Sadness And Guilt, Death of Bosco Options

[msboom808]

I have never participated in an online forum before but I am incredible sad right now. Yesterday morning, my little Bosco was hit by a car down the street from our house after I let him out for his morning bathroom routine.

I only had Bosco for 5 weeks, I rescued him from the Human Society and he is the first dog I have ever owned. Since I was a little girl, I had wanted a dog and in December, my boyfriend of three years, Mike, said I could get a dog. Mike and I grew incredible attached to Bosco, taking him to the North Shore, out to eat, out with us when we ran errands to the dog park, etc. The incredible human/animal bond was formed strong within a week.

The grief I am feeling right now is unlike anything I have every experienced. I am 28 years old and this is my first real experience with grief. Mike and I had a memorial last night for Bosco, burying him in our backyard and planting flowers, forming a rock border on the grave and sprinkling lei on top (we live in Hawaii).

I cried all day yesterday, I had to text my co-worker that I could not make it into work. This morning, I burst into tears when I went into the kitchen to make coffee and looked at the spot on the couch where Bosco slept and realized that this morning, he was not there but instead he was in his grave.

Bosco brought us so much joy. We do not have children, so had formed our little family. I was so excited to have him and his live was cut far too short. The 5 weeks Bosco came to live with us is time I will always cherish. The howling at ambulances, hanging out the car windows, 6 a.m. face licks, eager and excitement when I return home from work to take him for a walk, him hanging out with me in the kitchen eagerly awaiting a treat, etc.

Mike and I are incredibly sad. I am seeking comfort and support online because although we have each other and I am so grateful for it, I feel the need to express my feelings through writing about Bosco and the overwhelming grief I am experiencing. I had no idea this was so hard. I also had no idea I would be experiencing this so soon. I miss my little buddy Bosco. My heart cries for him.

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[sissycat]

You have definately found the right place!
No matter how long or short of a time they are with us we have that special bond.
I too lost my Sissycat to a car a little over 7 months ago. This place here is wonderful and the people are great for giving support and listening.
Please come back and share stories and picture when you are up to it.
Maybe even post some pictures.
We all share in your pain and grief and we try to heal each other.

It is awful when a tragedy like this happens. I am very sorry for the loss of your dear Bosco!!!

Hugs to you and your new Angel Bosco!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Deanna]

Oh my heart goes out to you. You and I share the same pain. My precious lil' Zoe (she was a sweet lovable westie) got hit by a car as well. It was the most tragic thing that has ever happened in my life. The pain and grief was like nothing I had ever experienced before. I cried and cried and cried, got a couple hours of sleep, woke up and cried some more. I was a complete zombie for months. NOTHING could distract me from thinking about her loss. However, you have found a website with many, many wonderful people who have lost a pet, whether it was by an accident or illness. Although, the pain is the same. Like you, Zoe was my first puppy love. I love her more than anyone in my life. I am happily married with two children, and 10 and an 18 year old. They had grown out of "hanging out w/mom" ...so I decided to get a puppy, (with a persuation of a co-worker, she breeds westies, and she had one female that she had trouble finding a home for her, I had to think long and hard about it, but I told her I would take her. I never knew this little girl would completely take over my heart. As much as they say, don't treat a dog like a kid, that's what I did. I held her, carressing her belly, giving her more treats and toys than a dog would ever need, we played, went on many long walks....oh, did we ever go on long walks....it was heaven on earth with her. We woke up every morning together, played in between me getting ready for work, I live close to work, I would come home for lunch, play and cuddle some more, she would greet me at the front door when I got home from work. I have never seen a tail that swung back n' forth so fast when she saw me. I would come in and pick her up and cover her with kisses, it was pretty much her and I in the evenings, my husband works second shift and my kids were always out doing their thing with their friends. I loved her soooo much. I had her precious soul for a short two years, and that one day when we got home from our walks, I unclipped her leash (like always) and she spotted a rabbit in the next yard and took off after it, and the rabbit shot across the street and Zoe was right behind her ....(there was nothing that was going to stop that lil' girl) and of course, a car was coming and they met. I happend so fast ....I screamed so loud for Zoe ...over and over, but it didn't stop her. She was hit and car kept going....I ran over to her, picked her up, screamed her name over and over, but I felt her little body go limp and she was gone. My heart stopped beating a happy beat that day, and it 's never been the same.

It's been seven months now, I don't cry every day ...only on the beautiful days that I think, this would be a great day to take her for a walk. I have since then, got another westie, (four months ago), her name is Sasha, she is a sweet little girl that has helped me so much. It takes time. I does. Take it one day at a time. Communicate with the wonderful people on this site. I really don't know what I would have done without this site. The support is life changing. These people really know the pain you are feeling now.
Continue to write and tell stories and share more pics of Bosco, it helps.
Take care,
Deanna

[von72]

I'm so sorry for your loss. He is so beautiful. It is easy to form a strong bond so quickly.

It is awful when you lose a pet through an accident as you are also dealing with severe shock as well. I really feel for you so much.

You are in the right place here. We all understand what you are going through and are here whenever you need to talk.

Von

[LuvLabs]

I am very sorry to hear of the traumatic loss of your dear Bosco. My heart goes out to you and your husband at this difficult time.

When I was young, I lost my first dog to a car accident. She was a beautiful little stray, that we only had a short time. I know how I felt, and can relate to your pain. I wasn't sure if I could ever bring another pet into my life again. But, luckily my parents and I rescued a pup from the hound. We had her for 14 wonderful years. I have had several fur babies since then, and each one is unique and special to me.

I wish there was something I could do to ease your pain. But, I am so glad that you found this board. Thank you for sharing Bosco's picture with us. I hope that we can offer you some comfort and peace with our words.

[msboom808]

Thank you everyone for the kinds words. It really helps to know that other people here can relate with loving hearts and share their experiences. Today is day 2 that I woke up without my little Bosco. It isn't any easier, however, last night I asked Mike to share his favorite thing about Bosco after reading in someone else's post that this helps and it turned into a long list of us alternating memories and it helped me remember all the little great things we shared.

This little dog would hang so far out the car window that we had devised a system with the leash and harness to keep him from falling. It was the cutest thing. Through this whole tragedy, Mike and I have grown closer as we learn about grief and how we each express it. It is my hope that the short time we shared our lives with Bosco were wonderful for him. He was the most happiest, carefree and loving creature. It is so nice to read about other people's unique bonds with their pets and how each one was so unique and special and filled their hearts with such joy. I know I will find great comfort in this site.

[Flossie's Mom]

What a sweet little dog Bosco is. The look in his eyes reminds me of the little dog we rescued.... no, the little dog who rescued US in June. She looks somewhat like Bosco in the face but she is solid color and more red. She puts her ears back like that & looks up at us.

I've lost several pets over the years and none are an easy loss. So I have become so over protective that my family get very upset with me. But the one I insisted on doing things MY way, lived to be 17-1/2. She had many medical challenges over the majority of that time but I couldn't give up on her as she was a first class trooper.

For several years I had said that when Flossie left us, I did not want another animal. I'd lost my last cat in 2005 & have had from one to as many as fifteen animals at any given time for over 40 years so felt the last 14 years of special care for my poodle was really all that should be required of me. She was worth it but I claimed I wanted a rest from caregiving. Plus I felt the loss of her was going to hit me so hard that I did not want to go through that anymore. I still don't but it kinda "goes with the territory" I think.

For us, having the new dog and also a cat have been a lifesaver. Our WeeBee, that reminds me of your Bosco, has wrapped us around her little paw like I never thought could happen again. We are amazed every single day at how easy she is to be around. Fits herself in, has taken virtually NO training (a little with the potty as she lived on the streets and seemed like she is unable to hold it for a lon time) She is my husbands dog and he is not good at this sort of thing since I always handled that end of it. She seems to know that as she comes to me. This cat that was given to me (that I also didn't want) has swept me off my feet also.

So much for the NO MORE PETS! Truth be known, way last spring I had been searching the shelter animals listed locally. JUST LOOKING you know.

In any event, you will eventually be able to return to a more normal daily routine. It will not come easily or maybe not even soon. But because you loved Bosco so much, I feel you too will be a sucker for some big brown eyes (or blue). There are many, many more like Bosco that need love and home such as you can give. Bosco will lead you to one when the time is right.

It is disgusting to me the number of animals in my area that are abandonded, abused or just taken to the pound. There are a few right now that are as old as 10 & 12 that have been taken in.......... Something I could never do.

You'll find much comfort here.......... check in often and let us know how you are doing. Hugs to both of you and Bosco today.

Ginger

[ann]

I'm so deeply sorry for your loss. No matter how long or short they are with us, we learn a lot from them. This bond will never be broken. You are still young with a lot of busy years ahead of you. Time and lifes distraction will eventually help ease the pain. Think of all the bonds you will have in the future. I hope when your heart heals you will accept another into your lives. Accidents happen, it's so hard to protect them all the time. Please do not feel this was your fault. Being in their new surroundings they are curious about everything, just like a kid the minute you take your eye off them.......trouble..
You've come to a great support group. We are all here to help eachother. I hope you will find comfort here. You will find just reading others posts and responses helpful. No need to respond if you don't want to. Also, lots of helpful articles and websites to go to on dealing with pet loss. Bosco was a beautiful dog I'm so sorry your time was cut short. Now you know, after waiting all these years for a dog, what they mean by unconditional love. They are great, and you will have many more in the future..In the mean time, don't let anyone dictate how or how long to greive. The only one who can do that is you.. Stay well...Hugs.. Ann

[msboom808]

I made this video last night as a tribute to Bosco. Unfortunately the music has been disabled due to copyright regulations. The song it plays to is "What a Wonderful World" by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole. I cried the entire time I was making it, however, I feel it helped me to remember all the great things about him.

Here is a link to the video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjs2QnzknWw...re=channel_page

I miss you so much my little Buddy.

Everyone on this site has been great with their words of support and empathy. Each day becomes a little easier and I know accept that it is normal to feel sad and that it comes and goes.

[EloosParents]

Oh man, I cried the whole time I watched your video and read your story. I know how hard this is and since I am bawling my eyes out too now I am not sure I can type, but I am sending hugs. It is NOT easy at all to lose a pet and it IS one of the harder things to do.

My kitty Eloo passed on Thursday and I am just sick to my stomach, but I bet that him and Bosco are playing chase across the Rainbow Bridge (Eloo loves dogs!)

RIP Eloo and Bosco Buddies! We miss you guys!

Angelique

[msboom808]

I know Bosco and Eloo are playing together at the Rainbow Bridge! Bosco always wanted someone to run with him and now he can run forever.

I am sorry about Eloo. Thanks for the hugs, I send them right back to you.

[LoveThem]

I came here after seeing your video. It is a beautiful tribute to your boy. I am so very sorry about what happened to him and yes, 5 weeks time is very very short. I am glad you and your boyfriend are comforting each other...I know that helps.

When something happens so unexpected and quickly...it is such a tremendous shock! So you have to work through shock and grief at the same time...either one is difficult...together...it is so much harder.

But remember you are not alone in your feelings. We are there and have been there many times because no matter what happens, we find it in our hearts to get another furbaby, as there are so many that need love and a home and we know there will be future sadness but what they add to our lives especially with their unconditional love, makes having them worthwhile and we wouldn't trade a minute of them being in our lives...to avoid the future sadness.

Life was so unfair to you and Bosco.....5 weeks is tearfully short but we have no control over fate.
I'm glad you did find him and that he was a part of your family for now he has a permanent home in your heart where he can never be hurt or leave.

It is okay to cry, to grieve. It takes time to control the pain and tears and then one day when you think you are in control.....you are overwhelmed again by it all....THIS IS OKAY AND NORMAL TO HAPPEN.

Come here and write your thoughts and feelings anytime. We are always listening. It seems like when we share our pain....it helps it becomes a little less intense.

Your tribute is beautiful. If I had a magic wand...I would bring our loved back to us all, healthy and happy............if I had a magic wand.

I cried losing my boy Little Guy (my last loss) until I was exhausted crying and got mad cause crying wasn't making me feel better. That's why I did go on a search for another, looking for a special connection again, looking for a pair of eyes I would look into and want to bring home to look into every day. I got my new boy, Lucky, from the local SPCA. By getting him, they said they go to the kill Animal Control and rescue one to take his place in the SPCA, a no kill shelter. So by getting one, I have helped two...and also myself.

We each grieve in our own way but many feelings are identical among us. In time we learn that whatever feels right for us to do...is what we should do. Whatever helps us to heal is never wrong.

I know it is sudden, tragic, and fresh. I have been there many times. All I can do is say in time you will find some peace from it all. You will never forget your boy and you will miss him and love him forever but I find it is the missing that causes the pain which is why we can lessen the pain with time by accepting what happened...but it never goes away completely.

I wish you peace and healing.
I can only send you a big, tight, cyberhug.....a way of trying to help your sadness by showing there is a lot of caring here....as we all understand exactly the pain and hurt and tears and it is all so very normal.

Judy