Lost Time Options

[I miss mouses]

I keep rambling this over and over in my head so I figure if I type it out maybe it will stop...
Mouses I am so sorry. We were going to move and I was going to make up the lost time to you. Every night when the kids went to bed, I went to bed with you. I watched TV with you for a few hours and then we went to bed. I would pet you and you would purr on and off for the whole 2-3 hours. Eventually I would turn off the TV and we would lay together on our left sides. I would pet you, and we would fall asleep. You would often go above my head to spend the rest of the night with me.
Around May of 2008 I started to skip watching TV with you and started to spend time on the computer looking for houses. The house was quite, it was my best time to look. You did not like this. You had a clock in your head, you knew it was bedtime. I would pull the bed down for you, and put you on your pillow. You would get down and go eat and drink. Then you'd come back and stand behind me (bed is behind computer desk area). You would just stand there quietly and wait. I'd say, "I'm sorry Mouses, I'll be there soon." Eventually you'd sit down, and then eventually you'd pout and curl up and go to sleep. I always swooped you up when I was done. I'd always lay us down on our left sides and try and pet you for an hour. You purred the whole time. All was forgiven...I hope.
I am so sorry for the time I lost with you this past 8 months. Not every night, but most nights from May -Jan I went on the computer instead of doing our TV time. I was going to go back to our ritual when we moved. I was so looking forward to it. I would sit at the computer every night and chant to myself, "your going to move soon, your going to make it up to her, and this will never be a part of her ending." Never in my life did I think you would die at 12. Never in my life did I think you wouldn't be moving with us. I can't believe the one year (of your 12 years of life) I spent away from you at night...is the one year you pass away. Murphy's law!!! We kept being outbid on houses, so this move took so much longer than I expected. I'd finally think I was done with my house search, and then I'd have to start all over.
Besides your unexpected and fast ending, all I keep seeing in my head is you waiting behind me. Finally giving up and going to sleep. I am so sorry Mouses, for you and me. I lost a lot of good cuddle time with you. Each month I felt worse and worse. I missed you. Why didn't I just stop it? I wish so much I had spent the last 8 months of your life like we used to. What a better ending that would have made. I miss that so much. I'm sorry sweetheart. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I am sorry now that your gone, I keep going to bed. I now watch tv with your pillow and your urn. We were going to move soon. I was going to go back to normal. The Monday night before you died. I watched a movie with you and skipped the computer. Then we laid on our left sides together and went to sleep. I am so greatful for that memory. I know I watched a movie here, and there, but it wasn't as much as before (I'm trying to make a list of TV/movie nights). You even started to go sleep on the couch instead. I'm sorry! I wish I could re-do even the last four months. I'm sorry pumpkin. I hope you forgive me. I turned around and looked at you a million times, but it is not the same as being together.

Time lost. 2-3 hours for 8 months is a lot of time lost. Wish you were moving with us sweetheart. Not being able to do what I was looking forward to doing is killing me. Sometimes I worry this is why you left me. Please say it's not true. I love you my baby girl, forever and ever. I still can't believe we are leaving your home. We put the move on hold for 2 months, but we need to go. Thank goodness I have 200 pictures of you in all of your favorite spots. It is so comforting being here. I don't want to go.

[openhearted87]

I'm so sorry for your loss. your story made me cry. your new angel knows that she/he was loved. thats what counts. you gave mouses a wonderful 12 years. i felt the same way when my angel acorn passed suddenly from a disease at one year old last summer. i was angry with myself for not taking him outdoors more or letting him out of his cage instead of hooking him up to a machine to get fluids at the end and spending a lot of his short life away in college. still i tell myself that he knew that he was loved and important from all the time i did spend with him. i hope you can grow to feel that way too. keep your heart open to signs from your angel. i'm sure she/he will follow you to your new home and be by your side.

with love corina and her angels

I keep rambling this over and over in my head so I figure if I type it out maybe it will stop...
Mouses I am so sorry. We were going to move and I was going to make up the lost time to you. Every night when the kids went to bed, I went to bed with you. I watched TV with you for a few hours and then we went to bed. I would pet you and you would purr on and off for the whole 2-3 hours. Eventually I would turn off the TV and we would lay together on our left sides. I would pet you, and we would fall asleep. You would often go above my head to spend the rest of the night with me.
Around May of 2008 I started to skip watching TV with you and started to spend time on the computer looking for houses. The house was quite, it was my best time to look. You did not like this. You had a clock in your head, you knew it was bedtime. I would pull the bed down for you, and put you on your pillow. You would get down and go eat and drink. Then you'd come back and stand behind me (bed is behind computer desk area). You would just stand there quietly and wait. I'd say, "I'm sorry Mouses, I'll be there soon." Eventually you'd sit down, and then eventually you'd pout and curl up and go to sleep. I always swooped you up when I was done. I'd always lay us down on our left sides and try and pet you for an hour. You purred the whole time. All was forgiven...I hope.
I am so sorry for the time I lost with you this past 8 months. Not every night, but most nights from May -Jan I went on the computer instead of doing our TV time. I was going to go back to our ritual when we moved. I was so looking forward to it. I would sit at the computer every night and chant to myself, "your going to move soon, your going to make it up to her, and this will never be a part of her ending." Never in my life did I think you would die at 12. Never in my life did I think you wouldn't be moving with us. I can't believe the one year (of your 12 years of life) I spent away from you at night...is the one year you pass away. Murphy's law!!! We kept being outbid on houses, so this move took so much longer than I expected. I'd finally think I was done with my house search, and then I'd have to start all over.
Besides your unexpected and fast ending, all I keep seeing in my head is you waiting behind me. Finally giving up and going to sleep. I am so sorry Mouses, for you and me. I lost a lot of good cuddle time with you. Each month I felt worse and worse. I missed you. Why didn't I just stop it? I wish so much I had spent the last 8 months of your life like we used to. What a better ending that would have made. I miss that so much. I'm sorry sweetheart. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I am sorry now that your gone, I keep going to bed. I now watch tv with your pillow and your urn. We were going to move soon. I was going to go back to normal. The Monday night before you died. I watched a movie with you and skipped the computer. Then we laid on our left sides together and went to sleep. I am so greatful for that memory. I know I watched a movie here, and there, but it wasn't as much as before (I'm trying to make a list of TV/movie nights). You even started to go sleep on the couch instead. I'm sorry! I wish I could re-do even the last four months. I'm sorry pumpkin. I hope you forgive me. I turned around and looked at you a million times, but it is not the same as being together.

Time lost. 2-3 hours for 8 months is a lot of time lost. Wish you were moving with us sweetheart. Not being able to do what I was looking forward to doing is killing me. Sometimes I worry this is why you left me. Please say it's not true. I love you my baby girl, forever and ever. I still can't believe we are leaving your home. We put the move on hold for 2 months, but we need to go. Thank goodness I have 200 pictures of you in all of your favorite spots. It is so comforting being here. I don't want to go.