I Lost My Best Friend Keesha Recently Options

[holmeed]

Trevor I'm so sorry, heartbreaking story..I'm 48 and not a "cryer" until I lost Kito. Now like a little girl I weep.. My first dog, my best friend, my kid, never had kids so these are it..
,
Its been 17 days since Kito died and its getting worse. Doesn't help I'm alone while wife is in another state looking for a house. I know no one down here. 1st time I've been w/o him alone in 10 years..all his food, toys, cookies , bed ..silenced... Lost one of our cats Frankie day after kito. So we have lost kito, franky and his brother sammy (in april) this year. We have a few indoor cats but these were all my boys. Sammy and frankie were mostly outside cats but there were fixed and on 5 acres ,3 acres wooded, no roads.. very private..Sammy got kidney stones and he was fine one day,the next bad, took him to vet and it was too late..this one bothers me because I didn't wait.. only a couple days before I took him to vet. Franky we have no idea what happened. Owl maybe? No coyotes or anything down here in this part of SW Mo.
We kept our brood with losing no one for a long time... its changing..

Kito was fine 3 months ago. Kidney, heart everything fine, gets a bad cold and it kills him. Anti biotics don't work.....should of taken him to another vet, he should of got IV food and meds...I know guilt is a phase of grief but a bad cold? 12 1/2 he was, not 15...we are moving soon and its going to kill me to not know what happened to frankie and leaving Kitos memory here..
my big beautiful snow bear.....

[trevor]

Thanks holmeed. I'm so sorry for your losses of Kito, Franky and Sammy as well. Losing three pets in such a short amount of time is just awful. Kito-what a beautiful dog! Your first sentence fits me to a tee. I'm 39 and not a cryer...until Keesha died I honestly don't remember the last time I cried. Keesha was also my first dog and best friend. I don't have kids either so she was my kid and losing her was the worst thing I've ever had to go through by far. I know exactly how you are feeling. I'm sorry you have to do it alone as that would make it that much harder. Trust me though it will get better in time. I wouldn't have believed that when I first lost keesha as the pain was so intense those first few weeks. However it does slowly but surely go away. I still miss her like crazy and would do anything to get her back healthy but the unbearable pain has subsided. I still feel sad at times and there is still an emptiness but it has gotten better and it will for you too.

Try not to beat yourself up over not taking Kito to another vet.....guilt is part of this grieving process. I felt guilty as well. I think we all do. Its human nature to second guess ourselves after the fact. Have you thought of getting another dog? You'll never replace Kito but you'll be amazed how quickly you can fall in love with another one. I only waited two and a half weeks before I got another one and I felt guilty as heck for doing so so quickly but it was much needed. I needed another dog to help fill the void left by Keesha and to help me get through this process. I got a little siberian husky puppy and she's been a Godsend. She'll never replace Keesha(as she'll always be my number one girl) but she has her own special place in my heart. Take care.

[trevor]

Hi Keesha, just wanted to let you know how much I miss you. It will be 15 weeks tomorrow. I'm doing pretty well but have really missed you the last few days. I would do anything to have another day with you. I talk to you everyday even though you probably can't hear me.....people would think I'm crazy if they saw me but oh well it makes me feel like you're still with me in a crazy sort of way. I wish I'd receive some type of sign that you're still around and watching over us whether its in a dream or whatever but I'm getting nothing. Maybe you've moved on and that's fine as long as you're happy and healthy up there.

I really wish you could be here now that the weather is getting cooler.....you always loved fall didn't you? You loved to sit outside and enjoy the cool crisp air. You loved going for walks in this type of weather. I just wish we were able to walk together again Keesh....that was our time, our bonding time wasn't it? You enjoyed it so much and so did I as I looked forward to taking you every night after supper. Just to see your eyes light up when I said that magic word-walk! Hopefully you're taking plenty of walks in heaven and I promise you when we meet again that's the first thing we'll do together....well the first thing will be to give you a long hug and kisses and then a long walk. I'll talk to you later baby girl, I love you and miss you terribly. Trevor

[AngelCareOne]

Hi Keesha, just wanted to let you know how much I miss you. It will be 15 weeks tomorrow. I'm doing pretty well but have really missed you the last few days. I would do anything to have another day with you. I talk to you everyday even though you probably can't hear me.....people would think I'm crazy if they saw me but oh well it makes me feel like you're still with me in a crazy sort of way. I wish I'd receive some type of sign that you're still around and watching over us whether its in a dream or whatever but I'm getting nothing. Maybe you've moved on and that's fine as long as you're happy and healthy up there.

I really wish you could be here now that the weather is getting cooler.....you always loved fall didn't you? You loved to sit outside and enjoy the cool crisp air. You loved going for walks in this type of weather. I just wish we were able to walk together again Keesh....that was our time, our bonding time wasn't it? You enjoyed it so much and so did I as I looked forward to taking you every night after supper. Just to see your eyes light up when I said that magic word-walk! Hopefully you're taking plenty of walks in heaven and I promise you when we meet again that's the first thing we'll do together....well the first thing will be to give you a long hug and kisses and then a long walk. I'll talk to you later baby girl, I love you and miss you terribly. Trevor

{*{*{*{Trevor}*}*}*} I can truly feel your most palpable pain. You and Keesha are in my thoughts and prayers.

Your precious Angel Fur Child waits patiently for you at The Rainbow Bridge and has many playful pals until that One Sweet Day.



Many Comforting Hugs!!!

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

[trevor]

Thanks Dottie! You're in my thoughts and prayers as well.....as is everyone else on this site. I read everyone's story and feel so bad because I know the pain everyone is going through and how hard it is to lose our beloved pets. I have a question for you I was reading "Sammy's Story" on page 3 a week or so ago and saw where you posted an awesome link of the rainbow bridge (musical thingy)and was wondering if you could post that link on my thread if at all possible...it would be greatly appreciated even though it brings tears to my eyes every time I watch it. Its sad but comforting at the same time. Thanks again and take care.

[AngelCareOne]

You're very welcome, Trevor. And thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers. So very dear of you!

Okay, I lost hundreds of my bookmarked Websites so did a google search and I'm pretty sure this is the one you're asking about since I've sent it to many people over the years and know I've posted it to friends here at Lightning Strike. Is this the one you're asking about? Please click on the Link, allow for a short loading time then click where it says "Click to begin." Here you go ...

http://www.indigo.org/rainbow/

While I was googling to find the above, there were You Tubes about The Rainbow Bridge. I never even thought to look.
This one is awesome! I hope your PC has the capability to view ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcQvYh_3Atw

Then I found another amazing one with the song "Rainbow Connection" that my Alex loved to hear when sung by Kermit the Frog.
Kermit isn't singing in this one, however the images are wonderful ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxp6PQI91Xk

And another very lovely video. More fur and feather Angels at The Rainbow Bridge ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YqCZ79_KeSY

Here's a very pretty song and more fur kid Angels. Great images ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8kceQf9jYI

Ya gotta see this. Wow! Please click below ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bb-znhUKIm0

Last one for now. Music is instrumental with no lyrics and more awesome images of Fur Kid Angels with The Rainbow Bridge prose ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E--Ok9T1Td0

Many Comforting Hugs to you and your Fur Baby Keesha!!!

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

[trevor]

Hi Dottie, that was the one I was asking about. The others were great as well. Thank you very much for putting the time and effort into posting those it was very thoughtful of you and is very much appreciated. Take care:)

[AngelCareOne]

I'm glad it was the right one, Trevor. You take care, too.

Big Hugs to you and Fur Angel Baby Keesha!!!

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

[trevor]

Hi Keesh, today is the 5 month mark. I can't believe you've been gone that long. It sure doesn't seem it. I still miss you so much. I think about you all the time and often wonder if you'd still be with us if I didn't go through with the euthanization. I know it probably was the best thing for you but I just can't help but wish I didn't make that decision and maybe you'd still be here. I know its selfish on my part as you would have suffered but I just hate not having you around. I think I'd feel a little better about everything if I was atleast with you at the end. I hate it that I wasn't by your side. I'm so sorry I wasn't there.

I'm really not looking forward to Christmas this year. It will be so weird without you. It will be my first Christmas in 14 years without you. It just won't be the same. I just hope there is an after-life and you're in heaven and you're young and healthy again. I hope you're watching over us and that you are here in spirit. At times I still feel guilty getting another dog and that you're up there looking down at us wondering why you're gone and why we have another dog here. I hope you understand and know that you will always be my favorite. You cannot be replaced Keesh. Anyway just wanted to let you know how much I miss you and that I love you. Talk to you later baby girl.

[AngelCareOne]

{{{{{To Trevor from Keesha}}}}}

[madi]

Just read your story Trevor, it's difficult I know, been there myself, didn't get to say goodbye to my soul mate either. I know Ulriich loved me when he died even though I wasn't there and Keesh loved you too. The bond of love is way too strong to be severed merely by distance. It doesn't seem to matter what decisions we make, we always think we have made the wrong one when it comes to our pets, I think it's because we are trying to put some reason to it because we want them back so much. It will be my first Christmas without Ulriich too and it's not going to be easy, I just adored that cat. I will have a special thought for you this Christmas. I see Dottie has put one of her special posts on to cheer you up, hope it helps. Hugs.

madi xx

[trevor]

Madi, thanks I appreciate it. I'm sorry about Ulriich....I read your thread and what a terrible way to lose a pet. It really stinks not being able to say good-bye to them. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

Dottie, thanks again for the video. All of them have been great and appreciated! They all seem to bring tears to my eyes but that's ok:) Take care and I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

[AngelCareOne]

You're very welcome Trevor. Sometime tears are good and cleansing so one can see with a whole new perspective.

Many Comforting Hugs to you and your Angel Fur Kid Keesha!!!

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

[trevor]

Hi Keesha, its been a while since I've written to you. Its not that I've forgotten you or miss you any less. Far from it actually as I think about you everyday and I still miss you like crazy. Believe it or not its 8 months today. Hard to imagine you've been gone that long. It still hurts but I've learned to move on without you but it just isn't the same without you around here.

I can't seem to get the last couple days we were together out of my mind and unfortunately those aren't necessarily the memories I want to remember you by as I wish I could just think of the good times we had together. I just can't help but remember the pain you were in with your broken leg.....it still makes me mad to think how long it took to find a vet who could get you into surgery. I still picture you in the back of the mini-van on that 4 hr trip to the animal hospital. Then sitting at the back of the van with me waiting for the tech to come out and get you. I knew you were in so much pain but you were still so upbeat and brave. I was very proud of you. I remember when the tech finally came out and carried you away--not knowing it would be the last time I would ever see you again. If I would have known that I would have hugged and kissed you a lot more than I did that day. I still think of that dreadful phone call I got the next day from the vet stating he found a large tumor on your leg and that you had bone cancer and it would be in your best interest to let you go. Of course what made matters worse was that I drove back home the night before and was 4 hrs away and couldn't be with you. That day was the worst day of my life and a day I'll probably never forget.

Anyways Keesh I just wanted to tell you how much I love you and that I miss you very much. I pray everyday that we'll be together again one day. Until then you take care baby girl!

[trevor]

Hi Keesh, its one year today that I had to let you go. It doesn't seem possible you've been gone that long. Its been a rough year to say the least. It seems like it was just the other day that I was taking you on that four hour ride to the animal hospital to have what we thought was going to be routine surgery on your broken leg only to find out you had bone cancer and it would be in your best interest to let you go and not suffer anymore. It was the hardest and most painful decision I've ever had to make. I miss you as much today as ever. I still talk to you everyday, usually on my way to work while glancing at a picture of you I have in my truck. I hope you can hear me and know I haven't forgotten you. Its strange but even a year later I occasionally walk in the house and expect you to greet me at the door or look outside and expect to see you sitting on the front steps. One thing that frustrates me Keesh is that I hardly ever have dreamed about you. I can remember four maybe five times tops in a year. I can dream about strangers or people I hardly know yet I can't have a dream about the thing that meant the most to me.

Something that bothers me is that I'm starting to forget things about you. Not major things but some of the smaller things.....I don't know if its because we have another dog now and seeing her everyday has made my memory fail me or what but I don't want to forget anything about you and it scares me a little seeing it happen already. One thing is for sure though I'll never forget what a great dog you were and what a great friend you were. I love you and miss you baby girl!

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I hardly post on here anymore but I do come on once or twice a week and I think I've read every thread on here and I just want everyone to know you're all in my thoughts and prayers.

[tahoeden]

Trevor,

Just sitting here reading posts, and read your first one, and now see that a year has gone by. It's been close to 2 months for me now. I too feel robbed that I, like you, have few (actually only one) dreams about my Kota. Keesh knows you haven't forgotten. Kind of like at the end of the movie, Ghost, when he says, "It's amazing, you take the love with you wherever you go." When you think about it, a year has gone by, but it was just a small percentage of time compared to the time that the two of you had together. It just sucks. Anyways, wanted to commemorate this special, but painful day. Take care.

Dennis

[trevor]

Hi Keesha, Its been a tough couple weeks as were at that one year mark and i've really missed you a lot lately. Just wanted to say hi and tell you how much I miss you and love you. I think i've finally figured out how to post a picture of you so i hope it works.

[tahoeden]

Nice pics of Keesha. Was she lucky enough to live full time in the area where the pics were taken...amid the snow, trees and river. Time can heal, but not cure or take away the missing, love, caring and memories. Such a spirited looking dog. I wish you some peace of mind.

Dennis

[trevor]

Thanks Dennis! Actually the pics were taken in New Brunswick(Canada) at my parents house. I live in Maine now but I'm right on the US/Canadian border so I'm only about 20 minutes away from their house so I used to take Keesha over their quite often as she loved visiting them and loved going into the brook and river. Living in Maine we obviously get plenty of snow in the winter time which Keesha loved.....she wasn't a big fan of the cold but loved sitting out on the snow on a nice sunny day.

You're right time can heal the pain to a certain degree but it cannot take away those emotions you mentioned. There will always be that void and that hole in your heart. Like you I'm sure with Kota, I'd do anything to have her back with me. I got another dog(a siberian husky named Maya) and I love her to death but I don't quite have that bond I had with Keesha. I can honestly say I'll never feel towards another dog like I feel about Keesha. That said as long as I'm capable of providing for one I'll always have a dog. As much as it hurts when you lose them the joy they bring to your life while they're here greatly outweighs that pain.

I know you're having a rough time dealing with the loss of Kota and I totally understand as I was in the same boat and still struggle a year later. Losing Keesha was worse than losing any of my relatives and I loved them dearly but there is just that special bond you have with your pet and when you lose them it is devestating. Its obvious from your posts how much you loved Kota and I think it would be great if you decided to adopt another dog. You could give another dog a great life like you gave Kota and that dog would obviously love you unconditionally in return. Its amazing how fast they grow on you....I got Maya as a puppy only 2 and a half weeks after Keesha died(guilt!) and I couldn't believe how quickly I fell in love with her. I honestly don't know if I could have gotten through this grieving process without her. Anyway do what's best for you and hang in there. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

[tanbuck]

Trevor, your pictures of Keesha are beautiful. I love the marking on her chest. She looked so happy laying on that snow! Good memories but painful as well, I'm sure. I'm coming up on one year since we lost the first of 3 precious babies. Isn't it funny how time flies and creeps by at the same time?
Anyway, I just wanted to comment on your pictures and say that I'm happy you have found love with another dog. Although, I totally understand what you mean about the bond that can't be replaced or duplicated. But, I'm glad you're loving again. That's the most important thing, I think. Take care.
-Donna