Lost The Love Of My Life, ZOE Options

[Deanna]

You have been blessed in having wonderful friends who you can share your grief and joys with. I too am blessed in having those kind of special loving people in my life. Good friends do help ease our pain and promote healing when we all talk about how we feel and share the sweet and happy memories together. It sounds like your friends loved Zoe very much.

I loved hearing about Travis and how he couldn't resist Zoe, even though he is allergic to dogs. My sister is very allergic to many animals, including dogs, and can never resist holding and talking to my little furbabies. Though I only get to see my sister once or twice a year, not a one of my babies ever forget her. She is always greeted with lots of lovin'.

You said, "I will always love and miss you until the day after forever." That sentence touches me so deeply and brings tears to my eyes this morning. From the day I met Goliath until this very day............I have said a thousand times over "I will love you til the day after forever." He remains in my heart, my forever best friend. These very words, which I keep so close to my heart, are also contained in my Heartfelt Letter To Goliath posted in this section of the forum. When I read my letter written in a poem, it reminds me that one day he and I will be together again some day.

You and Zoe will also be together again some day in a place where love lives never ends.

Have a wonderful day Deanna. I wish you sunshine and laughter in whatever you and your family do together.

Much love with lots of hugs,
Beth

Morning Beth,
It was so good to hear from you this morning. Yes, you're right, in addition to my family trying to help me heal, a couple of my friends do come over during the week and especially on the weekend to check on me to see how I'm doing. They are wonderful. They were all crazy for Zoe, she greeted them (sounds like) how Goliath greeted your sister. I need them, as well as, you.

I know, I felt like I had to tell the Travis story, even though he was allergic (used his inhaler and all) but this shows how sweet and lovable Zoe was. No one, absolutely, no one could resist her. She had her head scratched and belly rubbed constantly by someone, whether it was me, my daughter, neighbor and friends, even strangers when I took her walking stopped me. She would walk up to any and everyone, it was love at first the sniff.

Yes, I love that phrase "I'll love you until the day after forever" I am assuming had read the phrase in one of you forums. Didn't mean to copy, but, you're right ...forever isn't long enough. I am holding on tight the thought of being with her again some day.

Beth, you have a good day as well.
I am going to go out and do some yard work. Maybe Zoe will send me sign, whether it just be the sunshine in my face, or a butterfuly fluttering by or just a new flower that just bloomed.
Again, thanks
Big Hug back to ya ~
Deanna

[goliath]

Yes, I love that phrase "I'll love you until the day after forever" I am assuming had read the phrase in one of you forums. Didn't mean to copy, but, you're right ...forever isn't long enough. I am holding on tight the thought of being with her again some day.

Hi Deanna,

No matter where you read the phrase, I am touched it stayed with you. That's the reason I share it with all. Hopefully some of my words expressed here reaches others. It is obvious "I'll love you til the day after forever" reached you too. That means so much to me.

We all need each other too Deanna. Even though we meet because we have suffered a loss of our beloved furbaby, I am so glad that I have made some wonderful and lasting friendships as a result. Many new and exciting gifts of wonder in life are in store yet for all of us. Each new day brings the opportunity to touch another in special way when we use the lessons these little loves taught us.

Much love and hugs Deanna,
Beth

[Deanna]

If and when you decide to bring a new addition into your family you will know. Somehow I can't imagine your heart not ever loving another furbaby again. People like us are destined to love these special loving creatures who teach us so much.
Your heart Deanna is more than full because Zoe is there. When two loving hearts become one they can never separate, not even in death. Sharing that love assures Zoe's memories will always bring sunshine into your life. Without Zoe's death you would never have had the pleasure of knowing her nor would you have learned the lessons of love and learning she brought you as your gift.

A dear friend of mine recently gave me the book, ANGEL DOGS by Allen & Linda Anderson. Each night I read a chapter or two while Browser lays on my chest just before going to sleep. The stories are so comforting and filled with heart healing messages. Each story is only 2 or 3 pages long but they are packed with emotional healing verses of gratitude and experiences of those who truly love their dogs. Basically the book focuses on the important lessons we can learn from our doggieloves and how they lead us spiritually. This book will take you on an amazing journey Deanna and I hope you will read it.

May God bless you always and shower you with Zoe's love.


Many warm hugs filled with love,
Beth

**** Just wanted to let you know, I went online to amazon.com and ordered the book Angel Dogs. I am anxiously waiting to get it in the mail. It got great reviews. Thanks for the suggestion.
Have a peaceful night with Browser ... talk to you later Beth
Deanna

[Deanna]

**** Just wanted to let you know, I went online to amazon.com and ordered the book Angel Dogs. I am anxiously waiting to get it in the mail. It got great reviews. Thanks for the suggestion.
Have a peaceful night with Browser ... talk to you later Beth
Deanna

I love and miss you soooo much Zoe.
Mama

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[goliath]

I have finished "Angel Dogs" now. My words cannot begin to express just how much my spirit has grown because I took the time to read it. I wish the same for you!

I am now reading "GOD'S MESSENGERS" What Animals Teach Us about the Divine. The more I read and allow myself to feel, I am filled with peace. This too I wish for you Deanna.

Much love and many hugs from my heart to yours,
Beth

[myhrtisbrkn]

Deanna,

I've been thinking about you and Zoe. I have a sick kitty so I'm having trouble finding much time to post.


Love to you and your sweet family,
Dayna

[Deanna]

Deanna,

I've been thinking about you and Zoe. I have a sick kitty so I'm having trouble finding much time to post.


Love to you and your sweet family,
Dayna

Thank you Dayna,
That means the world to me.
I know I'm not alone with my sadness of losing Zoe.
I pray your kitty gets to feeling better.
Much love back to you and yours,
Deanna

[Deanna]

It was another long sad weekend without you Zoe.
I miss you terribly.
I am holding your spirit in my heart to go on.
Love you more than anything.
Mama

[Candy's Dad]

It was another long sad weekend without you Zoe.
I miss you terribly.
I am holding your spirit in my heart to go on.
Love you more than anything.
Mama

Hey Deanna,

Mark (Fleetwood's daddy), Chuck and I were just thinking about you and some of the folks here who's baby's died the same weekend as Candy. Like your friends, all of mine were in love with her, just as I'm sure many of your friends fell in love with Zoe. I just adore that picture of Zoe. So adorable.

My heart goes out to you.

Take care and hold on to that love.

God bless.

[Deanna]

Hey Candy'sDad,
Thanks so much for your reply. You guys help me so much, there are many of you, and you know who you are. I know there are several of us who are going dealing with our grief of losing our babies on or about the same week. I realize my baby is gone, I want so bad to think about the great times we had together and smile about the two wonderful years we had together, but I am having a REALLY HARD TIME. I miss her so much. I may have mentioned this is another forum, but I am "normally" a very high spirited, smile, laugh all day kind of person. However, with losing Zoe ...I have never had anything like this grab a hold of me and bring me down like this. I am doing good to get up and go to work, come home and make sure my kids are taken care of, try to find something to occupy my mind during the evening, (take a sleep aid) and go to bed. (This may sound horrible to some, but I lost my father two years ago, and I didn't grieve like this, nothing near .... like I currently am for Zoe. That little girl meant so much to me. I have such an empty hole in my heart.

How are you doing? How'd your 4th of July weekend go? Still thinking about adopting another precious baby? I throw the idea back n' forth ...I don't know if it's the right thing to do right now?

I can't thank you enough ~ I really can't.
Take care and keep in touch.
Deanna

[Deanna]

My lil' punkin' pie, Zoe,
It was a month yesterday, that I lost you to a tragic accident. You are missed more than you'll ever know. I shed a tear everyday that's you're gone. I think about you ...all day ....everyday. It's so hard to accept that you're gone. I want so bad to hold you and love on you ~ and I will....someday. I know every day that passes is another day closer to seeing and being with you.

A GIFT FOR SUCH A LITTLE WHILE
YOU'RE LOSS JUST SEEMED SO WRONG,
YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE LEFT ME,
IT'S WITH ME...IS WHERE YOU BELONG.
MAMA

~Zoe - Forever In My Heart ~

[Deanna]

I miss you Zoe.
Mama

[Deanna]

Hello Everyone,
Sorry I haven't been expressing myself my thoughts and feelings here on the LS site very often, although, I do visit quite regularly, and view how you are all doing, but at times, I'm really not quite sure what to say. I'm afriad, everytime I would reply or comment, I would be saying the same things over and over and I don't want to sound like a broken record. It's been six weeks, since Zoe's tragic accident and I'm still grieving terribly. Tears still come easily when I talk about her or when I just sit quietly and think about her. I miss her so much. I want nothing more than to have her in my arms again and to cover her with kisses, however, I know that's not possible. I still take it one day at a time, some are better than others, but for the most part, I'm just trying to cope and to try my best to make it through another day. To help myself, I write in a journal I bought ...and it's all written to Zoe. I've cried my way through it, with a snicker in between, every now and again. I am also making a scrapbook on her as well. It keeps me quite occupied in the evenings, after everything has settled. I keep telling myself, while I am working on it .... that I would much rather be out taking a walk with Zoe, rather than glueing pictures of her in a book. I've cried through it as well. I am taking all of this as a part of healing process?!

I would like to take a minute and say THANKS to each and everyone of you who may have commented on my thread. It means to much to me. I can honestly say, this is the hardest thing I have ever dealt with in my 42 years of my life. Zoe was my first puppy love. It was all about her and I together, no matter what was going on in the world, and I miss it.
Again, thanks to all,
Hope everyone is hanging in there
Lots of love and hugs
Sincerely,
Deanna

[LoveThem]

You will never forget Zoe and you will never replace her..because that is always impossible to do. But you might think about getting a puppy ...maybe you will see one that reminds you of Zoe.

I adopted a boy kitty that reminded me of my Little Guy and when I see him lie down by a window....I sometimes feel as though for a second...it is my Little Guy lying there...that thought makes me smile. I will never have him back but I like the distraction of one who reminds me of him for that's as close as I can get physically to "having" him back.

I needed this distraction because I could not tolerate anymore an empty home. I knew there were furbabies out there needing someone to hold them and I wanted to hold one again, to talk to them and have them talk back.

I realized after crying and grieving over and over that it didn't make me feel better....I needed to do something else. All my grieving does not bring my Little Guy back. All it does is use up time but when I thought about the fact that even time was not making me feel better...I decided on the distraction of getting another. And they are distracting...they do add to your life...they can't help it cause they live in the moment and kind of force us to live in the moment too.

I guess what is best of all....they make you feel "alive" again......instead of "dead" inside.

That doesn't mean we will ever forget the ones we lost...not ever. and we still will miss them everyday because they are and will always be a part of us. I still write notes here to my Little Guy. I have his pictures and his siblings pictures in every room I walk into so I look into their eyes. I can touch their face in the picture. I can say Hello to the picture.

But that little bundle of fur racing from one end of my home to the other...the new boy I named Lucky....well..him I can pick up and hug that furry body and it feels good to do that. He needed a home and I needed him. The loneliness still comes but it is not everyday anymore and not devastating unless I let it.

Yes, taking it all one day at a time is the best way to get through each day while we wait for time to pass and the pain to become bearable. After a while I needed help to do that.

Take care..Hugs to you and Zoe. She is truly precious and anything you feel like doing that makes you feel better..is the
right thing for you to do.

[Deanna]

Lovethem,
Thank you for your reply. It is good to hear from you.

As much as I am grieving for the loss of Zoe. Your suggestion of getting a new puppy has just recently crossed my mind. The emptiness of my home without a fur baby is so sad and quiet. I feel it intensifies my grieving. I miss the love and joy that Zoe and I had together. I was unlike anything I had ever experienced in my life. Zoe was my first puppy love at 40 years old! It was heaven on earth when I was with Zoe. I miss her soooo much.

When I do think about getting a new puppy. I fear I will compare it to Zoe and I will be dissappointed. I do have to come to the realization that no matter what puppy I get. There will never being another Zoe. They all have their own love and personality. I am searching for the one to make me feel alive again.

Again, thanks Lovethem
You have been a tremendous help to me!
Take care and keep in touch,
Your friend,
Deanna



******I WILL FOREVER LOVE AND MISS YOU ZOE*********

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[Steph]

Gosh that was a cute dog! I just read about how she died and burst out crying.
I had to put my beautiful golden to sleep two days ago, and am just a wreck. I keep seeing his last moments over and over and over again.
Four years ago I lost my border collie to sudden death due to illness, so I've been through long drawn out suffering illness, and a sudden death in which a pet was ripped away without a chance to say goodbye. It is so devastating.

This site was a big help four years ago, and I think it will help me again now.

[Deanna]

Steph
Thank you ~ Thank you ~ I thought she was cute too!
She brought such an enourmous amount of happiness in my life ~ the pain of losing her has been beyond devastating. It's been really hard to get back to the real world and act like a half-way happy person.

I'm sorry my story of losing Zoe upset you. It was such a horrible tragedy how I lost her, and of all days ~ my birthday?! I know, losing her on any other day would have been just as horrible, but I will... forever ... never want to celebrate my birthday again.

This site has helped me tremendously ~ I really don't know what I would have done without it.
Again, thank you for your kind words.
Hang in there ~
Deanna

[Steph]

Hi Deanna, don't apologize for upsetting me with the story of how you lost Zoe - that's what this site is for - to share our stories.
Thanks for taking the time to see what my Falkor looked like. He truly had a heart of gold. He was so gentle.

[Deanna]

Hi Zoe ~ It's mama
I still think about you every waking moment. I miss you terribly. I try so hard to have happy thoughts of you and of the times we were together, however, the sadness of you being physically gone overwhelms me throughout every day. I am consumed with thinking about your accident and how you were taken away from me way too soon. You were such a wonderful, healthy, and VERY HAPPY puppy in my eyes .... with so much more to give and receive. There was so much we didn't get to do together for the short two years we were together ... and the things we had done and enjoyed, I wanted to do it over and over and over again. Like taking our long walks though the neighborhood, being silly, playing around the house and in the yard, letting me rub your belly and scratch behind your ears, giving you warm baths and blow drying and brushing your hair, giving you treats and chew bones that you enjoyed and deserved, sharing the recliner while watching TV and sharing a pillow and snuggling closely thoughout the night together. Not to mention covering you with hugs and kisses when we did all this ~ ~ just so we could get up and do it all over again.
I miss you .... Dear God ... I miss you.
I am lost without you.
Although your gone, you're cetainly not forgotten and never will be.
You are forever in my heart and everyday that passes means I am one day closer to being reunited with you again.
I love and miss you Zoe.
You'll always be mama's lil' punkin pie.
Mama

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[Deanna]

I miss you today ~ the sunshine is so bright. I know in my heart, if you were here with my now, you'd be taking a nap in the sun.
Love you Zoe.
Mama