Still Feeling Really, Really Bad And Sad, Still Feels Like She Should Be Here Options

[BabyHannahsMom]

Ya'll, I'm sorry. I just feel so sad. Sometimes, like last night, I just kept thinking that Hannah was supposed to be here to go to bed with me. I thought it several times. I'm not even sure I've 100% accepted that she's gone.

I am just so depressed and even though I imagine that's normal after just under 6 weeks, I'm still in the mode of blaming myself for this and that, and for thinking about all the things I could have done for her but didn't. You have all helped so much. I know I just have to assimilate everything and get myself together, but it's so hard.

I would so much appreciate your looking at the two posts I made about Hannah and the two pictures of her in the Tribute section. I see not very many have looked at those two posts. I put them in that forum because I figured that's where they were supposed to go. But would you please read the little tribute I wrote about Miss Hannah and her pictures and let me hear from you about that? It would mean so much to me. I have cried and cried so much to you all about myself, and I really wanted you to know about how special and sweet and cute Hannah was.
Thanks again,
Marcia

[gingerspal]

{{{{{{{{{{Marcia!}}}}}}}}}}} I will look at your tributes and come back and comment.
I am so sorry you are feeling so down.
May I ask a silly question? (maybe I should look up your past posts for the answer)
are you considering getting another pet? I ask because I think your Hannah would probably love that you made room in your heart for another animal who needs you. I can tell you would be a wonderful pet owner. Just wondering. I'll be back.
Patti

[Muffins]

Hi Marcia:

Your Hannah is sooooooooooooo beautiful, and I can tell that she was very, very well loved....

I mean, 'I LOVED THE SHADES....."

Your baby was sooooooooo special.......... When I look at your Avatar, really, Hannah makes me smile....

She's soooo petite, tiny & just oh so loveable......
And yet, I know she is over Rainbow's Bridge......It is hard, and the tears come & come.................... At some point, they seem to stop a bit, only to start up again.... But, at one point, they do stop, and you start remembering your baby with smiles & laughter, sometimes a tear or two............but, mostly smiles......
All of your beautiful memories.......

I've asked my Ernestine to please, "show Hannah the ropes" over the Bridge..... Ernie has been there for just about 3 months & 3 weeks, and I know that she has earned her Angel Wings.......

What you wrote about your baby was beautiful.....it's easy to see that she was very loved Marcia!!!!!

After Ernestine was put to sleep, I kept looking for her in the house for weeks; expecting that she would be here,
and then remembering, "Oh, yeah................."
Sometimes, I'd even see "something" out of the corner of my eye..... I knew it was my girl.....
So, it is very normal that you would think that your Hannah should be in bed with you..... That's the way IT WAS FOR SOOOOO VERY LONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ben & I were sooooo broken-hearted (obviously), after she was put to sleep, "YES, even tho she was 19 years & 10 months".... She had gotten progressively sicker 3 months prior............
After having my girl with me for soooooo long, she was my best friend......... Saw me through a lot, marriage, divorce, relationships, and now, a very steady & beautiful relationship with "her dad, Ben"......
I just didn't want her poor tiny body to hurt anymore, and it made me sooooo sad to see her in pain!!!!

We've found a "new feline vet" for our Lucy & Yo-Yo............ Lucy's cough is too worrisome for us, and the vet (that Ernie saw), said, "it's asthma", and gave her a steroid shot......

I guess, from what I have heard, lots of people on this site have received at the very least a bereavement card from "the vet", because of the loss of their beloved animal.
We never did, and we were (like anyone else would be), sooooooo broken-hearted after our girl was put to sleep.....

Nothing................ Just paid the bill, and we left in tears.............

I hope Marcia, when you FEEL IT MIGHT BE TIME, go to one of your local shelters, and just have a look around....
You sound like a wonderful mom, and there are soooooooooo many babies waiting for homes......
But, only when you're ready.....

Goodnight & God Bless you,,

Love, Denise & Ben

[BabyHannahsMom]

Thanks so much Denise and Patti. I have visited a couple of animal shelters in the last several weeks -- just to visit and give a little love, if only for a short few minutes, to those little animals who may never know or have known love in their lives. I am not ready yet, but when I do decide to get another little one, I think I will get two of them at the same time, and I know I will "rescue" one that needs someone. There are way too many little ones out there with no one to love them. It's so unbelievable, and so incomprehensible that so many are just tossed away, and especially unbearable and unbelievable how many of them have been abused. It kills my soul!

My neighbor (trying to help me) asked me to babysit for about an hour for her daughter's little dog. It brought back some memories of Hannah when she was younger, but honestly it was difficult to have another dog in Hannah's house. Sometimes I do laugh about that little wild Hannah girl when I remember how she was, but it still hurts so very much. She was so very precious, all her life. I still miss her so -- only my little Hannah.

It's so good to know that Ernestine will be "showing Miss Hannah the ropes. I bet they're best buds by now! Thanks again you two, for your kindness and caring.
Marcia

[gingerspal]

Good Morning Marcia--happy memorial day (well, it is tomorrow but happy memorial day just the same)--do you have plans?
Thank you for always answering my posts.
I loved your big photo of your "younger" Hannah--those ears flying! I was thinking I could do a painting of that photo (I am an artist). I can't bear to do a painting of Ginger just yet...but I intend to someday. I know that now I would not be able to see the canvas through the tears. Ginger was a gorgeous creature. He had the most perfect symmetrical marks. I always said he could have modeled for any of the cat food companies! lol! Hannah would be a challenge to paint because of being black. Black has to be handled with great care artisically speaking. but, I would give it a go if you approve. --a present from me to you.

[BabyHannahsMom]

I sent you an email, but wanted to respond here too. That would just be such a wonderful gift. Thank you so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you for your generous offer. I look forward to the day when you feel like painting that beautiful Ginger too. As I said in my email to you, it's magical to think of the two of them, Hannah and Ginger, "coming to life" through your hands.

Marcia