1st Birthday Without Him Options

[Solasmom]

Hello fur family,

Solas' birthday is on Sunday. I'm already feeling that lost pit feeling in my chest. I miss him so much. I even called about a cat that was up for adoption, but I can't let a new cat in the house because of the FIP (the terrible disease that took my baby in 3 short weeks ). My husband doesn't want another cat anyway.

I'm in foul humor, I'm afraid. I have been dealing with some medical issues and I finally got to see a specialist today. The doctor had ZERO bedside manner and when I said that I didn't have any of the conditions that are supposed to lead to this illness, he says "Sure you do; you're overweight!" Oh bite me!

But anyway, I wanted to tell you about Solas. He was such a wonderful and princely black cat. I adopted him when he was 8 weeks old. We figured his birthday was 8/8/88 and when it rolled around the next year, I gave him a surprise party. It was great, all my friends came and brought catnip in every possible form. I made him a cat food cake with Cheez-wiz icing and a little hat. He gave me one of those disgusted looks, like, "I don't do hats!". I miss him and his funny ways. You know, we all knew our animal so intimately that we could understand what a meow or whine meant. It's hard when you lose that special connection. I know someone will tell me that I am still connected, but tonight I want purring in my ear like before.

I know I sound like a spoiled child, but I had a crappy ol' day where someone had the bad manners to point out my own fat ass to me.

Keep me in mind on Sunday, right?
Thanks,
Ariel

[karen424]

I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers Sunday Ariel! And I'll send a "Happy Birthday" to Solas!

Having to deal with health issues when you are down to begin with is very difficult. But having
a doctor with zero bedside manner is just the pits. People like that shouldn't even be allowed
to practice medicine! I'll share a funny little story that wasn't so funny at the time concerning
my weight.....I was very ill after returning from a trip to CanCun and the doctors didn't know what
was wrong with me. So they sent me to a surgeon thinking I had some female troubles going on
and he was pressing around on my abdomen and he said "Mrs. Hart (I was Hart then, previous marriage,
past life) have you always had this distention?"....talk about wanting to say "bite me"!! I just replied,
"yes, doctor, that distention is only fat and I've had it for a long time so keep pressing".....geeze,
some doctors just don't care how they make you feel! Hang in there Ariel! I hope you feel better soon!

Love,
Karen

[BabyHannahsMom]

Hi Ariel,

There are so many rude, insensitive people in this world. It really does get me down sometimes too.

I will be thinking of you and Solas, especially on Sunday. It's been 3 1/2 months for Hannah and about 3 weeks for Babe. I dread so very much the passing of the seasons and holidays coming up in this year. I cannot imagine how terribly sad that one-year mark will be, but I know it's going to be a really sad day for you. Maybe it would help to have a memorial service for Solas. I know another birthday would have been the most wonderful thing in the world! You're not acting like a spoiled child! Unfortunately, you know all too well that Solas won't be back.

That reminds me of a little poem that I have been reading and re-reading lately and trying to get myself to "grasp" the idea. I know it's true, but it is so very hard because we do miss them so. When I think in my mind, "She's gone, she's gone," it does make me feel like crying and "losing my mind." Sometimes it's still so hard to believe that she is gone, my precious little girl is gone.

She Is Gone
You can shed tears that she is gone
or you can smile because she lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her and only that she's gone
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and lose your mind,
be empty and turn your back
or you can do what she'd want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.
-- Author Unknown

I hope and pray Ariel that, though I know you will cry on Sunday, you will be able to smile too when you think of those past birthday parties, and the things like "I don't do hats, Mom."

Marcia
Baby Hannah's Mom and Babe's Mom

[Arnold]

Hi Ariel. I will certainly be thinking of you. Sunday will be one week from the day Arnold died. I hope you will be able to have a smile or two. Even this soon, I can think of something cute Arnold did and smile, though briefly. He used to like to bark at anyone who happened to be walking on "his" sidewalk in front of the house and if he happened to have a tennis ball in his mouth at the time - well, so be it. He'd "woof-woof" right around it. People passing by would get such a kick out of him. I see them now watching the window where he always sat - wondering, I'm sure, where he is.

I don't think you're acting like a spoiled child but, you know what? So what if you are? I think when we are bearing so much pain we are bound to snap here and there. I know I did last night and had to make an "I'm sorry" phone call right after.

I will smile for you and Solas on Sunday and send up a little prayer for you both.

[gingerspal]

Hi Solas mom!
I am sorry about that doctor--what a creep! I had a doctor like that once. I actually wrote a letter of complaint to the owner of his clinic with a carbon copy to the medical board's office. He was flat out RUDE to me and though I doubt my letters actually accomplished very much I like to think it at least might have inconvenienced him a little. jerk.

I was going through some photos yesterday of Ginger (and having a boo-hoo--photos always do that)
but I also caught myself smiling like a proud mom does. Ginger really thought he was a dog. I am quite convinced of that. He even had a dog house. lol. I have a photo of him asleep in the house with his head sticking out. Someday I plan on printing out all my photos and putting them in a notebook along with my notes to him.

About Sunday--I definately will be thinking about you too. I hope that you will post on Sunday if you can--maybe share something wonderful on that day about your Solas. (I love that name!)

Patti


If I should ever leave you,
Whom I love
To go along the silent way,
Grieve not,
Nor speak of me with tears.
But laugh and talk of me
as if I were beside you there
For I will come-I'll come!
Would I not find a way,
Were tears and grief not be barriers?
And when you hear a song or see a bird I loved,
Please do not let your thoughts of me be sad.
For I am loving you just as I always have . . .
You who were so good to me!
There are so many thing I wanted still to do-
So many things to say to you . . .
Remember, please, that I did not fear death.
It was just leaving you that was so hard to face.
You cannot see beyond this life
But this you know . . . I loved you so
Never doubt that I am with you still!
For love does not die with the body
And nothing in heaven or on earth
Can keep apart those who love.
~ Author Unknown ~

[Solasmom]

Thank you everybody,

The poems are just beautiful. Brought tears to my eyes.

Something funny happened today. We are one crazy family, I'll tell you. Heard my 6 year old son yelling at his little sister, "Rosie! Leave Solas alone!" He meant Snowball, our 8 month old kitten, who Rosie torments with unwanted affection. I called out from the kitchen, "You mean Snowball." and I walked into the family room. Rosie was up on a chair trying to take down Solas' ashes! That little devil! She keeps me hopping alright. I chase her around so much I deserve to be thinner!!

Never a dull moment,
Ariel

[gingerspal]

LOL great story with the little ones. they do keep you hopping!

[Ruth]

"I don't do hats" Just in those four words, you've conjured up a very clear image of your Solas. It made me smile because cats are such distinguished creatures, any kind of adornment just makes them cringe with embarrassment.

Birthdays must be particularly hard but I hope you remember him with fond memories. Maybe you can do something for your children. Would they like to have a little party in his honour, or if not for them for you?

How long will it take before you are able to take in another cat without the danger of FIP? Perhaps this is fates way of saying it's not quite the right time for you yet.

Take care

[Arnold]

Hey Ariel. I thought of you so many times this weekend. Yesterday was one week to the day since we lost Arnold and we were keenly aware of what the day represented. I knew the same would be true for you so you were in my thoughts all day, right along with Arnold. My day went better than expected. We talked, and cried, and spent time in the back yard so we could "be" with our little guy.

How are you doing?

[Solasmom]

Thank you Nanci,

What a nice post! It made me feel so good that you were thinking of me. Sunday was hard. but today has been killer for some reason. I just miss Solas so much. Little stuff started coming back to me; how he used to lie on the back of the couch behind my head and how his fat self used to pour over the sides of the arm of the sofa. Sometimes the images are so clear. The way he used to s l o w l y close his eyes when he was satisfied with something, almost smiling.

You all have helped me so much. I called my vets office to say thank you to the nice receptionist who listened to me cry for 3 weeks before Solas died. She was so great. I told her about this site. I figure if we can help anyone else, great.

Oh, Nanci, the first everything is hard. I remember when my Dad died, the first weeks and then month went by and I just kept thinking things like, "Last Thanksgiving he was here". It just sucked, but eventually it got easier. Just keep coming back and sharing. It really does help.

Ariel