I Picked Up Momo's Ashes, Need some help with this Options

[Mo&Maisie'sMom]

I knew this would be hard, but not like this. The animal clinic who had his ashes left a message at the wrong number, so his ashes were there for a week. I called and found that they had him - raced there two nights ago and picked them up. It will be 9 weeks tomorrow since he died.

How can this be the beautiful little being who brought so much light and joy into my life for almost 11 years? I took the wooden box out, cradled it in my arms and just sobbed. I haven't been able to write about it, it hurts so much. My heart is broken.

I feel like I lost a limb... I am not the same person that I was 9 weeks ago. I have changed. I function and work and sleep, and I don't cry all the time, but there was a lightness about me that is gone. I don't feel like the same person anymore. I have Maisie and I adore her and love her tremendously, but Mo and I had a bond that I know I will never have with anyone or anything else again. I miss so many things - and life just isn't the same without him.

Have any of you felt like this? I really feel empty..