Mr X Is Traveling Through His Last Day......... Options

[JanEeee]

Well, the little guy is on the road fully now, he is only with me still by a whisker. He lost weight over the weeks that he has been ailing, his appetite waned and even drinking water became very difficult. Seems odd that we know so little of the dying process and avoid it so. It is truly one of the cycles of life and nothing to fear.

But I am aching with every moment that he nears his last breath, it seems impossible to think that he will be gone after 12 years with me. So many different times that we shared, amazing the history of our friendship when I stop to consider it.

I got both him and Molly Malone in 1997. He was an 8 week old siamese kitten and she was a 6 mos old tabby. She was formerly a street kitty and used to fending for herself, very independent and feisty. One day I opened the front door a little too quickly and Mr X got too close to Molly----this was when they were still getting used to each other----and she gave him a good whack, right in the eyeball! Yow! Put me in a panic when I saw it, that's for sure.

Ended up at the vet and then a veterinary opthamologist, for Pete's sake. They told me that they might have to take his eye out as there might be some sort of infection developing. That, of course, put me through another series of concerns. It also gave me an opportunity to name him. Kitty Pirate with an eye patch? Or, perhaps a strange alien cyclops feline from the Planet Zorg! And so Mr X was christened.

So many other times he gave me joy and made me laugh. He always loved water. I had a guest visiting one day and from the bathroom I hear, "No, no, no!". There was Mr X, a little fluff of kitten fur popping in to share a shower with my friend!

He would even hop up to the edge of the tub and lap up the water when I was taking a bath! What a silly boy.

Well, these thoughts cheer me a bit, knowing that he had a good life and that he was a much loved pet.

Thanks for listening, J

[patricia]

im so sorry you are having to go thru this. watching them go is so hard. keep holding on to the good times because that will get you thru the bad times. treasure every second he is still with you and know that we are here to "hold you up"

my prayers are with both of you.
patricia

[Sammie girl'...]

Janeee, I am praying for your strength and last moments together. I'm glad you know it's coming at least so you can say goodbye. Not that it will be easy by any means. I lost my baby while I was on vacation and she was with my friend and that just killed me. It is so painful. I love the name Mr. X though what a fun name for what sounds like a very silly boy. One of my cats loves water like that too. She dips her paws in her water bowl and then pulls her paw up to her mouth to drink. She likes to swish around the shower after I turn the water off and she loves to drink from a faucet. Very funny. It sounds like you two had an amazing life together and I'm so happy for all your great memories. Keep everyone posted and keep writing it will help you get through this.
Melanie

[petmum]

Janeee, my thoughts are with you to give you strength during this intensly difficult time, we all care, {{{HUGS}}} to help you
elaine

[JanEeee]

Mr X has sped on past us and now is one bright star in the sky.

I am feeling the loss and the sadness and yet here I am in the midst of life at a big bookstore in a small mall, people are chatting and snacking and reading........oh, my, it can be such a surprise, such a shock, how life goes on.......

How blessed I was to have such a magical child in my life.......I do miss him so......

J

[patricia]

not only is he a star hes also your angel. im so sad to hear that hes crossed. i wish i could give you a big hug in person but please accept it all the way from california ((((((((hug))))))).

your strength truly inspires me. how blessed we all are to have had the time we did with our little ones.
you are in my prayers.

patricia

[Jay T]

Im so very sorry Janeee,it sure is not easy when our pets leave us , they are in a better place now,please take some time for your self over it ,my condolences again .be well and take care

[Sammie girl'...]

Janeee, I'm so sorry that he's gone from this world. I know the pain and I wish more than anything I could take it away for you. I'm sending a hug and shoulder from Missouri for you to use when needed. Keep remembering the wonderful moments and let us help you when you need. My prayers are with you.
Melanie

[JanEeee]

Thank you thank you thank you......such compassion and kindness........it makes a big difference for me knowing that we share this experience and that you are so open and willing to give me a shoulder to cry on and listen to my sadness.......

Bless you all.....J

[petmum]

Janeee it's amazing how life does go on, i felt like screaming out "don't you all understand that I've just lost my Buddy!!! Everything must stop, u must stop & be sad too!!!" I still feel my chest tightening up when I think of those early days.....BREATHE OUT, THEN IN & OUT AGAIN!!!... there that's a bit better.....I tell you who would hve thought unconditonal love hurt so much when it's gone.......
Peace Be With You Janeee......
elaine

[JanEeee]

Today I am very very glad that I do have one fur-buddy still in my little apartment.

The stupendous tremendous Mr Zouzou, who I adopted last year. He is a gigantic black kitty who is a bit anxious about life (how would you feel if you lost your home/were put up for adoption at the tender age of 6 years?). The first few months I had him, every time I would sit and pet him he gnawed away on his little arms----sort of like someone eating an ear of corn! His upper paws were going bald from this! Funny, but sad, too. He must've been really stressed out going through the adoption process and probably had a stressful home life at his first home, too.

So me and quirky Zouzou are hanging out here together, he is a good listener and I tell him all about the years that Mr X and Molly Malone and I shared.

Miss both of those friends, so impossible to imagine that they are truly gone.

J

[petmum]

i'm glad you've got Mr ZouZou, it helps but doesn't take away the pain of your loss, I'm so glad for you that Mr ZouZou is a good listener, I'm wondering if there will ever come a time when we finally accept the loss of our fur companions, I guess it's that "time" thing that will help
elaine

[JanEeee]

I am trying to remember that life is to be cherished and that the best quality of life comes when I am fully in the moment. This is not easy. I return again and again to the heartbreaking losses of Molly Malone and Mr X. I do remind myself of the many years that we shared and that helps a lot and I also am trying to accept that death is part of life, it is something we will all experience. Still, I feel tender and weepy and struggle with tears many times each day.

Somehow we need to have a better way of sharing our feelings and honoring these dramatic and traumatic losses. In western society we really don't have any public way to do this, we try to shove death "under the carpet" so to speak, and pretend that it doesn't exist. My half-sister's father passed away when she was 10 years old. There was no funeral/memorial, no grieving or talking about anything, there was no family gathering and no supportive relative or friend for my half-sister (we have the same Mom).

I think we all need to share our feelings and be in a supportive environment during these difficult times. We need to develop some sort of way to process our grief and to be able to talk about these devastating losses.

I am so very very glad that this forum exists.

J

[petmum]

AMEN to that Janeee. You encompassed the truth so eloquently.
I too am ever grateful to this forum.
elaine

[JanEeee]

Today is Sunday and my brain is pretty boggled. I am physically and emotionally tired. This is a holiday weekend for us in the U.S. and all I've done all weekend is errands and housework and other tasks.

More sad news from friends. One friend's husband has cancer, another friend's 95 year old mother-in-law has had some falls and is not well. I don't think she has much longer here. Very tough to hear these stories on top of my own broken-hearted loss. Really drains me, both my body and spirit are just worn out.

But I did go see a movie, 'Sunshine Cleaning' which I thought would be funny and have a bit of dark humor, as well. As it turned out there was also a theme of loss and death intertwined with the other part of the story. Strange how I ended up seeing that movie just now. Also, this is true for 'Up', which begins as an elderly man is looking back on his life with his wife (who had passed away).

I am going to see a friend later this morning, I am looking forward to just the warm companionship of another person and one who is not dealing with death and loss right now.

Thanks for coming here and sharing your own stories.

J

[patricia]

take a moment and take a deep breath. yes at times it can be so overwhelming. i know what you mean, it leaves you physically exhausted and emotinally drained. im glad you are going to be in the company of someone who can make you forget. i think everyone nneds to run away every now and then. saturday was a big day and even though i have a wonderful little love, lucy, i must confess that i was not in a celebratory mood. my mother had come over as she often does to visit lucy and when shes there we 9 times out of ten, end up crying as we walk down memory lane of all our loved furry members of our family. we can sit and relive the memories for hours. its so nice to remember them but we always end up in tears. saturday was especially hard because there was one more to remember: my little fred that passed away 4 months ago. (sigh) so hard! my little lucy didnt know what to do with a weeping momma. but like you said in an earlier post, life is to be cherished. so! i am so grateful to have my wonderful lucy in my life. she brings me such joy that it is painful at times. i am grateful for my life, for my mother, for my mothers health, for my friends and all my new friends here on this site. i am grateful for all the wonderful words that have brought me comfort in times that i needed it the most.
thank you for reminding me and everyone that sometimes we just need to count our blessings (even though some of our "blessings" have gone to heaven…)

i hope you are doing ok. remember that mr x and molly are upstairs looking after you. im so glad that you have mr zouzou. i remember whn my first kitty died last year, i was left with fred. when fred passed away, he took with him all the tears i had shed on him. treasure every moment you have with your little one now.

you are in my thoughts and prayers and thank you
patricia

[JanEeee]

It's been about a month now that my dear cat child has gone and yet I continue to very much miss him. Many days are so full of activities that I have not been spending the time I need to spend caring for my own feelings and honoring the loss of this sweet sweet kitty.

Such good friends they are, we have them for such a short time.

[petmum]

that's the amazing thing about our companions they only need a few seconds of our time to be fulfilled even over the rainbow bridge...your time will come to process your feelings & the fact you posted here is honouring your Mr X, perhaps not how you wld like but like I said they don't always need the same amount of time as we do.
go gently
elaine

[JanEeee]

Thanks so much, Elaine......

Sometimes it seems that I am recovering and moving along, that memories of the little guy come to comfort me and then, when I have a moment to stop and truly consider what my feelings are, I realize that I still very much am hurting and deeply miss the little cat that was once my good companion for so many years.

[petmum]

thinking of you JanEeee
elaine