Question About The Funeral/cremation Options

[raingirl23]

Hi everyone, I am new to this site. I am glad that I found this site, and I am really sorry about the loss of your pets. I am about to let go of my pet too. And it really hurts. My cat Susie has been diagnosed with cancer, and we are going to have to put her to sleep. I love her so very much. I would like to ask those of you, who are Christians (please no offense to any other religions) what are the ceremonies after they pass away. I know the official doctrine says that animals don't have souls and they don't go to heaven, but that has been largely disputed. And I know a lot of people, who believe that animals either go to heaven or are taken care of by God in some other way after their death. Are there any specific procedures that need to be done after her death to make sure SHE GOES TO THE RIGHT PLACE? I must do what is right FOR HER. I wouldn't want her to suffer even after death because I didn't know the correct procedures. Also is cremation ok? Or does it have to be burial? I would really appreciate your responses.
Thank you.

[Simba's Daddy]

First I want to say that I am very sorry this is happening. I am Christian and I feel that we should do what feels right. I had my cat, Simba, since the day he was born to the day he passed on. I didn't have any kind of ceremony but I am having him privately cremated and keeping his ashes with me at all times. This feels right to me since he was pretty much with me every moment of his life. I feel that God will take care of our beloved friends after their death no matter how you handle their passing.

[Kim R.]

I am also a devoted Christian, and I agree with Simba's Daddy when he said

I feel that God will take care of our beloved friends after their death no matter how you handle their passing.

There isn't anything that we can do or not do to ensure their salvation...it is to be grantd to them regardless of what we do. Like Simba's Daddy, I also went with private cremation (no ceremony to speak of) so she could 'be here' with me always....that is a personal decision and depends on your personal feelings...just do what brings you the most comfort.
I am very sorry you had to seek out a place like this because that means another precious furbaby has earned their wings which is always sad for us, but glorious for them....
Kim

[Shortrish]

I am so sorry to hear about your precious cat. I, too am a Christian, and we were with our Scooter when we had him put to rest. It was such a difficult decision,but we just had to look at him to see it was time. We just told him we loved him over and over again, until he was at peace. We decided on indivudual cremation, and wanted our precious Scooter with us. We have his cremains back in a beautiful mahogany box. I put a picture of him inside, with a little angel, and a favorite toy mouse, also some of the fur shaved from his leg for the iv. I said a prayer to God, telling him we had sent our precious furbaby to him to watch over. All animals are God's creatures, so I truly believe there is a special place for them in his care. Whatever you decide to do, whatever comforts you in the way of a ceremony, is up to you. Some people bury their pets in the garden in their backyards and have a little ceremony and plant a special garden. Or put a special memorial plaque in the garden. Again, my thoughts and heart go out to you in this time of grief. Please write again. It really helps, I know it has continued to help me.

[raingirl23]

Thank you very much for your replies. My heart goes out to you. The pets on your pictures are adorable. I can't even put the picture of my Susie now. I don't have the heart.

How does the private cremation work? Does it mean just that your pet is cremated individually i.e. not with the other pets or are you actually present at the cremation?


Shortish, which prayer did you use? Was it just you talking to God, or did you go with something from the Bible? I know that there is no so to speak standard procedure or anything just like you said. But maybe if you share you experience on which prayer you used I'd use it too.

Once again thank you so much for replying.
My heart goes out to you and your pets.

[Juanita]

Hi Raingirl,
Yes, private cremation means that your pet is cremated individually and you receive the "cremains", usually with a certificate of authenticity from the crematory. Your vet should be knowledgeable in referring you to a reputable facility. After saying good-bye to our dear Spike (1990-2006) on May 23, our vet handled the whole process, and the ashes were delivered by mail shortly thereafter. We also received a little plaster cast pawprint taken just after Spike passed. Prior to being adopted by Spike in 1992 I had always had cats and, over the years lost several of them. I loved and missed each one, but I never felt the need or desire to keep a pet's ashes until I knew that Spike's life was drawing to a close. We had a very special bond, and it just seemed "right".
As far as ceremony, just do whatever your heart dictates. It need not be religious per se in order to be exceedingly spiritual. Some people light candles, some plant memorial gardens, put together photo collages or write a letter to the pet. Others choose to scatter the ashes somewhere outdoors where their pet was always happy. There are many ways to honor its memory.
It is sometimes a good idea to put off decisions like this until something strikes you as a special way to pay tribute. And remember that nothing you do is carved in stone. If you choose to have a memorial ceremony soon after Susie crosses, you can always decide to honor her in another way at a future time.
Whatever you decide, please be assured that it will be the "right" thing to do. Decisions made in love are always "right", especially when making the heartbreaking choice to euthanize. I heard something I just love about where animals go after crossing over....that God places each kitty in an angel's lap and each dog at an angel's feet...and there are surely equally wonderful places for birds, fish, hamsters and every other kind of beloved pet.
I am happy that you found this site, but sad that you had to. Wishing you peace...
Juanita

[Kim R.]

raingirl,

How does the private cremation work? Does it mean just that your pet is cremated individually i.e. not with the other pets or are you actually present at the cremation?

When we had Sasha privately cremated, she was placed by herself so we were sure to get only her ashes back. We drove her to the crematory ourselves. They actually did offer to let us stay and watch them place her in there, but I felt like that would be too much reality for me, I chose not to stay for that. Not to mention they said that the entire process from start to cool down can be several hours. They were wonderful people (most who choose that line of work are) and allowed me to make special arrangements to have her done that same day. I had a hard time with being away from her, and I wanted her back as soon as possible, so we were able to pick her up later that day. I am grateful for that, as I now know after hearing from many people on here that that is definitely not the normal procedure. I would talk to your crematory personally. I am sure they will be happy to answer any questions, and they may offer special things you may want to take advantage of (i.e. I wasn't aware of the plaster paw cast that many on here talk about. I would have loved to have had that...now it's too late.) Don't worry if you're afraid you will cry while talking to them. I was a blubbering idiot. They were very comforting and patient about it...I'm sure they see emotions like that every day...
your friend in grief,
Kim

[Shortrish]

I used The Lord's Prayer in my little memorial to our Scooter, then I spoke some words from my heart. I told God what a wonderful pet Scooter had been, and how brave he was fighting his disease, and to please look after him until we crossed to be with him again. It was not long, but I also had written a poem for Scooter which is on this site under For Scooter. That can also help you. Again, I am so sorry for what you are going through, you will find comfort here, and hopfully from your friends and family as well. Yes, your pet is creamated individually. Our vet also made the arrangements. There was even a web site for us to go to . It was a beautiful 65 acre park. It is always going to be for burials for animals. They have special areas, and it is actually a funeral home for pets. They also provided creamation services. We could have attended our Scooter's creamation, but due to having a very new job, was not able to attend. This place did not mind my calling to see that Scooter had arrived, and if I had any special words I would like to be said before his individual creamation. I told her what I wanted, and I truly believe they followed my every wish. They even told me when they would be personally bringing him back to my vet, with a certificate, which was truly beautiful and touching. Whatever you decide, you will do what you feel is right in your heart. Again, I am so sorry that you are having to go through this.

[5catsmom]

I am so sorry for your loss - it is one of the hardest things you may ever go through, but you will make it, and I definitely believe (I'm Christian also) you will be together in Heaven one day.

We've had all our pets, (unfortunately, the crematory people know me all too well), cremated, and I believe most are individual cremations. Make sure you're choosing one with a sterling reputation. (I hate to say this, but it bothered me so very much earlier this year that a Virginia crematory was just piling pets and shelter animals in the woods in another state. I spent a horrible night till I phoned my place and they assured me they'd never done practice with that establishment.) All my pets are in various boxs and covered urns that we've gathered around the world, and now safely in a cabinet in the dining room. I see them every day and think of them. When I go, they will be with me in my box or urn, that's my plan, and if any go afterward, they'll be placed around me.

I never had a ceremony for my pets. A lot of people do, but I prefer to memorialize my pets by remembering them in my prayers every night and talking to them mentally several times throughout the day. The last pet who left, I was able to visit before he was taken away - the crematory people were wonderful and allowed me private time with him in another room. I got a certificate with a pin of a cat with a halo that I wear whenever I'm feeling down or blue, or having a medical appointment (I had a cancer scare recently, but I was wearing the pin and I like to believe that's why everything worked out alright.) I think any ceremony you have, any words which are spoken, whatever works for you, is appropriate. God understands what you're going through - after all, he lost His Son, so he knows the pain of such a grievious loss. Your words aren't as important as your emotions are - go with what seems right.

Let us know how you're doing and Take care - Barbara

[Erindira]

What a sweet thing, to be concerned about doing it right for your pet. As a Christian, I didn't even think to talk to anyone about my beliefs about what will happen to Snickers soul, because I didn't think they would understand how I feel. Its sad that 'officially' we are told to believe that they have no soul, and so no connection with God. I heard someone say that, when he was asked by a young girl if her dog would go to heaven, his answer was 'if that is what would make it heaven for you then your dog will be there'.
Why would God have us connect so deeply with a pet if He didn't have a connection with them also? I don't think He would. Have the ceremony that means the most to you - God knows what is in your heart.
Dana

[Kim R.]

(I hate to say this, but it bothered me so very much earlier this year that a Virginia crematory was just piling pets and shelter animals in the woods in another state.

This is just terrible. It is bad enough to think about them doing this to the shelter animals, but to think of them doing this to people's pets that they have been trusted with is beyond words!
I would also like to add that some people think that if they leave their animal at the clinic for them to 'take care of the body' for you, that this means they are going to bury it or cremate it for you. I have worked at 3 different animal clinics, and that is usually not the case. All 3 clinics have all handled it the same way....unless the owner has made arrangements either themselves or through the animal clinic to have them cremated or buried at the owners expense they dispose of them. That is also what happens to all the shelter babies here (and most places from what I understand)...the poor babies end up at the land fill. I urge people to ask specific questions if it is important to you how your furbabies body is handled. These hospitals I worked at didn't keep it a 'secret' that this is what was done, they just didn't offer the info. unless it was asked to spare those who had no other choice any further pain. I know it is just an empty shell once their beautiful souls go to heaven, but it is still important to me what happens to my babies body after they leave it and I know it is to many others here as well.
I would be curious to hear from the others on this board that work in the veterinary field to hear how their clinics handle this situation...
Kim

[Shortrish]

Kim - I used to work at an animal clinic 20 years ago. At that time, this place had their own creamatory. And, they would do group, or individual cremations. But, now I know they deal with a very reputable place in North Jersey or Pennsylvania,. I don't want to give the name here, because Ido not know if it would be allowed. I did go to the web site, and it is a 65 acre beautiful park, It is actually a funeral home and burial park for animals. A full service facility with beautiful grounds. I did my research. I called them quite a few times, and was assured that my pet would be cremated individually, that we could be there and were welcome to be there if we wished. When I worked at the vet, though, I do know that they said that they told the owners , that if they did not want the ashes returned they would be spread on a wild life preserve. I heard talk that this was in the woods behind one of the vets houses. Also when I worked there, I saw many bags out back of the building, broken with ashes spilled out. Now I don't know if the vet was going to bring them to the "woods" at his house, or if they were for "garbage"disposal. Well, I did not work there long after that. All I can say, is just do some research. Your vet can tell you what they do and what facility they use. I'm glad I did my research, so at least I found some comfort that we were getting our pets ashes back.

[JOANNE]

I FEEL SO BAD FOR ALL OF YOU THAT HAVE LOST YOUR PETS TO DEATH IN WHAT EVER FORM IT HAPPENED. I HAD MY 15YR7MO OLD DOG A BICHON PUT TO SLEEP ON JULY 5TH 2006. IT WAS VERY PEACEFUL. HE WAS SO SICK THAT DAY HE DID NOT DO HIS USUAL WHINING WHEN HE WENT TO THE VET. MY VET GAVE HIM A RELAXER AND THE THE FINAL MED AND HE JUST WENT TO SLEEP. HE WAS BLIND AND MUCH HEALTH PROBLEMS. WE ALL MUST GO THROUGH THE STAGES OF GRIEF AND EVERYONE DOES NOT UNDERSTAND WHY WE GRIEVE SO FOR AN ANIMAL, BUT GRIEF IS GTIRF AND I LOVED HI AS MUCH AS ANY HUMAN AND HE LOVED ME PERHAP MORE THAN ANYONE. THE DAY THEY CALLED AND SAID REMAINS WERE BACK I CRIED AND JUST WONDERED HOW I WOULD FEEL . I DID CRY AND HAD ALL KIND OF EMOTIONS BUT THE PEACE I BEGAN TO FEEL AND I TOLD HIM RAGGS YOU ARE ON YOUR WAY HOME AGAIN AND IT HAS MADE ME FEEL BETTER. I KNOW ALL THE TIMES OF SICKNESS AND SURGERY AND HE HAD TO BE AWAY I WAS ALWAYS SO EXCITED TO PICK HIM UP AND HAVE AT HOME AND NOW HE IS WITH ME FOREVER I ADMIT NOT HOW I WANT IT BUT WHAT CAN I DO. HE CAME BACK IN A LOVELY CONTAINER WITHE THE RAINBOW BRIDGE POEM ON THE BACK AND HIS NAME ON THE FRONT. MY VET IS VERY REPUTABLE AND I TRUSTED HIM WITH HIS CARE ALL TOSE YEARS AND I TRUSTED HIM IN HIS DEATH. HE LOVED HIM TOO. THE BEST WE CAN DO FOR OUR SICK PETS IS NOT TO TY TO HOLD ON TO THEM FOR OUSELFS BUT LET THEM GO FROM PAIN.AS MUCH AS I MISS HIM I COULD NOT WATCH HIM SUFFER IN ANYWAY. I HAVE FOUND THIS SITE SO EMOTIONALLY UPLIFTING AS I FELT I WAS THE ONLY ONE HURTING AND IT AMAZED ME HOW MANY PETS HAVE DIED SINCE I LOST MY BABY . THE FRESH PAIN IS BETTER BUT NOT MUCH BUT IT WILL AND WE CAN REMEMBER THE GOOD TIMES. TO LOVE IS TO RISK LOSS AND IT IS A PITY OUR PETS CANNOT STAY WITH US LONGER

[Shortrish]

I can only say, that just when you think the pain is going to ease, somthing happens to bring you back to that awful pain again. At least that's what my experience has been these 3 weeks. My family doesn't understand, and my friends it seems only want to talk to me when things are good. So, I don't talk to them either. Here is the only place I can come, and vent and find any kind of solace. I miss my cat awful. I miss him bad. I am so sorry for you loss and pain. I am sharing that with you now, believe me. Here is the only comfort I find. I hope you find that here too. There are many wise, loving and caring people here. We are all here for the same unfortunate reason, we have lost a beloved pet. I have said this before, but I have grieved more for the loss of any of my pets, than I have for any relative. I am not a mean or cruel person, that's just how it seems. I feel sorrow and loss when I have lost family, and I have cried and grieved, but it is nothing like I have felt over the lost of a beloved pet.

[ccheyssial]

Raingirl,

I agree with Simba's daddy and everyone else who posted that God does take care of our beloved pets when they pass on. I lost Chestnut a month ago tomorrow and I'm still waiting for his cremains. Once I get them I intend to find a wonderful spot. I do know that Chestnut is in heaven and that he has already sent me signs that he is doing fine. In my "Hummingbirds" posting, I shared the fact that one day after Chestnut was put to sleep I had several encounters with a humminbird that just would not leave me alone. He appeared to me about five times within a few hours. I had this feeling that Chestnut was sending me a message that he was fine. A few days later I found out that in Native American spirituality, hummingbirds are called "Messengers from Heaven." I knew at that point that I was right, Chestnut was doing just fine. I finally had a dream or astral visit from Chestnut last week. I don't remember a lot of the dream, but he was there and whole and well. I know he knows that I have been hurting so much over his death and he wants to comfort me a little by letting me know he's not really gone, he's just in the next dimension waiting for me at the rainbow bridge. I'm crying again because even though I know he is fine, I miss him so much. Keep posting. Even a month later I'm still posting and it still helps.

Chestnut's mommy (Catherine)

[Juanita]

Oh, I so very much agree with each of you, especially the last two posts by Joanne and Trish. It would take me all night to copy into this reply the many quotes that "sang to me".

Anyone who has read my posts knows that I made the agonizing decision to have my dear Spike euthanized on May 23 of this year. Spike was a mostly Border Terrier who was at least 2 years old when we found each other at the local shelter in 1992.

To say that Spike brought joy into my life would be a gross understatement. As so many have said before me, he was my best friend and "soul dog"...a special creature with whom I shared a connection and a bond unlike any I had known before and doubt will ever experience again.

Like Joanne's baby, Spike suffered from multiple conditions including malignant oral melanoma that was diagnosed in early 2004, which is when his health began to steadily decline. We chose not to subject him to radiation, opting instead for surgery to remove the growth followed up with supplements dispensed by a wonderful holistic vet. On a home-cooked food and a rotating regimen of supplements to bolster his immune system, Spike outdistanced the prognosis for his condition for more than two years. Spike's vets have told that my dedication and devotion helped a little too!

Again, like so many others here, I couldn't imagine making the decision to end Spike's life and prayed for him to go naturally and peacefully in my arms when the time came. In the meantime, I prayed that Spike would "tell me" and I would "listen" when it was time to say good-bye. It happened, and I did what needed to be done, but to this day I don't know how. I just know that, once the decision was made, I kind of went on automatic pilot and came out of the trance when it was all over.

It is now more than two months since Spike's last trip to the vet. I still miss that little guy terribly, every day. I still cry over losing him, every day. I still pray that we will meet again, every day. Will I ever "get over" losing him? I don't think so. About a month after Spike died, someone asked whether I was "still" sad. I responded "It will take a lot longer than a month to heal after a 14-year love affair".

This site and another pet loss forum were the miracles that allowed me to start and continue on the journey toward peace and acceptance without losing my sanity. It is such a comfort being able to come here at any time, day or night, and know that others are feeling exactly the same as I am....to know that whether I continue to grieve for two more weeks, two more years or the rest of my life, I will always find support and validation here.

Thank you my friends. Your presence in my life is a precious gift that I will happily return whenever you need it.

Juanita....Loving Mom of Angel Spike

[Kim R.]

Kim - I used to work at an animal clinic 20 years ago. At that time, this place had their own creamatory. And, they would do group, or individual cremations. But, now I know they deal with a very reputable place in North Jersey or Pennsylvania,. I don't want to give the name here, because Ido not know if it would be allowed. I did go to the web site, and it is a 65 acre beautiful park, It is actually a funeral home and burial park for animals. A full service facility with beautiful grounds. I did my research. I called them quite a few times, and was assured that my pet would be cremated individually, that we could be there and were welcome to be there if we wished.  When I worked at the vet, though, I do know that they said that they told the owners , that if they did not want the ashes returned they would be spread on a wild life preserve. I heard talk that this was in the woods behind one of the vets houses. Also when I worked there, I saw many bags out back of the building, broken with ashes spilled out. Now I don't know if the vet was going to bring them to the "woods" at his house, or if they were for "garbage"disposal. Well, I did not work there long after that. All I can say, is just do some research. Your vet can tell you what they do and what facility they use. I'm glad I did my research, so at least I found some comfort that we were getting our pets ashes back.

I just wanted to make my statement more clear just in case there was any confusion . I would never want someone to question as to whether or not their pets were taken care of as they wished. If you have made arrangements for your pet to be buried or cremated, either directly through the animal hospital, or through the actual pet cemetery/crematory, then you should rest assured that those wishes were/will be followed through respectfully. Even at the clinics I worked for, if the owners made such arrangements, they were certainly respected. I am only speaking of those people who choose to not be involved in the arrangements of their pets bodies and leave it to the animal hospital to take care of. Some people just leave their pets bodies behind (due to financial or other cir%%stances) and assume that they will be either cremated or buried and that is usually not the case....it is just not possible for most animal hospitals to have access to their own burial property and they certainly wouldn't want to financially support the cost of having so many cremated or buried so routinely....that's just unrealisitc. I'm sure there are exceptions out there that have special 'connections' and so forth, which is why I urge people to ask questions. Like I said, if anyone ever asked the animal hospitals I worked with what would happen to their pets body if left behind, they were always told the truth so they could have the option of making other arrangements...there was never any type of dishonesty or misconduct on the animal hospitals part...otherwise I would have most certainly quit!!
I Just wanted to lay any worries to rest if my words were confusing and mislead people to think that there was reason to worry about what happened to their babies if they had made arrangements for them...
Kim

[nyna22000]

Our fubabies know no religion, race, bigotry, or any of our other human faults. From the beginning of time people have believed animals go to heaven. It was a Christian belief that they didn't , and that only certain people are allowed into heaven. I was taught that when I was a Southern Baptist.
I believe God to be all loving and that he welcomes us all eventually, and always our furbabies who are the purest of heart.
No matter which way you decide, cremation or burial, do what feels right to you. On the 15th ,when my furbaby goes to wait for me, I am choosing burial. My son is making me a cross, and I found a sweet little dog bird feeder I will put there too.
All any of us can do is follow our hearts, there is no wrong answer.

[raingirl23]

Thank you so much to all of you for your replies. We put Susie to rest this past Friday. It was awful. We all cried. It seems so surreal now. I am so thankful that I found answers to my questions here, and that I have met understanding people here even though I wish we would've met for a happier cause. The love for the animal is something special and once a person learns that love he/she can never forget it.

[Daisy's Mommy]

Be assured that nothing you do will affect where your beloved pet spends eternity. That is in God's hands.

I, for one, believe that "All Dogs (and other animals) go to Heaven."

After all, it wouldn't be much of a heaven without them.

Best wishes,

Daisy's Mommy