Will Things Ever Get Better?, More Loss of a different kind Options

[Shortrish]

I am still suffering from the loss of our Scooter. Our 3 other cats, are still acting strange. I still can't talk to my family, I tried, but no understanding there. I was invited to go to my sons home this weekend, and I mentioned that my 3 other cats were still mourning a bit. I told my mom this, an she said, oh the cat's will be fine, you need to get out and be with people. Well, I lost my job today on top of everything else. They wanted somone with no experience. I left the job I had because it was closer to home and better pay. Their office is such a mess with billing, that now the drs decided they really needed someone with more experience. So, it's no wonder I don't want to be around anyone in the physical sense. Writing here is fine, but being around people physically, no way. No wonder I love animals so much, they love you unconditionally and give you comfort no matter what. Everything just seems to be coming at me at once, and I don't understand why just yet. There's other stuff going on too. I knew I wanted to stay in bed for a reason today. I miss our Scooter so much, I keep looking in his kitty cube where he used to sleep during the day, expecting to see him there. The other cats have not gone in it since he's been gone. They still look for him too. Just so much pain here right now, and not enough tears to take the hurt away.

[ccheyssial]

I'm sorry you're having a tough time. It always seems like things happen all at once. But there are reasons why things happen. Just try to take care of yourself and pray. I think that sometimes that is all I have left is my faith that things will get better. I've been having a tough time with the job lately. Just stay strong and don't give up you're fighting spirit. We are all survivors and you will get through this. Keep the faith. You will one day look back on this time and know that it helped to make you stronger. Not easy to believe sometimes, but it is true.

Take good care,

Chestnut's mommy (Catherine)

[BooBoo's Mom]

I like animals better than people. I loved my dog more than anyone else except my husband. People hurt you and cause you misery and pain. My dog just gave love and more love and never tried to intentionally hurt me. No wonder we are all grieving our pets so much.

[Juanita]

Hey Trish....at the risk of sounding disrespectful, tell your mom to go take a hike! Wouldn't it be just peachy if "getting out and being with people" took the pain out of losing someone you love?

I've always said that we humans should take a lesson from the animals we love so much. When they're hurting, they're smart enough to hide away and lick their wounds....the animal equivalent of pulling the covers up over our heads and staying in bed. You just do what feels RIGHT for you, and let everyone else just bug off. I know for sure that, when you're ready to "get out and see people", you'll do it.

I am still in daily pain over losing my sweet Spike more than two months ago. I still cannot believe I was able to make the decision to have that dear little guy euthanized, and I am still haunted by that last day. Not everyone can wrap their head around the concept of grieving for an animal, and that's fine. That's why I come here and why I know you keep coming here.

If there's anything we've all learned from this dreadful experience, it's that each of grieves in our own way and in our own time. Personally, I believe that every day that I mourn the loss of my "soul dog" is a tribute to his memory. You and Scooter are in my prayers.

Juanita....Loving Mom of Angel Spike

[Shortrish]

CATHERINE - THANK YOU - I WILL DO MY BEST TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. I'VE NEEDED A NEW KNEE REPLACEMENT FOR OVER 2 YEARS NOW. I'M BEGINNING TO THINK THAT MAYBE MY LOSING MY JOB(WHICH HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH MY KNEE) IS A SIGN THAT I SHOULD HAVE MY KNEE DONE NOW, SO I CAN RECOVER AND GET A BETTER JOB. I DO BELIEVE IN PRAYER AND EVERY DAY ASK FOR HELP TO GET THROUGH THE DAY AS A GOOD PERSON. ALL WE CAN DO, IS DO OUR BEST.
TRISH

[Shortrish]

JUANITA - TRUER WORDS WERE NEVER SPOKEN. I SHOULD HAVE JUST LEARNED THAT TO CALL FAMILY WAS NOT IN MY BEST INTEREST. E-MAIL IS THE BEST WAY. IT'S LATE, AND I HAD EVERY INTENTION OF TAKING A NAP WHEN I GOT HOME FROM WORK TODAY, BUT, SINCE I DON'T WORK ANYMORE, I DECIDED TO STAY UP, AND WATCH TVE. TITANIC AGAIN, ON AND OFF. AND YOU'RE RIGHT, WHEN I FEEL LIKE BEING AROUND PEOPLE AGAIN, I WILL. I KNOW THAT DAY WILL COME, BUT RIGHT NOW, LIKE YOU SAID, I JUST WANT TO PULL THE COVERS UP OVER MY HEAD. I AM BLESSED THAT I STILL HAVE 3 FURBABIES. BOO, FIDGET AND GABBIE. FIDGET LOVES TO SLEEP UP BY MY HEAD ON MY PILLOW. SOMETIMES HE EVEN PUTS HIS PAW IN MY HAND. HE SEEMS TO KNOW WHEN I NEED COMFORTING (WHICH IS OFTEN).BOO, SEEMS TO BE THE KING OF THE HOUSE, AND GABBIE MY LITTLE FEMALE, LOVES TO CUDDLE IN THE MORNING. AS I SAID BEFORE, THEY'VE BEEN MORE QUIET THESE 3 WEEKS. THE HOUSE IS SO QUIET. SCOOTER SEEMED TO KEEP THINGS MOVING HERE. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN IT. HE WAS THE MOST VOCAL WHEN BIRDS OR SQUIRELLS WERE IN THE YARD OR ON THE DECK. WE DO HAVE HUMMINGBIRDS TOO. HE USED TO LOVE WATCHING THEM FEED AT OUR FEEDER FOR THEM. BEFORE WE HAD TO PUT HIM TO REST, I HAD FOUND ALL THE PICTURES OF OUR CATS I COULD FIND, AND PUT THEM IN A SPECIAL ALBUM. FROM NOW ON, I WILL KEEP IT UP TO DATE. IT'S HARD TO LOOK AT SOME OF THE PICTURES, BUT THERE WERE SOME FUNNY ONES OF SCOOTER. I HAD PUT SOME CURTAINS ON THE LIVING ROOM FLOOR, AND HE JUST LOVED GETTING ALL BUNCHED UP IN THEM AND HIDE, THEN JUMP OUT AT THE OTHER CATS. I'M GLAD I HAVE THOSE PICTURES TO BRING HAPPY MEMORIES TO MIND. THANKS FOR LISTENING, WHOEVER READS THIS. I HAD AN IDEA FOR MY MEMORIAL GARDEN TO SCOOTER. I WANTED TO TRY AND FIND FLOWERS THAT WILL COME UP EVERY YEAR, BUT ALL DIFFERENT COLORS THAT MAKE UP THE COLORS OF A RAINBOW. THEN PLANT THEM IN THE SHAPE OF THE RAINBOW AND THEN PUT HIS MEMORIAL STONE IN THE MIDDLE OF THAT. SINCE I LOVE TO GARDEN, MAYBE I'LL TAKE A RIDE TO THE GARDEN SHOP AROUND THE CORNER FROM ME AND SEE WHAT'S THERE, TOMORROW. MAYBE.

[nyna22000]

The memorial sounds like it will be beautiful.
I think we all have to learn to hold our memories close, but to move on for the living. I will be putting my furbaby to sleep on the 15th. I have taken some time off not just to grieve, but to pammper his little sister Jasmine. She knows he isn't well, and it will be hard on her to. Instead of staying in bed you need to try and focus on the other three and help them through too. That will help you too. Scooter will always be there in your heart. The idea for albums is good. I am a major picture person. It will be hard to look at first, but then there will be joy for the time you were together. Scooter will be there waiting for you.
As hard as it seems , you need to live and bring joy back into your heart. You will always miss, and love Scooter, but it will get less painful if you let it. My prayers are with you, you've had a lot on your plate. Nina

[RIT & Cleo]

I am sorry you are still hurting so bad...yes, you need to reach out only to supportive people - who really understand. Try to get out and do one small thing each day in Scooter's memory - a scrapbook memorial would be great and maybe therapeutic. Get pictures, poems, cards, colors for Scooter. Write your favorites memories of Scooter and put them there too.

I am working on one for Cleo too. I look at his pictures every night before I go to bed. I still see his shape and image out of the corner of my eye at home too.

Your garden idea is so lovely too...draw out a picture/garden plan. Pick which flowers, etc. Poor your love and grief out on paper. Then slowly make it come to life.

PS. The grief seems harder when you don't feel well either - your knee. Maybe it is time to take care of this?

[Shortrish]

I'm trying to be more active today. I got up at pretty much my normal time. My son and his wife invited me up for the weekend, but I didn't want to face the summer traffic, or packing. So, if I'm up to it, and I'm going to try and force myself, I'm going to try and get on the road early to just visit for the day. It's only an hour drive. The weather is better and they are having day 2 of their yard sale. They have 3 cats and a new puppy. I'm thinking they think seeing their circus will help me, and it just might be good for a change of scenery. Plus, her mom will be there. If I cry, I cry. That's what they make tissues for. They will understand, her mom has 3 dogs and 1 cat, so they are animal lovers. They already know I'm still having a hard time over losing Scooter 3 weeks ago.

I like the idea of putting the idea for the memorial garden on paper first. I can research what flowers I'd like to use, then go to the garden shop,

And as far as losing my job yesterday, even my mom said it was probably a sign that this would be a good time to get my knee replaced. So, I'll give my orthopaedist a call, for a consultation. When you have physical pain, it doesn't help the emotional pain much either. But, I've come to know that emotional pain can lead to phyical pain too. But, I have seen the x-rays of my knee, and I didn't have to go to medical school to know there's nothing left. Even the doctor came in and took a look and said Good Lord, what are we going to do with you? He came over and gave me a hug, and I said "shoot me?", only joking of course.

Scooter, my precious baby, it's been 3 weeks today, but it seems just like 1 hour has passed. Be at peace and know you are so loved and missed.

I am sorry that you are having to put to rest your baby on August 15, but it is also good that you can spend some time with your younger furbaby and your other pet too. Everyone here will be thinking of you as you go through this journey, and there are so many who can and will give you such encouragement, support and love. I'll to my best too.

Thank you to everyone who has listened to me ramble on. It helps.

[Juanita]

Trish,
What a beautiful idea for a memorial garden! I am so in awe of people who can not only think of things like this but execute them as well. This will be a truly healing and therapeutic project. I hope you take a photo of the finished garden and post it for us to see. But in the meantime, take your time and enjoy every step....from thinking and planning right up to the time you step back and view your masterpiece.
I am also trying to ignore the daily signs that my right knee is in bad shape. I'm happy to hear that you're doing something about it. The period of recuperation would be a great time to plan that garden!
Once you're "back on your feet" (pun intended), you can think about a new job. I am a professional resume writer, and if you'd like me to review yours, just ask.
Juanita

[Kim R.]

Okay, I'm not trying to turn this into a 'medical' thread , but my mom recently had a knee relacement and it is the best thing she has ever done! She tried to put it off for as long as possible (I'm sure she was scared) but her knee was completely shot, and she was living in horrible pain that pain killers could no longer control, so she finally decided to go with the surgery. She wishes now that she would have done it sooner. She is completely pain free! The recovery really depends on your personal drive. My mom was a real work horse in physical therapy...really pushing herself...so her recovery time surprised even the doctors. In other words, if you feel up to dealing with all that will be involved in the recovery (because they say it is up to you and how you perform in physical therapy after that dictates the success with the surgery)...go for it! I know surgery can be scary, but no one should live in pain if there are other alternatives !
Good luck and God Bless!
Kim

[5catsmom]

Like Kim, I don't mean to turn this into a medical thread, but yes, I think this would be a good time to think about the knee replacement. My mom's had 2, and while she had them awhile ago, and back then they were just new so the materials were different, and hers are now losing their effectiveness, nowadays, I understand, they last much longer. Living with pain, and sickness, makes everything amplified, and while that's not meant to minimize your pain over Scooter's passing, physical pain added to emotional pain multiplies them both. You may need physical therapy afterward - my mom did - and as someone who spent 5 months in a rehab facility for nerve damage, I can testify that those physical therapists are the most motivated and cheerful folks I think I've ever come across as a group. That alone is salve for the soul, and while it won't bring Scooter back, it will give you an outlet to share - and when you share grief, you gain comfort, which is of course one reason we all come here. A lot of PT, at least in the facility I was in, was one-on-one PT, and I met some wonderful, caring, and warm folks, a lot of whom I could open up to in a way I never would with even some of my family.

The recovery time will also give you time to think about and plan your garden. There are so many catalogs out there, and while it's late in a lot of areas, you can get some wonderful ideas. And gardening is so therapeutic, and the results so tangible, it does a lot for the soul. A beautiful fragrant colorful garden is such a fantastic tribute.

Good luck, please let us know what happens, cause by now, we're all kind of family, aren't we? Take care - Barbara

[Shortrish]

Thank you everyone for your true care and concern. I'll be looking through the catologs and my flower books for idea's on flowers the color of the rainbow that will come up every year. As I had said before, I would love to have the colors run together like a rainbow, synbolizing The Rainbow Bridge. My husband is already in the works on planning to build a small bridge to put in our Memorial Garden to Scooter too. My idea has really blosommed and I think it has helped both my husband and I, knowing we are going to do somthing special to memorialize our little guy,( and in a way all animals that have crossed that bridge.) My family or friends may think we're crazy, and maybe we are , but if it helps us, that's what matters. I even went to a shelter to give some love to animals there. When I am emotionally and physically ready, we will adopt another furkid, but for now, at least I can visit them and let them know they are not alone.

When we have the garden finished, we will make sure we take a picture and post it here.

[Juanita]

Trish,

It's a long journey to peace and acceptance after losing a beloved pet, but it sounds as though you're on the right road. Healing prayers to you and your husband.

Juanita....Loving Mom of Angel Spike

[My Cat Scooter]

Trish, you helped me through my toughest of times these past few weeks with my losing of MY cat Scooter. I know he is in a better place, try to belive you will see him again, I think thongs will get better. Continue to remember the good times, that's what I am trying to do, thanks for all your encouragement and I hope you feel relief vey soon.

Mike

[Shortrish]

Again - thank you all for your love and support through this difficult journey we have all had to go through. Some of us are at different stages of grief. I've been through them all, and back then back at the beginning again. But, there is hope. Even though I was teary today, I did get out of the house. I think you might smile at a new post I'm going to make titled, Paw Prints On The Mirror. At least, what happened gave me some peace.

Bless All Of You,

Trish