Shock Is Now Turning Into Realization Options

[Scarlett]

Grief is a strange thing. I thought I was working through my grief - although I was not sure I would ever really heal. Now I realize the past 3 1/2 weeks was really all just a stage of shock. Losing my Callym was just raw and hurt.

Now I find myself weeping in bed at night, and waking up feeling really lonely. The permanence of his loss is starting to really hit home. I think my grief is entering a new phase. I am realizing that this is not just about shock and disbelief, that this is not a trial separation for a few weeks or months - Callym has passed on. It's hurting and is painful all over again. I am functioning okay in day to day life, but the hurt is so deeply embedded as I really learn to accept my darling has passed on. I don't want to accept this.

[petmum]

wow Scarlett you hve put into words exactly what it is I must be feeling, I can so relate to how u r feeling. Just when I thought I was dealing with our loss, BANG!!!!
It changes darn it.....it's just so...........................unexplainable...........and oh so deep.
{{{HUGS}}} to you

[nicole'smom]

I know how you feel, Scarlett. You said it so well. I experienced the same deeper realization that Nicole was gone after the initial shock had subsided somewhat. I thought I was coming to an acceptance of her death and I guess on one level I was. But in one moment I'll always remember it hit me with such a force that she was really gone. It was as though I'd just woke up to face the cold hard reality that she had actually died. My Nicole was dead. I was never going to see her again.
It's been a little over 6 months since my darling Nicole died and I've come to accept that she's gone. I have no choice. My heart goes out to you now and your beautiful Callym.

[Bue's Mommy]

Hi Scarlett, it's just about 2 yrs for me. Althoiugh it doesn't feel like I lost him yesterday, it
still hurts, alot.

[Sammie girl'...]

Scarlett,

I understand wholeheartedly how you feel. One day I'm feeling pretty good and the next day I'm a mess. I've never been in less control of myself in my life and I'm kind of a control freak. If I do start to feel a bit better guilt creeps its ugly head up again like I'm not supposed to feel that way. It is all normal, it's all hard and it all sucks. It really hurts. I'm thinking about you and praying for strength. Keep writing. It is sure helping me.

[patricia]

hi scarlett. boy i couldnt have said it better myself. there are days when it all seems so surreal and i wish so hard and i want so bad to come home and find my little ones in the corner of the bed, asleep. i believe ive mentioned this before but i still cry over my sweet babies that i lost many many years ago. youre never the same again. all we can do is pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and move forward. but everytime we lose our loved one, we get knocked back so very far. someone on this site reminded me of that wonderful quote a while back that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. i hold on to that with a very tight grip because i am thankful that i had them in my life. i am better for having them. but i so understand. it is just so so hard. there are days when i just want to stay in bed and sleep so i can forget the horrible pain.

i pray for all of you every day. that we can find the strength to continue day by day and live the way our babies would want us to.

hugs to all
patricia

[Scarlett]

Well, reading these replies is a comfort. Clearly a number of us feel similarly to one another. I guess one positive thing is that there clearly are a number of pets out there who are adored and cherished beyond anything words could describe. Not every pet is so lucky, but clearly the pets we are all talking about on here - well they are some of the luckiest animals out there to be so loved both in life and after their passing.

Hugs to you all and also to all of your pets - those pets both with you and those who have passed on.

The longing to see my Callym seems to be getting greater by the minute...

[petmum]

{{{HUGS}}}

[Candy's Dad]

I feel the same way. It's been a year since I lost my Candy and it still hurts. I miss my little girl.

Candy's Dad

Hal

[Scarlett]

Every day I miss Callym more and more. I thought time was supposed to heal the scars, and let the fond memories take over from the grieving? His passing just saddens me more and more with every day that comes and goes. The longing to see him again is almost unbearable it hurts so much.

[ceaserthings]

I understand...I miss my Ceaser very much and it is very difficult. He was still young and I feel he was very healthy. He was only 12 years old.
I believe what happened to my Ceaser was a true accident he was not supposed to die just yet.
I am also upset and it is not easy at all no matter how much time and Heaven talk...I know he is in Heaven but I miss his physical presence very very much!!!
Hang in there......and this site is wonderful for what we are going through!

hugs!!

[petmum]

{{{HUGS}}} just for you