My Baby Is Gone, Cat passing Options

[Ken Albin]

Sherli,

I was so sad at reading your story of Sable's passing. Our furkids really do become a major part of our lives, don't they? As you said, you will always have your memories and while you do Sable will always live in your heart.

No one could replace Sable but the cats you see at rescue shelters are all looking for good homes and each one has his/her own special qualities. My wife and I volunteer at a local Petco weekends with our rescue/adoption group trying to find wonderful people like yourself who love animals and have a place in their hearts for a furkid. Some day when the time is right I hope you will consider opening your life to a deserving adoptee.

[Moose Mom]

Sherli

It is inconceivable to think they have been gone however long it is. It also feels like maybe they were never here, like they were a wonderful dream. Or like you are in a nightmare you cannot wake up from. It's just so odd.

It's a week today for you, I'm so sorry. I too hope that when the time is right you will adopt a new baby to honor the love you and Sable shared. Sable showed you how to love a kitty, now you can pass that teaching on.

After my very best friend and kitty cat, Butch, passed on ten years ago I needed a 'cat fix' so much I went to a shelter and got a new friend just 4 days later. She is a little doll and I still have her. I understand about needing a 'cat fix'.

I'm so happy you got encourgement from your friends at church, that's so nice right now.

Love

[shermor]

Thank you Lori & Ken for your encouragement. I will be getting another cat soon I'm sure...I feel to lonely and lost in some ways without a pet now especially. I realize that another cat will not take Sable's place, but will help in my healing I think.

I will always miss Sable to some extent I'm sure, but have such treasured memories. I know grief is a road travelled with ups and downs; good days & bad' and basically walked through moment to moment.

Thanks again. What a valuable resource we have in one another.

Sherli

[Furkidlets' Mom]

Sherli,

Like others, I can completely relate to how you're feeling right now. I loved what Lori said (and often do!):

It also feels like maybe they were never here, like they were a wonderful dream. Or like you are in a nightmare you cannot wake up from. It's just so odd.

I myself was in a LOT of shock after Nissa's passing....much more so than with any other loss I'd had before, and despite her passing being soon-expected. Yet the feelings Lori spoke of are actually STILL often there....and I remember them, too, from my other losses. These are part of that "fog" and as you said, you are

trying to shut off the emotions related to Sable right now. I loved her so much, but I'm not sure I can have this deep of a wound to carry around.

If you're anything like me, you can only allow in bit and pieces of the pain and new reality at any given time, and so it can TAKE time to process it all....but eventually we usually do.

I still haven't put most of Nissa's things away, even 5 months later. I will do little amounts as I feel more ready, and that's fine. Each to his own, as they say. Whatever makes you feel more able to cope. Even if I ever adopted again, I'm not sure if I'd ever 'share' Nissa and Sabin's toys with anyone new...we'll see if and when I get there. In fact, I JUST cleaned Nissa's main litterbox this wknd....only because that possible stray cat, Callie, who I've been feeding, uses it once in awhile and I thought it should be cleaner for her. But...the old (clumping) litter remains! Since Nissa's main problem was her kidneys, her litterbox is a very sensitive article for me, and so I will only do with it what's most comfortable for ME.

If you ARE able to adopt again....good for you, basically!! At least you'll be providing a safe haven and love for another needy furbaby...which is more than I can say for myself! Hang in there - I'm thinking of you, too, and hoping your grief journey is as gentle for you as possible.

[shermor]

Furkidlets Mom:

It really is nice to be able to share the grief of these loses with others. We certainly know how one another feels.

Last night I came in from having dinner with a friend and fully expected for Sable to greet me. That is such an overwhelming feeling of loss when my mind kicked in reminding me that she was gone. I did basically the same thing this morning when I got up expecting to see her come into the kitchen while I was making coffee. She was certainly apart of each detail of my daily life.

I hope Callie gives you some relief from your pain....even if it's not permanent. A good kitty fix certainly won't hurt you!

We're in this together!

Sherli

[Furkidlets' Mom]

Sherli,

I know how those experiences of shock after shock are, as we try our best to adjust to a different life from the one we never wanted to change. Even today, my H and I still can't and won't step on the spot that Nissa's upstairs water glass occupied. It just seems disrespectful, habit aside. And I still can't imagine our family room w/o hers and Sabin's cat-tree post not sitting there...and so it stays. (mind you, again, Callie uses it when here...upsetting yet a good thing.

I had to chuckle, though...Callie? Giving me some relief from my pain?...Callie actually ADDS to my pain...my physical pain, that is! She just scratches me in thanks!...and her claws have possibly NEVER been trimmed! I'd love to give her a hug, she's so soft and pretty, but she'll have none of THAT nonsense! Ah dear...poor Callie just doesn't know what love's all about, and won't let me teach her, either. Maybe she doesn't like me calling her Callie, when her name might be Josephine, for all I know!

It's good though, that you got out with a friend, as changing some of our routines is often beneficial, when and as we're able. But even when and if we know what we can do to help ourselves through the grief, it's usually easier said than done. I find the sharing the easiest of them all, though, and often the most helpful.

Keeping you in my thoughts...

[shermor]

Furkidlet's mom:

It is hard to know what to do with our furbabies toys, etc. I did put away Sable's food bowl & her water dish. It broke my heart that she wasn't there to eat her food and then sloppily get a drink and drop some morsels into that water dish! What a sight she was!

It's hard to believe that she is gone....but she is. I went to the website of the crematory where she was sent to see if her name had been added to the memorial page. There is was...big as day...Sable Morgan. I hadn't looked for several days because I knew that would make it even more final!

This website is a comfort to me in that I can express my sorrow and tell every other pet owner how fabulous my girl was. AND I know you all understand.

YOU remember the joy that your babies brought you and it will help some I'm sure!

Sherli

[My Buddy]

Dear Sherli,

My heart breaks for your loss of your very cute Sable, I just read your story and had to respond, I lost my boy on Christmas morning, and I still have his food bowl and water bowl on top of the fridge, also a half filled bag of dog food, (what do I do with that?) I did donate several of his blankets from his bed to the vet hospital that took care of him in the end, that felt good to do. But the toys are still behind a chair in our living room...I am not sure I want a new dog to play with them or not, one toy especially. I understand the feelings of a fog, I still can't quite believe it happened, I have his ashes now and even still its hard to believe, I do believe that its a protective mechanism to help a person who is not quite ready to face this terrible loss. My prayers are with you, I am sure when you are ready you will adopt again, you sound like a wonderful animal lover able to take care of a new bundle of joy, remember all the happy memories. Peace to you and hope today is a better day. Tory, Hrudey's momma