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 It Just Reminds Me Of Cleo |
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 May 17 2004, 09:02 AM
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#1
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 Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 15 Joined: 13-May 04 From: United Kingdom Member No.: 334  |
I was doing better, but not today. I shouldn't have brought her home to burry her. Everytime I go into my garden, it reminds me of Cleo. Will I ever be able to enjoy the outdoors and my garden again? Have I ruined the house and home I love so much with the constant reminder of grief? And now I can't undo it.
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May 17 2004, 09:07 AM
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#2
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 Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 84 Joined: 4-May 04 From: Atlanta, GA Member No.: 317 |
Hi, Izzy,
I know what you're going through. My Phoenix was my "reading partner" every night. We would go upstairs to one of our guest bedrooms I turned into a reading room for me and I would read while Phoenix chewed on a cow hoof. Reading is my passion and now I feel like it's been ruined. I cannot stand the emptiness of the room. Even though Phoenix would chew on a cow hoof for about 15 minutes and then curl up and go to sleep, I guess it was just her presence that was so wonderful and I miss her the most when I'm in there. I don't know what words of comfort to give you except, I do keep going in there every night to read because I know that I have to make new memories. I keep trying to get one of our other dogs to come up with me but they like being downstairs more. I'm thinking of you. Just take it a day at a time. That's all we can do.  Jan |
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May 17 2004, 09:08 AM
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#3
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Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 15 Joined: 27-March 04 From: Ithaca, NY Member No.: 281 |
I buried Pumpkin in my garden and even though it made me sadder at first (it has been 9 weeks) now I feel closer to her when I go outside and can be close to her. I like that I have kept her close to me. Please be gentle with yourself - we have been through a major loss that will take a long time to recover from.
-------------------- Until one has loved an animal, a part of their soul remains unawakened - Anatole France
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May 17 2004, 09:17 AM
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#4
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 Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 641 Joined: 24-April 04 From: Mississippi Gulf Coast Member No.: 308 |
Oh, Izzy. I think later you will be glad you brought her home. Really. I buried Hannah in a friend's yard because I live in an apartment. I really, really think it will be okay. I am sorry you are feeling bad about it now though. Maybe think about how bad you would have felt if you hadn't brought her back home. You did bring her back home, you know.
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May 17 2004, 11:43 AM
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#5
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 Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 36 Joined: 7-April 04 Member No.: 294 |
No, I honestly don't think you've ruined anything. I know it's hard to believe right now, but the pain will lesson, and you will be able to enjoy your garden and the outside again. I wish I could have brought Kitt back and buried her in our yard, but that's against the HYSTERICAL SOCIETY's rules, and since we live in the overlay of that part of the city we have to abid by the rules. Anyway, I'm sure soon that you'll be able to enjoy your garden again, and you'll also soon be able to think of some wonderful memories of Cleo.
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May 17 2004, 02:34 PM
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#6
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 Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 317 Joined: 25-August 03 Member No.: 65 |
I think that, in time, the garden will come to represent a place of rest and spiritual comfort. Try thinking of that. As you learn to handle the grief (I don't think grief fades, truly, I just think we learn to handle it better) you will come to LOVE the garden and understand that it is Cleo's place of peace.
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May 18 2004, 11:05 AM
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#7
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 Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 27 Joined: 28-April 04 Member No.: 314 |
DJ,
Boy did you hit the nail on the head with that comment! I don't feel like the grief will ever fade, but maybe you're right, we just learn how to handle it better. Today is not a good day for me. Very sad and lost, once again. I almost feel that my whole house is ruined now that my girl isn't there with me. I too, hope it will get better and won't feel so depressing being in the house and my baby girl not being there to greet me and watch tv with me. The loss is so heavy... |
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May 18 2004, 03:22 PM
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#8
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Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 15 Joined: 13-May 04 From: United Kingdom Member No.: 334 |
i found what jan said about making new memories in a place quite helpful. a friend came round yesterday afternoon and said 'it's beautiful out. let's sit in the garden.' i was reluctant to go outside and be there, but i did and we had a lovely time together, my friend and i. and then yesterday evening my husband and i made dinner with other friends and ate outside. it felt a bit like a step forward for me.
i think i would reiterate that advice for mayabella. start trying to make new happy memories in your house. it's going to take a long time for all of us, i'm sure. but today was better for just having taken that step back out into my back garden yesterday. what will tomorrow be like now? it's so unpredictable. 
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May 18 2004, 07:15 PM
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#9
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 Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 366 Joined: 18-May 04 Member No.: 340 |
everything will be prettier and better there in the future because of the significance of the place....in time. my heart goes out to you.
-------------------- Ginger was part Norwegian Forest Cat. When I first took him in he was a meanie, so his full name was "Gingersnap", and I did not change his name after I learned she was a he.
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