Losing My Baby, Afraid My dog Murphy is dying Options

[jim]

First off, thanks for listening. I am so glad I found this forum.

My baby, Murphy, is a 9 year old German Shepard/Rottweiller mix. My wife and I cannot have children and he is our baby. We have had him since he was 7 weeks old. In January he lost a toe on his front foot to a tumor, it wasn't cancer, but still had to be removed. He also developed a lump on his right rear haunch. It was the size of a baseball when he had the toe removed and is now the size of a softball. The doctor did a tissue and fluid sample and says it isn't cancer, but we need to keep and eye on it. She also said it is too deep in the tissue to remove, if it does develop into cancer there's nothing she can do. He has also lost some muscle in his face in the last few months, she said this is due to his age, muscle attrophy. I cannot shake the feeling that he is slipping away from us. I have had several dogs in my life, but none like my Murphy. He is truly my baby.

I am scared to death that I am losing him. I really don't know what I will do when I lose him.

thanks for letting me vent.

[Miss Molly]

Jim,

I am so sorry to hear about Murphy. My husband and I have no children so our cats are our children so I know how devastating this news can be. As soon as the word "cancer" is spoken even as a remote possibility the worry starts. Have you given any thought about perhaps getting a second opinion from a vet who has more specialized training. If you have a good veterinary teaching school near you it might be an idea to get your vet to get you a referral to a Veterinary Specialist in Dermatology.

About 10 years ago one of our cats, a nine year old male, was diagnosed with a cancerous tumour in his jaw. We were told it was slow to metasize but was invasive. We were referred to a Vet Specialist Referral Clinic. Here we were told the only thing we could do would be to reduce the tumour with radiation. Surgery was not an option as he would have no quality of life with part of his jaw removed. We were referred to Guelph Vet Teaching Hospital for radiation treatment.
When we arrived we were not able to see the vet we had made the appointment with and got a clinician and a med student. Unacceptable. Demanded to see a specialist in oncology and I was not leaving until I did. I wanted another opinion. I ended up with a wonderful vet who had worked with cats with these types of tumours at U of Calf. at Davis and he was a wealth of information and advice. He told me many cats did well, the longest surviving time with radiation and surgery was 18 months. He told me I would have to decide knowing my cats temperament whether this would be something that would be worthwhile doing. Jack was a great cat and very laid back, not easily stressed so we went ahead with the surgery. When I first saw him after surgery, with his tongue hanging out I said to myself "O my god what have I done to you?". He had to be tube fed for a few weeks until his jaw healed and then he had 7 radiation treatments. The Referral Clinic had refused to do the surgery, said he would never be able to eat and sustain himself. He was able to eat just fine on his own. We never even had to put him in carrier to take him to Guelph which was a two hour drive for us, he sat on his cushion in the back seat of the van and looked out the window. The radiation treatments did not even put him off his food. When we took him back to Guelph for his one year check-up they were amazed and called all these vets into the exam room to see him. He lived for 25 months with a good quality of life after the surgery and radiation. At that time he had the longest survival time of any cat that had this type of procedure done.

While our time we think of in years, months to an animal is a long time. I tell this story only (and I apologize that sometimes I am long winded) because if I had not fought and checked out all options I would not have had my Jack for the extra two years that I did. I do not regret my decision. You are the only one that can decide what is best for Murphy you know him better than anyone. If nothing else getting a second opinion may put your mind at rest that you are doing all you can and you may very well find that there are other options that you could look into. I firmly believe that "where there is life, there is hope". Animals are capable of so much more than we give them credit for. Many beat the odds.

I will keep you and Murphy in my thoughts and pray that there is a better option out there that will give you the peace of mind you need and the quality of life that Murphy deserves. Please keep us posted on his progress.

Best
Molly

[moon_beam]

Hi, Jim, thank you so much for sharing with us about your precious Murphy. What you are experiencing is called Anticipatory Grief, and it is as heart wrenching as what is experienced in the physical loss of our beloved companions. Seeing our precious companion's health decline before our eyes is a reality that we are in what I call a "twilight journey" with them. I, too, am traveling that road with my precious Black Lab of 14.5 years old - - we have shared 10.5 years of his 14.5 years together. The only advice I can offer is to make each day with your precious Murphy as special as possible - - even if it's just doing your regular routine. In a recent visit to the vet I told her that I knew the "decision making time" is closer now, and that I am not looking forward to it. She quietly said, "I know, neither am I." My goal is to make my companion's life as comfortable as possible letting him know every day that I love him with all my heart. It is helpful in this Anticipatory Grief journey to know you are not alone. You are among friends here who do understand what you are going through. Like you and your wife, I do not have human children, so my companions are my furkids. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Jim, and please let us know how you and Murphy are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Bue's Mommy]

Hi Jim, I'm glad you found this place too.
We all meet here to help each other in our time of need.

I'm so sorry that Murphy is not doing as well as you hoped.
In my opinon the love for an animal is no different than a parents love of
a child, you never have to justify your love of you baby here.
That's what makes this place so kewl.

I'm sending lot's of postive energy your way.
I hope Murphy can get better, but if the unthinkable
happens. He had two loving people during his journey.
Lets face it, some humans don't even get that.
Pleace keep us up to date Jim, and hang in there.

Take Care

[jim]

thank you all so much for your replies. Miss Molly - thank you so much for your thoughts on this. I live about 3 hours from Ohio State University and I know they have an excellent vet school. I worked for a time as a vet tech and was planning on going there for my vet training, but as life does, I got into another field.

I am planning on taking him up to OSU later this week and see if I can find out anything for him. I don't want to make his life longer just for me, only if it will ensure he still has a good quality of life. Its so hard to watch him go through this. He doesn't seem to be in any pain and is still active (well, mostly) but I know that can change quickly. I was lucky enough to have had the training I did as a tech and was able to diagnose his tumor on the toe quickly enough so that it wasn't a problem. I only hope I can do the same for this lump.

Its funny, I have had 6 dogs in my life, but none of them has effected me like Murphy. From day one he was attached to my hip. Still is. I know that when the time comes to say goodbye to him, part of me is going to die with him. I have already decided to have him cremated and that when I go, his ashes are going to be buried with me.

thank you all for the thoughts and prayers.

I will keep you informed.

[Hslesgirl]

Dear Jim,

You were kind enough to offer your condolences on the loss of my Dobeman Austin in one of the other forums here and I thank you for it. I am so very, very sorry about Murphy. I know how you are hurting. The first dog I ever bought with my husband was a wonderful little irish terrier whom we aadored for the 11 years we had her. Unfortunately several months before we found out how sick she was we also found out she was going blind. My heart was broken and yes, we were forced to face what you are now facing with Murphy. Love him as hard as you can and hopefully at some point you will be able to realize what a wonderful life you've given him. I can't lie and tell you you'll be over it in no time because it's just not true. Each of us grives in our way and in our own time. And as much as our hearts have the ability to love beyond measure they also have the ability to hurt so much you can't even breathe. On those days when you feel lost and are struggling to breathe, please take a moment and write in and let us help you in whatever capacity we can. I'll keep you and Murphy in my thoughts and prayers. Until we talk again, be strong when you can and cry when you can't. No one is expected to be a super-hero when a loved one is so sick.

Sincerely,
Austin's Mom

[Doug Crowe]

Murphy is an awesome name. I come from a military family and we named our yellow Lab Murphy after Audy Murphy, eventhough she was a girl. I'm feeling you buddy, hang in there ............

Doug

[myhrtisbrkn]

Hi Jim,


I certainly know how you are feeling. My grand old Birga (half German shepherd/half English mastiff), will be turning thirteen in July. And I've lost two dogs in two years. We watch Birga like a hawk. She has a number of those benign fatty tumors that old dogs get. But, we lost Mack to cancer...so every new tumor gets biopsied in a hurry. Our vet is on speed dial!

So far the old girls joints are in good shape. She is as quick and courageous as ever, but I can't help but notice the ever-so-slight opacity developing in her eyes. I'm suffering from some anticipatory grief for my Birga.

I am resolved not to let my fears come between us, or keep me from enjoying the time we have left. I've been able to channel it into doing research into canine nutrition, holistic medicine etc. Our pharmacist who compounds meds for our vet, is extremely well versed in alternative medicine. I pick his brains weekly, he's now doing lots of research on his own concerning treatment protocols, dosages etc.

And, we already have a relationship with the Small Animal teaching hospital at Texas A&M. Our little Shetland Sheepdog Sadie was there for three months in 2006. We had to drive across Texas to get her there. They were wonderful, and she was more than worth it, but how envy you being so close to the great OSU vet school.

All of this is to say Take Heart, enjoy the time you have...and please know that others know how you feel and are pulling for you to have many more years with your baby. Keep us posted.


love and prayers,
Dayna, Birga, Amos and Charles

[jim]

Thank you all so much for your kind words. I have an appointment for Murphy at OSU on Wed, 5-13. I have high hopes that the diagnosis will be the same, no cancer. Murph is still doing well, he is in no pain, and still has a healthy appetite and good outlook. I have been loving him like there is no tomorrow. He is such a good boy.

We have 2 cats as well, Raven and Salem, black shorthair brother and sister that we rescued from Sicsa 3 years ago. Raven, the boy, absolutely LOVES Murphy and cuddles with him every chance he gets. Murphy started out just 'putting up with' Raven, but now loves him just as much. It really is something to see.

Yesterday Murphy was sleeping on the couch with me and I felt Raven jump up near us. As I looked down at him, he was licking Murphy's lump. I cried. He knows its not supposed to be there. Is there any question why we love these little guys (and big guys) so much?

My wife and I go to northern Michigan every summer to visit my dad. Murphy loves it up there, swimming in Lake Huron, and going for walks in the woods with my dads dogs. (he has an Irish Setter named Sonny and a Newfoundland named Shadow). Murphy and these guys are best buddies and do everything together. I can't wait to take him up there again in August. I only pray that it won't be the last time. I am keeping myself optomistic as much as possible.

Thank you all again for the kind words and prayers!!!

[jim]

Doug, it is SO funny that you mentioned being from a military family. I spent 10 years in the Air Force and part of the reason we got Murphy in the first place was to keep my wife company while I was gone. My Murphy was named for a good friend of mine that was killed in a B-52 crash. He reminds of him every day.

Dayna, I'm keeping you Birga in my prayers! I too, wish you lived close to OSU. They really do have a fantastic vet school. (Even though I'm a Michigan fan!)

take care all and thank you!

[myhrtisbrkn]

Thanks Jim,


I was doing some research on OSU's vet school, and I learned that Dr. Jennifer Au, who was the resident in charge of Sadie's care when she was at TAMU, is on the faculty there. I think what she does is mostly orthopedic, and neurosurgery, and I hope Murphy won't be needing that. but if he ever does, you are in luck, because she's a crackerjack.


Thinking of you and Murph today,
Dayna

[jim]

Hi Dayna,

I'm not sure who we're going to see yet. I'll keep an eye out for her! thanks for the thoughts and prayers today!!!!!

I feel really blessed to be so close to this great vet school.