Frasier's Story Options

[madi]

Just letting you know I am thinking of you and know what you mean about the Christmas tree, they seem to attract cats don't they?

Love and hugs madi xx

[tanbuck]

Dottie, thank you so much for posting the poem. I really struggle with that every day. I helps to know I'm not the only one.
Madi, thank you for thinking of me. Yeah, cats are funny with anything you don't want them to get into. It's like they know exactly what you don't want them on, and then get on it. Or they'll get in your lap just moments after you think to yourself that you need to get up! Gotta love 'em!
-Donna

[mynutmeg]

Ohhhh baby boy frasier, your mom loved you so much!

Nutmeg used to love the tinsel on the tree and the low hanging ornaments- she would take her paw and knock them off the tree. I always had a real tree and the smell of it was almost like catnip for her for some reason. The holidays will indeed be rough for all of us. What is going on with Niles ? you said he was not well. I am so sorry for you having to go this again with another kitty taken ill.

Thinking about you today and my baby girl.

[tanbuck]

Mynutmeg, thank you sooo much for saying that to Frasier. My heart skipped a beat when I read it. It just warms your heart when someone else speaks to or about your baby, doesn't it? Thank you again. It was a precious way for me to start my day.
-Donna

[tanbuck]

My dear Frasier, today is 15 weeks. Please don't be upset with me that I'm feeling ok today. I still miss you and grieve for my loss every day. Niles is much better so I hope we've figured out the best food for him for now. He's being stubborn, though. You both were such turkeys about your food! I miss the arguments we would have at dinner time when the food wasn't what you wanted. I'm sleeping much better now. I discovered that since your death, I was clinching my jaw during the night so much it was disturbing my sleep. I wear a splint now and it helps but I still miss you dearly at night. My little bed buddy. I have to go now because I have alot to get done today. But I love you so very much, Bean. Oh, to have you back and healthy.
-Mommy

[tanbuck]

Dear Frasier, today is 16 weeks. Your picture just came up on my screensaver. I know you don't know what that means, but I just sat there and looked at you with such longing. I miss you so much. I love you so very much, baby.
-Mommy

[Brutus]

Thinking of you Donna and Frasier...Hope you are doing well.

Hugs,
Brutus' Mom

[mynutmeg]

Just checking in on you and Niles.....

[tanbuck]

Mynutmeg, thank you so much for checking in on us. I've been off the forum for awhile. I've just found it easier to talk directly to Frasier lately instead of writing to him. Niles is doing much better. He was having food issues (he has inflammatory bowel disease) and was losing weight because we couldn't figure out what he could and would eat. I hope we've got him stable for a little while. He's a little turkey, though!
How are you doing? I hope that you are feeling better. It still comes and goes for me. I have moments where I don't feel like I've progressed at all. But luckily, they are only moments and not complete days anymore.
I had an interesting thing happen yesterday. I don't go out to Frasier's grave much because I don't like to think of him being in the ground. But I did go out there yesterday to tell him that it was going to snow later and I hoped he wasn't cold. At that moment, I saw a white feather on the ground on his grave. I picked it up and kissed it and put it next to the little statue we have. I called my mom because she has told me about finding feathers and wanted to know what it meant. I didn't tell her why I was asking but I asked what finding a white feather meant and she said, "Oh that means that a loved one who has passed away is telling you that they are ok." My mouth hung open. I don't know if I believe in that kind of thing, but it sure made me feel good anyway.
Anyway, thank you again for asking about Niles. My thoughts are with you because I know you still hurt for your Nutmeg.
-Donna

[ladywolf]

Donna--

What a beautiful story, about the feather! Magic IS all around us!

It reminds of the time about twenty years ago when I was walking with Poco-Loco, who was dying of Leukemia, through a stream on a blustery day. I was feeling so sad that I looked up and said, "Please, send us something special to ease the pain." Then I looked down, and right in front of me was a turtle shell, bleached perfectly white, resting on a rock. I picked it up, looked up, and said, "Thank you, that will certainly do!" (And I don't believe in God, per se. I mostly believe in nature--and that belief was confirmed for sure that day!)

Frasier must have been an angel both before and after death...as was my Poppers, who died three weeks ago, and Ladywolf, who now has terminal cancer. All of this does remind me to look UP more often!

Blessings to you--

Margi and Ladywolf

[mynutmeg]

Interesting story about the feather....I think our hearts tell our brains to believe in what we need to believe in to get through.

I am doing okay however I miss my baby so much and am away from where we lived and her grave so it's tough knowing I am not right around the corner from her and missing her daily companionship, constant meowing and scratching at the door to go out. I am just not ready to get another one yet but maybe I should. It's hard living alone and the only thing you had for 18 years leave your side. I am hoping once the "winter doldrums" pass, I too can move forward more. Time is the greatest healer but sometimes I wish it would speed up or just rewind a year.

Every time I write on this forum the tears start again....GEEZ...when will it stop!!!!!

Love to Frasier and Niles

[tanbuck]

Dear Frasier, it's been almost 5 months. And once again, sometimes it feels like 5 minutes. I just miss you so much! I hate that you can't be here with us. Baby boy, my heart is still broken. Just completely broken. I feel fractured, incomplete. I looked out at your grave today and felt that you were resting. I haven't felt that before. The wind was beginning to blow but it seemed quiet around you. Very peaceful. I wish I could hold you again. Please know that I didn't want you to go. I'll never stop loving you. You, Niles, and Buck are my babies. You won't be replaced. A mommy just doesn't go get new children. I'm sending a kiss for your forehead. A long sweet kiss like I used to do to try to will my love to you. I just hate that you're not here.
-Mommy

[tanbuck]

Dear Frasier,
I have only thing to say today. And that is that I just didn't know. I knew I loved you and I knew that you boys were and are a part of me. I knew we were a family. But I just didn't know. The incredible loss and sorrow, I just didn't know. I thought that when a person goes back to their regular life after loss that they were better. Now I know that they are better with life but not better with loss. Even though everything seems fine on the outside, I still can't talk about you without crying. I can't even think of you without crying. I'm sorry I don't visit here very often anymore but it's only because I'm trying to heal and trying to focus on taking care of Niles. If I avoid thinking of you sometimes, baby, it is only because I'm so afraid of transferring negative energy to Niles. He needs as much optimism as he can get and you know that's hard for me. I worry that in the end you may have felt that I knew you weren't going to make it. I just didn't know.
-Mommy

[tanbuck]

My boy Frasier.

[mom2stew]

What a beautiful, meaty guy! I love big kitties, his body type looks a lot like Stew's in this picture. If I were able, and if he would let me, I would nuzzle my nose in Frasier's fluffy white tummy and take a deep breath in...that's what I used to do to Stew, it was better than any therapy you can find.
Frasier's a beautiful boy.

Kelly

[moon_beam]

Hi, Donna,
I have re-read your beautiful story about Frasier. Dear friend, Frasier, Niles, and Buck know that you love them. They all know that you would walk on hot smoking coals to give them a safe, healthy, and happy life. But I know from my own experiences that this does not stop a mom's heart aching to see her beloved baby - - whatever the life form - - hurt, be sick, and not be able to make "everything better" - - except to send them back to the angels.
I know there are better days than others, and I know that the emptiness never completely goes away. I thank you for sharing your precious furkids with us. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, Donna.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[tanbuck]

Dear sweet Frasier, today is one year. I cannot believe it. I still get lost in your face when I look at the picture on table. I felt such despair for you, my little bean. I hated you being alone in the yard. I hated that you didn't get to stay with your brothers. I hated that we were living and going about our way and you weren't. I hated waiting on Dr. Rickard to get here that day. I've never worn that watch I was wearing that day again. It was a beautiful gift from Daddy but now it appears like tarnished evil.
The thoughts in my head that day are still so fresh. I couldn't get out of my mind that in 2 hours you'd be gone, in 1 hour you'd be gone, in 30 minutes..... I hated knowing the moment you'd leave before you did. I hated knowing it at all. I stared at you for what seemed like days as we waited. But you didn't know we were waiting.
You were so restless in that last hour. Oh, Bean. It hurt to breathe as I tried to imagine what you were feeling. Your sweet little belly that I kissed for so many years was so grotesquely swollen. And when you got up and waddled to the water bowl just before Dr. Rickard got here, my heart sank and I panicked wondering if we were doing the right thing. Dr. Rickard said it was the most humane thing to do. But how was it humane to kill you!? I can hardly type through the tears.
My precious bean. I know we ended your suffering. And I know it was your suffering that ended your life. And having to watch Niles die without our help proved to me that we did the right thing for you. I wouldn't want that for you.
Thank you again, little man, for living with us. Thank you for all the laughter you gave us. Thank you for all the warmth at night. Thank you for being so cute and so predictable. Thank you for being our son. Kisses to you. Kisses, kisses on your sweet forehead. I love you.
-Mommy

[janika]

Thinking of you Donna and your precious Frasier. Next Tuesday/Wednesday it will be one year since my Noushka left me. Your posts to your darling Frasier were what brought me to LS. The people on here have been wonderful and have helped us through this year.
Hugs

Jan and my Angels and Pixie xx

[moon_beam]

Dear Donna, thank you so much for sharing your heart and your letter to Frasier with us. I don't know why it is the hardest things that we have to do in this life that are the testimonies to our deepest love - - like easing the journey to the angels for our furkids.

Frasier knows he was loved during his journey with you on this side of eternity, and he knows he is forever with you - -he is eternally loved. He is sharing this anniversary with you - - can you feel him - - can you hear him saying "thank you mom for loving me, even when it broke your heart to let me come to the angels."

You are in my thoughts and prayers, Donna, today and every day.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[sad]

Donna
That one year anniversary is so hard I know. It is what brought me to this site. I still can remember every minute of that awful day and remember waiting for the appointment time-not being really sure what would happen-but knowing in my heart it probably would. And for you losing all 3 in one year is so hard. I really hope the girls will eventually become closer to you and bring you some comfort but I understand your heart needs time to heal and they have their own issues as well. I hope your weekend is going OK.