My Grief Is Unbearable Options

[Molsonsmom]

On March 10, 2009, I lost my sweet handsome boy, Molson. His story is long and the end sad. We had to put our baby to sleep. I miss him so much and am having much difficulty dealing with his passing. He was one month shy of his 13th Birthday. I can only hope that he is okay and is happy in a much better place and knows that he could not have been loved anymore than he was. The joy and memories that we shared are immense and I long for the time when these are all I can feel.[/font]

[Candy's Dad]

I'm so sorry for your loss of Molson. He looks sooooo sweet, I can tell how loving he is and I know he'll be terribly miss. Our furbabies are so precious to us that the pain and grief of their loss can feel unbearable, but know there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and they'll be there waiting for us.

Molson will always be in your heart and don't be surprised if once in awhile you sense his presense or hear him. They never truly leave us.

My condolences and know we all feel the pain with you.

All our hugz,

Candy's Dad

Hal

[moon_beam]

Hi, Molsonsmom, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your precious Molson. Thank you so much for sharing a picture of your precious companion with us. This grief healing journey is never easy - - no matter how many times we have traveled the road before - - for each loss is unique because each relationship we have with our furkids is unique. Please know you are not alone in your journey - - we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us, Molsonsmom. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[AngelCareOne]

My deepest condolences for your loss of precious fur child Molson. I'm winging many loving Angels to soothe you and guide you through what must be just about the most gosh awful devastation you're feeling. Please click on the picture of you fur Angel baby boy Molson and I pray you find at least some small comfort.

Who can say for certain maybe you're still here. I feel you all around me. Your memory's so clear.

Deep in the stillness, I can hear you speak. You're still an inspiration. Can it be? That you are my Forever Love. And you are watching over me from up above!

Fly me up to where you are beyond the distant star. I wish upon tonight to see you smile! If only for a while to know you're there. A breath away's not far to where you are.

Are you gently sleeping here inside my dream? And isn't faith believing all power can't be seen. As my heart holds you just one beat away, I cherish all you gave me everyday!

'Cause you are my Forever Love watching me from up above.
And I believe that Angels breathe and that love will live on and never leave!

Fly me up to where you are, beyond the distant star! I wish upon tonight to see you smile. If only for a while to know you're there. A breath away's not far to where you are!

I know you're there! A breath away's not far to where you are!

Many Comforting Hugs!

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

[Molsonsmom]

Thank you all for your kind words and condolences. It's great to know that I'm not alone.

I wrote a letter to Molson today. I wanted him to know that I missed him dearly. I missed how he would prance when he walked and how when he was ahead of me, he would look back every now and then with that beautiful face to make sure I was following. I miss how when I would be bringing in the groceries from the car, he would stand in the doorway of the garage and supervise. My list of things that I miss are endless. I told him that I was sorry to have let him suffer in any way just so that I could keep him with me just a little bit longer. I was hoping for a miracle I guess. Molson lost his sight before he died and his hearing wasn't the best. It was the second time that he lost his sight. He was able to see again after taking medication the first time. He continued to see for a full two months afterwards. What a gift that was. But in the end, wiithout his senses, he was unable to do all of the things that he loved. He always enjoyed being with me just as I loved to be with him and was unable to do so without his sight. This broke my heart the most. I hope that he knew I was there when he crossed over. I knew that it would be painful to watch, but I couldn't bear to not be with him when he was always with me. He lifted his head after the procedure and looked in the direction of the injection. I am haunted by this. Has this happened to anyone else? I keep replaying it in my mind wondering what he felt at that moment. Once he rested his head back down, I felt his last breath.

My home is very quiet. My other dogs are subdued. It is just so different without Molson. He was the pack leader; the King. It's so quiet. My faith is being tested. I hope for a sign that he is okay and is somehow still with me.

[ann]

Hi Molsonsmom, I'm so sorry for your loss. The quality of life for him was no longer there and you gave him the best gift you could give. Accepting this comes with heartache, but in time you will be at peace with it. Keep your mind and heart open and you will be getting many "signs" from Molson to let you know he is all around you, always by your side.
The day I put my Arthur down, is a day that haunts me too. I was ill and could bearly talk, all he heard must have been mumbo jumbo thru that and tears with many I love yous thrown in. He looked at me so scared. Then the worst, he looked away from me towards the wall. All I could think of was how dissapointed he must have been with me for not keeping my promise that everything was going to be ok. I wish I knew about sedating him b4 hand. I've learned a lot from the people here and will know better what to do if I'm ever in that position again.
Molson joins many beautiful souls now, he's happy and healthy again and with 20/20 vision keeping an eye/or 2 on you...Many hugs.. Ann

[enigma]

I am very sorry for your loss. I cried along with your post, because I am going through much of the same pain and experiences that you are. My 10 yr old dachshund, Chipper, also went blind during his last year due to diabetes. It saddened us very much but he never seemed to let it bring his spirit down. He always managed to find his way around, running into a few things here and there. When we had to put him to sleep on this past Christmas Eve, he had spent a week in the hospital. It broke our hearts that he had to be up there, in a cage, with out being able to see anything going on or knowing where his family was even though we visited every day. I held him in my arms as he crossed over, and although it was a very peaceful experience- I am haunted by his lifeless eyes opening shortly after his last breath. Although I know that he was already gone and not feeling anything- they looked so distressed...a look of "why did you do this?" I know that this is something conjured up my by conscience, but it is still very difficult to deal with.

Molson is a beautiful boy and I can see why you miss him so dearly. I wish you peace during this difficult time. Take comfort in knowing he is no longer in pain, has perfect vision, and is doing all of the things he used to love to do but could no longer do them here on earth. This is the only thing that gets me through the day sometimes. Have faith that we will be with them again.

[Molsonsmom]

Thank you all so much for your thoughts and prayers. They help.

I's so sorry for your losses. Each of your fur babies are beautiful and your stories touching.

I did sedate Molson in the end, so why he looked at the site, I'm not sure. Curiosity I hope. I hope it wasn't pain or fear.

The crying has subsided some. I've been trying to busy my mind, but one single thought can easily cause a meltdown. All of the firsts have been hard.

The sun's been out the past two days. Wish he were here to see it.

I must be healing for today, I was able to gather his stuff together and be grateful for them. I will cherish them forever.

I'm dreading the call to pick up his ashes.....

I miss my friend.

[goliath]

The sun's been out the past two days. Wish he were here to see it.

You gave Molson the ultimate gift by taking on his pain so he would no longer have to endure it. Such a great gesture of love in putting his needs before your own. He trusted you in every way to make decisions for him that he could not make for himself.

Molson is the sunshine that will forever shine in your heart. Though his body has perished you can be sure his loving spirit shines on and walks right along with you today. The love the two of you shared created a bond that can never be severed not in this world nor the next. The memories Molson left are the gift he left for you to carry you through the rest of yours days here on earth til one day you and he meet again in a place that is everlasting.

Much love with many comforting hugs from my heart to yours,
Beth

[Molsonsmom]

Yesterday March 17th was the one week anniversary of Molson's passing.

Also, his ashes were returned to me.

Difficult day.

I guess the ashes put closure on things. I was surprised at how little ashes I received with him being such a big dog. It's hard to believe that they are my sweet boy.

The grief I feel is easing up some. I think of him all day everyday, but mostly only happy thoughts and memories. I am so priviledged to have spent close to 13 beautiful years with him. I would do it all again knowing the grief that I would have to bear in the end. He was a wonderful companion and friend.

[Molsonsmom]

I received a telephone call this evening from America's Funniest Home Videos. A funny clip of Molson will be airing on their show Sunday evening, March 22nd on ABC.

So bittersweet....

[Candy's Dad]

I received a telephone call this evening from America's Funniest Home Videos. A funny clip of Molson will be airing on their show Sunday evening, March 22nd on ABC.

So bittersweet....

Wow, that's terrific. I'll be sure to keep an eye out for it.


Take care

Candy's Dad

[goliath]

I think of him all day everyday, but mostly only happy thoughts and memories. I am so priviledged to have spent close to 13 beautiful years with him. I would do it all again knowing the grief that I would have to bear in the end.

Each day we have with one we love so much is such an everlasting gift. When Molson came into your life, a seed was planted in your heart and a special love was born. That special kind of unique love grew stronger and bigger each day as you and he nourished each others spirit and became a permanent part of each other. That will never change because the bond you created with each other is unbreakable.....bound between worlds.

Just like you, I would do it all over again. Nothing in this world had ever brought me as much joy and happiness as my Goliath gave me and I him. He enriched my life and soul in so many ways. How truly blessed we were indeed to have had the privilege of spending Molosn's and Goliath's lives with them. The wonderful memories of times spent with them are the gift they leave us to carry in our hearts for the rest of our natural days here on earth.

The missing never stops........Goliath is still my first thought in the morning when I awaken and my last thought before I close my eyes to sleep. He slept in my arms his whole life and it is still at bedtime that I miss him the very most.

Hang onto those happy memories of the life you and Molson had with each other. What a blessing for you! Keep coming to LS and tell us more about the times you and he shared together as you are able. This journey of healing is long and hard. Some days are easier than others. However, it's comforting to know that we never have to walk alone. There's always someone here to help carry another through the rougher road. As we walk together, we can pick up the pieces of our broken hearts and find our happier selves once again.

Many hugs of love and comfort from my heart to yours,
Beth

[katzen11]

what a beautiful dog
your precious Molson
feeling with you
Eva

[Molsonsmom]

Molson was the one opening the refrigerator on the Show last night. It confused some because the Show named him Bentley, and I'm not sure why that is.

What a big crazy boy he was. I'm sure that he enjoyed showing off to all of his new buddies at the rainbow bridge! His buddies here still miss him dearly.

I think of Molson all day everday and some days are worse than others, but it's comforting to know that you guys are here. I am so grateful for this site and for everyone on it.

Michele

[LoveThem]

I am so sorry about Molson. I loved his picture. It seems my life has been full of big dogs or little cats..and they are all wonderful. Molson is the kind that one can hug all day. And his nose is just perfect for a kiss on the top of the snout.

I can see it is helping you to come here and write as your thinking has a lot of positive in it...that's what helps the healing. Take it all one day at a time and remembering the good years helps keep the sadness and pain down.

It is good to hear you had those years with him. The oldest dog I had was about 12. I know the bigger ones seem to have less years but with them...each one of those years is priceless.

Molson is at peace but as an Angel he is still with you and watching over you and listening to you.
You are his world, always was and always will be.

Hugs to you and your new Angel, Molson.
Judy

[Molsonsmom]

Thanks for your post Judy. Sharing 12 beautiful years with him was a blessing.

Sometimes, it's still unreal to me that he's gone. I think of him all day everyday. Seeing his picture and any "big yellow dog" that resembles him is painful - I long to hold my monkey one more time.

I do hope that he is at peace and that it was my last gift to him.

Michele

[LoveThem]

Yes, Michele, I agree with what you are saying.

I think it will always seem somewhat unreal our babies are not here. And it is so normal to think of them everyday. Of course, I have put pictures of mine in every room...so it is easy to think of them each time I walk into any room. But I remember those pictures were of happy, healthy times and I can smile looking at them, remembering that.

And yes, I too see others that remind me of the different babies I have had and the sight always stirs those memories again. We seem to all feel wanting to hold them one more time so that must be a very natural stage of grieving..for we know that one more time would never be long enough.

I believe your boy is at peace, as mine is, and that was the most loving gift we truly could give him. I guess I think it is the most loving because it truly was the hardest.

Peace and healing are my wishes for you...and they do come..in time. We will never forget our best friend because we simply love them too much to ever do so. The happy, healthy times are the positive memories we work to remember as they help make the sadness and pain of missing them...somewhat more bearable. But they will always be with us in our hearts, which I think of as their "forever home". A place they can never leave.

Judy

[Molsonsmom]

I, too, have pictures, but am working on putting up more. I also have a video from AFV with him in it. He is an international superstar!

Yes, you are so right that holding them one more time would never be long enough...

Thanks again for your wishes....I do appreciate them and wish the same for you. I am working towards remembering the positive so that the sadness and pain will become more bearable.

"But they will always be with us in our hearts, which I think of as their "forever home". A place they can never leave."...thank you for sharing this - I love it.

[katzen11]

He is an international superstar!

so, Molsonsmom
we are waiting for more pictures and a video
from your sweet international superstar
love
Eva
Jimmy Klinger
Felix von Hollabrunn