom for awhile because for some reason I feel like the whole world is still wondering why I haven't got over his death. My husband is very supportive but I often feel embarrassed to cry in front of him. It was really hard to go to sleep last night because I just wanted to come here and vent. I feel so much better once I post because I know that at least one of you out there will send me those comforting words I long to hear. Everybody here understands and although I can't see any of you I feel like I can cry in front of this computer screen and it's as if i'm crying in front of you. I'm not embarrassed to express my feelings here and already I feel like a little weight has been lifted off my chest.

I miss my Friend so much :'/

Dear Hopelessheart--

It is an effort for me to write to you tonight, but a GOOD effort, I think. Ladywolf is fading day by day, and I don't expect to have her around a whole lot longer, so I am very sad.

So I understand what you are feeling--particularly that sense that other people have that you ought to be "over" it by now. It takes a LONG time to get "over it," if indeed, we ever really do. Friend had a very special story and a very tragic ending, and I'm not at all surprised that you are still feeling deep grief over his departure. He was a true "Friend"--and what a great name for a cat!

Don't ever worry about "venting" here--that's what we're here for. I haven't been around much myself lately, because of Lady's situation--like a lightbulb slowly burning out--but this Forum and these wonderful people are always close to my heart, as they are to your's.

I miss Friend too!!!!

Please let yourself feel your grief in any way that that manifests, and whenEVER it manifests. You may still be feeling some pain months from now, and that's okay too.

Sorry not to be of much help, but I wanted to say hello and acknowledge your process of "recovery" from your intense loss. Friend was lucky to have you!!

Big Hugs--Margi and the Wolf

[tanbuck]

Hopelessheart, I completely understand what you're feeling. I feel the same way about being embarrassed. And you are so right about coming here and never needing to feel that way. I hope you have a better day today.
-Donna

[hopelessheart]

Tanbuck,
thank you for understanding. It truly is a blessing to be in the company of those who know just what i'm going through.

Margi and ladywolf,
I'm so very sorry to hear of ladywolf's decline. My heart dropped when I read she might be leaving soon. I felt as if I was losing one of my pets too. Since I lost Friend you and many others have played a key part in my recovery process. I am more thankful than you could ever imagine for that. When I read your apology for not being much help, I thought you are anything but that. Every single word you write means something to me. I cried when I read your and tanbuck's replies, and these were happy tears! It comforts me to know that others know Friend's story and that in a way he still lives on. I know that there is not one word I could use to express my gratitude to you and everyone else who's helped me along the way, but I will say thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

You and Ladywolf are in my prayers. Send her lots of love and hugs for me.

I will forever carry you in my heart Friend. I love you and miss you so much.