Feeling Down, need to vent Options

[radgirl]

Hi all,

I've been doing pretty well with my grief over Misty, it will be 5 months in 2 weeks.

Trying to move forward, and doing okay, but today I am just in the dumps about it. I was trying to copy all his pictures to a disk to print off extras for a memorial project, and I had to stop. IT is just too painful. It's almost like if I copy them all, then he's really gone. I can't seem to completely close the book on it no matter how hard I try.

So I put the albums of older pictures away for now. I also hate making decisions like "well I have 2 of this one" etc. I feel like if I dobn't copy every picture that means I don't care or something.

I know it sounds stupid. I also feel kind of dumb because I called one of the pet loss hotlines again and they act like I am bothering them. They tell you to call back, you call back 2 months later, and they act like you are crazy for still being upset.

I think I've made great progress in the whole grief area, but the loss doesn't go away completely in 4 1/2 months. Today is just a downer day. I still keep hoping my little boy will come back.

Thanks for listening, Amy

[LittleGirl's...]

Hi Amy,

You'll be with your sweet Misty again. But right now things must feel so empty!

Misty would not want you to be hard on yourself even over the slightest little thing. Imagine if it was you who had passed on first. You would want Misty to be okay, to be feeling as much peace as possible.

I have experienced similar things with hotlines... I wonder why that is!! They should be giving you 100% support and nothing else! I don't understand how people working at a grief hotline can't totally "get it"!

I think LS still has a chat room, although I've never been there. It might be nice sometime for some of us to hook up there? Most of us at this site really do understand each other's pain, and sometimes in the midst of our own pain is when we're the most able to comfort someone else.

Sending you peaceful prayers,
Kathy

[Chaos, my little...]

Grief can often take many months to start to really subside. Sometimes it can be years. Grief counselors should know this! Hang in there Amy, eventually your grief will ease enough for you to find peace. You are already taking this unfortunate event with the counselor and bringing good out of it by understanding and helping others that are feeling the same way you are. Take your time and be easy with yourself, as others here have told me. I'm so sorry for your deep loss.

-Jenn/Chaos' Mom

[Furrys Mum]

Dear Amy,
I don't think it matters how long ago the loss, some days you can cope & on others the pain comes back as if it was only yesterday that they left us. Furry has been gone for over 8 months now, & like you I seem to be having some really down days now. I think a lot of it is to do with the summer coming & knowing she will never be here again to enjoy it - I still can't believe it. I have put out photos of her all around the house, as if it somehow makes her still here.
I think this is the best place for support.
Judith

[radgirl]

"I have put out photos of her all around the house, as if it somehow makes her still here."

We've done the same thing.......almost in every room. It does feel like he's still here, which is why I guess copying the old pictures is so painful, because that pretty much closes the book on it.

Thanks everyone for their encouragement, I feel better as the weeks go by, and I know things will get even better, but I think I need to put the maway for now and give it more time.......

I still miss him so much. Then some days I don't think about it because I get busy with what's go on in the present. I am glad I got to this point so far, but it also makes it seem so final, having good days. Yesterday was the first bad day I've had this month, and it just seemed like he wasn't gone, if I don't put that poster and album together, he'll be back........

Thanks again for listening, I don't know waht I'd do without everyone here......

Amy

[Moose Mom]

Amy Misty's Mama

Some days are just hard. You seem to be doing okay and then WHAM a bad one. I'm a little ahead of you, at almost 6 monts since Moose passed, and I still have my bad days.

We too have pictures up all over the house, to keep him close to us. It does feel like a betrayal of them to have good days, days were you have at least some time you don't think of them, some days you don't cry. I try to tell myself that Moose would have hated to see us so sad, and would be happy that we are adjusting. The thing is the very adjustiment to him being gone, the going on with your life feels so wrong, so final.

If it's killing you to do the album, don't do it yet.

Love

[John B]

We too have pictures up all over the house, to keep him close to us.

Many of us seem to have this in common. Since Sadie has been gone I find myself buying picture frames to put up all over. I think it is a nice memorial until we can be with them in person again.

[My Buddy]

Dear Amy,

Honey I totally get you, I am still obsessed with pictures, since we moved out of state, it feels even more imperative that photos are around because I want him to still be here, I have his photos in my new office, and my office mate (darn her) hasn't even asked me about him, or said, wow he's a pretty dog, okay that's crazy on my part to expect that, but I do... I guess if she had pix's of her dog or cat, I would say something...but then thats me...I know honey this is so hard, we are actually checking out puppies right now, I haven't gone to see any yet, but just emailing for good breeders is enough to kill me right now.

Anyway, I understand the crazies....Take Care, Tory, Hrudey's Momma, PS what's with those hotlines?!?!? aren't they always supposed to be supportive?!?! huh?! Weird..

[Mo&Maisie'sMom]

Amy,

None of that sounds stupid. I spent half of Easter making a slideshow of Mo and just weeping uncontrollably. I still cry every day, but some days are so much worse than others.

Makes me angry that the "help" lines don't honor or understand your pain. He was your kid, really, so those people just don't get it. They never will.

I know how awful the down days are. I hate waking up on Thursdays because it's another week since I've seen him. You're not alone in your pain..

Hugs,

Jen

[radgirl]

Thanks everyone for their support. You all were the catalyst that has helped me move forward a bit. IT's nice to know that when a bad day hits, I have somewhere to turn.

Like Jen I thought of him Easter---I used to do a little Easter basket with treats, and one year I found some cute cat Easter egg toys...

The memories are starting to bring some happiness vs. sadness, but I can't copythe last of the pictures yet. As long as a keep the project open I feel like I am keeping him alive, or maybe he''ll be back.....

Thanks again for listening and I wish everyone a happy day despite their grief and loss.......

Amy