I Am Very Lonely Already Options

[goliath]

Hi Jorge,

Our converstaion on the phone didn't end when we said "goodbye" this morning. My thoughts have stayed with you all day long. I have lit my hope, faith, and friendship candle in honor of Buster and our newfound friendship.

May the sunshine Buster brought you shine upon you and in you always.

Many comforting hugs filled with love from my heart to yours,
Beth

[Candy's Dad]

To all of you that cared about my Son Buster he just past away at 12:50am about two hours ago and went to heaven, sorry can't talk right now and hope you will understand, one thing am going to say he died in my arms kissing and hugging him, am a mess right now and can't type any more, am so sorry, sad and angry, so lonely here I wish I had one of you here to give me some company, I know am not will be able to go to work today I will try to sleep on his bed around all his toys, if someone care to call me on my cell phone please do I need to talk to somebody, bye, love Jorge [314] 608-6494

OMG Jorge, I'm soooo sorry. When I just read this, I had to get up and go into a private office and cry. I just gave you a call and left you a message. Please let me know if you still need to talk, I'd be glad to. Hang in there. May Buster rest in sweet peace.

Tomorrow is our turn.

God help us all.

[myhrtisbrkn]

NNNNooooo!!!!![ OMG I'm so sorry, I thought we were out of the woods.

[LoveThem]

Jorge: Oh, I am so very sorry. I can't believe it. I read your note earlier and just went into shock today. You did everything you could for Buster and he was comforted being in your arms.....he was meant to be with you when his time came. Things were beginning to feel hopeful for more time but it was his time to become an angel and there is a power greater than us that makes us feel so helpless and we can't always understand why things happen as they do and, I guess we are not really meant to understand. It is possible the fact the vet found he had a heart murmur might have meant his heart just wasn't strong enough to go on. His will was strong to be with you but his body was frail.

What a sweetheart Buster is (I always speak in the present tense because they never truly leave us as long as they are in our hearts and memories). He is now looking over you as your very own protective angel. His spirit will never leave you.

This is the worst time of all....but it is important to allow yourself to grieve as much as you need to. Cry until you are exhausted, come here and post to get words out until you are exhausted typing. Come here and write Buster a letter telling him all your thoughts and feelings and know it is so possible his spirit is looking over your shoulder while you type.

Earlier this year, one of the local TV weathermen lost his baby of many years, a golden or white lab retriever, who came to work with him every day and it was just the two of them...best friends forever. He has a website talking all about his baby. He had a memorial service that was show on TV and hundreds of viewers came with their animals to pay their respects to his dog, whose name was Jordan. I know he felt about Jordan the way you felt about Buster and it was obvious on TV he felt very lost without his buddy.
One day, we turned on the TV and he was showing a puppy who looked very much like his Jordan and he named him L.J and admitted the initials were for Little Jordan. You could see the difference in him, having this baby to take care of. He never forgot his best friend and would cry when talking about him but it was comforting for his viewers to know he wasn't going to be home alone with his sadness and here was a little one needing a home just as much as the man needed to have a home that was not empty.
I will try and find the site if you ever want to visit it.

The first dog I had to make a decision about..I had just gotten a 2 month old puppy and had the 2 of them. I remember when I came home that night and when I came home from work everyday....for me....my puppy (who was with me for the next 10 years) was always there to remind me he needed me and my home and I was grateful he was there for me. I was never alone. I still cried and cried but I was not alone with my tears and eventually time helped me to heal enough so I didn't cry all the time anymore.

Bless you, Jorge, you are a wonderful Dad and best friend to Buster just as he loved you more than anything in the world but what takes these precious ones away from us, I'll just never understand. It seems so cruel to give us so wonderful a present of having our best friend..then they are taken away. The only justification (even though I don't think there really is any), I could ever think of is if my first one hadn't left me...I would never have know the next one, and so on and so on, and I would never give up having any of these special sweethearts to avoid the sadness of losing them but think of it as opening my heart and home to another who has no home and no one to love them when I have both of those items waiting for a special one.

Hugs, Jorge. ....again it is so hard to put into words how sad and sorry you had such news to tell us.....Keep posting when you feel like it. The pain will never go away completely but in time it will not be as devastatingly constant as it is right now. It helps to remember the good memories you had together when Buster was healthy. Try and remember those times when the sadness hits you. But remember...it will take time and I found when I had my home so empty and quiet....it was taking too long for the pain to lessen cause I wanted one who reminded me of my sweet ones...to hug again. We each grieve in our own way yet some ways are similar to each other.

Do what makes you feel better to do...if it is cry then cry.....if it helps push the pain away even for a moment..it is the right thing to do.

I think what I would be doing would be to telephone the vet and talk to him and just ask what he thinks might have caused things to change. He won't know exactly but he may tell you more about what he thinks. I know when I spoke to the vet who last took care of my Little Guy, when I called her a few days later and said now that I was not hysterical with tears, would she please tell me what she did think that day I lost my special one. And while the vet is not allowed to say certain things while there is still hope, I understand that afterwards when the baby is truly gone...they are allowed to say..like mine said to me that if my Little Guy had belonged to her...she would have made the same decision at the same time that I did and she was very glad when I decided to let him go peacefully because she knew his future would be painful but she wasn't allowed to say that..at that time.

Take care and write when you feel like it...it just may help you...especially a letter to Buster....he would like that because you write such beautiful notes to him as we have seen here in your topic about Buster. I wish you peace and healing.

[havana]

Yes, my Baby Boy Son Buster just left me to heaven this early mornig, am a big mess right now and don't know what to say or do nor think but once thing am happy about and that is that he is not suffering any more trying to breath he is just free of his pain and breathing the Fresh Air of Heaven. Everything happened so fast that am still in state of shock. Last night his breathing was very bad and after he ate his dinner and drank his water he just don't wanted to stand nor walk anymore, I was so happy when he got out of the hospital after the surgery I was just waiting for the swelling to go down and see him better but for some reason he got into a very bad shape for the worst and had to say good bye even though I did not wanted too. He ate some biscuits about three of them drank more ice cold water and withing a couple of minutes after that he was all gone but before that I went on my knees and hold his sweet face on my hands and told him how much I loved him and he was looking back to me with compation and loving face then tell the Vet that we where ready then he start it to give the first chat to make him sleepy kissed and hugged him and told him I loved him again and again and again, when he got the second chat in he looked at me with love and left me peacefully and I losted big time right there. When he was gone I fixed his mouth 'cause his tongue was a bit out side closed his eyes and cleaned them one more time then left and drove away and and as I did I looked back to the building where he just died and thought am leavin'g my whole life behind now. My Son Buster was Devoted, Smart, Proud, Brave and always Hungry, I know am going to miss him like crazy and am asking God to give the strength to keep going ahead but for the moment am in a terrible pain and don't know when it will go away and if will go ever, sorry for this writing and thoughts but it may not make any sence what am putting here, my ideas are all confused and am very sad and hope you will understand my pain, please pray for me, Rest in Peace My Son and Sweet Buster, will love you for ever, bye for now and thank you all for your loving support always, Jorge .

[myhrtisbrkn]

Jorge,

I can't tell you how devastated I am for you. I got up this morning with a smile on my face thinking the two of you were on the mend, and were going to have a few more years together. No matter how long we have with them it's never enough. The important thing is to fill the time we have with all the love we can, and you did. Buster could not have had a better father than you. You could not have had a better son.

And I'm so glad you were there with him.I know how much you needed to say to him "I'll always love you, son.", and he needed to be able to say to you " I'll always love you, Dad. I'm going to a better place, and I'll be waiting there for you." Those goodbyes are so priceless...and as hard as it was, the memory of it will always give you peace. They know, Jorge...they know that heaven waits for them, that they will be safe, that they will be well. Never doubt that.

I know you are heart-sore and exhausted, so I'll cut this post short. We are here for you.

I wish I could put my arms around you. But for now my love and prayers,
Dayna

[sissycat]

Hello I just wanted to say I went back and read all the posts so I would understand your story. I have only been coming to this site a little over a week.
You were such a good caregiver to Buster. Don't ever doubt that. I sure you have many great memories of him. You come here and post whetever you'd like whether it makes sense or not it will make YOU feel better and we are always here to read your stories or look at pictures. It may not feel like the right thing for now, but you know your precious Buster is not in any pain or suffering anymore. Just remember you have many friends here and we can help you through it. I don't know what i would do without everyones help here.

Many Love and Hugs to you !!!!!!!!!

[havana]

Just here remenbering my Son Buster it feels so empty here and so silent, oh God why this had to happend to us? is he ok? Am sorry that I am so sad since you left me and today I remember when you saw me sad in past times and you came around me and kissed my face like saying everyting is going to be fine I wish you could do that to me again, that, God only knows, I opened the storm door today very early this morning cause I couldn't sleep at all and saw some people walking their pet kids going to our near park and and thought, if those people only know how much am hurting right now they would not be walking passing my door I know that dosen't sound right but it was the way I felt. Am so desperate today that... sorry had to stop for two minutes this hurts so much like I never tought, so desperate that am constanly thinking that my Buster depended so much on me that I am wondering how he is doing without me my love, support and care I only hope that he will forgive me someday for pushing him away from me when he need it me the most. Buster am lonely without you I want you back Son 'cause you and I belong together, I wish I could see you hug you kiss you a million times more and more, please forgive again for telling you goodbye but I need it to do it 'cause you were so sick and need it you to go up to heaven to get well and run free and happy. My baby, only God knows why he desired to take you with him, maybe he was hurting like I was that early morning when you left. I want you to know how proud I am of you and how happy you made me since the first time I ever saw you, remember when no one wanted you when we first met? I do, am sure I made right decision when I brought you home that day and thank you for helping me out to learn the meaning of the words True Friend. I will stop now for a while and take a walk in the park the one you and I walked so many times for so many years and will take your collar and leach with me and will put it around my neck so you can go and be there with me, I talk you later Buster, bye, love you, Papa Jorge.
"I DROPPED A TEAR IN THE OCEAN THE DAY YOU FIND IT IS THE DAY I WILL STOP MISSING YOU"

[Candy's Dad]

Just here remenbering my Son Buster it feels so empty here and so silent, oh God why this had to happend to us? is he ok? Am sorry that I am so sad since you left me and today I remember when you saw me sad in past times and you came around me and kissed my face like saying everyting is going to be fine I wish you could do that to me again, that, God only knows, I opened the storm door today very early this morning cause I couldn't sleep at all and saw some people walking their pet kids going to our near park and and thought, if those people only know how much am hurting right now they would not be walking passing my door I know that dosen't sound right but it was the way I felt. Am so desperate today that... sorry had to stop for two minutes this hurts so much like I never tought, so desperate that am constanly thinking that my Buster depended so much on me that and wondering how he is doing without me my love, support and care I only hope that he will forgive me someday for puching him away from me when he need it me the most. Buster am lonely without you I want you back Son 'cause you and I belong together, I wish I could see you hug kiss you a million times more and more, please forgive again for telling goodbye but I need to do it cause you were so sick and need it you to go up to heaven to get well and run free and happy. My baby,
only God knows why he desired to take you with him, maybe he was hurting like I was that early morning when you left. I want you to know how proud I am of you and how happy you made me since the first time I ever saw you, remember when no one wanted you when first met? I do, am sure I made right desition when I brought you home that day and thank you for helping me out to learn the meaning of the word true friend. I will stp now for a while and take a walk in the park and will take your lish with me and will put it around my neck so you can be there with me, I talk you later Buster, bye, love you, Papa

I think I'll try the same thing today. Candy use to love to walk to the bluffs near the beach. I'll keep her collar and leach around me and remember her favorite sniffing spots. Thank you for the wonderful idea.

God bless

[oliver's mama]

Jorge, I am sooo sorry. What a shock to us all, I remember on the 17th while in the mall thinking that today is Buster's day and that when I got home I wanted to check up on you two. Oliver and I fought the good fight for three days and it seemed like an eternity, I am sure that you must be exhausted right now for things to have ended after such a long battle.

I opened the storm door today very early this morning cause I couldn't sleep at all and saw some people walking their pet kids going to our near park and and thought, if those people only know how much am hurting right now they would not be walking passing my door I know that dosen't sound right but it was the way I felt.

I know how those thoughts are, I thought the world should just stop and if I materialized my feelings I would be a black hole, sucking everything up as there was no joy in life, truly. But I bet those people would come to your door, they probably love their dogs very much too, since they were on the way to the park. And if they do love them, then someday they too will feel the way we do. Buster is in a much better place now, and the separation is only temporary. It took me a long time to even wrap my brain around an Oliver-less world, allow yourself time to adjust and come here all the time, as we all did and do. I am very sorry for your loss.

Sarah, Oliver's mama

[CottonsMom]

Jorge--

A big cyber hug to you, even though nothing helps right at this moment.

You will be in my thoughts.

Carol

[havana]

I like to thank all of you for your concern about me today and always, you are all Angels, trying to help out in this my darkest days, espacial thanks to CottonsMom, Candy's Dad, sissycat, myhrtisbrkn, LoveThem, goliath and so many others for their love and compation. I went to the park near to our house were my Son Buster and I just walk every weekend and to the creek where he just to get all wet, took with me his collar and leach put it around my neck and walked up and down to all the places we went too before and even though it was a beautiful day without a single cloud and a very blue sky and the sun was hitting my face it felt very dark very lonely and most of all missing you like never missed anything before in my life, I will talk to you later my Son, am missing you terribly today, you were like the air I breath and don't have any more, am braking down again, have to go, imposible to type any longer, I LOVE YOU AND ALWAYS WILL FOR EVER AND EVER, MISSING YOU AND PLEASE DON'T FORGET ABOUT ME, PAPA, JORGE Buster, Born on May 20th, 1997 and Died on June 20th, 2008 [RIP My Sweet Son Buster]

[sissycat]

I and sending you hugs this morning. I know all these feelings you are feeling oh too well. I just had a walk outside to talk to Sissy. I was smiling remembering how she would hide in the tall grass and run to meet me. You too will smile again soon!!!! It just seems like we cannot go on another moment, but we are strong and manage to somehow. I am glad we can help. I was so glad for someone to listen to me. Even tho my family was here for me the people here seem to understand more. Please continue to post it will get easier every time.

Many hugs to YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[LoveThem]

Jorge:

The pain of grieving is so intense right now..it is the worst of times...and then it takes more time for the pain to lessen somewhat.

So write, cry, whatever makes you feel even a little better...is normal and okay to do.

Just remember and I hope this helps your pain.....you did everything possible to help Buster....he could not have had a more caring best friend than you. (Here comes my tears now). For some reason, as with all of us, there comes a time when it is our sweet ones time to leave us...we don't know why or when and are never prepared for when it comes.

I am so glad you had Buster for all the time you did....that was a blessing for both of you. His spirit never failed or left you but his body failed him because it was time to go.

His spirit is in your heart and he is a part of you and you of him always and forever. Remember now he is not suffering at all..he is at peace and is definitely now an angel just sitting on your shoulder and loving you now in the only way he can.

Because we love these special friends so much...we cannot bear to see them suffer and so when the time comes we let them go...their physical body that is, and take on the pain of losing the physical hugging and touching that we cherish so much......so that we can return their unconditional love by giving them peace...that is the greatest thing we can do for them.....so although we will miss them forever, the fact we are sure they are not in pain of any kind anymore....we try to use that thought to help ease the pain of not having them with us physically.

He is still with you but now he is in a different form and in a form that will never leave you...his spirit is in your heart and a part of you forever. That's why some of us still talk to our babies....we feel their spirits are all around us all the time and can hear us.

I wish you hugs and peace and healing, Jorge, and know you are not alone...you have many friends here who truly understand your pain and feelings because it is also their pain and feelings because we all have had our losses and so know what each other feels.

Buster is still with you always.....he is at peace now and he will be happy when you find peace also..and healing cause he would never want you to be unhappy especially when thinking of him. He would like you to remember the good, healthy, happy times and treasure them always...just as he treasured you and your love and you felt the same way about him.

Hugs, Jorge

[myhrtisbrkn]

Jorge,

I'm thinking of you today, my dear friend. I know how badly you are hurting. It helps me to keep Mack and Sadie's little things around me. I keep a little vial of

Mack's ashes on my key chain, he loved to ride in my truck...now my truck never goes anywhere without him.I know why you took Buster's leash with you...it

gives you comfort now, in time it will give you joy in his memory. This a terrible time for you to be alone...but you and Buster are on my mind and in my heart.


Hug,
Dayna

[AngelCareOne]

{{{{{{{Havana}}}}}}} What a darling sweet fur kid. I'm so sorry for your loss and have something that I'd like to say to Buster.

Most precious Buster, you are so sorely missed and Havana's heart is breaking. He is grief stricken and your leaving has left such a void in his life. Would you please blow Havana a kiss and whisper to him how beautiful it is at The Rainbow Bridge where you are now, that you're young again, healthy, happy and playing with lots of friends as you wait until that One Sweet Day when you'll be once again reunited with your Dad. He really needs to know you're okay so will you please send him your whispered message? Buster, your Dad Havana will hear your whispers because a breath away is not far at all to where you are. HUGS!!!

Tons of Healing Hugs and Much Love!

Always,
Angel xoxoxox

[AngelCareOne]

Dearest Havana, I can truly feel your devastating pain and loneliness and want so much to be there for you. Here is a song that my Alex loved bunches and brought him loving contentment. It's really a "Blessing" rather than a lullaby. Just read the lyrics that I'll type out for you. I wish very much to send this Blessing to you and your most cherished son fur kid Buster. I am positive that he'll hear it at The Rainbow Bridge. May you and Buster be so Blessed and I hope and pray this Blessing will bring you some small comfort, Dear One.

Please click on the glittering Angel Lady to hear her sing the Blessing song to you and Buster. Hugs!!!

"Sleep Song"
by: Secret Garden

Lay down your head and I'll sing you a lullaby. Back to the years of Loo-Li,Lai-Ley. And I'll sing you to sleep and I'll sing you tomorrow. Bless you with love for the road that you go.

May you sail fair to the far fields of fortune with diamonds and pearls at your head and your feet and may you need never to banish misfortune. May you find kindness in all that you meet.

May there always be Angels to watch over you. To guard you each step of the way. To guard you and keep you safe from all harm. Loo-Li,Loo-Li,Lai-Ley.

May you bring love and may you bring happiness. Be loved in return to the end your days. Now fall off to sleep. I'm not meaning to keep you. I'll just sit for a while and sing Loo-Li,Lai-Ley.

May there always be Angels to watch over you. To guard you each step of the way. To guard you and keep you safe from all harm. Loo-Li,Loo-Li,Lai-Ley. Loo-Li,Loo-Li,Lai-Ley.

Havana, I also send Many Angels, Butterfly Kisses, Tight Hugs and Much Love to you and your son Buster.

Always,
Angel xoxoxox

[goliath]

Dearest Jorge,

I am about to sign off for the night and wanted to wish you sweet dreams of Buster. You have been and will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

Peace is what I wish for you. Always remember you can call anythime. Buster will never forget you and neither will I.

Much love with many warm hugs,
Beth

[havana]

Hi, it is 1:20am and not able to sleep tonight eather, I miss you so much that I don't know what to do nor what to say to you, you have no idea how lonely I am and how bad it feels here without you after so many years with you. I know you are free now and can go anywhere you want too running free but please don't forget about me, I wish I could see you for just for one minute and tell you how happy you made me this eleven years, I want you back now for just one minute I want to hug you and kiss you for a little bit, please come back to me sometime if you can I promess I will feel you if you do, sleep good my Baby Son, we will see each other soon, bye for now , Papa jorge

[AngelCareOne]

{{{{{{{Jorge}}}}}}} I just now saw your post and am right here reaching out to you. Am going to send you a PM right NOW and hope you get it before you sign off, Dear One.

Tons of Hugs and Love!

Always,
Angel xoxoxox