I'm So Sorry Jason Options

[von72]

hello

you can't at the moment because its just such early days. It take weeks to get those images out of your head but eventually they do get less and less until one day you just start to think about the good memories.
I relived the last day over and over and over! After about a month, it got a bit less but its different for everyone. Even now, 3 years on, I'll have a flashback of that awful moment now and again.
I guess it just shows just how much we loved them.

All you can do is take one day at a time for now and be kind to yourself. don't expect too much from youself. He was a huge part of your life and you can't be expected to just get over that in a few days.

I just wanted to press a fast forward button because everyone said 'Time will make it easier'
Well that doesn't help right now.

Unfortunately this is all part of grieving. Its awful and its very painful but it won't always feel this bad. One day you will be able to talk about Jason and the joy he brought to your life without focusing on those last moments.
Just know that how you are feeling right now is normal when you loved someone so much.

take care
Von

[turriri]

A friend just sent me this poem and I thought I'd share it with all of you.

I thought of you today,
but that is nothing new,
I thought of you yesterday,
and will tomorrow too.
Remembering you is easy---
I'll do it everyday.
It's the heartache of losing you
That will never go away.

[sissycat]

I really like that poem!!!!!!

Thanks for sharing it.

Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Nemo's Mommy]

Oh my gosh- I just read your story, it is heart-breaking. It's so hard to suffer a sudden, unexpected loss like that. Take comfort in knowing that your Jason lived 15 wonderful years... that is good for a cat, and treasure those memories. The "what-if" stage is a very hard one to go through.... it haunts you and keeps coming back into your thoughts. But I think everyone goes through the "what-if" stage. Also take comfort in the fact that he was asleep... so he probably passed peacefully.

I lost my cat Zorro to cancer at the end of June, and then my cat Ren to heart disease mid-August. I still think of them every single day, and still cry sometimes, but I take great peace in knowing that our souls are intertwined, and they have never really left me. Just as Jason has never really left you. I'm sure Ren, Zorro and Nemo will show him around the Rainbow Bridge. He is not alone.....

Hugs
Ren, Zorro, and Nemo's Mom

[turriri]

Today was one of the first days that I didn't have the overwhelming need to cry first thing in the morning. A friend and I went to a local PetSmart store and looked at cats that were up for adoption. I'm not quite ready yet but there was one there that looked like my Jason. He let me pet his paws and scratch his head. It felt so good to be able to feel that kitty fur again but at the same time made me really miss my Jason.

Can anyone share with me how much time they took before getting another pet? In a way I want to go out and get new kitties today. I know they won't replace Jason but I just miss having my best friend around. How soon is too soon?

[sissycat]

Hey, If you feel that is right you go ahead. There is no time limit as to when you get another furbaby. You are not trying to replace Jason!!!!!
Some get them right away and some don't.

Myself I waited a few months. Not because I didn't want one, I just didn't feel a connection with any until this little one I have now. I know she will never be my Sissycat, but I can still love her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hugs and keep us posted on your decision!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Jon730]

Can anyone share with me how much time they took before getting another pet? In a way I want to go out and get new kitties today. I know they won't replace Jason but I just miss having my best friend around. How soon is too soon?

I have to tell you...Last March 10th I lost my Catwife Miles. It affected me worse than any loss, animal or human I ever had.

Unknown to me, six days later Iggy was born on the other side of town.

I still get very sad when I find Miles' fur here and there, and the various things she....welll...broke, chewed, clawed, etc....but now I smile a little when I see them.

My wife told me that I never smiled or laughed from March 10 to May 13,..the day Iggy came home with me. When you are ready, when it is right...It's the only thing that healed me enough to function and work without bursting into tears. Poor Iggy has some big boots to fill, but he is such a clown he can only do a good job.

To see the change a new friend can make (And no, of course, NO individual can ever be a replacement for another!!) compare the tones of the thread about Miles, my Catwife, and the tone of "We have Ignatius" n New Beginnings and see what a new friend can do. They try so hard and work their hearts out to cheer us up. They know when we get sad, and then do something so outrageous, they distract us. They quickly get into tune with our moods, and know us better than most of our human friends, and know what to do by instinct.
I think they sense that we have a Love Surplus and respond to it and bond to us more quickly because of it.

[Emma]

I'm so sorry to hear about Jason - he's absolutely gorgeous btw! x please dont blame yourself or think about what ifs, i know its hard, my cat Squidge died recently due to a dog attack that happened way back in March, my what ifs were bad enough when she was left blind after the attack and they got so much worse when she died from it all. but from personal experience, those what ifs - if focused on - are truly awful. and please dont worry about crying - Squidge died almost 4 weeks ago and i still cry, its a grieving process and everyone is different, so dont feel you have to rush yourself or anything like that.

[turriri]

Oh Emma, what a horrible way for Squidge to die. My heart breaks for you.

Yesterday it was one week ago that my Jason passed. I'm still sad but doing much better. After much discussion with my doctor, NEW vet (I'll never use my old vet again), people that have been through pet loss, etc, I have decided that I'm going to adopt two new kitties. I was not thinking of adopting so soon but they just came into my life and it was love at first sight. They'll never replace my furbaby Jason as he was my first cat that I adopted by myself. I'm happy and sad at the same time, happy for the two new girl kitties and sad that they'll never meet their big brother. I'll post their pictures in New Beginnings.

[von72]

thats wonderful you are adopting 2 new kittens! Of course they will never replace Jason but they will bring you much love.

As others have said, there is no right time. Everyone is different and its whatever you feel is right. I adopted Jet in May after losing Jack in January. I would have taken him sooner but they wanted us to be moved house first.

The way I looked at it, there are pets out there who desperately need our love and care and if we can give it, then we should. Then they will give us so much more in return.

[sissycat]

That is so great!!!! I have to agree with von72 that there are so many pets that desperately need someones love. Do let us know how it goes. Who knows maybe your Jason had something to do with you finding them.

Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Emma]

Thankyou, yeah it was horrible, but i just try to focus on that she's at peace now with my Nanny looking after her til we're reunited! i hope the kittens help you a bit hun, in the past when ive lost cats ive normally got a new rescue cat soonish after and found it helped, it isnt replacing them, you cant replace cats, the same as you cant replace humans. i think that you know when the timing is right and when you are ready and if you do get a new cat, then its giving a cat the chance to a happy and loving home. even though ive had a few different cats in the past, Squidge was there before them and had always been there, and i think unless i come across a cat that i feel really needs me and i feel ready, then it'll just be me and Mitz x

[LoveThem]

I look forward to seeing and hearing about your new kitties in New Beginnings. I am glad you made a connection. Adopting another doesn't make the grief disappear but when I did it, it did help me feel better again and hugging another furbaby was what I needed. I didn't want my grief to be in control of my life but I needed the help of another furbaby. They need a home and love. They have love to give. And so do we all.

It is good to read good news. Thank you for sharing.

Peace and healing. We never will forget our special ones. We will miss them forever because we will love them forever. But we do have room in our hearts for another..who needs us as much as we need them.

Judy

[ann]

I'm so happy two little kittens found their way into your heart. Looking forward to pictures. They will never replace your precious Jason, but just add to many happy memories..Best of luck.. Ann

[jasonsmom]

Hello all. Coincidentally, my tuxedo cat also by the name of Jason passed away on January 22 due to kidney failure. He had been on a special diet for years and was doing well, then he suddenly crashed over a few days. It was a shock to us, even though he was 15+. He had no major signs of distress until he slowed right down very suddenly last week. He acted normal and was very affectionate but obviously unwell. We took him to the vet last Thursday, but never brought him home. :-(. This kidney thing, even though he had had it for years, flared up so suddenly, and nothing could be done for him. It is a horrible but common cat condition, and can hide for a long time, then strike suddenly.

We always feel guilty, what did we do , what should we have done and when, we just don't like playing God in their lives, we do what we think is best at the time.

To good memories of Jasons!!!

[turriri]

Hello all. Coincidentally, my tuxedo cat also by the name of Jason passed away on January 22 due to kidney failure. He had been on a special diet for years and was doing well, then he suddenly crashed over a few days. It was a shock to us, even though he was 15+. He had no major signs of distress until he slowed right down very suddenly last week. He acted normal and was very affectionate but obviously unwell. We took him to the vet last Thursday, but never brought him home. :-(. This kidney thing, even though he had had it for years, flared up so suddenly, and nothing could be done for him. It is a horrible but common cat condition, and can hide for a long time, then strike suddenly.

We always feel guilty, what did we do , what should we have done and when, we just don't like playing God in their lives, we do what we think is best at the time.

To good memories of Jasons!!!

That is so weird. I named my cat Jason because I adopted him on Friday the 13th. He was 15+ years also and looked alot like your Jason. He also had kidney problems and died the 16th of January, almost one week before your Jason. Again, he was also acting normal at home and was just in for his regular checkup when everything went wrong.

I'm very sorry to hear about the loss of your Jason. And I agree, "to good memories of Jasons"!

[turriri]

I just got Jason's ashes back from his vet this afternoon. The tears have started again.

[LoveThem]

Let them flow............it is very normal, natural, and very much okay. Don't hold back. He is a precious soul and I feel tears starting just reading what you just said.

It hurts so very badly when it is so fresh but having them in our lives is worth the pain. We just wish the sadness didn't have to be..but that is a part of it all that we can't control.

Hugs and crying with you,

Judy

[jasonsmom]

I am sorry about your Jason, I know how you must feel, devastated. My vet called me tonight and my Jason's ashes are back too :-( It really hit home that he is gone. I am putting his little urn, his food bowl and his favourite toy on the mantelpiece. I am considering putting his ashes under his favourite tree in the spring, maybe. Now the other cat who has been with him for 14 years is lonely and driving us nuts.................

[jasonsmom]

P.S. Turriri, your Jason is really cute!